The long day

Who me?
Wiped out
And you?

chipped out sticky notes

Tuesday and I sit in my study, typing out things furiously getting annoyed with my graphic designer and making additions to the flow chart of my personal hell that is my side project which seems to be unending. It's a labour of love I tell myself.

I have to decide on colour schemes, make a few drawings for the cover art, and even some for the inside art and I am going crazy.

Right, Tuesday and I have been amiss here in this space which I so love.

It seems the more time I devote to my work the lesser time I have for other things which are equally important.

As I type this, my felines meow to let their need for food be known as it's a bit past their dinner time and what are they if not always hungry?

My neck is a bit better but I have to be more mindful for a while as it may slip into the zone of total fucked up which I am trying to avoid. 

I mean all I do is sit with my work for a couple hours and it eats into my time for cooking dinner.  Can't a girl just have it all? Make her cake, ice it, eat it and throw away the rest? No?

Hope is beginning to paw and climb on my desk as a way of reminding me to do my duties. 

More, soon. 

In a separate zone of never

That I want to be able to do everything and emerge victorious, a person who's changed the matrix of her life and perhaps nudged something about in the universe to create a vortex of awesome is my very dearest wish, would be an understatement. 

Not only am I unable to get the grains of sand in my life to fall in the right direction I seem to have no control over my headaches that stem from a sudden surge of problems in my neck and go on to create havoc at a time when I want to be sitting with my friend, listening to her moan about her husband blocking her on WeChat and ordering drinks so we can be on the same page of drunk.

Yesterday I met my friend for an early evening of late lunch and drinks. I had my lunch of course but she was in the mood for wings and whatnot and so we embarked on a mission to do the needful except my head was throbbing since morning and I kept pushing the thought away because I wanted to have a good time with my friend. 

Wishful thinking is exactly what it sounds like. It's a lie we tell our brains and our brains never buy those lies my head was beginning to fall out by the time we reached the venue.

We ordered drinks and I was able to surreptitiously order the non-alcoholic ones because I was quite sure that I'd need medication and one can't mix alcohol and drugs. 

Thankfully my drinks were made of oolong tea and they looked like a delicious alcoholic concoction, but by the heavens, my heart was nowhere to be found in the vividly chaotic conversation my friend was hell-bent on having. 

I could feel the nerves in my head beginning to pop out of my system and this hurt I went through and lived in and endured for the next 6 hours. I hated that my bag didn't have any medicine and that there was no pharmacy nearby and of course, I didn't mention to the friend in question about my internal slow agonising death. 

Finally, we got done..the evening was loaded with quite a few events about which I will write later as they deserve separate posts of their own and I arrived home to a cooked dinner that I didn't want to eat.

My face, now absolutely haggard and worn down from the immense pain I never thought could be possible on my non-migraine days spoke louder than words.

As I popped in a medicine tea got made and I lay silently on the couch without saying a word for an hour.

The ache had subsided and somehow I made my way to bed and slept, except this morning the ache was back on the left side, my neck and temple and left eye almost beginning to melt out of my skull.

This time I took a heavier medication dose and finally I am pain-free but the heaviness and weariness remain.

I have been working non-stop.

Lots of typing and talking and editing stuff.

Also been applying heat to my neck and now I'm gonna have tea and journal and try to figure out what went wrong. 

Also, yesterday I surfed on the crimson tides and that might have added to the long list of anguish.

Sigh.

I needed to read and tell and also want to read and know.. cuz misses.

Changing the font to feel better.

Do you like it too?

tell me things 

Wings

Some gold for sunlit lustre 

Eaten and realisation

Who me?
Not one to eat lunch at a bar in way of lots of junk snack!
Which is why I have already lunched and will probably pick at junky snacks with a small drink that will last me most evening.
My friend however is looking forward to snacking as lunch. She wants to eat onion rings, chicken wings, fries and fried peanuts.
I am quite full with a hefty lunch of omelette and rice. Yeah I'm that annoying friend who eats at home before going out :/

The number of them all

How many babes do you see? 

Lotta stairs

I've climbed far too many flights today. 

❤️

ग़ज़ब इनायत है जो की आप हैं आप
जो पत्थर भी होते
तो भी आप से ही उल्फ़त कर बैठते

How many cats?

Update to the lounge area 

Morning moods

The sun is out and all my felines insisted on occupying a chair instead of rolling about on the cold floor of our sun kissed balcony. 

So here they are, grooming themselves and soaking in the sun. 

Nothing much here

Friday and today is the last 'lunar new year' holiday.
From tomorrow life starts as usual and yes, tomorrow is going to be working for everyone here. It will be a working weekend and a full 7 day long working week.
There's nothing drastic to report except that I ate a lot and drank almost everyday.
I feel like I'm in a strange life jam. Stuck! Bored. Annoyed and sad all in the same mix.

Citric

All these grapefruits fell in my garden and usually I let them rot and become one with earth (cuz they're not very delicious and mostly dry and too fleshy) but this time I got some inside cuz why not juice them?! 

