Suicide blah and movie rants

Suicide squad is a really shite movie. 

Like what the fuck is even going on? All that jazz about Jared Leto's method acting had me believe like he was the second coming of joker Jesus, and damn, was he hardly even in the movie. 

It's so bad that it's not even good. Like it's just the very worst kind of bad that can't be redeemed. 

Also, it's boring. :( the plot isn't all that, in fact it isn't anything at all, the acting is pretty meh and one wonders if the editing and story writing were done on an iPhone, the same as this post.  

I think they used up all the fun parts in the trailers, and even those weren't as much fun in the movie. 

It was almost as exciting as meeting a flaccid member, when you're in heat. 

I'm so done, so completely done with marvel, DC, everything. 

They serve bejeweled barf on a silver platter, and all you gotta do is scarf it down..no more. 

It's impossible to take Thor seriously after the 'Thoreal' meme, batman is a joke with Ben Affleck, because something about him gives me a very 'husbandy' vibe, and ugh to that.

Avengers, Dr. Fag, superman etc have started to feel like cosplay theatres. 

Maybe I've just grown up, and watching costumed people in a series of CG action  and devastation kind of pissess instead of entertaining. 

What's more, I hate that in each movie they build up to some colossal event, an important closure, only to water down its importance in the next sequel. 

Like all the hardships everyone went through to see something through in the first part doesn't really matter anymore, cuz the second part has some more pending stuff or whatever. 

Oh, fuck you. Fuck you all. 

The only seriously good, fabstatic, awesome, wonderful, brilliant superhero movie that was absolutely mind blowing and true to its heart and soul was 'Watchmen'. 

They didn't make a better superhero movie than that.

 No, not dark knight movies either. 

I mean 'Bane' couldn't stop fucking talking. Never has Bane ever been so damn talkative in Batman, but Chris Nolan couldn't seem to make him shut the fuck up. 

Why the fuck am I ranting about movies at this hour? 

Cuz I can't sleep. I'm sick, literally and figuratively.  

A bit of fever, a throat that feels like it's kissed acid, reverberating headache and the weirdest itch in some phantom location on my tongue. 

I can't sleep. Need to, but can't. 

Night cat

Late night guests. 

They purr their way into your heart, into your home and your nighttime bed. 

I could do with a furry bedmate, one that makes space in the small nook between your head and a careless pillow, with absolutely no consideration for you. 

I can feel his deep purrs vibrating through my elbow and into my arm.

He's a content cat, and why not? Burrowed in a soft cloud of clean sheets with an ever eager buddy to carress him at his every whim. 

\|/

alleviating wretched mood.
background riffs for foreground fuss

Foolishness sans sense

My tea has more masala than any Bollywood flick. 

A fistful of peppercorns, cloves and ginger..why? Because I was silly enough to bring upon myself the curse of changing season, against my better judgement. 

It all started yesterday afternoon when I poured myself a big frozen beer mug of ice chilled water, so cold that Siberia felt like a tropical joke. 

It was a mug of ice topped with cold water, and so much did it resemble an iceberg that I was a destined titanic. 

A small voice inside me kept telling me to stop this folly; that weather was changing, it's suddenly chilly, there's no need for fans even, and drinking this cold concoction would do me no good. 

My brains kept steering me towards my usual kettle of hot water, but did I listen? Of course not, and in soothing small sips, I downed that ocean of ice water, thus effectively freezing that small voice within me. 

Five seconds after that water percolated down my throat, my insides were a colder version of 'Frozen' and I didn't even need an animated princess to do this to myself. 

I felt my ribs, lungs and heart freeze momentarily and it was fine after that, or so I thought. 

A few hours after this careless enterprise, my throat felt like it was undergoing some ectoplasmic activity. There were a hundred ghosts of odd sensation. A momentary feeling every few seconds that something just didn't feel right in my throat. 

It didn't feel normal.

I knew it right then that my karma didn't take too long to give me a swift kick in the pants or throat, rather. 

