I'm too gorgeous for this lockdown!!
The world needs me in my glam avatar!
I need to slap some foundation, conceal non existent flaws, shellack a thin layer of glowing bronzer to liven up my face, a bit of rouge to pink up my cheeks and a dusting of incandescent highlighter for god like glow .
I need my lids bedecked in colours, blended and perfected to earthy tones of orange and terracotta, a thin strip of feline flick the colour of darkly pregnant clouds to look coquettish enough for the skies to peep through, with a final swath of kissable lipstick in muted tones to liven up the oomph and a sunny gloss to reflect and burn and blaze those who set their eyes upon me..finally a spritz of mist to seal the fabulousness before I go to town on eyelashes with lashings of thick mascara coats, elongating and hefting each lash so voluptuously that each time I bat my eyes a little tornado is birthed.
Yes I need that.
Thursday, 30 April 2020
The foods we love
More than going out I miss eating my favourite foods .
Woke up with the intense need to eat some takoyaki and there is absolutely no way I can eat or even improvise to make some. Don't have the ingredients, don't have the moulds and most importantly where on earth am I to find some octopus?
Sure I can make some vegan version in the moulds my mum uses to make a South Indian dish called Appe but seriously? Will it even be the same, moreover would I want to eat it?
Watching the dog lick his balls and his simple acts of grooming make me jealous of being too aware.
Woke up with the intense need to eat some takoyaki and there is absolutely no way I can eat or even improvise to make some. Don't have the ingredients, don't have the moulds and most importantly where on earth am I to find some octopus?
Sure I can make some vegan version in the moulds my mum uses to make a South Indian dish called Appe but seriously? Will it even be the same, moreover would I want to eat it?
Watching the dog lick his balls and his simple acts of grooming make me jealous of being too aware.
And so it is
Say one thing about today, say I woke up to a sleepy stupor.
How does this happen? To wake up after almost 7 hours of deep sleep and want to sleep again because no matter how deep the sleep it wasn't nearly enough.
I'm told that I should go and sleep and only wake up when I want but seeing how this isn't my house and how parents have a tendency to wake up shortly after midnight it just doesn't feel right to sleep long hours not least because it will be the subject of many a table talks and I will be ridiculed for being a lazy bum which by all accounts I'm not, but tell that to my parents who think that not working or doing something that contributes to the household every waking minute qualifies one as a lazy idiot!!
Quarantine day it's about to end and begin again
And the heart feels viscous
dripping akin thick syrup
into my ovaries
tingling them to dissolute needs
telling me of my reprobate deeds
that should ideally make me blush
instead I'm resolute
to get worse
How does this happen? To wake up after almost 7 hours of deep sleep and want to sleep again because no matter how deep the sleep it wasn't nearly enough.
I'm told that I should go and sleep and only wake up when I want but seeing how this isn't my house and how parents have a tendency to wake up shortly after midnight it just doesn't feel right to sleep long hours not least because it will be the subject of many a table talks and I will be ridiculed for being a lazy bum which by all accounts I'm not, but tell that to my parents who think that not working or doing something that contributes to the household every waking minute qualifies one as a lazy idiot!!
Quarantine day it's about to end and begin again
And the heart feels viscous
dripping akin thick syrup
into my ovaries
tingling them to dissolute needs
telling me of my reprobate deeds
that should ideally make me blush
instead I'm resolute
to get worse
Tuesday, 28 April 2020
Solid lines
Another dreary afternoon. Temperature is 37°C, my room is an abstract chamber of daily decompression, inhaling my mood it sends out a hug of comfort telling me it's all going to be over one way or another, vaguely obfuscated in places some places lit aglow, I sprawl on the bed, wet hair in tow; listening to moody cosmic desert psychedelia contemplating a cup of hot chocolate or maybe something iced..I cannot decide but perhaps stay away from ice for a while.
I laugh at my fear and hope to not let it get to me anytime soon.
Quarantine day goddamit
And I hate these days but I like them just as they're too
It's a facet I didn't know before
I learn myself better
finding a capacity within
thay I wasn't aware of
I laugh at my fear and hope to not let it get to me anytime soon.