Places to go

Can you spot a stranger on the queue to the bus? 

Structures in the heart of this city

Metallic they stand in a column of weariness waiting for a bus. 

The objects of my affection

Tip out skyward

Imagine if I were to live in the top floor of this building! 

I don't think I'd come down for months. 

I don't say this with much experience because I was once living If even for only 6 months on the 27th floor in my previous town and I went out everyday! 

Kamehameha

Bought myself a vegeta! 

Quite the surprise

Dude!! 

Beastars figurines 

Popular

Spy family is the new 'demon slayer' 

This is odd

You better believe it that today, around 4 I got hit by a wave of drowsiness and ended up napping!!
Yes napping for a solid hour!
Oh my god!
What is wrong with me?
This is the first nap of this year and maybe my second nap in two years.
What?!!

In chrome

I saw this sculpture yesterday and it made me wonder how one can get so creative to make something so ugly!! 

Salivate spice slurp

Kolhapuri egg curry prepared using freshly ground spice mix. 

Spiced up

Who me? 

Making Kolhapuri masala (cheech) because why not?!

Seasonal preparation

The weather is expected to get quite horrible in the coming days and I'm planning to cover my plants outside with plastic to keep from snow. 

Sunday nothing

Finished watching 'treason' on Netflix and utterly enjoyed it!

Big big bowl

Went to a temple and had temple food which means it is absolutely vegetarian/vegan! 

This is a bowl of noodles with different soya meats and mushrooms with noodles. 

Night/morn

12:40 and I just got done with my skincare because everything is delayed!!
Happy Chinese new year of the rabbit!

Couldn’t resist

Ramune haul 

And now at a Pho shop

Who me? 

Swanning 

And you? 

This morning

I have things to say

I have decided to watch all of twilight movies as a part of the movies to watch that is never watch!
Currently I am on 'my best friends wedding' and it serves its purpose as that movie while I eat lunch.
Out of all the rom coms that I've recently tortured myself with, I'd say 'maid of honour' was probably the least worst one!
Of course it could be argued by zealots of romantic comedy lovers and I have no defence.

I type this right now as I pause the movie 'the twilight saga: new moon' which is essentially the second part after twilight and thankfully not in a blue tint! And I want to ask why does everyone in the movie find themselves attracted to the character of Bella Swan? She is quite definitively that irritating person you never like talking to at school.
The self reverential 'i'm not into things everyone else is into' sort of pick me girl who's never like 'other girls'. She's an 18 year old who hates shopping, hates fun things, hates birthdays, hates getting presents, hates attention. She has no redeeming qualities, nothing interesting to say, she's not funny, she's plain in a way that has no finesse and is constantly whining, not to mention needy, clingy, bland and totally average! And that's the woman the wolf and the vampire are madly in love with!!
Right!

End of rant!

Not sure if I’d eat this

I was just browsing the takeout section of alipay without the intention of ordering anything and I came across this! 

It's called Blackpink chicken wings and they've loaded on the pink sauce in here!! 

I mean what? 

Yuck

That people are working from home today is putting a bit of damper in my day.

And scene

It has been quite the day, yes it has.

And done

;;)

Nighttime and my heart takes a quick inventory
Of all the times I missed you

The winding

Two days In a row and I haven't worked out :/
Feels wrong! Tomorrow I shall right it.
Also, has today been a Tuesday or what?

The room is quite cold and the tip of my nose feels frozen.
I don't know why I don't turn on the heating of my bedroom so that by nighttime it can be warm, but I confess that I do love sleeping in a frigid room with thick covers embalming me.
it feels cozy, almost like I'm secreted away in a small warm house.

And done

Blood test.
my heart bled watching the doctor extract blood from each babe for titre test.
But the felines were brave and there was not a singular flinch as the injection pierced their veins.

This morning

Morning and all the babies are in their carriers, making quite the meow din.
Today we go for their titre test.
That is the testing of rabies antibodies in their blood.
These are one among the tedious steps that need be taken before their big travel, in case things materialise. Cuz after this test they have to wait 3 months before going for a final checkup and then onboard a flight to another country.

::()

Nighttime and the frigidness of this room hurts far less than your absence.

Positive inhalations

Who me?
Of course I forgot to shut the balcony door of my bedroom and the ice cold winds kept blowing in, thus freezing my bedroom and so cold did it get that I could see my breath come out in cold wisps of thick clouds as I entered the room.
My feet and hands are icicles to the touch and I'm optimistically buried under my thick duvet.

—

In tints of blue
I lay low
smudged under pink floral patterns
fading into this winter scheme
rubbing my toe
Under warm palms
hoping it'll soon be over
and a new day would start

Tings

Who me?
Still in the flow of delay.
Almost fifteen minutes to 8 and my dinner isn't cooked yet!

Haha

Why is this so funny? 

Everything gets delayed and I smile

Rather shamefacedly I admit that I woke up at 9:45 this fine sunny morning!

