Aha

That people here are called 'Murugan, Narsimha, Katappa, Venkateshwara, Chitralekha, Manmohini, Sridevi warms the cockles of my heart.

Aggretsuko

Perhaps another few days and I'll have to come back to make arrangements for the post op patient in their family home which would involve me cleaning the entire house to make it conducive for his recuperation and I'll tell you one thing which is I'm not the person for this job, not least because it is a mammoth task to clean that house but also because I'm not ready to burden myself with that chore and mostly not prepared to get jibed at small issues I might raise which has been the case in past.

Of course I'm there to help and no I won't be alone but that part comes in much later because until then it's only going to be the two of us to make preparations for the rest of the contingent that'll come after and 'sanitised' is the word that is being thrown around rather freely making me smirk each time someone informs us about the necessary precautions needed because that house is exactly the antithesis.
In fact these people are an anathema to cleanliness.

Cleanliness is an attitude and whoever has it will keep a clean house no matter the circumstances and one who doesn't can never keep the house clean no matter how favourable the kismet and in this case the latter applies.
I know I'm being bitchy, complaining about something like this but who else can I tell what I feel?

I'm usually seething at small such issues but of course there's a smile on my face often confused with empathy but little do they know how I scream inside, denouncing everything.

:/

I. HATE.IT.HERE

My word

Will wonders never cease?

TIL

Things I didn't know due to me very limited hospital experience is that when you buy blood from hospital you need to donate some as well and so I saw bottles getting filled with my beloved O+.

The operation meanwhile has been successful and the rest we will know tomorrow only. The doctors excel in expectation management, in that they do not say something overly optimistic so as not to get hopes up in case things get worse but overall it's alright and the rest only tomorrow shall know.

Today and tea

No morning tea today. Is that why I'm so cranky, it doesn't show however but I am agitated.
On a positive caffeine related note South India is a hub for all that is coffee.
Cafe Coffee day every ten steps and perhaps that is where I shall seek solace in some tea because god help me I do not like tea shop chai's for their unrestricted addition of cardamom and continuous boils that lend tea a certain horrible flavour taking away the teaness, replacing it with a thick acidity.

Prelude

Morning and I'm sitting inside of a ward.
It's recently been disinfected and everyone's been asked to keep from touching anything all the better for me because it is morbid, this entire debacle.
How does one keep a straight face and smile through, looking at everyone else who is talking about mundane topics and I am unable to crack as much as a sentence only because I don't know what would be appropriate to say, also because I just can't find myself feeling happy while sitting in a place so obviously doleful.

Of course the near cheerful facade hides distress and everyone here only tries to keep up appearances so as not to worry the person soon to be ushered into surgery and I'm weak company because surely were I left on my own I would depress the sense out of patients which is why I'm better as a potted plant in the background.
Nodding and agreeing.

Let this all be over soon.
Soon.

Kisskiss

And now that it's night
a time that's just right
to think about you

Bloody hell

The fact that I'm summoned to do the smallest things like switching on a phone makes me want to punch the wall but I grin and persevere.

This too shall pass!

Uhh

I have seen lesser populated railways stations .
This hospital, a chain of popular private hospitals in the heart of Hyderabad is choke full of people and were it not full of stretchers and nurses you couldn't tell it apart from Rajeev Chowk during its most frequented hour.
It is depressing and manufacturing a smile was the most difficult part of this entire ordeal while looking at the patient concerned flanked with well wishing friends and family members.
I couldn't for the life of me look happy because the entire affair is so miserable and so I sat there disjointed, desiccated, discombobulated as people including the patient cracked jokes regarding the whole affair which included recoiling snippets of his daily ablutions in a bedpan while he was in ICU much to everyone's amusement and my disgust which was writ plain on my face.
I'm terrible company I concede and thusly after a handful of hopeful words now find myself in a hotel room wondering what to do.

Would going to the gym tomorrow morning feel apathetic?

Malazan reads

Not one for romances but one for romantics and I can't help but smile wide at the budding romance between Samar Dev and Karsa Orlong, of course the witch resists with eye rolls and what not and Karsa perseveres; it makes me grin feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

Lock down

Today began exactly seven hours ago and this is a small moment of Phew in a lost list of exasperated gasps that is today because the matriarch and I travel to another city where her husband is soon to be operated upon and this has increased the stress and strain on our already existing fragile relationship because there needs be someone to act as a cushion for all the excess painful baggage and what am I if not uncomplaining when I need to be.
Like patience on a monument I begin the day walking the dog while the sun is still beginning it's ascent and that moment onwards it's either this or that. Like an engine cranked up from the moment of ignition driven to despair until it splutters and stops.
Something simple as having a morning cuppa tea which is my only moment of calm is punctuated with demands and needs to get nefariously boring household chores done which can wait a long while seeing how up until the moment of my arrival they lay procrastinated but this isn't the time to quip and thusly the tongue is held under lock and key replaced by an assuring nod.

Maybe once I'm in another city the strain will ease and there will be others to share and support letting me off the hook for a while.
Hopefully all turns out swell but until then fingers crossed.

Circumscribed

The thing about living with a valetudinarian as I do currently is that almost everything one cooks has a component or two that makes them fall sick.
I'm in a consistent state of raised eyebrows and flux when almost everything I have to offer on the menu is turned down citing odd ill effects of the concerned fruit, vegetable or grain on the health of person concerned.

Bananas and rice tend to make their joints swell. A condition that I'd never known about prior to yesterday and when the swollen fingers were shown to me as a proof of how the ingestion of rice led to the inevitable I couldn't for the life of me notice the difference.
They looked normal to me but I had observed similar such suspicions during prior visits to not argue and thusly kept quiet.

Similarly yogurt affects them with cold and cough, mangoes make their body ache, cauliflower leads to bloat and there might be some more malady providing ingredients that I shall slowly discover while my stay here.

The thing is that these over the top suspicions and notions extend not only to foods but overall life in general keeping them from experiencing anything that is new.

More about it soon.

Figments

There's a place for everything here.
Even fused tubes and bulbs.
In fact there is an entire storage space dedicated to that because you never know when they might be needed for reference.

Drumroll

Just where and how do I get this done?
None of this sparks an iota of joy in fact if anything it douses whatever little smouldering embers there might be with frigid glacial water.
What kind of life does one lead surrounded by such trash?
It's debris and dead ends piled into folders that sit eating dust and this is only the topmost tip of the iceberg and I'm the titanic that willingly plunged head on.
Slow and steady.
However since this is not my house and these papers though utterly useless do not belong to me and just as I was typing my reverie was slaughtered by the matriarch who told me not mess with any of this dross because these are, gasps, important.
Well they're so important that I'm wiping away a century old layer of dust but whatever you say.