Quarantine day goddamit
And I hate these days but I like them just as they're too
It's a facet I didn't know before
I learn myself better
finding a capacity within
thay I wasn't aware of
Mulling
Nighttime and I begin to dim
under low lights
inside a room
they say is mine
it doesn't belong to me
nor I here
and yet this is how it is for now
it's how it's gonna be
for a while
under low lights
inside a room
they say is mine
it doesn't belong to me
nor I here
and yet this is how it is for now
it's how it's gonna be
for a while
Monday, 27 April 2020
Winds on roads
Today, and I waver from the usual just a little, seeing how it has been a day when I didn't roll the usual j, took a nap instead and did not read neither watch the usual content I've been consuming.
I've long been trying to understand this routine that I can't seem to shake off my system.
Of course routines are something we all adhere to, our bodies get typecast into following a certain timeline but living the exact same moment in progressions day after day as a reiteration of everyday photostatted perfectly into clones especially at a time when schedules aren't needed, they should perhaps in fact be discouraged seeing how we are dealing with a quarantine I find myself thinking why I'm unable to shake them off of me.
Not like anyone is going to point and hoot for not following a similarly treaded path each day, one that Is now marked with deep depressions from my incessant marathons. Nor am I expected to be a certain way. These are unusual times and nothing of the usual would fit in and yet I can't seem to waver from my trajectory.
Also the exact opposite also comes into effect, in that, why can't I have a routine? These are unusual times and who cares if I trace my path everyday? It's comforting to me and helps the same way a comfort meal works. I stay focused, fortified and strong. It emboldens me and gives me courage to know that even the gravest most unusual situations can't undo me.
And yet there's a part of me that tugs me into another direction urging me to let go and relax.
It's not a decision I should or can make. Or maybe it is.
Quarantine day it's not ending quick enough and I'm trying to find myself harder each day.
I've long been trying to understand this routine that I can't seem to shake off my system.
Of course routines are something we all adhere to, our bodies get typecast into following a certain timeline but living the exact same moment in progressions day after day as a reiteration of everyday photostatted perfectly into clones especially at a time when schedules aren't needed, they should perhaps in fact be discouraged seeing how we are dealing with a quarantine I find myself thinking why I'm unable to shake them off of me.
Not like anyone is going to point and hoot for not following a similarly treaded path each day, one that Is now marked with deep depressions from my incessant marathons. Nor am I expected to be a certain way. These are unusual times and nothing of the usual would fit in and yet I can't seem to waver from my trajectory.
Also the exact opposite also comes into effect, in that, why can't I have a routine? These are unusual times and who cares if I trace my path everyday? It's comforting to me and helps the same way a comfort meal works. I stay focused, fortified and strong. It emboldens me and gives me courage to know that even the gravest most unusual situations can't undo me.
And yet there's a part of me that tugs me into another direction urging me to let go and relax.
It's not a decision I should or can make. Or maybe it is.
Quarantine day it's not ending quick enough and I'm trying to find myself harder each day.
Sunday, 26 April 2020
Ready or not
Breakfast at night
Lunch in evening
I'd want a life
to be somewhat haphazard
like that
and experience it
but it'll have to be with somebody else
cuz I'm not capable of living like that
I hate it
maybe
Another quarantine day and I can't believe I'm living through it
My mood is so psych stoner right now and I can't decide between laying here sprawled or getting up to get on with life.
What is life in this mood?
My mood so mellow
My pants so green
My shirt so red
My lips so dry
Lunch in evening
I'd want a life
to be somewhat haphazard
like that
and experience it
but it'll have to be with somebody else
cuz I'm not capable of living like that
I hate it
maybe
Another quarantine day and I can't believe I'm living through it
My mood is so psych stoner right now and I can't decide between laying here sprawled or getting up to get on with life.
What is life in this mood?
My mood so mellow
My pants so green
My shirt so red
My lips so dry
Saturday, 25 April 2020
Needs
Things I need right now are a rocking lounge chair. A very comfy large Cushiony sofa with the right firmness on which I can sprawl and which can rock back and forth in soft movements that work to immediately dull my senses and propel me into another dimension of beautiful comfort.
