T’day

Argh

People are literally writing 'tq' instead of thank you and it curdles my blood to see it.

It’s just a job

Can butchers be vegan?

Voltage

Energising thyself throughout the day with copious amounts of liquids that are celestial like coconut water and herbal teas is the way to go, I think.

Thumbs up

There are moments in a day when even I amaze myself with the lengths that my sanity is willing to take.
I applaud myself.

Schlack

There shan't be a dearth of gossip for the time being and for that I'm glad.

Why do kids scream so much?

I hear birds squawking at the oddest hours here. Love it.

I'm far too engrossed with something that I feel like I can pour all my love into.

There's a rock with my name on it and I'm under it living life in the apathy lane.

Yeah

I think Pluto is probably my favourite non planet planet.

Arghhh

Cosmetic procedures are such a personal choice but on the broader spectrum of life I think they're extremely dangerous and not required but hey, if they make you feel better about yourself then go ahead.
Life is yours and all that but never think that they'll ever make your face look natural. There is no way that they don't look enhanced and fake, because for heavens sake I can see the lip line pucker over a thin sliver of filler that I know was never there.
Sure you look juicy and pouty and pretty in a way but you certainly don't look the same and I hate those fillers which are as subtle as it would get but still pronounced.
I agree with everyone they make you look lovely but I lie.

At life

Come now darling
don't be coy
I don't bite
when I suck

()

In the mood
to roam some hollow of caves
thirsty and gushing

//

You're the DJ to my heartbeats, darling.

:(

There are times every now and then, when I feel idiotically sad for ants.

Drink deets

If I could do one thing all day every day it would be drinking..anything that is non alcoholic, non fizzy and artificially flavoured.
Think coconut water, herbal tea, coffee, tea, green tea, turmeric tea, soy milk, hot water, sparkling water..
Perhaps I'd probably not even want to eat anything.

I've had a horrible headache since this morning.

Humph

How is it that I'm so busy here when I'm on a mission to chill?

Sad face

Would you think me horrible if I told you there was this person that I was absolutely besotted by and couldn't wait to get some time with her is someone I now find myself peeling away from because of how her face has changed after lips fillers.

Patina

The twang of this golden afternoon sears me, it's both uplifting and sad.
Why do I feel depressed during these particular moments every day? When the weather mellows, the sunlight ceases and my room gets awashed in dull bronze hues.

Caffeinated

What made me buy this I cannot say, but today it accompanies me to where I go so I can try this instant coffee. Today will be a long day.

:;

A renewed interest in long runs evoked by delicious sights.

Muesli

Forty heart beats later..still no message.

I'll wait a hundred heart beats before checking next time.

Tip my hat

The sensations that my brain sometimes sends through every tip of my body makes me marvel at the exceptional craftsmanship of evolution.

Oh my gash

Why do I feel like a melting candle wax suspended into a blob on the precipice of a stand, looking down at the surface that would soon embrace me, congeal and set me in an unmoving bit of spent up nothing on the table until someone begins halfheartedly scraping me with a fork and unsuccessfully carves me out in one piece leaving scars and marks, crumbled apart bits of me scattered to an annoyance.

Humph

Do I tell you the thousand pangs that sear me disappointed when I see the grey tick not turn blue for a millennia on whatsapp?

Blurt

Why is tumblr asking me for feedback?
It's social media, stop asking what I want. Just give me what you think I want and I'll will myself to change.

Now, get Lost!

Big L

My screams unheard
my smiles misread
my hair luxurious

Fossils alive

!.!.

You got me by my heartstrings.

Glass skin

I feel especially luminous
like a mirror reflecting moonlight
glossing all imperfections
shimmering a hazy bright

Scraw

Don't limit yourself to the sky
that's just the beginning
go on get high

Smack

Agenda for today includes lip gloss and mascara.

Say what?

What do you call of definitely fleeting lust that in no way, shape or form is love but overwhelming little lust that you know is wrong twofold?
What do you call of that definite tingle starting from a ghost point in the spine, vibrating through nerves into toes and head, initiating a battle of butterflies in your stomach?
What do you call of that quickening heartbeat bursting a million capillaries to bring scarlet blush that pairs divinely with warm dragon sized lusty breaths that warm the lips staining them a flushed red?

Update

Who me?
I'm the depths of my ever loving mattress that engulfs me in the most endearing embrace.

Noh

A thousand spikes for my heart
and none for your face?