Ancestral

Ape friends come a prancing.

Heehaw

The more I open my eyes
The more I see
grime
which must have been dust
At some point of time
Now turned into thick
Slick wet mud
the more I scrub
My floors with fervour
The more they yield
Dirt and earth
and now I wonder
If anyone ever bothered
to clean this space
because all I see now
are large dust bunnies
making little ones
as ugly as them
dog hair and humans
braided into thick strands
fattened with dead skin
dandruff, scabs and more dust
all I touch
leaves a mark on clothes
wherever I sit
anywhere I roam
streaks my clothes
with faint grey reminders
of all the spaces,
large and little places
that never got cleaned
never found a mop
grew morbid in darkness
eating pans of dust
in a fit of sneeze
I begin to clean
like draining the ocean
with an espresso cup

It goes

Today!
What do I say about today that isn't unexceptional yet burdened with anxiety each passing moment.
Closeted with a very worried person I am beginning to wear down with the fatigue of trying to keep the day normal and that has increased my daily activities ten folds and believe me when I say it that by the time it's night I need nothing save a comatose slumber.

No!

If this noise doesn't stop in the next fifteen minutes I'm calling the police.

Misseth

During these trying days
These tiring days
all I want
Are some words
fed into my eyes
that starve
because they've not eaten
in a while

RIP ears

It feels like I'm sitting at a wedding because someone decided to have a wedding and invite and orchestra next door to entertain guests while the bride and groom arrive on stage and the orchestra in question is an over zealous lot of musical zealots who're doggedly pursuing their true calling resolutely giving their employer his money's worth because they're at it with a vengeance not pausing for a moment, filling gaps with humourous anecdotes, giving shout outs to their band mates, wishing newly weds their best while singing old Hindi songs of love and life with the fervour of ten collective mosh pits at full strength.

By and by

Who me?
Slowly turning into a hands on help/chauffeur/cook/punching bag.

Y

Why do I feel like eating Turkish delight?

Talks and learning’s

It was Republic Day yesterday.
I knew but didn't at the same time what with being around a bed in hospital the entire day.

Today is a big day in small scheme of things, that is the patient in question is leaving for another city, one that is known for its medical intuitiveness, one that excels in bypass surgeries.
I shall have to hold the fort back here and perhaps go when the time is ripe, when I'm needed and my help required but until then it's a stressful few days until the operation is successful and the uneasiness and strain of the entire episode weighs heavy each day, forming a sullied cloud of anxiety that gurgles with tears and constant needs for consolation.
I am no good at this so I stand in the background, providing solace in other forms, easing the pressure in other ways making ample space for melancholy to flow down unrestricted.

—-
During my numerous hours spent in the hospital wards and visitors lounges I learnt something more about heart diseases.
South Asians are the most affected community with heart problems in the whole world. People from the Indian subcontinent are most susceptible to heart diseases and type 2 diabetes, so much that even little kids begin showing early markers for future health problems.
These diseases often run in the family and are growing common among people mostly men but women are not easily spared either.
The underlying causes are not known yet but it can be mitigated by right diet and exercise.
South Asians are also know to exercise the least in the whole world, perhaps that's saying something.
Indians being the least physically active community leading to mid section obesity which is the largest reason for heart diseases and diabetes and Bad food habits which include eating large amounts of fried foods, sugars and simple carbohydrates that all form the basis of our snacks and cultural rituals that involve abundance of foods most of which are fried and unhealthy eaten in copious quantities.

There was a time when people ate like this and didn't die of heart diseases but that was a time when people worked farms, ran and laboured all day.
Food habits need to change with times and should be proportionate to amount of physical exertion one does and seeing how we are susceptible to these maladies it's much easier to prevent than look for immediate solutions.

I also learnt that South Asians are the least educated about the relationship between heart diseases and diet/exercise. They're ignorant about these connections and perhaps do not know when the time has come to take a step back and analyse.

Heart diseases take years upon years to build.
The cholesterols that spike which lead to heart attack takes more than a decade to keep collecting until one day the blood can take no more and the arteries choke.
Think of a gutter that begins blocking when the flowing water begins culminating debris and other garbage that just won't budge nor pass through the small exits.
That is much like our body, our heart, our arteries.

When it comes to food perhaps body is a place of worship.

Glute..n

My gluten intake is increased almost three times since I've come here.
Not that I have an aversion to gluten but I do not eat nearly as many carbohydrates in form of flour (wholewheat). I'd rather rice and whole grains and fruits and potatoes.
Speaking of which sweet potatoes are such a need right now.

Some bits

Say one thing about being nice and helpful say you can be mistaken for a slave.
Grin and bear it because other bigger and more serious issues are afoot and these are just smaller if even annoying little bothers that can be extrapolated upon later when things get better, but until then let me talk in my safe space.

Now look

A hoarders paradise, my nightmare.
Even the dust is carefully collected and never let go of because you never know how important dirt can be.
It's amazing how anyone manages to stay healthy here.
I'm not fickle but I have a load of allergies which get compounded with dust and by the heavens I shall clean all and everything up in here if I have to stay here for any period of time .
This shall not do.
This sounds selfish especially since I'm here because someone is ailing and on the verge of a serious operation but I'm only citing my issues and lodging complaints at a time when when the smallest words of disagreement can be hurtful.

This is my safe space.

Misses

Bleurgh

Trying to be nice to someone obviously sad and stressed and getting nothing but vinegary jibes and sour words makes me not want to be nice at all.
I mean come on!
I know it's bitchy!
But come on.

Gasps

The more I stay in a hospital the less I like it which means by all accounts I absolutely hate it because I've been here since morning doing nothing but sitting around and participating in torrid discussions.
Looks like a small party will be going out of town to accompany the person in question for operation while I hold fort back home here and prime it for a bunch of well wishers and guests (family) who will no doubt begin piling up.
This journey and only just begun.

ICU is the most depressing place on earth.
People on ventilators, people with a hundred tubes running around their person, people screaming, wailing, dying and my heart doing backflips at every noise, nostrils giving up on breathing after inhaling the typical hospital scent.
Mortality rubbing my face in its uncouth reality.
So much for fantasy fiction.

H2O

If I didn't know better I'd have thought this water was being sarcastic

Updates

Murphy's law raining hell.
Missed my connecting flight from Bangkok because the flight that flew from Shanghai was delayed, waited seven hours at the airport before getting on another flight to delhi where I am now currently and the other flight to The city where I need to be is in evening, so another 4 hours.
From being frenzied worried there's only disconsolation.
An open heart surgery has been suggested.
An air ambulance has been suggested.
Might have to go to another city.
Will have to cancel the tickets and hotel to Philippines where a holiday beginning next week was planned.
Might have to extend my stay here to take of in laws.
This isn't what life ordered but this is what is on the table.