I want to melt into a puddle with a bunch of chocolates and feel it all over my body right now.
Chocolate!! Yes that's what I need.
Where art thou my dearest chocolate?
I want to melt into a puddle with a bunch of chocolates and feel it all over my body right now.
Chocolate!! Yes that's what I need.
Where art thou my dearest chocolate?
Fill it in
The spelling of compliment is 'condescending' apparently, if I'm to go according to the idiots who seems to have lowered their IQ's in a matter of months.
This quarantine will be the stupidity of us all.
Winds, I hear you
there is nothing much
You'd wish to say
outside is a heap of things
that need be righting
but I have not the energy
to do it today
This quarantine will be the stupidity of us all.
Winds, I hear you
there is nothing much
You'd wish to say
outside is a heap of things
that need be righting
but I have not the energy
to do it today
Friday, 24 April 2020
Weather heck
Afternoon and I love sprawling on my fantastical bed to straighten myself, give my body a moment's rest and slowly let congeal in my head the rest of my day.
A small intermission before I begin all over again post lunch..a precursor to evenings but as a way of momentary chill.
My copper hued room swaying under the warms of the outside mingled with sweet cool of air conditioner, space rock lilting towards the ceiling, my mood evenly uplifted, drawing ahead .
Quarantine day uh huh
And I find my heart transcending into a well of deeper realizations.
A small intermission before I begin all over again post lunch..a precursor to evenings but as a way of momentary chill.
My copper hued room swaying under the warms of the outside mingled with sweet cool of air conditioner, space rock lilting towards the ceiling, my mood evenly uplifted, drawing ahead .
Quarantine day uh huh
And I find my heart transcending into a well of deeper realizations.
Thursday, 23 April 2020
To why
Long empty spaces of silence in songs what I hate the most. It's an absolute make or break for me.
Quarantine day no close to coming to an end
And I sit in my room, pencil in hand, nursing a crick thay happens when I overzealously sleep askew.
Now isn't the time to hurt.
I've things to do and there can be no stopping me although there will be pauses aplenty, for there are responsibilities lined up each day and I mustn't get lost even though I sometimes want to, but I have only nighttime for that and hope to fully utilize it.
Quarantine day no close to coming to an end
And I sit in my room, pencil in hand, nursing a crick thay happens when I overzealously sleep askew.
Now isn't the time to hurt.
I've things to do and there can be no stopping me although there will be pauses aplenty, for there are responsibilities lined up each day and I mustn't get lost even though I sometimes want to, but I have only nighttime for that and hope to fully utilize it.
Wednesday, 22 April 2020
In the line
Dalgona coffee will be the death of every instagrammer's tastebuds !
Afternoon and I oscillate between moods which perhaps is the wont of my everyday that starts with a full thrust into the thick of things giving me a brief respite in afternoons followed by another jolt into all that there is followed by a very relaxing night.
Ah!! My spa time is differently done.
Coffee? And I have to grind some coffee beans and do I dare? seeing how silent and dark and cool the house is downstairs, oblivious to the golden hues of today.
There's a shade like quietude. Men and beast alike in a sleepy repose. Dare I crack their zen shroud with a shriek of grinding katana? No I dare not and so I shall wait and quietly listen to delicious music after which there's drawing to compose.
Afternoon and I oscillate between moods which perhaps is the wont of my everyday that starts with a full thrust into the thick of things giving me a brief respite in afternoons followed by another jolt into all that there is followed by a very relaxing night.
Ah!! My spa time is differently done.
Coffee? And I have to grind some coffee beans and do I dare? seeing how silent and dark and cool the house is downstairs, oblivious to the golden hues of today.
There's a shade like quietude. Men and beast alike in a sleepy repose. Dare I crack their zen shroud with a shriek of grinding katana? No I dare not and so I shall wait and quietly listen to delicious music after which there's drawing to compose.
Thrilling like
Who me?
Feeling clean, virtuous and so very refreshed!!
Quarantine day it's been too long
And I wonder what I'm coming to.
Why are my nights so excellent?
Why is it so much fun?
What is debauchery?
sings a song
This afternoon
Of golden skies
and harsh sun
Feeling clean, virtuous and so very refreshed!!