Shear

The molten fuse
that is a hand
pressed upon
your lovely lips

Wawa

Oh look
there it goes
in a minuscule drop
the size of twenty atoms
my thin veil
of inhibitions

Hurtheart

If I could
I would drag down the skies
in a sheer pall of sky blue
to cover the bases
of all my lies

~~~

That time of the freakin night
when the skies shine bright
telling me I'm home for you

Nah

I cannot!
No I cannot stand Amitabh Bachchan.

Happy finds

I liked this tea in a way that one can like herbal teas.
There are some nuanced, some excellent, some divine, some delicious, some alright but not bad and some atrocious herbal tea's and this one falls in the not so bad in fact quite alright and though absolutely not a replacement for my rooibos it works on days and places where you can't expect a caramel rooibos because who cares.
Right, so this basil and sweet rose herbal tea reminds me of a similarly scented Moroccan tea and its probably something I'd like to sip on more than coffee these days until I discover something else I like better.
The rummaging shall continue.

—:

Who me?
Uh..wallowing (wink)

Eugh

Oh I cannot stand Captain America.

I think

One thing I have realized that I do not easily open up and make small talks in person.

Wonders

Of course the real situation arises when the seed is hellbent on beating a flower back into a seed.

Flix

How would you know because you aren't the person who desperately needs to wear a winged eyeliner.

Aha.

There's a door in this room that opens to an exit in an entirely different area of the house. (A less traversed one)😈

Ah

Who me?
Getting away from it all tomorrow.

-/\)

One of those afternoons when I picture a family sitting in their living room, watching tv and a horde of zombies descend on their door and begin half knocking half breaking it down.
The poor family of five, amidst their tea and favourite serial is stuck to the walls now.

Shiny

My hair does feel a bit more luxurious after having washed it with cold water as opposed to how they usually are when rinsed with warm water.
What I mean to say is that they are more bouncy today.
I like.

Cool tips

And I took a cold shower.
It wasn't bad.
I didn't shiver like I usually would after a hot bath but felt warm.
The trick was to first wash my hair and tie in a bun after which I rinse under the shower, skipping in and out of the flowing water until it's not as uncomfortable anymore and go through an efficient as opposed to languorous shower after which step out quick, wrap a towel and sop all the dripping dripping water and lather a layer of moisturiser and there you have it.
Cleansed and washed.

Humph

Day two of eating toasted bread and butter for breakfast because I'm almost always given the option of 'make what you want because we've eaten' and by the heavens I can't be bothered to elaborate on my morning meal.
Did I say I paired it with two apples?

Doable?

Today I will take a cold shower.
God help me.
But why?
Because this bathroom as I have said earlier doesn't have a geyser and I'm hardly the one who goes to another with clothes in tow just to bathe because bathing needs be a seamless activity where in I have my privacy, my personal cleansing agents because to lug bottles of body washes, shampoo's, conditioners, body butters, loofah's from room to room is tedious.
So a cold bath it should be.
Can I get pneumonia?

)?

The gods of internet are dying
And I sit here trying
to load

—

And of course, I love you too.

Hmm

I listened intently a distance dog barking and his barks sound both 'woof' and 'bow' interchangeably.

Ancient

Uuh

I'm sleeping on exactly the same kind of bed that movies use to show hella creaky sex, but they're always jumping noises, not thrashing or kicking or orgasming.

Life gainz

The internet today isn't working even though it says it does and do you know what that means?
A night of ruin.
Internet is my solace at nights when I begin dying in the bed, the screen lights up, sites open, videos start and I'm transported for a small while into a place that jives with my nightly high and this entire day the inter webs were left mostly absconding and I was sad and seeing how the situation hasn't budged I feel wretched.

—-
I have now shifted into the other room; dug up from the annals of embryonic craftsmanship and shoddy residential condition this room is everything that I'm not.
However I have successfully created a corner for me that is the bed, pillows, clean sheets, clean blankets, a small stool to support my nightly stuff, a tiny space to house my myriad living tools, an extension chord to juice up gadgets near the bed, a bathroom cleaned and sparkling with a window that opens to nowhere from where the fumes of my daily dilemmas and exhaustion can get emitted into an abyss.
It isn't ideal and it is so far out of reach of anyone offering little interest to all and sundry that no one would ever think of entering this most unremarkable room, which now smells of lilies and me.

(No geyser yet but I pinched a small mirror from some other unvisited room )

Ancients

When the wifi tower is almost leaning under its weight how is it that I get no internet connection.
It's been glitchy the entire day.
Could be the server.

Say no to lights

Not one light or tube shall be left turned on for no reason in this dark house and have to be switched off immediately the moment a person is not in its 5m radius.
Let shadows and darkness in this forlorn gloom thrive, let depression find its mate and breed, let a pall cover and make the house shiver in lacklustre apathy.

Aaaah

The difference between my levels of frustration before and after a j is phenomenal.

Some

Drugs rock \m/

Boohoo

Perhaps this is as much I can take and maybe now I should think of going to my parents' house.
