I
Miss
My
Sharp
Santoku
Saturday, 30 April 2022
Yuck
Who me?
Uninterested in literally everything that goes on here. But hey, I'm so good at pretending!
Uninterested in literally everything that goes on here. But hey, I'm so good at pretending!
Meh aloud and a mound of ughs
Saturday already and my plans of smoking my J went kaput not least because people who had gone out to run an errand returned right when I was about to light up!
I haven't been able to get high ever since people got here because of the utter lack of privacy in this house!
I mean come on!
I can't live like this, I'm Not used to living this way and I can't deal with the utter primitive nature of life here.
The kitchen is one cluttered heap of utensils from a time when their invention had just happened.
The platform is full of stuff and there's no space to do anything despite the kitchen being a space so large it could house a small family.
I mean how do these things happen?
How do two people accumulate so much stuff and why do they refuse to get rid of everything and never have anything that is useful.
I asked for a ziplock bag and there was none, I asked for kitchen towels and there were none, I asked for a wooden spatula and there was just the one which is currently in rotation.
I have since gone out and bought a kitchen towel roll and a few other necessities but it's not nearly enough.
There's so much that should be done here to make life easier but NO!!
I haven't been able to get high ever since people got here because of the utter lack of privacy in this house!
I mean come on!
I can't live like this, I'm Not used to living this way and I can't deal with the utter primitive nature of life here.
The kitchen is one cluttered heap of utensils from a time when their invention had just happened.
The platform is full of stuff and there's no space to do anything despite the kitchen being a space so large it could house a small family.
I mean how do these things happen?
How do two people accumulate so much stuff and why do they refuse to get rid of everything and never have anything that is useful.
I asked for a ziplock bag and there was none, I asked for kitchen towels and there were none, I asked for a wooden spatula and there was just the one which is currently in rotation.
I have since gone out and bought a kitchen towel roll and a few other necessities but it's not nearly enough.
There's so much that should be done here to make life easier but NO!!
Oh come on!!
Today
Started with the MIL berating me for leaving the curd out all night which soured it.
To say that I was confused would be an understatement because I hadn't eaten any curd last night and also I didn't understand why something as small as a few tablespoons of sour curd would earn me an annoyed lecture!
I told her I don't know who did it to which she replied 'you're the only one who eats curd' .
What the what?
Granted I am the one who sets the curd everyday without fail but to say that I eat 1ltrs of curd everyday is quite silly.
And so I told her that last night I remember at least 3 people eating it and none of them was me and so it's not my fault it was left outside.
She kept grumbling about how I was not responsible enough to refrigerate leftovers and how the maid comes too early in the morning, making everything to be my fault.
I was so damn annoyed!
Like, please it's barely 8 in the morning and I've not even had a cup of tea and here you are getting upset about sour curd?!!
Agh! Fuck this!
I'm gonna roll a j.
Started with the MIL berating me for leaving the curd out all night which soured it.
To say that I was confused would be an understatement because I hadn't eaten any curd last night and also I didn't understand why something as small as a few tablespoons of sour curd would earn me an annoyed lecture!
I told her I don't know who did it to which she replied 'you're the only one who eats curd' .
What the what?
Granted I am the one who sets the curd everyday without fail but to say that I eat 1ltrs of curd everyday is quite silly.
And so I told her that last night I remember at least 3 people eating it and none of them was me and so it's not my fault it was left outside.
She kept grumbling about how I was not responsible enough to refrigerate leftovers and how the maid comes too early in the morning, making everything to be my fault.
I was so damn annoyed!
Like, please it's barely 8 in the morning and I've not even had a cup of tea and here you are getting upset about sour curd?!!
Agh! Fuck this!
I'm gonna roll a j.
Friday, 29 April 2022
Today in details
Today
I saw batman!!
And it was all that I wanted and more!
Delicious to say the least.
What else?
I feel like I've run out of my safety time here because the MIL looks to be pissed with me cuz apparently I made her grandson throw a tantrum and cry!! Which wasn't the case at all, because all I did was forbid him from unplugging the repeater, turning off the ac and turning on the lights of my room while I was watching batman!
I wanted no interruptions, you see and where I usually pander to his special needs and don't ever get in the way of his meltdown and tantrums, I sort of drew a line today, because damn it! I was watching a movie.
I locked the door to prevent him from entering a hundred times and playing with the switches and man did he throw a tantrum and scream and cry outside, All the noise of course drowned by the excellent soundtrack of the said movie!!
Anyway the kid cried and cried and finally he was scolded by his mom and more crying ensued, none of which I heard, and then suddenly there was a loud knocking on my room!!
Damn it I muttered and paused the movie to see a very angry MIL standing outside, telling me off for not letting him increase the volume of the television(??) and telling me he has special needs!!
wtf I said. I told her it's got nothing to do with volume and closed the door on her face and locked it again cuz batman!
Now I'm out and my MIL has a frown on her face and there's nothing being said about dinner, cuz usually I'd be asked or rather told to cook one dish or two but not tonight.
I'm beginning to wonder if there is any dinner on the menu!?
Anyways!