This too shall pass.

...

A mere moment is all it takes for everything to suddenly crumble.
One moment it was roses the next a news that of my father in law having a heart attack and being admitted in ICU.

I'm packing now and coming home soonest.

Lunched

Leftover chicken ketchuptd rice from yesterday's omurice with deliciously pungent (read fermented) Chinese pickles, one that of green beans and the other spicy cabbage.
I don't usually much go for Chinese style pickles but when I do I go full mental, heaping them over everything rice and that they tend to stink up the fridge is another reason why I go through them lightning fast and it helps that they're delicious.

Scented floors

I recently bought some rose scented harmful chemicals free floor cleaner.
I do not know the veracity of these claims wherein things are touted to be wholly organic and what not but sometimes the virtuous millennial in me pokes out its head and brainwashes my sceptical side urging my honourable part to do the right thing which is often times as frivolous as buying a rose scented house cleaner which I finally used today and now my house smells like a Turkish bath.
There is an entire large bottle of perfectly organic homemade house cleaner that I made with sugar and citrus peels and let the whole thing ferment together for months until the sugar and acid reacted to make something of a citrus smelling vinegary concoction which is my choice of cleaning product for floors, bathrooms and dishes but I often receive complaints of the house smelling like vinegar which is why I either add essential oils to the mix or talk myself into buying silly things like this rose scented cleaner which is most insidious in its overwhelming scent that began from mildly floral to almost subtle to cloyingly sweet.
Hmm. This doesn't bode well for my head.

Nightflick

Vulturous night hovering undecided
whether to peck or ignore
I cease my breath
waiting for it to feast
twin waiting game
to die
to dive
dice.

New friends

tamagoyaki

Omurice

This is omurice, which is to say a layer of ketchup laden rice sandwiched between an omelette and was it delicious oh it was.
It was different, in that I've barely eaten rice cooked with ketchup for ketchup isn't my absolute favourite condiment but as I reeled with fear at the sight of almost a a half bottle ketchup getting squirted into the cooked onions I was pleasantly surprised at realising that the end result didn't taste that sweet and ketchup like at all.
The flavours had been balanced and it was delightful. Yes it was.

Food today

Fast feeds.
Lunch is a large kidney beans and yogurt wrap that is essentially a rather large parantha choke full of kidney beans spiced and calmed with yogurt dressing and vegetables because today is a bit busy.

cuisine exchange

Who me?
Getting a few things done before I get busy with doing a spot of cooking.
I have a Japanese friend coming over and we exchange recipes.
Sometimes I go to her house and prepare Indian foods and sometimes she comes over and we cook Japanese foods and today we are making 'Omurice', which is why my lunch was small compared to usual and rushed.
Hope there are plenty of leftovers and of course, I will put up pictures.

stress nights

It's history exam tomorrow and I have only just started studying a night before.
Don't worry I tell myself, I'll study the tedious notes I've made which are precise, concise and efficient but there's an entire syllabus to be done and I've no time, moreover, the notes in question aren't just a couple pages but a couple hundred and the subjects as varied as socio-economic structure of ancient Indus civilization to phallus worship and its impact on agricultural norms (?) whatever on earth that is and I screen the fat copy inked with paragraphs and flowcharts and that's when I realize what a huge mistake I've made.
How silly of me to start studying something so vast just a day before and now my knees turn weak as I sweat bullets because it's night, the exam is tomorrow morning and I'm already sleepy.
What d I do now, what? I'm disappointed, afraid and that's when the convulsions begin which wake me right up and out of the bed I leap, grappling for my phone in the dark to check the time and start studying so  I know at least to write one correct sentence but wait!
What am I doing? Slowly the room begins to creep out of shadows.
The birds are only beginning to chirp. It's still dark out and I mop my brow that is sweating.
There's no exam. Of course, there isn't. I am panting.
In fact, there's no more exam, ever. I exhale relieved.
I'm not even in school. A smile lights up my face.
That was just a very real dream. I laugh and go back to sleep.

Sneer

I've been thinking and the thing about good food, good habits etc is that it's all quite intolerable and pales in comparison to all that's bad, wretched and absolutely wrong for you and so I wonder if it's all that then why is it the first thing one wants to do?
I mean it all kills you in the end and what doesn't kill you is alright I suppose until it's time to die anyways.

_|_

The moment I start writing I'm asked 'what are you writing?'
Your suicide note I tell them and usually there are no more conversations after that.

.:.

Nighttime and curtains fall
ceiling drops
floors rise
Beds sink
pillows stay wedged
nighttime and bodies stir
broken moans
torn yawns
forgotten gasps
breaths stay estranged

/

Tonight smells like unrequited orgasms.

Banana fun

What on earth?

Pwetty

The weather was cold but it was sunny and the cat as usual looked good.
Something of a feline avatar with the perfect fur and the prettiest eyes.

Bast is smiling.

Track news

One of my many reasons to be present where I am presently was to return or exchange a couple of workout clothes that I'd bought yesterday; clothes that I'd bought without trying after only seeing the size and noticing the fitting which I knew to be alright for me.
One doesn't always need to try on track pants before purchase and I was saddened on seeing how it was wee bit tight on me.
Tight on my thighs and though it was discouraging to know that I simply can't seem to fit into Chinese fittings I knew that this isn't a problem I could rectify because my body type is different and no matter how I try to convince me I almost always find better, in fact perfect fittings in men's section, both for track pants and t-shirts.
Men's t-shirts in size S fit me like a dream and let's face it women's t-shirts are never that good.

Right, so track pants.
I'd brought with me the items intended for return along with a sample old track pant from the same brand that I was interested in finding and that's when I was told that not only was that particular design discontinued but also that those perfect fitting tracks were men's and so the very understanding sales representative recommended a small size of men's track pants that fit me so well that I wasn't embarrassed in picking two pairs of different colours.

The thing about women's track pants in my size particularly ones sold in China irrespective of the brand is that they're tight on my lower body and when I try to get a larger size they're loose around the waist while still being tight on butt and thighs.
It puts me in a rather confused state and therefore I'm ambivalent while shopping for pants and yesterday that was exactly my mistake in that I didn't try it beforehand, something I almost never do..that is I always try out clothes before buying them unless they're t-shirts I'm sure of..but yes, such are the conundrums and I am glad to say I found some lovely fitting tracks and a pair of swimming shorts too.