Quarantine day it's been too long
And I wonder what I'm coming to.
Why are my nights so excellent?
Why is it so much fun?
What is debauchery?
sings a song
This afternoon
Of golden skies
and harsh sun
Tuesday, 21 April 2020
Shoot up
I am
marveling myself
at remembering a very trivial detail
of a person I don't remember remembering
Quarantine can get lost
I am at the very edge of nothing
each day is a bit of nothing
I add to it
By doing nothing
Music is here to the rescue
And my mind
Which thankfully is more fun
When you get to know it better
marveling myself
at remembering a very trivial detail
of a person I don't remember remembering
Quarantine can get lost
I am at the very edge of nothing
each day is a bit of nothing
I add to it
By doing nothing
Music is here to the rescue
And my mind
Which thankfully is more fun
When you get to know it better
Vein count
Who me?
Feeling good, feeling great! Feeling like I want to restart my day starting tomorrow and get some penciling some skeletal drawing in.
There's something in my mind and it's hazy. I will know it better when I throw it on paper.
Nighttime and the heart is eclipsed
With thoughts that nourish me
that might demolish you
I thrive on delicious poison
unthinkable for most until tried
Like drugs
but there's no destruction
I am elevated to a space
Not within me
Feeling good, feeling great! Feeling like I want to restart my day starting tomorrow and get some penciling some skeletal drawing in.
There's something in my mind and it's hazy. I will know it better when I throw it on paper.
Nighttime and the heart is eclipsed
With thoughts that nourish me
that might demolish you
I thrive on delicious poison
unthinkable for most until tried
Like drugs
but there's no destruction
I am elevated to a space
Not within me
Monday, 20 April 2020
Music background
The heart is mistaken
I needs not love
but wishes to feee
and that independence
of the soul to feel
as it wishes to
is what I feel is love
I needs not love
but wishes to feee
and that independence
of the soul to feel
as it wishes to
is what I feel is love
Shoot the heat
Why must I stare into oncoming evening with such trepidation?
It walks in slowly, muted and sudden.
Sometimes I turn pages in my book and another I whip out a pen to write on myself.. two facets of my everyday.
The woods creak
the wind sighs
the leaves crunch
my womb cries
To be felt
differently each day
from Angles I can't perceive
in depths I didn't find
when I personally explored
without a guide
It walks in slowly, muted and sudden.
Sometimes I turn pages in my book and another I whip out a pen to write on myself.. two facets of my everyday.
The woods creak
the wind sighs
the leaves crunch
my womb cries
To be felt
differently each day
from Angles I can't perceive
in depths I didn't find
when I personally explored
without a guide
Skips in slip out
There was a time once upon a life when I used to get my violin to work and often played it during breaks.
Quarantine day yeah whatever
And I miss my ukulele.
Edgy afternoons as I listen to some ethereal stoner psych..always amazed at the different energies of varied musical genres that came to set together into some beautiful bands.
To me, these creators are much at par with anyone who came forth to change the world.
Rebels, revolutionaries, doers!
Thank you guys .
Afternoon as I was saying, isn't the unusual. Golden, perplexed and harsh it makes me wonder when I'll finally stop seeing it.
Sunday, 19 April 2020
Little flies
The hole in my heart I like to fill with yet more holes. It's a tapestry of little holes within, akin an empty beehive and the little slots I like to stuff with moments I have no understanding of.
Now I'm filled with incoherence.
Now I'm filled with incoherence.
Humms
Who me?
Pretending I can live sane without weed!!!
What an idiot I am.
Quarantine day umm..
And I listen to a stoner/doom/progressive band and it's lovely, oh it's lovely.
I am glad to have lived through a life where pandemic notwithstanding I get to hear such amazing music which has come together to form an outer galactic sound which one couldn't ever have guessed listening to all these genres separately!!
Oh how things fuse!!!
Am I happy? Yes indeed so.
Thank you for existing dear music. You've made this life so much more bearable.
Pretending I can live sane without weed!!!
What an idiot I am.
Quarantine day umm..
And I listen to a stoner/doom/progressive band and it's lovely, oh it's lovely.