My entire routine has taken a laid back quality since people arrived as I don't bother to wake up early to feed the cats and take out trash and clean their litter as all these activities are taken care of by others and I don't even bother nor intend to make breakfast and pack lunch!! Something I routinely did before December 3rd!
This is pushing my entire schedule out of time not only did I miss out on my workout today because all the other chores have cyclically gotten pushed 2 hours behind and I just got done with everything and it's almost noon, but also find that I enjoy this absolute slovenly behaviours wherein I'm still roaming about unbathed, holding my second cup of coffee and looking out the window into the warmth of today!
I need to take control and get things in order as they were as they're supposed to be.
Stop enjoying this laziness!!

:)

Who me?
Not in the least bit embarrassed about waking up at 9:30 today!!

White morning

Series stuff

Watched the Netflix web series called 'CAT' and it is excellently done.
The tone of it, the mood of it, the production designing and casting of it, all done top notch and everyone acted brilliantly.
Also watching things about Punjab makes me smile on the inside :)

Hahahahaha

क्रिप्टो करेंसी की वैल्यू कम हो गई है। प्लीज़ ख़रीदना बंद करो।
- things I heard my friend tell her husband

Oui/non ?

Same story

I'm an easy girl to please. All I want are some seeders to seed the damned broken empire books!!

Anime hearts and kiss

Monster!!!
Most definitively on the top list of my anime's!!
Munch munch chomp chomp gobble gobble gulp!!
Naoki Urasawa nails it in the head, heart and soul.
How it draws you in, quarters you and pulls you into a world that is both magnificent and compelling.
It's from this anime that the quote for drinking coffee with sugar bore into my heart and I never looked back!
—
Currently watching cyberpunk and it's a riot of gorgeous colours, music and animation style.
Might rewatch monster again.!!
—
How strange that it's raining here as well for almost two days now and the weather feels sticky wet and humid. Not as cold right now but there's a yellow warning issued for icy temperatures starting Monday!
Argh!!

—:/

That time of night
When I overthink

Suggestions

Finished mistborn 'the a hero of ages' and I realized that the entire understanding of these books is given in the name itself. Mistborn it is indeed.
Definitely enjoyed it!

I am on the lookout for new books to listen to and though the third book from the 'broken earth' trilogy 'the stone sky' is still pending I am sort of trying to get ahead and have things queued up.
I've been suggested 'the name of the wind' by Patric Rothfuss but I want another opinion!

What say you wise one?

Lunch love

Lunch was a huge bowl of veg with some eggs and homemade bread croutons. 

I wanted a really creamy dressing so made one with yogurt to mimic a fattening ranch dressing. 

This weather isn't for salads though. I should have eaten something warm but I also wanted to eat something crunchy. 

The eggs were hot. So I guess it works out. 

Sweat then

A deliciously intense cardio that I'm gonna regret tomorrow. 

;;))

If ever there was a heart made of silken tufts I would knit it into a hundred leaves of autumnal adieu.

Inner lava

Nearing midnight
by my lamplight
embracing
distant thoughts
the wrongs
that I could right

The day as it is

Who me?
Editing photos
Listening to 'heroes'
Missing you

This morning and heat rising

In news today
China has halted visa issuance to citizens from Japan and Korea because these countries require Chinese citizens to undergo a covid test before arrival and to China this is most discriminatory and 'not based on science' and although it does seem discriminatory I want to laugh at these l statements because for over 3 years it was China that simply wouldn't allow anyone to enter. The zero covid policy was also not based on science but somehow they went ahead with it for 3 years and required every traveler to have not only a green code to enter which was almost impossible to get about a year ago, but also required travelers to test everyday, two days before departure and also isolate themselves in a hotel.

I mean discriminatory my ass cuz exactly a year ago, any foreign national who had to travel back to their own country was quietly banned from returning and no explanation nor advice given regarding their travel.
They just said you need a green code and there was no issuance of green code to anyone foreign to travel back despite the fact that most countries had opened and covid infections were near stable.
Students were unable to return for over 2 years. 'Based on science' !! I mean yes, now that the world has accepted and is moving on putting such restrictions are not needed but at the same time in the same breath getting a negative pcr result is not that wrong a requirement considering the plethora of impossible requirements the Chinese govt has known to put on travelers.
It's just a negative pcr, no need to be so dramatic considering the outlandish drama they've known to cause!
A lockdown!! Based on science!
Seriously.

And now

The switch

Morning and it feels strange to come back to a routine that had been excluded for over a month.
In good news the feeding of cats and taking out of litter was done before I woke up, and as I trudged through my semi asleep state to do the usual I realised these tasks were taken care of already. That I was quite surprised and took a while to come back to the present would be statement most accurate.
In bad news my sleep last night was punctured with an array of broken thoughts that didn't translate into dreams and I was well aware of my entire night.
I woke up feeling exhausted, heavy in my head and limbs and worn down.
My each day has me quite run down that a sleep feels like a must and not having that makes the first few hours of the morning a bit unbearable.

Upper body workout today?

Also, sighs.