But why track pants?
I have over half a dozen lowers and the thing about them is that they're the most comfortable thing to wear around house no matter the weather and honestly I always travel in them as well.
Imagine sitting in a flight for over five hours wearing denims. Ugh! It makes me uncomfortable to even think it and there can never be enough tracks or pajamas as they ultimately turn into because I wear them to death.

Coiffure

Believe me when I say this that I'm sitting inside a coffee shop (not Starbucks) while staring at my phone and typing because I'm done with a string of errands and now I need to sit and be while sipping on some coffee not served in a plastic cup.
My coffee of choice is almost always either a double espresso or an Americano and today it's the latter and I'm thankful at the dearth of humans sitting with their MacBooks.
There is an expensive salon in front of me flanked with women getting their hair done by zealous men, steam pouring out of futuristic contraptions as it warms and soothes the scalps of fashionistas who are undoubtedly rather serious about their overhead vanity.
Of course these steam emitting machines are a crucial step in almost every hair routine/treatment be it deep conditioning, perm, hair spa, Brazilian blowout, keratin treatment, rebonding and what have you.

I won't be lying if I were to say that it doesn't tempt me to step inside and have something fun done with my hair but the question is what and more importantly why?
I think I'm happy with how and where my hair is about now and mostly straight owing to the dryness in this weather, not to mention smooth and so I'm seeing through the glass, the activities of the customers and willingness of the employees.
The laugher, gratifying smiles, preening stances of women getting their hair fondled and the yawns, bored eyerolls, weepy faces of their children who've been given some colouring books to keep themselves occupied.
Why these kids aren't at school is my question.
A couple of dispirited looking husbands sipping on complimentary coffee can also be seen, staring jadedly at their surroundings while trying to figure out the difference an hour of salon time has made to their women's head.
It's funny how men never figure out such things.

This mug of coffee feels like a well.
I've been sipping on it for an hour and it's still half full.

Lunch moods

Kidney beans and millet salad with yogurt because there are times when virtuous is all you feel.

Hear and sweat

I was listening to an Ayurvedic doctor/nutritionist's podcast this morning and he was talking about sedentary lifestyles among a lot of things and he'd said that a sedentary lifestyle is far more worse for health than smoking and obesity combined and how the presence of a single love handle is capable of making a person that much more susceptible to almost every horrible disease ranging from heart problems to cancer and it really made me think more about our daily life choices and how almost every decision we make every day, every moment impacts our health.

Wuht

What on earth happened to Ron Weasley??

Covered in gold

Treasure trove
Bullions of gold
Gifts of shiny chocolates for my little friends because I've run out of little chocolates and these gems at the supermarket meant for Chinese New Years caught my eye and what could be better than coins and what not for gifts, moreover these are so very nostalgic from that time as children eating gold medallions.

Still here

1:25 am and I'm still awake not because I'm not sleepy but because I don't feel like sleeping.

T’night

Dismal days

The darks eat my lounge

Morn

Sunless morning that makes shadows inside my house
under a graphite sky
above the grey bitumine roads
amidst beige wordless houses
the windows stare out into the gloom
of a saturnine Saturday

Scaly

Fish!
I ate my weight in fish today..
Except they had no bones and they were raw because sushi

:”

What do I want?
Just an extraordinary life without really working for it.
Just give it to me.

And now

I am
-Watching a south India movie not out of volition
- feeling the bite of this winter on my nose, in my finger tips, on my toes, in my heart
-at home because who goes out in this weather but now I regret because I'm drunk and I want to go dancing
-hating how my hair feels, dry and straw like
-nursing a torn lip that got dry and bled when I opened my mouth wide to eat an apple. Yes! That happened
-missing a segment of my brain that still dwells inside of a moment and won't come out

:-

Who me?
Watching You!

Drawing deets

I think I'm in love with acrylics.
They're so glossy and bright and delicious.

ººº

Predictable Friday afternoons
when the phone rings
the messages clink
all chime in unison
What's the plan tonight?

Thai needs

Tom yum soup with shrimps and rice noodles with all the astringent flavours that it could gather.
Delicious, nourishing and I underestimated my hunger therefore not nearly as filling.
Perhaps a couple bananas or eggs and some yoghurt would help fill me a bit more.
Note to self: you're a lot hungrier than you think.

Morning tops

Morning now and the first thing I did was watch the trailer for John Wick 3 and it's a bit like snorting some coke in the morning cuz I'm amped to the nines waiting with breath that's bated breathing excitement for this movie.
Gods!
I love how glossy and bright even the nights with their neon tapestries are played out in the background of John Wick franchise scenes.
How amazing was that scene with the mirrors in the last movie.
Proper homage to Enter the Dragon.
I mean I'd have knighted Bruce Lee.
He's the one modern philosopher I actually wholeheartedly believe word for word.

Where was I?
Yes, morning now and I woke up late because I don't know.
Seven in the morning sometimes edges on the verge of disconcertingly late because usually by that time I'm done with a long leg of morning which didn't happen today so I'm not complaining.

It was and now then

There was a time back in the day
When we rolled in hay
Listening to white stripes
joints in our mouths
worn denims, converse
wearing a smug air
unbeknownst our innocence
those were times
when cigarettes never stopped
cheap alcohol and Karl Marx
red hair, pink eyelashes
snogging every woman and man
who walked by
one of them with a phone
that rang Jolene
each time his wife called
so the other woman would know
I thought I'd cry
but there was always white stripes
there were always bad decisions
unreasonable reasons
unsuitable decisions
and I lived through that.

Smells

Though a manly scent I like evenings to smell of sandalwood or sometimes oud..the latter sparingly for obvious reasons but yes sandalwood mostly because it just feels a bit posh during certain times of the day, especially when the essential oil in question is top quality and the weather blustery.

the needs and the nods

There's an espresso machine that needs descaling
curtains that need ironing
cushions covers that need covering
documents which are pending
water that's begun boiling
thoughts that have been rotting
heart hellbent on roiling
sheets that need changing
regrets that want flinching
people who need singeing
bottoms that need caning
lips that crave staining
souls awaiting tainting
plans considering foiling
plants decidedly dying
kisses that should be flying
hands that need toiling
hinges crying for oiling
things that don't need buying
passwords that need verifying
molten moments slowly solidifying

Forgotten foods

Sometimes it's not the usual but comforting and forgotten you crave.
Case in point this delicious grilled dahi sandwich with coriander chutney that brings forth to senses a more carefree time in life and so here it is alongside some egg rice.

