Nightly shivers

Nighttime and the sleep is eclipsed
by a sensation
of nerve cells going berserk
shooting shudders from spine to loins
a quickening heartbeat
escaped moan
Phantom pleasures
that you've sewn
like a tapestry
permanent in residue
lingering convulsions
jolting and quaking
eyes half closed
fingers enclosed
within folds
reliving a touch
under every follicle
that still quivers
with breaths
when unwelcome nights
penetrate my room
drawing shadows under thin lights
that echo an afternoon

Chillies

Dried red chilies option 2
The lighting isn't all that but these are another kind and I'll make another last option that'll be the third with a different kind of more conventionally longer usual chillies.
Hopefully these will serve as a good banner for the site that I mean to tweak and change a little.

Fang it up

To binge or not to binge that is the question when I have ten different kinds of work looming over my head and I'm already on the fifth Castlevania episode and why on earth can't this be an endless supply of vampire goodness or badness however one thinks it.
It's after all halloween today; absolutely culturally irrelevant day for me and yet there were kids dressed up as skeletons and what not asking for candies celebrating Halloween in Shanghai and how is it relevant a festival in this country is beyond me because they couldn't give a rats ass about this festival either and I have thoroughly deviated from my initial question that is of binge watching while there's work afoot!

Right off to work then and come to think of it the kids celebrating Halloween were from that strata of citizenry that doesn't call themselves masses.. so I guess they like to appropriate everything international.
Well how do I care except I did buy dozens of marshmallows and candies to give away and now my stash dwindles.

Running man

I don't know how they do it! this one man I see running everyday. His mouth covered with a mask, a small backpack tied to his shoulders, a fat watch wobbling on his wrist and he maintaining an even pace of fast jog for hours an end.
I say hours an end because when I grudgingly go running, my set 6km run in the morning with no watches and no backpacks save a small bottle of water tucked in a convenient water bottle pocket on the side of my leggings I see the unfettered man already sweating without losing his pace, running like his life depended on it and when I'm done almost 25 minutes later there he is still going strong and continually running while I'm ready to splatter into a mass of lovely ectoplasm on the sidewalk.
We often cross paths, because we are living in one big continuations of a venn diagram and his unfaltering gaze looks straight ahead at an invisible moment of reckoning, his personal rapture while I double guess myself, asking if all this is really even worth it.
Running is such a personal exercise and experience. Some people are addicted to it like cocaine, the man I see each morning probably falls in the advanced addiction group and for some people like me it's still a mystery.
Somehow and don't quote me on it I fail to enjoy it as much as I've heard runners enjoying almost venerating it because it's boring. There I said it. Running is mighty boring for likes of me and perhaps it would be more fun if I've an audiobook playing on my headphones but I'm not the person to wear headphones or any distraction while out on the streets.
No sir not me not in a million years.
I need me senses alive and awake and headphone does exactly everything to subdue all that I need alert.
So headphones is out of equation and so is talking because the only way you can make conversation while running is when you're not running but walking but say this to someone who runs and they stare daggers at me as if I've besmirched the holy name of the exercise and declare me heathen for calling this most revered occupation boring.

It's only a couple days in a week when I find myself donning my running shoes and seeing how I don't do it for a very long time just under half an hour I'm fine with it.
I'd rather Pilates and weights and squats and jumps than run but that's just me because I've seen people making faces at the mention of lifting but by no means do I declare them heathen even though I judge them just a little in the privacy of my mind and ignore their refusal to consecrate strength training silently.

Mealy

Dinnah pic..the usual but different and there's rice too if someone's interested that is.

On the cross

How does one not binge watch Castlevania?
I mean I've to cook dinner and I can't seem to pry myself away fro one episode to the next.
I think I'll continue watching the rest in the kitchen while slowly stirring rajmah gravy and rolling roti's.

Smirk and sigh

How easy was life during the age of ignorance.
Every thing was excellent.
Now it's all just nice or alright.

Rat a tat a cat

Fur coat and gem eyes
batman ears
reproachful glances
moustache on moustache
not pleased no lies

Tidbits

The crick in my neck begins snaking it's tentacles into my head and I immediately get up leaving my drawing midway to be finished tomorrow.
The vpn situation isn't sorted yet and I'm missing out on precious work and there's no point complaining or getting upset over it so now all I can do is shrug and carry on.

There was a milk frothier I'd ordered the other day that turned to be a dud, in that it didn't work and seems like I got a bad product.
So I complained to the vendor and he asked me to send a video of it.
I never thought I'd see the day when I'd make a video showing how the milk frothier even after inserting batteries doesn't do the thing it says on the box and thusly satisfying the vendors curiosity he asked me to ship it back and make no payments on the shipment because he'd be doing it.
Rather gallant of him I thought and now I hope to soon receive one that works.

Meal it

For when your meal is absolutely generic a bit of embellishment is in order.
Vegetables and mushroom scrambled eggs smattered with emmental and triangular toast for visual joy.

Looking for graves to dance on

There happens to be an international import expo happening here for which most vpn activities have been blocked and thusly I stay on the verge of nervous breakdown having only one vpn with limited abilities to work with which is installed on only one machine because I didn't seem to like it enough to have it on all three machines.
So now?
Well, I don't know except maybe grin and bear it and work around this madness.
Currently trying to install it everywhere but it might not be successful because vpn's come with their own set of demons and limitations, even though I access this through a device installed in my house, it still has certain parameters one can't get through and most certainly needs an application that can't be downloaded without a vpn.
I'm trying to install it everywhere through iTunes but we'll know about that when it happens.
I don't know if I'm pissed more than sad or what?
My emotions are all over the place.
Tuesday is it?
Hah..I should have guessed.
Blast you!

Cook life

If I were lady Macbeth i'd be washing off real turmeric stains on my hands instead of imaginary blood ones.

X tree

People have already begun buying Christmas tree's.
This must be the third X-mas tree delivery I must have seen today.

Some people like to decorate it well in advance, like a couple weeks ahead and perhaps I'll take look see into their houses, at least a couple people who won't report me to the police that is.

What on earth?

I thought it would be a week full of food photo's

Browsing blenders

Every few months for reasons I know best I trawl the interwebs for a vitamix blender and never buy it simply because I really don't know why.
It's one of those things I absolutely need but never seem to want and the thing is I really honestly need it. Oh god yes I do but I'm not buying it. Oh I'm not!