I didn't remember the last time I had flu or viral or bacterial infection. My immune system is pretty sturdy and doesn't usually let me down, but I do know that another person in the house was I infected with the same bug and was pretty sick, and that I was a nurse for that week. 

Perhaps it affected me in some way and was now on the lookout for some silly mistake on my part to invade me completely? 

Needless to say, I was in a feverish grip of, well, fever, and my night was spent in odd dreams of trying to find t-shirts. 

Morning found me in a heap of ache, every muscle hurt, every joint in my body let its existence known rather harshly, and my throat ached, in fact it felt like it had grown its own set of serrated teeth. 

Copious amounts of simmering hot water, followed by saltier than Andaman sea salt gargles helped in ebbing the pain.

 Fever isn't all that high, and perhaps that's an indication of my dearest white blood cells giving this infection one hell of a fight. 

I'm no wolverine, but I hope to recuperate sooner than flu lets you. 

Of course if it doesn't get better, I'll have to take the aid of a few medicines. Sigh. 

One small step to foolishness, a giant leap for madness. 

Don't drink cold water, no matter how much you think you want it, in this season. 

Gah, I should've listened to my brains..but then, when do we ever listen to our brains? 

Stuff today

Sort of down and out. 

Finished with the final audiobook of 'the first law' books, and now that it's over, I'm wondering what next to do with this life..sigh. 

To say that I absolutely loved loved loved these books would be a gross understatement, cuz, well it would be an understatement. 

Also finished a sort of small pending drawing.

Not a great picture, nighttime does photos no favours, but I'll click a better one tomorrow. 

A couple close ups. 

Dreams

The skies were blue, splattered with a sheet of clouds and I whipped out my phone to click pictures, but the taxi I was in turned around a bend, and suddenly the beautiful blue sky was greatly overwhelmed by a gigantic arena like a colosseum of extraordinarily tall buildings, with gigantic antennas protruding from their roofs. 

These weren't residential buildings, in fact they didn't even have an entry or exit door. 

They were more like gargantuan sensors, with a million tiny Windows, distributed without any pattern. 

Like huge concrete batteries standing in a Herculean circle, transmitting signals of a thousand kinds, for everything, to everyone.

They were so enormous, they dwarfed the skies. 

As the taxi moved ahead, there were more buildings in view. 

This time huge pantheon sized domed buildings.

 Not one, but a series of oversized, elephantine residential buildings, with gold coloured mammoth domes, and terra cotta stone goth structures. Supported by vast brownstone pillars, these residential buildings were immensely dense. 

One after the other; something of an enormous stadium of vast buildings, one behind the other. 

They covered the entire dreamscape. 

I could see them so clearly, like they were plastered inside my retinas, like I were staring at murals through a magnifying lense.

It was so incredibly grand that my mind couldn't register the stupendous scope of this dream and woke me up.

Oh sigh, I lost those images, but couldn't forget them. 

 

In the now of the right now

Just a week off from this city, and it welcomes you with changed weather! 

The onset of Autumn; winds have a different flavour.  

The clammy stillness is replaced by cool breeze, chilly in fact. There's no need for air conditioners or even fans now. 

It's sunny out, but not hot, not in the least. Oh it's windy, so wondrously windy. 

The curtains are animated, billowing, puffing, relaxing and generally waving themselves about in white wisps of transparent patterns, all over the house.

The main door has been mysteriously letting itself thrust open, each time after getting shut closed. 'The wind made me do it', yes it did.  

And boy am I glad to not be on any social networking site and read about western obsession with pumpkin spice latte in this weather. 

---

The house welcomed me warm, with orchid smells, manageable mess and a hungry cat.

There's a space inside of me that stays vacant, and fills only momentarily. I love that space. 

It's a sad space, but sometimes often the happiest one when for a few fleeting moments it finds itself brimming with feverish fervour. 

Today

The blues of the sky do little to pale the blues I feel today. 

pangs of perennial pining, intertwined with welcome whiffs of wistful warmth. 

---

Raunchy luscious dreams all night. Too NSFW for this space. Sigh oh sigh. 

Huh!!

So I just took off the phone case and tried recording some more sounds, but to no avail. 