Netflix stuff

Always on the lookout to watch something interesting for a short interval during lunch and having exhausted 'Arrested Development' and finding little interest in Bojack Horseman I trawled Netflix for something captivating because there's something to be said about watching a light-hearted fun moment which is witty and humorous and since I do not vibe a lot with very American themes like 'Parks and Recreation' et al it's usually adult animation that I gravitate towards and lo! last week I came across..how should I say this? An insanely funny, mature, intelligent and pointed animation which literally brought tears of laughter from my eyes called 'Aggretsuko'.
Yes, it's a Japanese anime and yes it's fantastic beyond comparison.

There are cutesy animals instead of people and don't let that turn you off because it really is pretty heavy metal.
An office girl who is a red panda with yellow fur stuck in a thankless job with horrible bosses and crushing work pressure releases stress through death metal in karaoke and oft in the office bathroom.
It had me rolling with laughter because the expressions, comic timings and insertion of death metal grunts come at all the right points and it has to be seen to be understood.

----

I'd seen some fleeting moments of the trailer for YOU and dismissed it as some young adult series but perhaps now I'll have to give it a watch because you..

The music of morn

Different times call for different music.
This early, which isn't all that but still is, before 10am that is, it's classical rag's, sitar, flute and tabla that my ears need.
I want to listen to the crest and fall of the complicated dimensions of vocal acrobatics that go up and down in sonorous lilt to the background twang of Tanpura and rudra veena.
It's a bit of a purification ritual, the sweet tingles of Santoor sanctifying the corners of my house, driving away spent energies and working as aural incense to the soft thumps of tabla which reverberate any lazy juju to restore the lively patina of this casa in conjugation with the perfumed melody of flute which purges and distills the jaded aura of all that resides within; feline, furniture and human alike, creating a spiritual halo of positivity and even vibrations to get on with the rest of the day with a cleansed mind and wholehearted vigour.
It's a rather temple mood in the morning which helps strengthen and begin the day no matter how feisty it tends to get.
The flavour of my house is clean, vibrant and full of zest. It flourishes, it blooms and welcomes.

Morning meow

Hello dear friend.

Misses

Empty nights rife with feels

-:-

Tonight smells like burnt gadgets on a rose pyre.

On veganism

Instagram vegans are the worst.
Don't fall into their food traps that include ten kinds of seeds over five kinds of chopped veggies and a spoons tucked into an avocado.
These unscientific unsupported ideas about food is making a worse impact on this planet.
Beautifully decorated bowls of oats with fruits and colourful glasses of smoothies do not a good diet make.
Nutrition is about science and a lot of these new age vegans promote pseudoscience with their detox and inner wellness crap.
The more I see and hear people fall into this way of life, making large glasses of colourful waters and milking almonds makes my heart want to cry.

Nothing wrong with veganism except the aura of hippie naturopath spouting herbal jargon that surrounds it.
Eat a well balanced diet.
Run away from restrictive diets and stop overthinking.

MeLtDown

Each day is something new.
Today I learnt something fun about canvases that there are rougher sides to it which are impossible to paint on unless you prime them with gesso, something I'm not currently using and so armed without this knowledge I made a rather tedious outline of a foliage-rich drawing and as I began painting on it I realized that it wasn't catching the paints the same way my other drawings did and though I did feel the canvas a bit scratchy while making the initial sketch I didn't realize that this could be a point of contention too because the paints went on irregularly.
It felt like painting a road full of potholes where the paint just won't sink into the holes and the starkness of the holes showed through the paint and it looked horrible.
So that's a good hour of drawing wasted combined with another of trying to upload a new blog post on the food blog which just isn't loading and I feel a bit betrayed by today because now it's evening, I've barely had time to myself and soon It'll be time to cook dinner and I didn't even get started with today and sometimes..just sometimes I couldn't be bothered with domesticity.

I want it all and more. I want more time to be with me and finish things that need doing, just once I don't want to follow my routine which sinks its needle fangs into me even while I try to shirk it off, I want to not bother myself with the usual after glancing at the clock, I don't want to live inside of a time table and gods I want better internet, more cognizance and a will to better.

Please..I'm fucking crying here.

Sloth it up

I'm in the slow zone of the inter webs today.
Everything is currently loading including my life.
Hang on, it's not high definition yet and what's the point of lack lustre anything? So wait a while, let it load and we shall vroom!!

Wednesday foods

Vegetable porridge with a side of fried eggs because I'm extraordinarily hungry and I need sustenance and nutrition combined into one large heap of delicious food like this porridge in question which is full of all the veggies I could scrounge from my fridge and of course eggs because they're eggs.

The coffee of life

There are some people and I say that because I just saw them this morning who wake up and immediately make a run or drive to the nearest coffee shop (usually Starbucks) and get their venti's, their morning arsenal of wakey wakey and drive back or walk back home.
The nearest Starbucks that I know of is a short walking distance and even shorter driving distance and opens a little before 7am, that time of the day when I venture out for a brisk run after having packed lunch and what not and though my mornings runs are irregular falling mostly on Wednesday's, these denizens making their morning coffee runs are most regular and one needn't be Holmes to decipher that these good people have only just woken up, put a thick coat over their shoulders, their night suits peeking through and shouldered past the bitter cold to get their java on and I wonder why they don't just make a cup of coffee at home but I've witnessed such morning coffee runs plenty to know that only a coffee shop coffee would do for some people who need their half litre of caffeine fix.

I must however add that passing such coffee shops in the mornings when they've just begun brewing, their aromatic fug of fresh coffee wafts out the doors hits the nostrils most invitingly and sometimes I've often debated with myself whether I shouldn't go and sit inside, idling over a strong one while watching the world go by and of course it's not doable.
Coffee isn't my jam in the morning and empty stomach at that and I'd rather idle over a cuppa tea at home than outside and so I jog on marvelling at the coffee routine some people assiduously follow.

Life tact

My mornings busy
My day full
My tea gingery

Sighs

Did you know..
Refreshing is my favourite nightly sport

Kisses

Done and dusted

Tuesday is usually a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10 and it has maintained the status quo and that almost relieves me because I don't think I can take anymore pleasant surprises..not that I've been getting hit in the face with all that many but even so..that's another routine that doesn't want to break and I am not complaining.
There was work that I was hell bent on getting done but when I got to it I realised my past self had finished it last week and the present me remembered nothing of it which gave me enough time to be out and about for some work which was five kinds of urgent and left me with little space between personal perusals and dinner drive.

Tomorrow perhaps..hopefully.

There is a personal project I've been aiming for which I've been dawdling along with and I hate that I'm being an imbecile about it and I wish I had excuses but I don't.