Fruit folly

I cannot abide by the idea of eating a ripe persimmon.
Just can't get over its visual appeal of an overripe tomato even though it tastes like nectar processed in heaven I cannot!

Deep breath

Who me?
Busy as hell and annoyed at what some people think of as peccadilloes but I consider as offensively serious mistakes that waste my time and pause plans in motion and it sends me fuming to the point that perhaps I could be tempted to do a bit of brutality.

Gah!!!

The Vpn isn't working and immediately I find myself unable to access emails, whatsapp and send as much as a small message regarding something important to someone who's waiting for a conformation e mail.
Yay!!
Life can suck hard without letting you orgasm.

Reassuring foods

Old favourites, familiar comforts.
Spice soused vegetable Upma with all the fixings for lazy Monday munches.

Lights up

There are lamps that need flying and nights that need dying.

Lord oh lord

Dear god
Listen to my prayers and do the needful.
Thanks, here are some incense to brighten up your day.

Sighs

Oh darling
What the fuck
does the moon remind me of you?

Health wise

Well, today has been rather productive.

Blessings

Prostrated

Beached

The room with a view

Night hearts

so it's night
here I am
in a different city
under an unknown ceiling
blinking at a strange light

Of this and that

It's not six yet and I've dined and in these few moments of relaxed unwinding there's a small cup of tea in my hands and I slowly recollect and mentally calculate all that needs to be done before getting out for the weekend and by the heavens there's an absolutely orrible South Indian movie playing on television and dear gods this movie revolves around the oddest issues and somehow most of these movies digress from their main plot and wind up someplace else and all you can do is scratch your heads.
People are slaughtered throughout without any repercussions; murder, mayhem and violation of every law every way possible without anyone as much as raising an eyebrow hair.
The actors are superheroes and the heroines are usually just present to woo men, land them in trouble or get rescued and the villains are short order sopranos.
Humph.

:)

keep the food pics comin' darling. The potato isn't doing half bad a job I'd say.

Brunch ahoy!

Solitary brunch of mung bean sprout salad, cinnamon spiced soy milk and uh..ahem..leftover pizza slices because I mean you need carbs and well, I did an excruciating hour of Pilates that stretched for an hour and uh..it's umm..alright.

To do’s

Friday and I have not the luxury I revelled in yesterday not least because I'm busy with preparations for today evening seeing how we are leaving for a nearby seaside town which is about a five hour drive away for the weekend.
Ah weekend and I might be freezing on a beach but what of it?
Right, there's a bit of work involved what with meal prep for the travel and cleaning the house for when I'll be away because I'd not want to face the horrors of an unkempt house when I return back home Sunday evening.
Onwards and upwards then.

old habits

I'd willingly be a fish
if sleep had a bait
staring at the ceiling
waiting for dawn to break

The tickles

you know that cloud with the silver lining
crunches beneath my feet
atop a tuft of fluff
is currently my seat
that's where darling
your incredible words
have transported me.

Flings fists at skies

Thursday and there's been a wee rebellion against eating the usual fare that is daal, subzi, roti and rice. I mean this is as regular as food can get and yet by the fourth day of the week I'm asked to keep away from the regular.
This isn't the weekend when I usually make culinary delights from all over the world but a weekday which translates to eat proper food, but No!

I hold my hands and shrug my shoulders and give a little 'do whatever you want' nod and that's about it from me regarding tonight's menu.

Old hurts

Who me?
Oh just stretching my neck because goddamit it's annoying how painful drawing sometimes can be.
I'm in the market for a nice easel and perhaps this time around when I go to buy art supplies I'll come back with one because this dilemma I caught from three years ago tends to rear is ugly head every now and then and the only way to keep it at bay is by not drawing and how on earth am I to accomplish that? Not sure if I even want to in the first place.

dried red chillies

and lo!

Yes, it was Contest and no I'd not want an unfinished trilogy or any such because the pain is unbearable.

The sad part is that I can't find its audiobook on my go-to audiobook site.
Might have to look for some other source.

audiobook shenanigans

I'm currently downloading two audiobooks.
One is Artemis Fowl so kindly recommended by thee and the other is The kingkiller chronicles read by Rupert Degas as especially emphasized by a fellow audiobook enthusiast who pestered me to download it and give it a listen.

As these two are downloading I think about the previous few recommendations and there was one which had something to do with an arena or a game or something similar which I was about to download but got distracted by Red Country instead. I cannot for the life of me remember that name and It'd looked oh so interesting right then.

Please let me know and update. :)

when is winter coming?

From what I know Jon Snow is still dead.

Providence provides

Today's activities have gotten late, I agree, but my lord it's only because I wallow in my rest day and there are no chores lined up for today that haven't already been accomplished.

This morning wouldn't be what it is today had it not been for the glass of wine from last night which somehow my body demanded and I supplied, and that bit of wine had me sleeping much before the usual time simply because I've been sustaining on lesser than average amounts of sleep since Monday as is my wont seeing how sleep isn't my best of friends, but every week there comes a day when I'm knocked out cold almost after ten and wake up like a giant refreshed earlier than usual, which is exactly what happened.
In fact I near flung my sheets and pioneered a march to the kitchen and there I was mopping the floors by seven, almost an hour before schedule so much so that I found myself lying in bed for a few short moments before finishing with laundry.

So how did today's activities get late?
Well, because once I was free, I didn't rush to get done with the usual lemon water, tea and egg agenda before work out because there is none today and so I let the morning wash over me as I relaxed on the couch with the cat propped on my chest supplying sufficient warmth while I replied to e mails and messages.
Ah, this is the kind of life I could reckon with.

And so, gingerly, almost with a languorous spring to my step my day found itself oozingly unwind and how I love these rare relaxed days..add to that the comfort of knowing that lunch shall be leftovers.
Sure I've plenty work lined up for the afternoon but it's not urgent and hardly tedious and so I say this Thursday looks good.

Sly stance

Why do I find myself lying in bed
Scrolling smiling
reading you?

:/:

Oh darling
Why the fuck
do you live in my head?

Aniseedy

Liquorice why do I love thee?

Burn baby burn

Have you gulped too quick a too hot sip of water?
It slides down the throat scalding everything in its path. It near feels like it'll boil your heart.