I am glad to have lived through a life where pandemic notwithstanding I get to hear such amazing music which has come together to form an outer galactic sound which one couldn't ever have guessed listening to all these genres separately!!
Oh how things fuse!!!
Am I happy? Yes indeed so.
Thank you for existing dear music. You've made this life so much more bearable.
Saturday, 18 April 2020
The fingers are in
I can't come to terms with the fact that we're bunged in and that's the best way to deal with it by vacationing inside your home with just as many people there are inside and watch tv and stay entertained but for gods sake please don't come the fuck out!!
Quarantine my fucking valentine day the fuck I know.
Sighs galore.
I tread silently to slip into night each night.
Quarantine my fucking valentine day the fuck I know.
Sighs galore.
I tread silently to slip into night each night.
Friday, 17 April 2020
Love ways
These are some afternoon!!
I know how to progress from here each day.
Why do I take into account everything that has to be done later ?
I think of the couple hours one evening when I'll be sitting on the couch or playing with my dog intermittently while reading a book because I only watch Netflix when I'm alone and I wanted to get on with a drawing but my heart isn't nearly in it yet.
Fine then Netflix it is .
Freud!
Quarantine another day .
Sighs.
But nights!! Yes!
I know how to progress from here each day.
Why do I take into account everything that has to be done later ?
I think of the couple hours one evening when I'll be sitting on the couch or playing with my dog intermittently while reading a book because I only watch Netflix when I'm alone and I wanted to get on with a drawing but my heart isn't nearly in it yet.
Fine then Netflix it is .
Freud!
Quarantine another day .
Sighs.
But nights!! Yes!
Thursday, 16 April 2020
Idiots and stuff
Dear Diary,
These are difficult times more so difficult because of the ever growing number of idiots in our surroundings.
I do not care much about the existence of such fools but in this quarantine trolling these idiots is giving me so much #life.
Quarantine 2.0 day 2 and I don't know why I'm
Noting these days when each night all I do is forget about them.
But talking to these stupids who talk through their asses and do not care to delve too deep into existing problems is fruitless but then I have the time to not care at all.
I was told that I'm like a radical preaching on street corners, stirring up tempers to small groups of people before moving on to the next and let me tell you it doesn't matter what anyone thinks because I am not going to stop speaking my mind.
These are difficult times more so difficult because of the ever growing number of idiots in our surroundings.
I do not care much about the existence of such fools but in this quarantine trolling these idiots is giving me so much #life.
Quarantine 2.0 day 2 and I don't know why I'm
Noting these days when each night all I do is forget about them.
But talking to these stupids who talk through their asses and do not care to delve too deep into existing problems is fruitless but then I have the time to not care at all.
I was told that I'm like a radical preaching on street corners, stirring up tempers to small groups of people before moving on to the next and let me tell you it doesn't matter what anyone thinks because I am not going to stop speaking my mind.
Wednesday, 15 April 2020
Laws of attraction and mindsets
Agenda includes not making an agenda except I'm trying to make up my mind for the next drawing which I hope to start soon.
Maybe tomorrow.
Also the agenda for tomorrow is workout which I seem to be doing every other alternate day.
My belief in law of attraction ever wavering has at times helped me with certain things in life and as much as I don't always subscribe to it there are some parts about this philosophy which I feel work in my favour, perhaps because I am that person who likes to make things happen irrespective of surroundings and circumstances but also I do not subscribe to the thought that everyone has potential locked deep within which needs to only be worked upon and made happen.
So what am I saying?
Just that I am skeptical about its third law which is present is always perfect, however in this moment of quarantine my entire day is sizzling with undercurrents of some of the best time I've had and the potential which had kept itself locked was long in emerging.
It kept knocking on closed doors and found no outlets and now suddenly when the world is burning I find someone opening the door to answer my knocks.
Maybe tomorrow.
Also the agenda for tomorrow is workout which I seem to be doing every other alternate day.
My belief in law of attraction ever wavering has at times helped me with certain things in life and as much as I don't always subscribe to it there are some parts about this philosophy which I feel work in my favour, perhaps because I am that person who likes to make things happen irrespective of surroundings and circumstances but also I do not subscribe to the thought that everyone has potential locked deep within which needs to only be worked upon and made happen.