I double checked by recording once again on voice memo application and I can hear back crystal clear. It records sounds with pitch clarity and when I did the same with camera to record a video, it didn't. 

Right, so the videos I sent my friend are also mute. 

But when I recorded using another camera app, it was absolutely clear. Which means there's a problem only with my camera and whatsapp. 

They're the only ones that can't record sound anymore, and now I feel awful that I didn't use this same app for recording videos yesterday. 

Ah, well..coulda shoulda woulda. 

But what's the problem now? What does this mean? I'll have to get this phone repaired. Arghh 

Ugh phone troubles

I don't get this problem. 

-the volume is set to full

-not on the silent mode

-no problems with ringers and alerts yet

-Bluetooth is disabled

-earphone plug is cleaned 

-can't remove this iPhone case without breaking it. This case has run its course. 

Will try to do this. 

If nothing helps then I'll have to take it to an apple hospital. 

--|_-

Jaded comforts are often bred in fondness for familiarity; a dead end to long-term memories 

Problems

Something seems to be oddly wrong with my phone. 

When I record videos etc, the background sound is barely audible. 

When I send voice notes on whatsapp the sound is nil. 

When, however I record voice on voice notes, the sound is pretty clear, ditto on wechat. 

So, barely any sound on camera recordings or videos and zero on whatsapp. 

But clear sounds on voice notes and wechat. 

What is this mystery and how do I solve it? 

This problem is pretty localized and only adheres to a couple of apps, instead of extending its annoyance to all. 

It can't be the speakers..I don't know how to solve it. 

I'd recorded so many videos of Phiket nightlife and Muay Thai, and there's no goddamn background music in it. 

Feels like a colourful mime show.

I'm so frustrated and angry. 

 

Fight fight fight.

Oh man oh man oh man. 

This has gotta be the funniest night in this country. 

Oh wow, was I clapping like a maniac, cheering, letting, jeering and going mad out of my seat? Yes, I was. 

The atmosphere was charged with a billion volts. Oh there's so much to say. 

I whistled like a petty goon, shouted, screeched and went mad with delight. 

Oh wow. No words. 

Perhaps I can write more when my thoughts are in one place. 

This city is like a 24 hour party though. 

And dos k get clocked with a winner or what? Yes I did! I do look totally frazzled, but could I help it?

The same guy from the poster in the back. 

Fights

Might be a tad overdressed for Muay Thai, but what of it? 

Beached

Not the best day for the beach, but what can you do huh! 

My friend is a terrible photographer. I'm a stranded mermaid.

It was raining a little, the beach was sparsely populated and it felt really nice. 

The water was just as salty, waves just as lonely and I suffered a few too many nicks and cuts, courtesy rocks.

But in all it was a lovely day. 

And I found this dead fella 

 

Wha!!

Now I've seen everything. 

I don't know if you can see it, but there's a person snorkeling in the Swimming spool!! 

Beach and fights

The rains proceed to dampen my spirits and sour my mood. 

Here I am garbed in beachwear, wondering if this really is a good time for beach. The sand will be sticky, we won't be able to lie down on it, or play some games. 

The sea will be rough and murky, there will be flags stuck all over for swimming limits. Most of all it'll be raining when all we'd want to do is just sit and chill. 

Gah!

Fuck it in Phuket

--

On the brighter side, I've booked us ring side seats for Muay Thai. How could I not? It had to be done. 

:( :)

Oh dear oh dear I'm mighty guilty

Stuff

I will go to hell for picking and choosing marine life that should die for our food. 

Ah well, at least I dressed right for the occasion. 

Weather

If this isn't an indication of a fuck all weather, then I don't know what is. 

Ugh

Aaand it's raining in Phuket.

Effectively putting a damper on all beach plans. Aaarghh! 

But what is sea if not water. Some on top and some below. Sigh. 

Optimism is key 

Onwards and upwards

Off to the sea, my gills are itching and the salt beckons. 

But before all that, one must endure a flight, an early morning flight at that. 