Smiley face

Look at all these audiobook recommendations!
I think I shall have to download them from my go to audiobook site simply because I can't trust Vpn to keep running YouTube seamlessly and we can't have any interruptions can we?

I'm spooky for choices and perhaps I'd like to go with Artemis fowl simply because it comes so highly recommended.

Curiosity kissed the cat

What do you do? Asked the cat
This and that, I tell him.

Eat drink

Sometimes all you really want to do is drink a meal

Animastalgia

This is where it all started, my first love, my first anime I ever watched, no bigger than a foetus, this anime used to come on start tv I think and thankfully at my designated television viewing time as appointed by my parents.
I've never done my homework quicker.

In the mornings

Wednesday today
Which means I'll have someone here shortly to do a bit of housekeeping and that means no workout which is alright, I need rest too and usually during these days I haul myself from the bed and into the world to do a spot of running but what happened today?
I'll tell you, winter has come and I got lazy.

It's not that each day as the clock strikes five I am ready to launch myself out of bed. No, quite the contrary in fact, but I still try and succeed except today when I neither tried nor succeeded, instead planking myself on the bed prostrate and getting another hour of sleep until it was almost six and the prospects of usual morning routine began needling me.
Almost three hours since I've been awake and not a moment of peace.
It's like everything begins disarranging itself every day. Something like woollen balls that unfastens by the end of each day and every morning you've got to wind it back into a ball.
I'm trying and doing what I can and not always as well as I'd hoped but that's alright and yes the agenda looks a bit tight today, there are pictures to take and things to move forward with and I might not have all the time in the world but it's enough to get by.

Thee

I've been thinking
all night
of your soft mouth
went I went exploring
gratuitously warm
silken
the molten breath
velvety
playing on the tip
of my tongue
as it went exploring
me
the tip of your tongue
satin
went it entered
chiffon secret recesses
a slick mousse
of airy flicks
darting
with soft firmness
feeding

Needs

In the mood to eat something creamy and fluffy and sweet like a cream filled soft bun.

Heart fragments and downdates

Almost time to fix dinner and I feel a sense of accomplishment weaving through me if I ignore a few other things still pending on the side that is.
Finally finished the ongoing audiobook that is or rather was 'red country' with a drawing that is unfinished but I'm optimistic and loved every word thrown at me written by Joe Abercrombie read by Stephen Pacey.
Perhaps a couple more days and I will be done with the drawing but will immediately begin with a couple more and get them over with to Jim Butcher's Dresden.
Also I'm in the market for new listens and each time I wonder about this I'm compelled to ask aloud about the new GoT book and shake my head in disappointment cuz damn it I need to know stuff.

Ah, evening pulls in bringing a sense of despondency and questions that are easily averted with a few clever refreshes and mindless surfing.

The thing about missing is that it gets better when you're seething with anger which I seem to still nurse but only because it makes the fondness sweeter.

A little bit of this a little bit of that..

I know I know another meal with noodles but that's only because in a fit of overzealous greediness I picked a couple handfuls too many of freshly cut noodles from the noodle shop and realized they were a bit extra and have been cooking them since.
Indeed I have a small serving still knocking about in the fridge and perhaps they shall be utilised in the coming days as well and yes I don't know how to feel about eating them every morning after work out especially because these aren't my usual buckwheat or brown rice or mung bean thread noodles but the actual bouncy, chewy deliciously filling wheat flour noodles that maketh the real deal and I don't feel guilty about eating them, not a bit even though they are a fully loaded gluten and carbs and what not and yet I'm here still alive.
How did that get to be?

µµ

So it's deal with my insecurities o clock and I usually like some coffee to go with. 

Working days

HIIT for when you invoke torture and hope for death.
For when vanity takes a backseat and sweat cakes your every organ. Because why workout when you can work the fuck out.
Fun..

Bite sized Tuesday

It's these fifteen minutes of solitude that define my day each morning.
That time when I solemnly clutch my mug of warm lemon water and a cup of tea.
If I have these little moments to myself I know the day will be not as horrible as it'd want to be.
Yes Tuesday, I address you.
Come to me.
I have my arms open ready to embrace though you can't see the little edges of tiny saw like teeth poking out from under my jacket, for they are my skin teeth, ready to rip you apart when you threaten with ominous forebodings.
Until then, let's live and let live.

Say it ain’t so

Why does it get on my nerves when people say things like 'plant milk'?
I mean what is it even?
Almond, soy, rice, oat milk is not even milk. It's really just white water.
Actually that's what I'm calling it from now on .
I've got soy white water to make.
I really do :(

Heroic chic

My only gripe with Jessica Jones is that she does all these actions scenes and never ever ties her hair.
Any woman with long hair knows it's highly highly impractical to do anything even remotely strenuous with untied hair, flying about all over the face.
They're the most annoying, distressing and bothersome organ during workouts and perhaps that's the reason why these women are superheroes because they can go about spiralling through space, rubbing the bad guys' faces in the dirt, perform somersaults and not once feel the need to get a rubber band and put their hair in a braid or bun.

Cycle in a square

The thing with slapdash sleep is the dreams are similarly half hearted.
Case in point my sleep from last night which seemed to be marred by some reason and the ensuing dreams that had me reading a rather large book full of typos .
Imagine reading a line like this 'he wen tfar and wi dein distan tlands.'
The entire night my dreams were an imax projection of a crappy novella with horrid typos and I kept reading through them and kept telling myself in that dream that it's just a dream.
Oh to wake up tired and realize the bed has developed fangs for it refused to let go off me, sinking its warmth deep into my shoulder blades, wrenching out yawns and pandiculations and drinking on my energy and to think I've to do this all week, add to that the non stop rains which have drained the weather of all colour and ever since morning I've had to keep the lights switched on to avoid accidents from toppling over a couch.
Yes, it's that dark. Afternoon and mid night are similar hues and I'm beginning to feel the hatred boiling.
But I'll stick on a smile and say nothing.

Fast forward

What today?
Got spectacularly busy and I now that I'm free the ominous timings of dinner creeps closer and I'm not in the mood but then what has mood got anything to do with anything?

Monday meal

I realize my lunch timings have gotten a bit awkward seeing it's well past one and I should've eaten sometime around noon .
I blame winters and my need to blame something.
What I have here in this bowl of red deliciousness is a broth full of seafood and vegetables soused with gochujang and fish sauce to give some oomph with the umami drowning some springy fresh noodles and it is spicy in a way that my throat feels serrated in a good way.