So what am I saying?
Just that I am skeptical about its third law which is present is always perfect, however in this moment of quarantine my entire day is sizzling with undercurrents of some of the best time I've had and the potential which had kept itself locked was long in emerging.
It kept knocking on closed doors and found no outlets and now suddenly when the world is burning I find someone opening the door to answer my knocks.
This happens
Afternoon filters into golden streaks of yellowed hue and I get lost in thoughts missing out on most of the afternoon which went past like a flash of copper light.
Lockdown 2.0 day 1
And I sip on green tea to keep up my strength and senses for my nighttime secrets jaunts into realms of the nefarious only meant for those with an all access immoral pass.
Not for the faint of heart these nights but for me they're a vent which I walk into to enter my secret demesne of light.
Lockdown 2.0 day 1
And I sip on green tea to keep up my strength and senses for my nighttime secrets jaunts into realms of the nefarious only meant for those with an all access immoral pass.
Not for the faint of heart these nights but for me they're a vent which I walk into to enter my secret demesne of light.
Yes and yes
Getting blocked from all the garbage in my life gives me life!
A third acquaintance has decided to block me after a heated tussle and for that I'm extremely glad!
Thank you quarantine for helping me cherry pick and also falter into a few realizations that give me hope and a much needed respite this quarantine.
Thank you stars, skies and fires for running right because we can't expect it out of anyone else.
A third acquaintance has decided to block me after a heated tussle and for that I'm extremely glad!
Thank you quarantine for helping me cherry pick and also falter into a few realizations that give me hope and a much needed respite this quarantine.
Thank you stars, skies and fires for running right because we can't expect it out of anyone else.
Tuesday, 14 April 2020
Woof this
My plans this quarantine are nowhere near as innocent as his but by the heavens does my little doggy look at peace.
Maybe I've close to attaining this peace.
Maybe I'm creating chaos instead
Maybe it's neither and there's no name for the sudden zen I feel suddenly.
To go on
What time is this, I stare at my dog who in dire need of attention hangs by my every word. This, after almost forty minutes of chasing and fetching and running about for no reason .
Lockdown day 21 of the original three weeks of lockdown and now there's an extension.
Am I complaining? Not a bit my dearest because nights are here and they are all this lockdown needs .
However I am trying to divert my attention to stop myself from smiling and squirming through the day.
I'm hoping to start another drawing soon.
I feel like this is the nicest mental place I've been in for months.
Lockdown day 21 of the original three weeks of lockdown and now there's an extension.
Am I complaining? Not a bit my dearest because nights are here and they are all this lockdown needs .
However I am trying to divert my attention to stop myself from smiling and squirming through the day.
I'm hoping to start another drawing soon.
I feel like this is the nicest mental place I've been in for months.
Monday, 13 April 2020
Open up
Why oh why oh why won't my phone recognize my face and insist on me punching the password??
Is there an update I missed?
Has this phone finally turned into an asshole?
Have I started looking different??
I know I feel different.
Extremely different.
Is there an update I missed?
Has this phone finally turned into an asshole?
Have I started looking different??
I know I feel different.
Extremely different.
Sizzling
My everyday is a photostat of the day previous except my nights which are an explosion of unprecedented wtf's !!
Date I say my nights are all I look forward to each morning?
I do.
Quarantine day who the fuck cares there's a virus squatting out!
Date I say my nights are all I look forward to each morning?
I do.
Quarantine day who the fuck cares there's a virus squatting out!
Sunday, 12 April 2020
See me
Look at me not pining for my favourite foods this quarantine like am adjusting mortal that I am.
Look at me not trying to curse my pantry for not having oyster sauce to put into my bastardized version of yakisoba.
Look at me not getting disappointed at the freezer for not having nori sheets.
Look at me not hurting for the lack of ras el hanout .
Look at me unbothered about not having any chettinad masala for my appams.
Look at me holding back my tears for having no more capsicum and mushrooms and string beans and tofu and corn and cheddar cheese.
Look at me staring calmly at the last empty packet of coconut milk which I wanted to put in my soup.