So that's the gist of today and it's highly annoying. Adding to a small incident which happened yesterday, about which I shall expound in detail in another post.
Right then.
I think I will order something fun like a pizza if there's no dinner and annoy everyone a little more :)
I saw batman!!
And it was all that I wanted and more!
Delicious to say the least.
What else?
I feel like I've run out of my safety time here because the MIL looks to be pissed with me cuz apparently I made her grandson throw a tantrum and cry!! Which wasn't the case at all, because all I did was forbid him from unplugging the repeater, turning off the ac and turning on the lights of my room while I was watching batman!
I wanted no interruptions, you see and where I usually pander to his special needs and don't ever get in the way of his meltdown and tantrums, I sort of drew a line today, because damn it! I was watching a movie.
I locked the door to prevent him from entering a hundred times and playing with the switches and man did he throw a tantrum and scream and cry outside, All the noise of course drowned by the excellent soundtrack of the said movie!!
Anyway the kid cried and cried and finally he was scolded by his mom and more crying ensued, none of which I heard, and then suddenly there was a loud knocking on my room!!
Damn it I muttered and paused the movie to see a very angry MIL standing outside, telling me off for not letting him increase the volume of the television(??) and telling me he has special needs!!
wtf I said. I told her it's got nothing to do with volume and closed the door on her face and locked it again cuz batman!
Now I'm out and my MIL has a frown on her face and there's nothing being said about dinner, cuz usually I'd be asked or rather told to cook one dish or two but not tonight.
I'm beginning to wonder if there is any dinner on the menu!?
Anyways!
So that's the gist of today and it's highly annoying. Adding to a small incident which happened yesterday, about which I shall expound in detail in another post.
Right then.
I think I will order something fun like a pizza if there's no dinner and annoy everyone a little more :)
Thursday, 28 April 2022
Argh !!
I think I can't and don't want to live in this hellhole anymore!
All because of such a minor incident which though small speaks volumes and it was offensive max!!
All because of such a minor incident which though small speaks volumes and it was offensive max!!
This morning
Another morning and I spent the night not sleeping at all.
When I say I didn't sleep I do mean I didn't because I was awake through the night wishing for a miracle.
It was somewhere around 5 in the AM when I slept and woke up after three short hours, but yes, that was the only sleep I got.
I cannot understand the reason for this insomnia and it's most uncomfortable because I stay frustrated, weary and with a headache all day long.
It's always after 2-3 days of no sleep that I finally sleep at night.
But this is such an unsustainable development and despite all the anxiety and stress back in SH I was still getting sleep with my babies around me.
I hope this problem gets resolved soon because in this uncomfortable environment sleep is most needed.
When I say I didn't sleep I do mean I didn't because I was awake through the night wishing for a miracle.
It was somewhere around 5 in the AM when I slept and woke up after three short hours, but yes, that was the only sleep I got.
I cannot understand the reason for this insomnia and it's most uncomfortable because I stay frustrated, weary and with a headache all day long.
It's always after 2-3 days of no sleep that I finally sleep at night.
But this is such an unsustainable development and despite all the anxiety and stress back in SH I was still getting sleep with my babies around me.
I hope this problem gets resolved soon because in this uncomfortable environment sleep is most needed.
Wednesday, 27 April 2022
Monday, 25 April 2022
Exist
I have
Shifted into this world that feels like it was perhaps taken out from a page of the 50's manual.
Shifted into this world that feels like it was perhaps taken out from a page of the 50's manual.
रंजिशें
यहाँ बिस्तरों पर खाना खाया जाता है
और
डाइनिंग टेबल को दवाइयों, अचारों और केचप की बोतलों से ढक
नज़र अन्दाज़ किया जाता है
दाल के पुराने धब्बों से कलंकित इस गोलाकार लकड़ी की टेबल
को कभी किसी कारीगर ने बड़े नाज़ों से अपना सबसे बेहतरीन काम बता के बेचा होगा
क्या उसे भी मालूम था
जिस घर में शीशम की यह सजावट जाएगी
वहाँ इसका तिरस्कार पहले दिन से ही शुरू हो जाएगा?
कितनी बेइज़्ज़ती से जूझती है यह बदकिस्मत डाइनिंग टेबल
उसे महसूस हर वक्त ही होता होगा
क्यूँ यहाँ के लोग, इतनी बड़ी अचार की बरनी
उसके जिस्म पर लापरवाही से पटक मारते हैं
और कुर्सी पर बिना बैठे
अपने खाने की प्लेट उठा अपने बिस्तर पर पसर जाते हैं
और
डाइनिंग टेबल को दवाइयों, अचारों और केचप की बोतलों से ढक
नज़र अन्दाज़ किया जाता है
दाल के पुराने धब्बों से कलंकित इस गोलाकार लकड़ी की टेबल
को कभी किसी कारीगर ने बड़े नाज़ों से अपना सबसे बेहतरीन काम बता के बेचा होगा
क्या उसे भी मालूम था
जिस घर में शीशम की यह सजावट जाएगी
वहाँ इसका तिरस्कार पहले दिन से ही शुरू हो जाएगा?