Preps

In the mood for sea creatures

Just awful

Sunday is for groceries :(

DD and some

Ah Daredevil!

I didn't like it.

I've mentioned somewhere in my archives around the same time as I'd finished the second season of daredevil that somehow it just didn't do it for me.
The violence was pretty, the blood prettier and the actions glossy.
Superhero series just don't do it for me unless they're anime or cartoon like the batman ones because somehow for me the live action series are unable to capture the essence of neither sci-fi nor superheroes and I tend to get a bit bored because often the story line feels a bit lengthy and uh, daredevil isn't exactly my favourite superhero either.
The first season was good and well, that's about it for me.

I do however have some anime series updates to give because believe it or not I've watched a few good ones recently but none better than the last seriously excellent one that I watched which was Planetes and it's been almost two years since that.
Sure I liked castlevania but it's not entirely very Anime in soul the way anime's proper are and yes I wait with breath that's bated for the second season.

Right, onwards and upwards.

:(

Are my messages going? I wonder because this might be the fifth time I've sent a the same post and it won't reach .
How many time does have to clutch at their hair?

?

Three posts are stuck in ether and I know not how to have them posted for they've been sent from my side you see.

T’day

Side eye

And now

Live up the fads

And all of a sudden everything that was once good for us is now bad.
I'm looking at you quinoa, hijacking every other grain to establish yourself as the only chaste goodness, but then again it's not your fault is it?
It's the growing fads and health industries to blame.
What's the point of eating something that does not even grow locally?
Why should we eat something that has travelled thousands of kilometres just because everything else is perpetrated as unhealthy or gluten or fattening or low nutrition.
Is food only about nutrition?
There's a certain happiness to eating and life and these new fangled crops promoted as health food have now taken over the kitchens when in fact the humble quinoa was only meant to serve it's own population.

There isn't a point to eating something that doesn't come naturally to your local soil, moreover it's just a way of popularising a good product for profit.

I mean yes of course one could eat it as a way of deviating from the usual menu for a change, but making it a staple diet is useless, as is consuming anything that ain't found seasonally.

I hate that white rice has been given such a bad rep to the point that people begin to shudder when I suggest someone fried rice as a post workout meal and ask me to give them a quinoa recipe instead and it bothers me.

It bothers me too when I find someone has given up on sugar only to thrive on stevia leaves because obviously they've no sense of taste do they?

night time stink eye

So I stumble back into my casa sometime shortly before midnight and realize with all the hate of the gods that I'm hungry.

This happened last night and somehow I'm still angered about it.

yes there was a huge party and yes I had fun and no I didn't much drink and the only saving grace  was the fact that my makeup hadn't budged a bit, so much so that when I stood in the washroom ready to take the war paint off I realized that my face looked pretty much the same as when I'd left over seven hours ago and in fact I toyed with the idea of ringing a friend and hitting a club, but better sense prevailed and I found myself getting annoyed again at the thought of having been to such a niche event with an after party with a VIP pass for an entire week and finding no food.

there were drinks, yes and that was nice but there was nothing to eat if you discount the miniscule cubes of artisan cheese, chips and olives. Come on!!
Who serves that at an event at dinner time after unabashedly printing hors-d'oeuvre on the invite?

Sure I could behave like some of the guests who piled these foods on their plates and made a meal out of it but I don't do desperate.

Goddamit!

I was so upset what with so many things mounting up to form a mega heap of a god awful day that I did nothing save drink a large glass of water and sleep, followed by a lengthy workout and never ending shower.

Yes, I"m better now but I'm still upset and what of it?

just bloody wow!

You know what's annoying?
I'll tell you what's annoying. Pulling out clothes from the drier and realizing not one pair of the three pairs of socks are complete.
Now I have three lonely socks' knocking about somewhere in the washer with their dried counterparts eagerly waiting to be united.

I rage laundried today because a few things in the past few days have deeply upset me and let's not get there. 

Noodling heart

For moments when only nutrition will do.
Buckwheat noodles with vegetables and eggs doused with a thick velvety sesame and peanut sauce.

Lunch love

Chicken sandwich and baked potato wedges because sometimes only a sandwich will do.

Youmisery

Something is definitely up with YouTube today.
It won't load all of a sudden and no the problem isn't with my internet nor server because every other website is opening fine, all with the exception of YouTube which keeps showing an error on all my devices despite every other part of internet working to its full potential.

Punctuality plus plus

There's a universe and I'm sure I'll find it someday where 9 'o' clock means 8:45.

Case in point my overzealous and exceptionally friendly and efficient ayi who very kindly lends her help in cleaning my domus every Wednesday and she has been slowly preponing her timings to the point that now she has started reaching my home fifteen minutes prior to the decided time and even though I'm not complaining this does lead to a few complications.
The last time when she had reached similarly early I was still in my bath, rinsing my hair when the door bell rang and there was only so much I could before slapping a bathrobe about my person and toweling my limbs, shampoo still stuck in my hair and a beaming ayi on the door step.

I have no problems with her arriving early in fact I welcome it because that'll make me free a lot earlier thus giving me ample time to carry on with activities that I am unable to partake in on Wednesday's like working out .

I end up gong for a run in the morning (blast it) because there won't be any exercising that day and the situations becomes a little less affable with the approach of winters.

Right, so morning and the sounds of vacuum drown the melodious Raaga's playing in the background.

gah

No sooner had I raved about the dulcet weather, it turned cloudy with fat droplets plopping over my cloth bag and I had to dive for the nearest awning and curse the weather gods even if a bit meekly.

It' like the weather stayed merry just so it could get a good stratospheric rating and then stuck its fangs and tongues in a mocking suggestion.

Mild it goes

I know, I know it's a Tuesday, but I'm out running some errands and it's pleasantly cold, the kind that makes you want to wear a light jacket and socks and the sunshine feels like a far off flickering flame, giving the sort of mellow heat that doesn't feel hot, light like a soft froth of dulcet warmth.
It's the kind of weather that urges you to go for long walks or sit in a park which is why it felt like just the right day to step out and get some work done which ain't high in priority but important still, because I'm not the one stepping out voluntarily on a brooding glum cloudy day which today hopes to not be.