Look at me not having a meltdown for the lack of my usual food comforts .
Look at me not trying to curse my pantry for not having oyster sauce to put into my bastardized version of yakisoba.
Look at me not getting disappointed at the freezer for not having nori sheets.
Look at me not hurting for the lack of ras el hanout .
Look at me unbothered about not having any chettinad masala for my appams.
Look at me holding back my tears for having no more capsicum and mushrooms and string beans and tofu and corn and cheddar cheese.
Look at me staring calmly at the last empty packet of coconut milk which I wanted to put in my soup.
Look at me not having a meltdown for the lack of my usual food comforts .
Short wave
What has it all boiled down to
Except Apathy and heartburn?
statistics and sexts
Refreshes and Snacks
Except Apathy and heartburn?
statistics and sexts
Refreshes and Snacks
Sin bad
That time of afternoon when the floodgates of darkness opened into something anew.
Was this supposed to happen??
Is it the right thing to have happened?
Will it ever see an end?
Lockdown day it doesn't matter cuz it's extended.
Heavens aren't helping
need to knock upon hell
The Glaciers promised
are little embers of plasma
which I swallow
With a jug of water
Was this supposed to happen??
Is it the right thing to have happened?
Will it ever see an end?
Lockdown day it doesn't matter cuz it's extended.
Heavens aren't helping
need to knock upon hell
The Glaciers promised
are little embers of plasma
which I swallow
With a jug of water
Saturday, 11 April 2020
Hmm
Had I ever known that instagram would be so much fun I'd have been trawling it a lot more.
It could be the quarantine perhaps.
It could be the quarantine perhaps.
Wrong turn
Dear lord
Please save me from the fires of hell pit when the time comes for my comeuppance and they read out my sins aloud and account me for violating the laws of transgressions.
Lockdown day 18?
But the days are now merely a number for after the 21st day of lockdown the quarantine will extend further and there will be no dearth of my crimes which I commit wholeheartedly on a daily basis.
Lord give me strength to not waver from my delicious path of wrong doings .
Amen
Please save me from the fires of hell pit when the time comes for my comeuppance and they read out my sins aloud and account me for violating the laws of transgressions.
Lockdown day 18?
But the days are now merely a number for after the 21st day of lockdown the quarantine will extend further and there will be no dearth of my crimes which I commit wholeheartedly on a daily basis.
Lord give me strength to not waver from my delicious path of wrong doings .
Amen
Friday, 10 April 2020
Prayers
Dear god in heaven
All I ask this lockdown is to never let the internet speed drop nor my WiFi conk out.
Please god all I ask is for all my gadgets to remain charged and my weed coffers full.
All I ask this lockdown is to never let the internet speed drop nor my WiFi conk out.
Please god all I ask is for all my gadgets to remain charged and my weed coffers full.
Mull
This quarantine be blessed if you're stuck alone in a lockdown far from everyone but you still have a lover somewhere out there along with good internet speed.
All I want
Forgive me god for I have sinned over and over.
I'm a sinner amongst sinners and doesn't that automatically turn me into a god or semi god or something?
Maybe in my head but I would like to dress in all gold. The kind of fabric that feels like a swathe of viscous sunshine.
That is most certainly my goddess attire .
And I gotta have nice jewellery. All gold but not too clunky and a sunny face with bronzed cheeks and peachy glow.
I'm a sinner amongst sinners and doesn't that automatically turn me into a god or semi god or something?
Maybe in my head but I would like to dress in all gold. The kind of fabric that feels like a swathe of viscous sunshine.
That is most certainly my goddess attire .
And I gotta have nice jewellery. All gold but not too clunky and a sunny face with bronzed cheeks and peachy glow.
In I go
Are we supposed to start turning into something else?
I look at a recipe I was due to make and the lack of ingredients bothers me slightly but this is hardly the time for that.
I am grateful for what I have right now .
The virus is turning me into something nice. I hate it.
I look at a recipe I was due to make and the lack of ingredients bothers me slightly but this is hardly the time for that.
I am grateful for what I have right now .
The virus is turning me into something nice. I hate it.