6:40 am, and it was almost peak traffic hour. Imagine! Bangkok traffic is something else.

 One would be ill advised to travel via roads in this city. 

Had we left anytime after 7:00 for a 9:50 flight, we'd have never made it. 

However we left early, and thusly bypassing traffic hours, not only did we make it in time, but in fact made it before time, in time for an earlier flight..not that we plan on taking it; there are complications enough in one lifetime.

Drama in Bangkok

Alright, so last night we went for for a spot of Thai dance performance. 

It was a blitzkrieg display of lovely sounds and perfectly managed theatrical show. 

Photography of any sorts was strictly prohibited, so no pics for that.

Known an Thailand's must- see show 'Siam Niramit' was an extravaganza show telling of Thai history. 

No dialogues, just music and elaborate-as elaborate can be props, costumes and oh man the props. 

There were people flying, strung up on harnesses, fish swimming (props), it was delightfully overwhelming, the way it was structured, the scope of the entire 80 minute performance was beautiful. 

 I mean they had elephants on stage that were not props. 

'Siam Niramit' was a paegant to say the least. The colours and lights were a spectacular weave of neon rainbows, and it was a spectacle to behold..having said that, it sorely lacked any performance as such. 

I thought there'd be a lot of traditional dances, which were largely absent. 

There was a goodly amount of choreography of course, one can't depict  such gorgeous scale of drama without choreography, but of dance there was little. 

In fact the performers were mostly actors and not dancers, as I could gather from their movements and their basic lack of efforts in synchronization. 

Basically it was a bunch of people doing stuff in the foreground, amidst breathtaking lights, props and colours.

They put on a show, which was really not as interesting and gripping as the stage and all the fuss around it would have you believe. 

Had it not been for the astounding production design, it would have been pretty lame. 

I wouldn't recommend spending 1350THB on 'Siam Niramit' anytime if you're ever too eager to wallow in Thai culture. 

If however the whole drama of theatre has gripped you tight, and this blog post is overshadowed by the strong recommendations (for Siam Niramit) that no doubt will have you sway, then you'd probably watch it still. 

 

Rrrrant

If you're ever stuck with a non adventurous companion on a fun trip, then you have my condolences. 

It's August, so of course it's hot. You gotta bear it and get on with your life, baring helps too, if you aren't afraid of tan lines. 

It's a holiday, for heavens sake. There's no option to stay cooped up in a hotel room and restrict your movements to only sticking your head out in the night, and even then it's balmy.

You gotta frolic, be hither and tither, out and about. Soak in the sun and everything that your surroundings have to offer. 

See things, walk a bit, click pics, instead of  making a beeline to every shade, shadow and shelter..chiming the same bloody mantra 'I will become black.'.

 So what? It's just a tan, it'll go away. 

Become black for once, who the fuck cares. 

Even dearest friends can be a pain in the asses and annoying to the core. 

'Would you like to eat this?'

-no 

'Would you like to drink this?'

-no

This?

-no

'That?'

-no 

-I'm afraid I don't like this taste. This smells so funny. This doesn't look good. It's too strange. I never tasted something like this before

Of course you didn't, that's why it's another country where you get to be a part of a different life, heritage, culture, people, food, language, values. 

If you wanted everything to be same and had to say 'No' to everything, then why pray did you travel all the way to another country, when you could've just as well stayed in the familiar sameness and said 'no' in your motherland. 

No Thai boxing (I'm a sad panda) but ok to Thai dancing. Thank heavens. 

So yeah Thai dance it is tonight. 

Disclaimer: this is just a rant. I love my darling friend to bits. 

Intervals

Every morning ritual deserves a break. 

Staring into maps is a much needed breather of momentary calm from staring into a stove pot, cooking breakfast each  morning. 

Exhilaration, rejuvenation, jubilation.

Regular life, as decisively significant and substantially meaningful as it might be, is never as eventful as one'd want. Thank god for that. 

Imagine a life without monotony? Ugh, wouldn't that get boring to never have any uniformity; however the jaded blahs need a bit of manual overriding, rebooting and new coding every now and then. 