Boxed

My sleep was in tatters because all night I kept dreaming of boxes.
Ones that were broken, unwrapped, mismatched, fancy and even ones that had to be fit into a jigsaw.
Kept waking up throughout and in fact I don't even think I slept much because I remember almost every toss last night.

To do

Nighttime and mentally I calculate tomorrow
things I have to think of
Food
Workout schedule
Laundry
Work
chores

—

That time of the night
When I fucking miss you

Rice rules

Is there an agenda revolving around white rice and propagating nonsense about how eating it will make you fat and obese?
This is nonsense I tell you, utter and complete nonsense spread by health food industry to have you buy their quinoa and what not.
White rice is the most harmless, versatile and easily digestible grain out there.
Do not believe anyone who says otherwise.

People

Weight is just a number
-fat people

Age is just a number
-old people

Raised eyebrows

I've been wondering why and there's been no answer forthcoming from my subconscious and that is why on earth did I dream myself to be in Pune, getting drenched in the rains with a friend whom I didn't know in real life.
Apparently our shoes got so wet that we went into a crocs shop (????) to buy shoes and I didn't like anything but my friend found a lot of pairs and she looked at me with confusion when I came out empty handed.
What on earth?

Monday meal

So here I was just about to post this food pic that was until I got a phone call and had to dash out immediately for a spot of work and now that I'm back I realize I never got around to posting it.
My lovely lunch composed of vegetables and eggs, topped with sunny cheddar and cracked black pepper.

Shudders

Being woken by a rather enthusiastic paw to my face in the early hours of the am by the cat for obvious reasons that he was hungry.
I tip toed to his food bowl to decant some chow and uttered a suppressed Yelp at seeing something disgusting lodged on his food bowl.
That thick mucus like congealed form that sluggishly moved a bit in his food bowl made my skin crawl.
A slug had found its way to my cats bowl for reasons unknown and there was only so much I didn't do to change continents.
What on earth??
It was barely five in the morning and I had not the constitution to deal with this nastiness.

To lift the bowl with tongs and fling it into the balcony was for me the work of moments and I spent a good five minutes contemplating my revulsion at that slimy creature of god that to me deserved nothing better than a good salting, but of course I'm not the one to commit such genocide and thusly I stayed mum and offered my cat another bowl to feed in which he happily obliged seeing how he's not too fussy about tableware as long as there's food in it.

I have since found the discarded food bowl free of any slugs and cleaned it.
The slug in question now sits pretty on the water bowl I keep for birds and I hope he's soon their food.

Aah

You have to make the same mistake at least thrice to remember not to make them again.

What’s happening

My whatsapp is live with notifications today because currently as I sit on my couch, nursing a mug of hot chocolate my cousin sister is getting engaged and the entire fam has descended down the city with a vengeance. Perhaps I'm the only one not present.

♥️

Oh darling
Why the fuck
do I love you so?

Cake hearts

Not too shabby

Frosting

Who me?
Filling a cake and hoping for the best.

Meringue

This isn't cream my darling but egg whites whipped into a frenzy of billowy white thick clouds.

Tempting

Pizzaz

Dinner tonight

Lines

Haha. Oh dear. I live for such humour .

Comic cogent

This began making little sense but as the comics unfolded so did the story and a few pages later the understanding regarding this entire scenario dawned.
This is mad sci-if.
It has philosophy entwined with robots with processing systems and warriors.
A bit of an odd kick but gripping nevertheless.

Jupiter lies

There was a Flash Gordon comic in which he and his friend visit another friend of theirs who lives on Jupiter and all the while they're there they've to wear a contraption around their waist that enables them to fly like the rest of the Jupiter citizens but once they wear it they're hurtled into atmosphere because it's designed according to X16 the gravitation pull and so after a few tweaks they're able to figure it out and as they're traipsing on that planet there's a coup and a whole plethora of wrong doings out of which they have to extract the Govt official and diplomats all the while fighting the gravitational handicap.
It made so much sense to me as a child and for the longest time I thought that perhaps that is how people on Jupiter lived that was until school and parents broke the mirage to cloud it with nonsensical realities.

isn't it just

Dear Diary

the irksome afternoon begins retreating leaving traces of banal sanity and set routine. I meander through the curves of today and silently dip into a vanilla pool of accustomed blah, tying an anchor around my feet to keep from surfacing on an impulse. 

stay away

The gossamer curtain
white and silver
flimsy and flamboyant
dangles silently
obstructing world
from my view
and I thank it
profusely

Skeletons alive

Rummaging through drawings to get them scanned I came across this piece which I'd drawn almost three years ago and for no reason other than to test the new Rendr paper for watercolour wash.
The paper I'd decided was fantastic for fine liners and ink but missed the mark when it came to watercolours because it absorbed the water far too quick for me to be able to work with it making the area patchy.
Moreover it somehow subdued the watercolours muting them all to a rather greyish tone and I had to revive the colours with another layer of watercolour pencils.
Nevertheless I persevered and ended up with this weirdness.
The mandala was solely done for the purpose of testing fine liners and the Phoenix for watercolours .

aural oomph

Why am I binge listening to this song?
It's beautiful and melodious and Spanish and soothing..perhaps that's why.

ooh yes

who me?
drinking hot chocolate because the weather demands it and I comply.
yes, it's homemade and I've tried to enhance the flavours voluptuously by creating a thick billowy body by beating the scant milk and adding hopelessly decadent bitter cacao with a heavy-handed sprinkle of vanilla sugar.
The right kind of insulation that autumn demands.

Friday needs

Old favourites that I often breathe new life into.
An almost ancient black dried chickpeas salad recipe that I got from my mom who in turn inherited it from her mother and it hasn't lost its charm.
Satisfying and delicious, nutritious and filling.

Shock and horror

Someone was chomping my arm, biting it down to the bone and pulling away the flesh and the hurt seared through me, my heart blew up with agony, the nerve endings on each muscle shooting excruciating torment. I was shuddering, opening my mouth to screech through the pain but I couldn't say a word.
My mouth wouldn't open, it was glued shut and my eyes saw darkness.
I had to bear the torture silently, with closed eyes and muffled mouth but I could feel my throat bleed from the pressure of wanting to shriek my life out and vent the misery but I was sealed; struggling in an attempt to be heard I tried in vain to be able to open my eyes but they refused to cooperate and I nearly gave up when I woke up.