Today felt like a bit of jazz and I've got a playlist going on with some classic, some acid and some bebop and it perhaps didn't gel well when a small army of kids descended on my home to say hi and cry about their bully troubles and it saddens me and both gladdens me that every kid has a bully situation to worry about.
Life teaches well..but the point is that they wrecked havoc over lovely saxophones and deep baritones and I couldn't help but suppress both laughter and annoyance..

More..soonest.

Eargh

I went out and I didn't like it.
The weather is cold with a touch of icicle and the skies are dreary. Overall blustery and depressing.

Food fuh

I know I know it's not new. I mean fried rice! D-uh. Don't I always make that but seriously each fried rice if different in that each has a different flavour base.
Case in point this particular eggs and tofu brown rice dish is flavoured with black bean paste and miso for that deep briny tang with a sour tone, offset with chillies and garlic to make it that much more piquant and well rounded.
I love this? Yes indeed I do!

Winter shred updates day 3

Trash

This morning new community guidelines for waste disposal.

Pichher

Watchmen is by far my favourite superhero movie.
Maybe I'll make a list..speaking of which I watched Aquaman and it's a treat for it's gorgeous colours alone.

There isn't much in the name of plot or acting but it's delicious visually..the neons and lovely graphics putting skills that work hard behind scenes at the forefront.
The underwater scenes in the vividity were reminiscent of avatar and it was good in 3D.

Cat level calm

Lounging for life \m/

Vigorous eye roll

Pictures clicked by someone who probably has feet for arms of mundane food that looks like it got plated during a stampede makes its way on Instagram and flushes my feed with a bizarre continuity by an enthusiastic person who hasn't in all these years realized that no one cares.

Feels

The kind of evening that makes me want to whip you while reading poetry.

Largess

A ginormous lotus root

hear hear

Today has been full of unseen accomplishments, ones that have been pending for a long while, ones that I kept putting off, ones that grew larger than life and began pushing me back and so I had to deal with all of them head on and I came out unscathed.. a bit on the dead side of things but alive.

Today is almost done with and another couple hours and I'll wonder dinner which is Thai curry as per popular request and who am I if not a DJ?

--
The audiobook I'm currently listening to while smudging canvas upon canvas with acrylics is 'the outsider' Not Camus but King and it's blazing except I do not like the voice of the narrator who seems to speak each sentence with such intrigue that it almost feels like a whispering question sometimes, but that doesn't take away from the mystery that is the who did it and I like it.

--
In another news, my Bluetooth speaker has gone kaput.
Seems like I did something to fry its circuits except I do not know what it was and so I am in the market looking for a newer, nicer one.
Something that would make the experience a bit of a cinematic journey of sorts because what am I if not an audiophile?
Good sounds just seem to tingle aural ovaries and I live for the experience of a delicious, clean surround sound.

--

Something strange happened this morning.
I woke up with a feral need to find some glue which I did and kept it in the refrigerator after which proceeded on with the day as per usual.
Making breakfast, packing lunch and what not.
It was while I reflected through the chores that needed doing that my morning deeds flashed like a surprise in front of my eyes and I retrieved a very cold bottle of glue from the fridge, wondering and worrying as to why and what on earth!!

kisses

dimly lingering perfume
of that musty room
from an afternoon
to fill in the gaps
scribbled with runes
only you can decipher

Frenzy

Today imma clean the very soul of this house.
Cushions, covers, couches, curtains..everything goes through a cycle .

Skins tonight

F is for fun

Who me?
Currently watching a movie called 'wolfcop'

Why?
Because why not?

About today

I've been out since morning and I'm still out.
Technically I came back once showered and left again and now I'm still out.
There's been coffee, lunch, shopping, movie and dinner and now perhaps home is where I need to be.

Watched bumblebee and it's a really cute movie.

Clothing tails

The problem with Guess clothing is that it's so loud in its proclamation of the brand that you can't miss it from the moon and that is often a deterrent.

Pokerface.jpeg

This can't be good!
Waking up and getting bored already.

I've gotten so used and love my morning loneliness to the point that suddenly the matrix with two people seems jarring.
Shortcomings of hip urban lifestyle that comes with liberation of thoughts and isolation of hearts.

Sometimes I feel like I'd rather talk to the plants..sigh.

Conjugal badminton today. The things we do to keep it all afloat..

Sniff sniff

I think it might be the new essential oil I've dabbled and experimented with in getting seeing how it was the hipper version of traditional essential oils but this particular one has my house smelling like a Dior flagship store.
Don't know if I love it or if it's driving me a bit crazy.

Alarm alert

Sometimes the body doesn't know how fatigued it is or maybe it does know just that we fail to acknowledge the signals..case in point me reading a book and finding my lids shutting for exactly two minutes in which I had the most bizarre dreams but it was two minutes and not more because my brain bothered me into waking up because it knew, my lovely cognizant brain was aware that the pressure cooker boiling chickpeas was sitting atop a stove and that wasn't something to sleep through.

Misses

I wait for days when I'd be alone with my phone and a cat for company.
The fleeting moments that begin with a skipping heart and end with ache in the same place that sang with joy upon seeing a face that initiated that day and ended it.

Oh come on

You know that moment when you'd thought of doing something and energetically strive towards its completion and open the door to a room and totally forget what was it that you'd gotten up from your seat from?
Yes that moment has taken over my life today.

Monarchs

Acrylics colours do bring out the life and I like how vibrant they can look.
What do you say?

Eats sweets

Omelette but wait..baked in the oven and puffed up to the gods with spinach and spring onions, and oh, a healthy measure of mozzarella because Friday's deserve it.

Nightkiss

Good night sweet night
I let myself get entombed
with white duvets
and dark thoughts

A little bit of this and that

Who me?
Watching battlestar galactica for no logical reason.
I clicked the first sci-fi movie the app displayed and now I'm watching it for no apparent reason.

—-

How life has changed working with an easel and I lost the track of time so much that when I walked out of the study room it was almost like walking into a dark den because there wasn't a single light lit inside the house and I'd been holed in a little cubby under my bright lights and magnifying glasses while the house roiled in obscurity.
To turn on all the lights, light candles and essential oils was for me the thing of the moment and today my house smells of vanilla and ginger..delicious winter smells.

Taste buds

Apples+ cheese is a combination most delicious especially when paired with nice wine however it goes just as well with warm water too.

paints and listens

Audiobookbay finally relented and I am now in possession of 'the outsider' audiobook, not the Albert Camus one but the Stephen King one and shall now proceed to listen while I draw.
did I mention the new acrylic painting I have begun?