कितनी बेइज़्ज़ती से जूझती है यह बदकिस्मत डाइनिंग टेबल
उसे महसूस हर वक्त ही होता होगा
क्यूँ यहाँ के लोग, इतनी बड़ी अचार की बरनी
उसके जिस्म पर लापरवाही से पटक मारते हैं
और कुर्सी पर बिना बैठे
अपने खाने की प्लेट उठा अपने बिस्तर पर पसर जाते हैं
Sunday, 24 April 2022
All the updates babe
Morning and I ain't dead yet!
But, I did sleep a good 6 hours which is more than what I've gotten this whole week.
Where do I even begin?
That I'm here at my in laws and if there were a downvote button for this situation I'd sit on it until it broke.
My anxiety is weirdly aggravated by any news from Shanghai. The entire compound has been locked down just a day after I left because 5 fresh positive cases were found.
In a compound that had zero cases for more than two weeks clocked 5 cases just a couple days after a small freedom regarding walking around the neighbourhood was granted!
Makes you wonder at everything. Cuz literally everyone allowed to walk around was tested negative for 2 weeks, then how come someone got infected?
A popular theory amongst my support group of people tending to my animals is that there was grocery store that got infected from outside produce.
Ah well, I'm not there anymore and so I do not have to go through what might have been a shittier situation.
Did I mention it's hot here!
I mean delhi wasn't as hot and the home was always supplied with a fresh cold burst of cooler air which often made fans redundant, but here, in this house, which feels like it has transported me to the silent movies era it's hot, the air circulation is nil and the house is infested with little children as well.
It's not ideal but I have recently been through one of the worst situations in my life and I know I can breeze through this like a snap!
Right then.
I think another cup of tea is in order.
Maybe I'll roll a small j after (of course I got the stuff here) and let's see how I decide to cook.
But, I did sleep a good 6 hours which is more than what I've gotten this whole week.
Where do I even begin?
That I'm here at my in laws and if there were a downvote button for this situation I'd sit on it until it broke.
My anxiety is weirdly aggravated by any news from Shanghai. The entire compound has been locked down just a day after I left because 5 fresh positive cases were found.
In a compound that had zero cases for more than two weeks clocked 5 cases just a couple days after a small freedom regarding walking around the neighbourhood was granted!
Makes you wonder at everything. Cuz literally everyone allowed to walk around was tested negative for 2 weeks, then how come someone got infected?
A popular theory amongst my support group of people tending to my animals is that there was grocery store that got infected from outside produce.
Ah well, I'm not there anymore and so I do not have to go through what might have been a shittier situation.
Did I mention it's hot here!
I mean delhi wasn't as hot and the home was always supplied with a fresh cold burst of cooler air which often made fans redundant, but here, in this house, which feels like it has transported me to the silent movies era it's hot, the air circulation is nil and the house is infested with little children as well.
It's not ideal but I have recently been through one of the worst situations in my life and I know I can breeze through this like a snap!
Right then.
I think another cup of tea is in order.
Maybe I'll roll a small j after (of course I got the stuff here) and let's see how I decide to cook.
Saturday, 23 April 2022
What’s been up
Who me?
Unable to find sleep in the last one week.
I'm morbidly exhausted, tired and excruciatingly trudging through the day on less than 3 hours of sleep each night.
Why?
I don't know.
Somehow my anxiety levels are so peaked I can't seem to centre my mind and go to sleep.
It's most bizarre.
I've never been through something so debilitating in which I am so worn out that even eye roll hurts my eyes and head.
All I need is sleep. I know it my body knows it but I can't seem to get it.
Tonight I am dousing myself in sleeping pills.
I don't care if I wake up tomorrow.
Unable to find sleep in the last one week.
I'm morbidly exhausted, tired and excruciatingly trudging through the day on less than 3 hours of sleep each night.
Why?
I don't know.
Somehow my anxiety levels are so peaked I can't seem to centre my mind and go to sleep.
It's most bizarre.
I've never been through something so debilitating in which I am so worn out that even eye roll hurts my eyes and head.
All I need is sleep. I know it my body knows it but I can't seem to get it.
Tonight I am dousing myself in sleeping pills.
I don't care if I wake up tomorrow.
Friday, 22 April 2022
And so then
Who me?
Just buying a few linen trousers because linen and also because tomorrow I'll be off to my in laws and one needs to be presentable if even just lounging at home.
Sighs.
I'm not looking forward
Just buying a few linen trousers because linen and also because tomorrow I'll be off to my in laws and one needs to be presentable if even just lounging at home.
Sighs.
I'm not looking forward
Wednesday, 20 April 2022
Eye roll
Lost sleep somewhere I can't seem to find.
Last night I was awake at 2 in the morning and didn't sleep since, even now I tried, a shut eye, a nap maybe
But ended up thinking of you doing things to me and got horny instead
Ended up with a very D- fuck!
Last night I was awake at 2 in the morning and didn't sleep since, even now I tried, a shut eye, a nap maybe
But ended up thinking of you doing things to me and got horny instead
Ended up with a very D- fuck!
Saturday, 16 April 2022
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