I felt helpless at the thought of not being able to get out of a sleep paralysis and though my arm was intact I looked at my sheets and the struggle I had acted within.

What on earth?
I went back to sleep again and within moments the nightmare began wherefrom I'd left it.
Waking up again I slept propped against a pillow and no dreams disturbed me.
It was frightening and contemplative the thought of knowing the pain and not being able to get away from it.
Helplessness and the perils of being stuck inside a body that's being tortured.

Why does this happen?

Night nods

The air is thick with half hearted sleep
and full bodied needs
perched atop a singular dream
In that perhaps we'd meet
and let our moans speak

No place for nice

Respect is an expensive commodity which is why you end up earning it, politeness on the other hand is free and yet it has no takers. :(

;-!

I don't even know why I'm having a back and forth with an ancient friend on e-mails about tea.
It's almost become a discourse. And to think we were only discussing how things taste different in different weathers.

cake conundrum

An overwhelming fear of not having enough food I over cater instead of under and now that there's a celebration cake on my mind for an upcoming anniversary I wonder exactly how large should it be to have enough to eat at home and give away to friends.

music kill noise

This is so insidiously good. heavy and melodic with a modern edge and retro twang that is reminiscent of all that was good in music. The guitar riffs intertwined with silken vocals is just the perfect cushion for drowning out construction noises created by an overzealous downstairs neighbour 

heart

Oh darling
why the fuck
are you
such a doll?

discrepancies

Sometimes I want it all.
Perfect skin, hair, nails, lips and body.
I want it so bad I think of nothing else but
Sometimes when it's late night
I'm sitting in my pyjamas
in my sweatshirt
Hair in a messy bun
I think fuck it!
I don't care. Too much hassle.

But then I work out like a demon the next morning.

ƒ¨ç˚

Our irretrievable love stemsfrom our (un)fortunate fate
that of never having
lived together. 

same

Overhyped and trivial
iOS update and life. 

molecular smiles

Afternoon and the cold has begun to settle in and I wish to hurtle curses at the world out for no other reason except that there's a need within to annoy or ruin something no matter how ugly it already is.
It could be said the advent of insanity slowly drips in but my lord I am in fact the last person who'd go insane, in that, trivialities of life do not bother me nor do such feelings of dissatisfaction with self and others because I have seen them before and lived on to type this post, but thoughts are not bound by a structure and sometimes they come in a riot of violent circus with needs and feels so aggressively savage so as to almost tarnish a good heart, but thoughts are after all just that and they tend to knock about in the empty space above shoulders to dissipate and perish that is until one doesn't keep latching on to them repeatedly, birthing more potent speculations and blowing them up to an infinite proportion so as to only ever stay clouded in that fug of desperation and finally commit something vile and unrestrained; those are passions ungovernable and these singular thoughts of wanting to throw a brick over a neighbours shoulders hardly ever compete.

Back to basics

Back to reality that is of post work out meals and fried rice, my favourite meal of choice when it's just me.
Tofu, vegetables and familiar flavours help me reconcile with all that I've going here.

Lights out

Odd it is how every morning I question how will I ever get through this day and ask the same of night and get through each cycle the usual way. Breathing in, exhaling out.
It's not that difficult.
Life isn't that big a deal but living is and isn't that what it's all about?

Night needs

Oh darling
Why the fuck
are my nights
not spent
under you?

More is more

The more I hear and know about self-important minimalism the more I want to do the exact opposite. Not that I'm into cluttering, in fact exactly the opposite, there isn't a singular thing in this domus that goes unused and that's exactly my point.
I use a plethora of different gadgets and other things to make my life here as smooth and celebratory as possible, so when I heard about a woman talking about having no use for vacuum cleaner or single use kitchen gadgets like coffee machines, ice cream machines etc and found housing different glasses and crockeries for different drinking and eating purposes useless I found myself reeling in my socks because why would I ever want to drink wine out of tea cup or beer out of coffee mug?
She went on to say and explain how things like having too many bedsheets and pretty looking showpieces was absurd and that guests don't need sofas or couches to sit on because cushions on the floor are more than enough and everything else she spoke after that sounded like blasphemy, heresy that my ears could hear no more and she was going on about shoes and clothes and how she and her husband shared most clothes and they needed nothing except a few neutral pairs of black and whites that fit into a capsule wardrobe and by this point I had already torn my hair out, wondering how I could absolve myself from the sin of having watched so blandly a smug spiel of holier than thou admittance that I'm now trawling taobao looking for a new set of glasses for drinking sparkling water as a way of atonement.

Bang bang

Great love is one thing and great lovers is another and I'm all for the former but I'd rather the latter.

Oddities

Maybe it's the weather or perhaps my mood but I feel like I could binge watch sex and the city for the tenth time all over again.

the cat of living

Today's agenda includes facepalming at my own idiocies.

There's work as usual and I look at my siesta loving cat living his life so unlike mine and it makes me want to do the exact same things as him except I don't feel sleepy in afternoons and naps are an anathema but wouldn't I absolutely love to curl around myself with a book and blank thoughts instead of going about some rather insipid work?
I think I would, but there's work afoot and maybe once I'm done (which is never) I can echo my cat's activities.

Thee

आज सुबह आपका ख़याल जो आया मन महकने सा लगा

With ginger

The weather has gotten colder and tea tastes better.

Morning notes

A beautiful morning this to stay swaddled in blankets and live on the bed with deep sleep and wrinkled dreams housed between eyes and tousled hair framed on the head, except that's only a thought most belligerent when winters strike which they have with élan and flicking off sheets with nary a worry in the morning seems like an unattainable agenda which must be pursued with reluctance.

Autumnal leaves have begun doing that thing it says on the box, turning a rich color of rust soon to carpet every path with their bronzed crunch and it breaks my heart to see leaves shimmying away to nothing.
Cloaked in thick ensemble of lackluster greenery, the trees will soon stand naked; their branches twisting upward writhing to kiss the sky and toasty beds will be a nightmare to scrape out of, but more of that anon.

Today promises to be a bit dull if hopeful and the rush of activity that this Wednesday seems to be choking on are happening languorously.

Hoarding

My holy grail skin care brand Deceim is shutting down until further notice and I'm stocking up on my favourite acids.
Whee..shopping spree here we go.