Selfies

Bathroom selfies 

Because why not? 

Boys..not really!

Ladyboys of Thailand 

It was a proper show, somewhere along the lines of Moulin Rouge. 

Except none of the performers were born female. 

I mean..wow. No words.

It was a full blown performance. 

The fact that ladyboys are so commonly, normally accepted even celebrated, speaks a lot about Thai society. 

There isn't any stigma or hate. Ladyboys aren't some derided freak show, they're in fact a proper popular show. 

The theme was largely Old school Hollywood  musicals, with some bits of relatively new songs thrown in. 

 Lip syncing performers crooning to 'sound of music' numbers and a few Asian slapstick burlesque performances. 

It was a pretty fun night, and they lined up outside the exit to be clicked with interested tourists. 

Of course I got myself clicked with a femme fatale. 

There were some performers sporting thin beards and bikini bottoms, and I'm wondering if they got their man parts chopped off before their hormonal correction began to kick in or what? 

I think I need to interview a ladyboy. 

I mean goddamit, their bottoms were so damn tiny and they didn't sport any bulge, so of course they didn't have their manly bits, but they didn't have their boobs either, and there were bits of moustaches attached. 

So, did they learn to fly before they walked?

It's beyond intriguing, and I've so many questions. Ones that only a ladyboy can answer. 

And all that jazz! Hah. 

Totally made my night. It's late, real late, and we're still soaking in Thai nightlife. 

Tonight is probably going to be wee hours of early morning..just the way I like it. 

I'd totally forgotten how fun prowling used to be. 

Soon..

Thigh high Thai

Ho hum..

What felt like an eternity under the blazing sun was in fact just 4 Thai hours, and has been a revelation of sorts, for that my spirit food is a popcorn has now been established..not because I like it, but because my body has undergone pretty much the same reaction as does a corn kernel when subjected to atrocious heat. 

Frazzled hair that feels like beehive in distress, skin tanned to a crisp rotisserie.    face undergone a bronze reddening, which will start shedding skin in the most unbecoming manner, and tan lines of the worst sort. There's still a week left in this Thai summer and I shudder to think what my body is going to do next. 

Ah, but that's all a lot of silly complaints. 

The sights seen were gorgeous to say the least. 

'Emerald Buddha temple and Grand Palace' were indeed a sight to behold. 

Oh dear, we had us a selfie stick (yikes) 

Ah well, into the room then..

and pssst..I've been trolling the interwebs to find us a good ladyboy cabaret show and couldn't find any that was available.

So what does one do? One strolls nonchalantly to the hotel concierge and asks them for suggestion on a good ladyboys show, much to muted laughter and wide eyes of the flabbergasted and inwardly laughing hotel management.  

One keeps standing with a poker face, and waits, taps fingers on their table looking every bit serious until they realize you're not actually joking. 

That's when the concierge makes a few quick phone calls and finds a good show at an elevated rate. 

One haggles until they've reduced the rates to almost 1/2 of previously mentioned, and then one gets a booking for a ladyboy cabaret. 

I might not show my face at this hotel again, but goddamn one's gotta be thick skinned about things. 

Ok, one thing I absolutely love about Thai snacks and Thai drinks are these ice cold juice bottles, sold every nook and corner. They look pretty hygenic and taste blizzard level chill..just the kind of coolant you need to shove into your system every couple hours. This heat will dehydrate you, and I'm not the one for tropical weather, but by the gods am I gorging on their exotic fruits..

More about Thai fruits, food and such later. 

Quickie

Might have been the hottest day of the century or something, and this was the one wonderous day we picked up for soaking in a bit of Thai cultural heritage?

Subtelty is obviously not a strong point. 

If it's not golden, it's very golden. Exquisitely beautiful though.

Ah, it's hot. And we've taken shelter under the shade of a random resting place, as I quickly write this down, while friend thinks it's a great idea to click me in this vulnerable state..for I'm tired, sweaty, and disheveled.

And oh, there was a dress code to attending this temple/palace. Decorious dressed. That is to say, no short sleeveless clothes.