Ah, acrylics.
They're such a fun medium. Somewhere between watercolours and oil paints and I'm only doing a sort of test drawing with it just to see the colours and how they fan out and the relationship they establish with canvas and water and with each other to get the first-hand experience as to how I should go about dealing with them in the future and so far they are bright, vivacious, shiny and not too fussy.
 You can layer and layer and layer and they're not finicky like watercolours and forgiving to almost every fault.
Of course, they're not the kinds to blend like watercolours nor do they but the effect they provide is also absolutely different and I think I'm going to enjoy them as much as watercolours.

—-:

If only there were no consequences to everything I ever did..life would be so much better.

Lunch

Baked chicken and vegetables with herbs spices, olives and fresh oranges because somehow I've begun to love the combination of orange and chicken together.
It's funny how it doesn't sweeten it but just adds succulence and a hint of opulence to the entire dish.
I might have to experiment some more.

Reading material

I've gone and broken my own rules this morning in that I had tea with toast when typically it's either just eggs before workout or nothing that is after a banana but today a banana alone just didn't seem to do it and as I stared the medicines square in the face toast came to mind because how does one justify have more medication that food in stomach.

The thing about Chinese medicines even allopathic ones are that they're very light and so the recommended dosage is 4 tablets thrice a day along with 2 multivitamins or Chinese medicines twice a day so one is expected to swallow six tablets at a time and I cannot tell you how much this creeped me out the first time I'd ever taken such medicines a long time back and now I know better and thankfully I've had very few occasions to tread the medicine route and last night I thought perhaps I should get something for my inflammation and I did.

Yes, so a toast, something i hardly indulge in especially in mornings and that too I'm not working out the past few days and yet an entire piece of bread made its way into my system..that too in the morning. Yikes!

To think I was planning a winter shred routine wherein I'd planned on losing about 4kgs and gain some more muscle but I guess that will have to wait another few days because if there's one thing I've learnt about exercising is that never do it during sickness because it makes the situation worse.
So get better, find your peak performance level and sweat but until then rest and stay hydrated.

Also, I'm a tad angry/upset that my go to audiobook website that is audiobookbay.nl isn't opening and I'd thought of downloading the outsider by Stephen King to listen to and now there are more books on the list as I found this morning and now the site isn't opening.
Hope it fares better today.

Oh the horror

That I have watched all movies that needed to be watched would be a statement most true because name a movie and I'll tell you I've watched it and in fact tonight I watched Hereditary which is probably one of the best movie I've seen so far this year or rather last year and it went with my melancholic distressed mood because as uncomfortable as I've been feeling with my throat situation that movie amplified the discomfort and I found myself flinching, something that almost never happens when I watch movies and the whole mood, setup and music of the movie is poised to threaten on the precipice of toppling over making one want to pull at their hair and scream.
It's a good movie.

Throat honks

The thing about medicines is that I hate them and I'm in the process of swallowing a couple pills and downing a spoonful of syrup that promises to mollify the piercing ache akin to having swallowed razors in my throat.
Cold in cold that is to say, wet weather, freezing temperatures add to that a hoarse voice and we have a complete weather update.
These medicines also makes one drowsy.

Decipher

And the name of my medicine is..

It’s about time

I mean how does one not have a gas powered stove in the house?
Electric plates for all their good are not the most ideal equipment for cooking. Sure they're great as a sidekick but not as the main star of the show!
You're in the kitchen you need fire you need water..the rest is all good fortune.
Moreover power cuts aren't a thing of the past in our country even in the capital.
It just doesn't feel like one has entered adulthood without a gas hob..single electric plates only give such college lifestyle vibe where things are taken as they come and no seriousness accorded to any real issues.
We are wiser now with greying hair and three decades to show for..surely gas stove is an option.

Food kiss

Speaking of chicken sandwich.
This isn't just your ordinary chicken salad sandwich but a chicken l'orange sandwich flavoured with seasonal oranges and cooked to tender succulence.
This turned out proper filthy sandwich that drip from corners of the mouth.
I couldn't help but click some pictures which I'll soon put up on the food blog.

Sandwiched

Do you ever wake up craving something very specific to eat?
I do, sometimes in fact often and since morning I've had the words chicken sandwich circling my head and that is exactly what I'll make.
Granted my mouth has turned into cottonmouth and my taste buds are on a hiatus but what am I if not greedy and mostly hungry, add to that that fact I've not been working out in this sort of sickness which has relegated itself to a monstrous discomfort in my throat and I shall not relent nor back down and cook up something so silly that my taste buds will have no option but to make a comeback.

Faux pas cleanse

On one of my recent jaunts to Thailand I picked myself a rather large vial of lemongrass essential oil and proceeded to add a few drops of the said essential oil to a bucket of water that I used for mopping the floors and I might have gone a bit overboard because the entire house smells like an explosion in lemongrass fields.
Yes it smells rather fresh but if someone were to step in my house right about now they'd be rather confused.

Allies

My new friend comes over every couple hours to rest and feed.
He's a rather large cat by cat standards, much like Harry Dresden's cat 'mister' and as menacing as he looks, this cat is rather gentle.
He sweetly meows and as skittish as he was a month back he seems to have warmed up to me and even let me pet him for a moment before running away.
I think I'll call him 'Gang' which is Chinese for big and strong.

throaty song

Barb wires
that I've swallowed
turn into wisps
of jagged filaments
decorating the peripheral
insides of my throat
cresting like waves
serrating
the thin zone
of tender flesh
in haphazard motions
of a saw toothed comb
dragging along
in cacophonous channels
like fleshy walls
rubbed avidly
with fistfuls of sand

Slipshod

Tonight smells like unfinished movies and saline water baths that seem to have gotten chugged right out of a steam engine yearning to meet its lover lost in the touchscreen mode of decaying keyboards and half eaten clothes resulting from moth wars strung on hangers under glitzing lights smiling like dying flies over poisonous bodies winking like they know the ways of this universe.

Honestly

To tell you the truth my skin loves nothing more than a thick slather of petroleum jelly and often that's exactly what I wear, cuz yes I like skincare and yes I do love the myriad stages of layering moisture on my face but honestly and let's be true it is but a gimmick; sure I wake up with skin feeling plumped and hydrated but seriously!! Petroleum jelly for me. Always has been.

Dead pixels

I'd forgotten to post the updated version of this drawing, so here it is.

medicine gal

Looks like I've done a bit of a backflip and instead of allopathic medication to alleviate and assuage my sandpapery throat I've gone the Chinese medicine route and taken what looks like a khakee coloured pill.
The thing about cough and cold is that there really is no medicine that can mollify or cure the sickness, sure fever can take paracetamol but what if there's no fever?
In cases such I usually find myself sucking on liquorice root or drinking warm clove and honey water which helps pacify the crawling prickly sensation and today I found myself in the possession of Chinese medicines and thought why not?
I mean what's not to love about ancient medicine and as a die-hard believer in Ayurveda I don't mind trying the ancient rituals of Chinese medicines either and by the looks of it or rather the feels I do find myself or rather my throat feeling better.