Futile fads

Skintertainment is a phenomenon as ridiculous as it can be and yet here I am, trawling the interwebs for a nice batman sheet mask.

Applause

Fried wasps!
Now that's a great way to rid ourselves of those vindictive bastards!

Jailbird

A dacoit gets caught
Is put in the prison, but of course he escapes stealthily at night by bending the prison bars and breaking them.
It was Rajnikanth in a very old school D grade movie just as all his movies are but no one's going to admit all his movies are shit.

Cuteness heavens

Thee

My nucleus
Issues a trigger warning
Every time I read your prose

˚∆∆

Life felt so much simpler before I fell in love. 

vacancy

Is it sad
to have picture frames
intricate wooden framed,
white pastel minimal
crystal studded
delicate silver embroidered
with no pictures in them?

us all

Currently following up on the various sexual allegations happening back home and still constantly amazed as to how so many people have been getting away with so much and in fact, this is just the weed that's beginning to prune. I'm waiting for some larger than life name droppings and hope/wish that so many well-known faces and voices stop being politically correct about things that are so blatantly obvious.
It's been so long since a controversy proper and scandals are so much fun.

ø

My ennui peaking
My conscience leaking
My hair fabulous 

today

I went out
bought milk
came back
and wondered
at everything

Night tide

Nighttime and the lips seek your name
with a nefarious purpose
to whisper while drawing a breath
in for a kiss
Blowing gently
on two luscious vowels

(:)

Say one thing about life say it sucks and gives no pleasure

Question and answers

Found this stuck on the refrigerator on my brother's home.
The answer to all the questions that is what to cook for lunch/dinner.
The premises of this chart is that one can cook whatever they want to for meals but if my younger sibling is asked the age old question then this chart is to be referred to because he can't be bothered with wrestling with the toughest question known to mankind.

Old things

Got an e-mail from a long lost friend telling me about his visit to the Ol' campus and meeting up with the paanwalah who ran a generous tab on us smokers and interestingly he asked about me.
Hah!

Bandwidth

The thing about fitness bands is they are sneaky in that they begin controlling your life and you don't even realize it.
I had begun a sort of formal relationship with an earlier version of MI band and though I didn't think of myself as one of those people who cared much about such fads I slowly found myself getting sucked into the sensation and found myself strapping it on the first thing on waking up each morning.

With the ease of vibration upon notifications came the comfort of knowing your heartbeats, calories burnt and step counted and slowly, unknowingly it escalated to a point when I would begin freaking out on finding myself running behind on the everyday step count I'd set which was 10k.

I'd absolutely disregarded my slowly growing fanaticism at always staring at my wrist and figuring out how many steps I'd taken during workouts and in fact usually increased my cardio just to maintain my daily step count.

What began as a somewhat reluctant formality of having a fitness band slowly turned into an obsession to the point I undertook long excursions and hikes and what not to double or even triple the step count just to feel better, a some sort of smugness I could justify to myself at that time and delighted myself in seeing the daily graph of steps taken, stupidly freaking out on days there was a dip.

One day I mistakenly deleted the app and on reinstalling it realized I'd forgotten the password and though it didn't deter me from wearing it everyday I soon identified my growing fixation with the band that I barely ever used to even know the time and one day when I went out for a run in the evening on realising my daily step count was way behind did I realize that I had a problem and stopped charging it that day onwards.

Having said that I did enjoy wearing it and maybe some day when I know I'm mature enough to know it as a fitness band I'd definitely love to try it on again.

!’

Say one thing about nights say they are convoluted.

Misses

Oh darling
Why the fuck
are you so tempting?

Humph

Dear Diary

I feel at a loss as to what I'm supposed to do with myself today.
It's almost evening now and just a day earlier this was a raging afternoon when I sat with a blunt in hand, colours in my head and now I sit with thoughts of the same.
Having retrieved my third instalment of laundry from the drier I now question my part in this life and wonder if I start questioning things all too soon and if there's a sense of entitlement I hide within.
Still a part of the couch I've yet to clear the table addled with groceries and my head of the web of reminiscences that seem to wash over everything I decide.
I'm not one for nostalgia but I am one for memories and the problem with wonderful memories is that they make everything mundane pale to an unlikely prospect depleting each moment of blandness into a tragedy which never matches up to those grandiose moments of joy.
These are of course withdrawals and perhaps in a day or two I'll be fine.
Now all I gotta do is find that silver lining.

Getting used

Acclimatisation.
That's exactly what I'm doing on the couch while throwing a cursory glance around the house seeing how almost everything is done except my shower and a cup of coffee.
And the table is indeed full of groceries that need settling down into the kitchen but that can be done once I'm done.

Oh oh oh

Who me?
Guilty of having ordered vegetables on an app and receiving them ten minutes later because There's a lot going on right now and to say that I'm in no mood to go shopping for vegetables would be an understatement most severe because wild horses wouldn't drag me away from the unpacking mess I seem to have unearthed.
Oh the clothes for laundry that pend from the time before I left, oh the empty refrigerator accusingly staring at me smirking at my overzealous need to empty it before travel, oh the bedsheets and bedcovers lying dormant and my heart aching to change them, oh the madness that is right now.

Mood trough

Afternoon now and I'm ambushed by déjà vu's courtesy this weather which reminds me of a very particular time which is windy autumn and how often I've been through this season in different places at different times.

This perhaps is my absolute favourite time of the year when it's sunny and cool, the breezes moody in their crispness altering between pleasant and sudden gusts of frigid waves.
Somehow it also leaves me feeling at odds with myself, pushing me in a constant contemplation stasis where I feel like a surgeon glaring at a slab of past and present, ready to tear into a post-mortem frenzy, tugging and slicing at all that's gone and yet to be.
Whimsical even a bit sulky and sometimes joyous. Bipolar this feeling and the symbiotic thoughts feeding on its underbelly and I wonder at all that I have left behind me.

Ah

Hello darling.
I know you missed me my sweet thing as did I and now it's us against this boredom little sweetheart.

Sighs

And now here..
Just like that.
But I was just getting excited about my leaving for homeland and didn't I just get there while it rained and now I'm back here and it's raining still.
Don't know how yet I feel about it all.
A small lump of sad forms in my throat, my eyes seem to get wet and I miss all that I've left behind.
It takes moments to leave and days to get over.

Changes

Who me?
Just about to leave your time zone.