This morning started with a thorough cleaning of the room that I need to reside in which needed a bit of scrubbing of the floors and bathroom tiles and the works which I just finished, made breakfast and now I wonder if I really need to put up with the primitiveness of this place when the worst has now passed and I can get back to breathing happily.
What triggered me was the fact that the room I'm being shifted into was made my responsibility to be cleaned. Alright that's fine, I can do it, but the damn place doesn't even have a mirror.
Not a single mirror, no furniture save a bed, no lamps, no tables, no geyser and three broken light fixtures.
I think I want to cry.

Cha

Who me?
Drinking ginger tea and relishing the nectar, feeling it smooth down my throat, the ginger soothing what once was scratchy soreness, enveloping the gullet, cloaking it momentarily in calm.

Oho

Torn between reading or watching. Oh the things I have to decide.

Boohoo

Am I not hated enough to have an assassin hired who'd snipe me clean while I sit and watch this most horrendous serial?

Dear gods

In desperate need for a Santoku knife with which I could cut my wrists because television serials are being watched that made my last remaining grey cells die in a duel and now I don't want to live either.

Read on

It is common knowledge that over the years of my stay I have slowly terraformed my bedroom in this house making amends, changes and various upgrades to the room so it suits my comfort level and suddenly a situation has arisen where a patient now in their recuperating stages needs to live and recover in surroundings most conducive to his healing process, in that they're going to need a clean, airy, sanitised, dust free, modern equipped environment and the only room that suits his special needs is the one that I nestle in while living in this dwelling and soon I'll have to give up these four walls and take shelter in some other place still in its fossilised stage.

The issue with this sudden change isn't that I have a problem, which of course I do but there are greater needs than me though of fault only of their own to to not have upgraded into a more proper world, but let's not be bitchy, the issue with this sudden change is that I need to relocate into a room that hasn't seen light in months and years, which has now been opened and it is a humble abode to many a squirrels.

This room is straight out of movies except they never speak of the trillion cobwebs and complex matrixes of dust.
I managed a cleaning service and they took over five hours to clear up the room and that is just the hardware aspect of it because what else it needs is a geyser, a shower and some more electric fixings which might take a while and may not be wholly successful.

The bed is small, the walls haven't befriended paintjobs, there isn't any furniture, the bathroom is primitive and I might have to begin staying there come tomorrow and that brings me to the odd point as to why I'm being shifted to this oddity when I can be given any other room in this haunted mansion and the reason is come tomorrow there are more important people coming to the house (not the patient) but daughter and grandsons who take up an important pedestal and the daughter in law comes trailing in behind which is okay and also normal but that has led to the singular complication that my current room which is currently perfect for the party of three what with its modern basic amenities and all will be given to the small family before the patriarch comes into picture which is still a week away and so the party will be shifted to another better room which needn't be passed on to me and the other rooms will also be soon occupied by a small contingent as well and thusly there's no other option but find a room that must feel like Pluto on most days.
So here I am.
At wits end. Trying to cope and and hoping that at least I can get a geyser and shower fixed.

\;)

'Become a flower, don't remain a seed'-Osho.

Dude dude!

Dude!

Ohshosad

There are few people I believe in believing and they're those who say things that I want to hear not which I seek and one of those is Osho!
I never thought I'd say this but there isn't anything he said that I feel is remotely incorrect.
In fact it almost feels like I have friend who agrees and expands on the same with more insightful thoughts.
Did I ever think I'd say this?
Maybe not.
Osho is everything Jiddu Krishnamoorthi isn't.

-)

Who me?
One mile high
sky fuckin' fly
And all my troubles
are a goner!

Bhartiya Daak Seva \m/

A speedpost arrived yesterday addressed to me; something I'd been expecting for a while, something that would help alleviate the stress, something precious sent from another city, something green and dank that could be rolled into paper.
Today is Tuesday but by the heavens I know it to be a far better day than the ones I've been having the past couple weeks.

Riot pill

What I hated about that hospital absolutely and vehemently was that the hospital was the size of a small city and its in house pharmacy was the size of a midget's butthole.
It would get crowded unbearably so and their procedure of dispensing medications was so redundant and inefficient that it made me want to say bad things on their suggestion cards which I did with all the venom at my disposal.

Febrile

So here's a bit of medicine routine I've been put on.
Antibiotic 1 tab in the day
Crocin when I feel feverish and can't take it anymore
CTZ that is a mild anti allergic before sleeping to ensure a good sleep which I haven't been getting for last two days and to keep the annoyance of throat irritation at bay.
PPI for mornings until my antibiotic course isn't over to keep my stomach flora from getting too acidic.