Grumpy beginnings

Today promises to be blunted at the front and end; a day that began with disappointments and hopes to end on similar notes as well.
Case in point my online radio app that I use each morning and evening for a hundred things from listening to music, to news to podcasts from channels as varied as metal voltage to Japanese funk and today as I proceeded to open that app it notified me of its extinction.
Now, how on earth am I supposed to find a wonderful radio app that I can use to cast on my five channel music system which fills the whole house with waves of delicious ripples?
I am upset, nay, I'm angry, add to that a slight feeling under the weather that keeps me away from working out momentarily and now I've an entire day to blame.

Sneer

This morning is a faded wash of myriad grey tones painting everything alive an ashen hue of dull acknowledgement.

Night hues

Nighttime and I enter my nightly sarcophagus
of fabric and fond moments
spent restless in thoughts
where smiles conjure into a stare
abstraction matinee
nocturnal necromancy
playing at the back of my head
an unlocked jigsaw
that immediately locks into place
a voice emitting from behind a face
curved smiles
gleeful eyes
and they talk
whispering the words
As I read a digital page
in your voice.

Skins

Sniff sniff

I am not too pleased to know that I've got a case of the colds in that my eyes feel watery and throat sandpapered.
If all goes well it should stop at that and if I'm hugely unlucky then maybe I'll fall sick which I guess I won't because I rarely get cold or fall sick but this might have also something to do with dust allergy, dust that came flying at me while I emptied my vacuum bag and I inhaled in deep and coughed and regretted immediately.

Tread caution

Monday's roll in and it's a bit like Tetris where you've to seamlessly fit into the right nook to ensure perfect or at least neat looking great few days of the week because start with an unharmonious badly aligned day and the rest of the week will come hurtling down in an ugly deformed heap.

Wordpress rants

It's taking longer than usual for me to post on my food blog because Wordpress has changed a lot of its settings and brought forth newer funkier looking ways to format making the damn thing horribly user fiendly.
It's become a nightmare to cut and paste because I simply can't do that on it anymore and the new jargon of the blocks and paragraphs and different headings and what not has taken away from the simplicity of being able to just write and post and now it's gotten a bit annoying with a hundred options none which I mostly tend to need.
Sigh..

?s

Have you ever had that feeling when you're absolutely thirsty despite drinking bellyful of water and there's not a drop you can accommodate but you've still got cottonmouth?

small pointers

Who me?

Testing out a mouse, one of my latest purchases in the gadget arena because since I've stopped using photoshop for reasons I do not care to yell to the world anymore dealing with other designing software necessitates the inclusion of a handy mouse since my fingers undergo a ritual damaging each time I'm done editing a hundred photographs.

Talking of blogs I can't tell you the guilt within for not having updated my blog even though there are posts ready to be uploaded and it's all because I've been lazy ever since the day I touched down back home, I've been running away from work and the past couple days the agony of staying out of touch with everything has taken over new guilt-laden contexts, so here I am. 

Up up and let's get on with our lives then. 

Skins

Basic everyday no fuss night care.
The lip mask and face cleansers excluded but the rest of the skins are here.

First skin toner, second skin is a serum, followed by a retinoid, then face oil, followed by an occlusive and finally a night mask.
There is a lip mask later, hand cream and sleep.

Why not?

Up and above

Who me?
Living in sci-fi dreams.

Wink

And I think of you..

Acid rain

The thing about today is that I've been gargantuan angry.
Why?
Oh only because there were plans that didn't pan out and I could write an entire thesis but what's the point?
Put a lid on it as we say, as we do.

It's barely ten and I'm tired not least because the entire day goes by in a rush of activity.
Two long daily walks, both followed by small meal preps for the pooches and seeing how it's been relentlessly raining the dogs need a daily bit of dry cleaning with special attention to their feet that gets muddy and dirty.

Book fair sads.
I wonder what good stuff might you get your hands on this time and perhaps a day alone won't be enough there.
I've yet to finish the last couple hundred pages of the eighth Malazan but I seem to have got hooked on to a manga and a comic book (lucifer) along side not to mention an anime.
Of course all this will change come Monday when I fall back into the rut of things something I've been avoiding for a while.

There's a project I need to get on and I'll write more on that once I start but yes today has been extraordinarily annoying right from the moment I woke up and saw the time which wasn't midnight but seven in the morning; pitch dark the world outside and wet to boot to eating a lonely dinner of carrots and soy milk because there were dinner plans of which I'd made reservations but there I was all dressed up with nowhere to go cuz turns out I was the only one who remembered the plan and weekend doesn't mean nothing when there's office afoot.

Annoyed, angry and imbibing cognac to ward off the cold and suppress anger cuz why not?

Odd symptoms

That ever morning I exhibit symptoms of horrible cold that dissipate a couple hours after is bugging me.
Like I wake up with a heavy head with sniffles and a sandpapered throat but by the time I'm done with the morning chores that of cleaning, feeding the dogs and making bed I've gotten better in fact the horrid feeling of it all leaves without a trace.
What might this be about?
It's been on for past three mornings now.

There's a bandage on my right thumb and I'm finding it difficult to type.

Nighttoast

Nighttime and sleep rears its pretty head by my side
Grudgingly nudging me
to trudge into bed
Before it escapes or ignores me
to paint the night black
so I pull my covers
find some space
and begin thawing
under thick blankets
of pillowy roundness
so I sleep, see, seep
you and dreams and you and you

Skins

Night routine lite edition.

Catamania

Well well, aren't we cute? Am I expected to just forget you're a selfish, self serving little piece of fur who claws me when you don't want petting and comes running to snuggle when you do?

Long exhale

Dinner tonight is pizza and I've really had to haul myself off from the couch and binging on anime to actually hurl myself into the kitchen and get going.
It's not that I'm being lazy it's just that I don't feel like doing anything and this is hardly the right way to start a new year but I can't commit myself to doing something my heart isn't into.
I've not got myself out of the holiday mood and mode and yes there are things that need doing which I'm being oblivious to but promise to do all that starting Monday but for now let me just be world.

Pizza then!
I mean I could have ordered it too but no! I'd rather just make it. Gah.

Evening walks

It is not easy handling two dogs at once and even more difficult to keep them out of other dogs' way and worse when they've to poop and absolutely impossible when you've to cross the road.

Smiles