Mood

Today
I look forward
To hugging my cat

Food ughs

I have a sort of revulsion towards gatte in that that one specific dish has managed to turn me away from Rajasthan completely.

I have eaten them twice in my life and both times I've fallen obnoxiously ill the next day making gatte ki subzi a total NO NO for me in this life and next few hundred

Time

Airports fill me with a dread resulting in my always arriving early in order to be free with enough time to leisurely stroll through duty free and book stores with a languorous tea/coffee and get my nerves back in order to commit to a seven hour flight and usually no matter how timely I try to reach the lines end up sapping enough time to just stroll and walk towards boarding gate with a brisk walk.
Today however I have gotten away with everything viz check in, immigration and security check in one go resulting in having over an hour extra to while away and now I sit in a lounge with a coffee in hand and mixed feelings.

Bies

And so then I'm leaving

Nights

And so now I sleep
to wake up and leave

Argh-?

There's a show called नागिन on colors and no one's blinking an eyelid.

Doll

Oh darling
Why the fuck are you
so perfect?

Food food

I might have had some of the best indo Chinese food today in the comforts of my home thanks to modern marvels like swiggy et al.
I now feel like a barrel overstuffed to the gills ready to roll about.

::

If I could keep vibrating every bit of you I'd be so happy.

Ancient

Black and white movies fee like fossils and I can't bear to stare at them for more than five seconds.
Sorry fossils but you never needed my attention anyways

Death

Legendary af and Hell Boy feel oxymoronic.
Hopefully he isn't also a coffee lover.

—

Eminem's Venom is among the better things I brought back from the movie.

Apart from being a very very okay movie i didn't miss the national anthem.
:(

Kiss kiss

Purple coloured picturesque words that steal my heart and finger my soul.

Umm

Limp Bizkit's cover of Metallica's sanitarium was better than the original and uh..(walks with trepidation) behind blue eyes too

Useless

What are pants if they don't have pockets?

Movie, shopping and nothing

Morning and I rush to ready for a movie I've been told is only just a decent watch but even so..
The thing about morning shows is that well, they're in the morning and you've to be up early in order to make it in time, but then again it also mean you get free early for the rest of the day to do as you please and I think a bit of strolling about the mall to look and not buy is just what I'd like to do seeing how shopping for me is never on a whim but always a decided expedition.
Currently I have all that I need, bought new leather moccasins too so that pretty much takes care of all my needs leaving me with just a few wants and about those I can do nothing.

•<

Here and nowhere really
it's hot
I'm beat
close yet far

Hell yeah

Whaddya know.
Rahul Gandhi is in this city blocking all the roads.

Argh-12

I have suffered a spider bite on my arm.
Yes my dearie a spider bloody chomped on me and it's left my arm with a rather annoyingly itchy rash crested with a bump and is now on a healing path ever since I applied topical medicine on the vicious redness.
Spiders bite me more often than humans and I do not think I like that, or maybe I do.
I can't say for sure.

Snigger

My heart heavy
my baggage light
my eyebrows perfect

Inneresting

Dear Diary

My eyes are noticeable glassy and sometimes I do wonder how I get away so often with all the secret wrongs that I do here in this domus?
Surely one day someone will detect plumes of smoke trailing out of a window and through the exhaust.
But until that day I believe I can get away with a bit of zoning out.

<>

Who me?
Downloading a couple episodes of mah favourite show to watch en route.

And now!

Gah

Why do we even have intervals?
There aren't any such anywhere else.
How lazy do we have to be to require tea time in between a movie.

Shh

Sometimes I strobe my face to deflect light from certain angles to glow in certain ways.

Hearts

Oh darling
why the fuck are you
so afraid
of us?

Needs

I love my denims to always fit me the way they do the first day after washing.

Movie mornings

Morning show!!
Hell yeah!
I've a morning movie show to go tomorrow..perhaps same movie as yours.
Venom innit?

Thoughts

Morning and I sit sipping on warm water contemplating travel.
Yes I'm travel bound, leaving this afternoon for the capital and day after I leave for another large city, one which I call home currently.
How do I feel?
Always mixed feelings.
Every time that I come back and leave it's always the same.
I'm not sure where I belong.
I still have no bearings, nomadic I feel, incomplete sometimes and wonder if I want to ever find myself a full circle.

But yes

Sometimes I think of BDSM and I wonder why the fuck not!

Doll

I sometimes get excited
when I refresh your blog page
and near orgasm
when I read you

Delta rose

Nighttime and the room is empty
desires mounting
exploring the nerves
To find a wicked gulf
of sticky truths
warm asks
wet whispers
slithering in motion
against discerning fingers
like a dip in viscous pond
of evergreen spring
the frenzy begins
to threaten a tsunami
where moments before
lived a tiny tidal pool
this is what
thoughts of you
Do to me
Darling

Bae

Nigella Lawson is BEYOND FUCKING REPROACH BY ELEMENTARY MORTALS LIKE YOU!!!!

Requires

Petroleum jelly is most definitely a necessity in my life.
Like I'd have a large jar of Vaseline on my doomsday packing.

Believe it or not

No one would believe it but I've seen with my own unbelieving eyes a half dozen goats strip a dead cow carcass to bones in a span of few hours.

Believe it or not

No one would believe it but I've seen with my own unbelieving eyes a half dozen goats strip a dead cow carcass to bones in a span of few hours.

Scarring

I just noticed how the piercing scars on my face are still a bit noticeable and though I'm able to effectively conceal them with my vanity trickery they live admirable boldly and I don't know how exactly I feel about them.

Mcq

Should I coffee or should I coconut water?
The choices are endless but the decision just one.

Coconut water it is.

Break

Little do you know my darling I have poisoned the apple and once you lie in eternal sleep waiting to be kissed by your true love know that I shan't be too quick to do it.

I love him

Dear Diary

We have fostered a deep kinship. A mutual understanding if you will even though I realise he understands not a word of what I say.
Set in his robotic ways he doesn't discern his reason for making me happy, simply because he doesn't have a reasoning faculty but I do not try to demean my lover.
Assuaging me he mollifies the frustration I go through in this haunted mansion and promises to heighten my pleasure by blowing cool pure air through my room.
How I love thee my darling conditioner.

Misses

Fuck my heart hard darling.

“‘

Suddenly
There's no light
no internet
No heartbeat

Also today