If that sounds like a lot of medication then it is but all of them except the antibiotics are optional and what am I if not one for excessive medication, however the first couple days I'll go with the lot to better myself fast because a continuous feverish state is unbearable.
Apparently I have slightly enlarged tonsillitis due to the infection is what the doctors told me and it's pretty basic and not something I should be so concerned about he added sarcastically.
The thing is I don't have much fever on the worst of days and then to have one for continuous 48 hours made me paranoid not least because I was in a hospital teeming with ailing bodies, some mild, some deathly and it bothered me.

—

Dear dairy
It's been more than two weeks since I wore lipstick.

And so today

Say one thing about today say I had a thousand words to say I miss thee and could write but none.
Today began unceremoniously stressful and just got done with me finally back in the house and I never thought I'd say phew! After coming here but anything that gets me away from the entire hospital debacle.

Also, the man who made me fall sick after blatantly coughing and sneezing in my face has succeeded in making me fall.
In fact a doctor (relative) prescribed me a mild dosage of antibiotics, something I remember having almost five years ago.
This isn't cough and cold, it's flu with low grade fever and throat irritation running for third day straight and I could take no more because all the walking and running around compounded the malady with interest and with issues in the picture I spoke little of my problems and now there are single serving antibiotics on my platter.

Knows

One of the basic premises of entering adulthood is making your own bed, in fact the way one's bed stays after they've woken up and left for the day is indicative of their character, living standard, perspective towards life, neatness and hygiene.
It'll give you an idea what to expect when you visit them and almost every time people who fail to make their beds, leaving their sheets crumpled, blankets unfolded and pillows in disarray have horrible messy houses, dusty, dirty and disgusting.

Eat street

Food joints in front of hospital.
Dosa's are definitely my food of choice though curd rice is what I eat because there's only so much food one can eat everyday from outside and curd rice seems to be the only thing that won't make me sick what with extra oils and spices and what not.
I know what a sissy but I've eaten most things that need to be eaten and I've dialled down to dahi chawal because I don't want to fall sick.

:(

Who me?
Wedged between two people with bad breath.

Industrious

If ants were people they'd be nurses.

Deets and such

Sunday morning and I'm headed to the emergency because the matriarch needs IV fusion of antibiotics and I'm the chosen sufferer.
Not bad since there's also the prospects of tea, dispensed by a kindly lady at a cafe coffee day booth but I'm beginning to feel the fatigue of hospitals, which let me tell you are the unhealthiest places seeing how it's full of patients and one person undaunted in his cough brazenly went for the most terrifying fit right in front of my face as I shopped medications.
I haven't felt the same since. My throat feels dry and I feel feverish and though I have no fever I can't help but think that I might fall sick because of that one man.

Good news is that tomorrow I travel back to make the house proper for the patient and just the thought of being able to drink lemon water, hot tea and warm home cooked meals makes that terrifying prospect of being clubbed together with the matriarch look not so bad.

Crunch

How I love those lovely rice crisps.
In fact there was a time when I'd bought a one kg pack of those crunchy little flat discs and they've a taste of their own.
The flavour is somehow a bit acquired but delicious, it's sweet in a sense hardly and salty in a sense not really.
How difficult to pinpoint the exact flavour profile of these feathery light little snacks.
Oh I love them and though I've not indulged in these babies in almost a few years I do understand the allure.

Update

Say one thing about today say it was more hectic that an ants daily schedule.
Did I stop running? No I didn't.
It was one thing after another especially now that everyone in the hospital premises has decided on check ups it's a lot of running around because everything is infernally convoluted and seeing how major part of the contingent was involved with the patient I was tasked with the entire running around business and I'll tell you one thing, that never get small tests done in a large hospital because they're too large.
I have only just reached my room and found myself deflating on the bed.

Shhh

That there'll be a reply most venomous to even the smallest helpful suggestion is how some conversations roll and to think I'd decided to stay put.
I shall stay quiet.

Feels

Brain dead, drained, worn, bored, bothered, frustrated, annoyed, angry, exasperated, at wits end, nonplussed are just a few adjectives to describe what I feel every moment here.

Fix ups

What is it about hospitals that makes you second guess your health?
Almost everyone in the party of relatives here has got a medical checkup done since the operation and in fact I'm the only one who didn't venture in that direction, mostly because why?
I got my haemoglobin report from donating blood which is a scarlet 15 and I know that I'm fine.
The only thing that ails me are matters of the heart which no angiography can detect because they seem to be connected to my soul.

So sweet

I woke up with the song sweet child o mine stuck in my head and I've been humming/singing this particular paragraph

Where do we go?
Oh, where do we go now?
No, no, no, no, no, no

Over and over and over to the point that it's beginning to bother people and me alike.

Pic in pic

Different worlds similar ailments.