~|
What happens I'm quarantine stays in quarantine
Lockdown day 17 I think
Technically only 4 more days to go but it's going to get extended so maybe about a month to go and my biggest concerns is regarding the rationing of greens.
I have enough but not nearly enough to let me live lavishly high and thusly rationing is of the utmost essence, however and I the person who can ration these things is more of an important question!!
Okay. Let's go.
Lockdown day 17 I think
Technically only 4 more days to go but it's going to get extended so maybe about a month to go and my biggest concerns is regarding the rationing of greens.
I have enough but not nearly enough to let me live lavishly high and thusly rationing is of the utmost essence, however and I the person who can ration these things is more of an important question!!
Okay. Let's go.
Thursday, 9 April 2020
I ain’t eating
I just got high and trolled my good friend on his gluten free fuckall recipes of mathri made with fucking psyllium husk which is called isabgol but the fucker wrote psyllium husk so that people would think of it as some fancy fucking ingredient!
Who makes mathri out of ragi, buckwheat and rice flour with husk????? That too air fried!
Like calm down dude!!
Who makes mathri out of ragi, buckwheat and rice flour with husk????? That too air fried!
Like calm down dude!!
Say the road
Did I comb my hair today?
Yes or maybe not
I feel like I should have been a sloth .
I wanna do nothing.
Except sit back and sip coffee relaxing and watching whatever the fuck I want doing whatever the fuck I want.
That's all!!
This lockdown has given us the luxury to be anything we want to be as long as we are indoors.
Yes!
But no but still yes!
Yes or maybe not
I feel like I should have been a sloth .
I wanna do nothing.
Except sit back and sip coffee relaxing and watching whatever the fuck I want doing whatever the fuck I want.
That's all!!
This lockdown has given us the luxury to be anything we want to be as long as we are indoors.
Yes!
But no but still yes!
Zap me
Only the band 'lunar funeral' completely reflects my current mood even better than I can explain it myself.
It's high, it's sad, it's angry and in love .
What am I to do?
Lockdown day uh 15? Or 16?
I don't know .
Correct me someplace darling I don't remember a dang thing.
There's every justification to do whatever the fuck you like this quarantine cuz it's very much a literal case of living on the edge.
The fuckin' precipice baby
I think I'd dive
But it doesn't look as promising
And so
I stay behind
And wait for my turn
It's high, it's sad, it's angry and in love .
What am I to do?
Lockdown day uh 15? Or 16?
I don't know .
Correct me someplace darling I don't remember a dang thing.
There's every justification to do whatever the fuck you like this quarantine cuz it's very much a literal case of living on the edge.
The fuckin' precipice baby
I think I'd dive
But it doesn't look as promising
And so
I stay behind
And wait for my turn
Silent murmurs
Sometimes I wish I could see air just to know how it's flowing in my room and what I could do to make it flow better!
Like should I open a couple more windows and turn on the exhaust to spell all the smoke that was on account of a citronella candle to rid the room of mosquitoes of which there have been plenty ever since I went on a mission to clean the air conditioning ?
Was this a question? I forget.
But I'd like to see air or at the very least the shape of it.
Also was the movie shape of water a bit like a hellboy prequel?
I dunno the weirdo kinda looked like abe sapien. The movie was alright but what was the deal with fucking that fish?
I guess one does when they've gills that suddenly spurt.
Like should I open a couple more windows and turn on the exhaust to spell all the smoke that was on account of a citronella candle to rid the room of mosquitoes of which there have been plenty ever since I went on a mission to clean the air conditioning ?
Was this a question? I forget.
But I'd like to see air or at the very least the shape of it.
Also was the movie shape of water a bit like a hellboy prequel?
I dunno the weirdo kinda looked like abe sapien. The movie was alright but what was the deal with fucking that fish?
I guess one does when they've gills that suddenly spurt.
Wednesday, 8 April 2020
Music and Kush
Who me?
Strung up high on a quarantine cross with plumes of smoke arising about my person pushing me into a space of high wow which I never wish to descend.
Lockdown day 14
The dead bodies aren't people anymore.
They're statistics and I find my hurt atrophying like dead corals strewn about a shore .
Strung up high on a quarantine cross with plumes of smoke arising about my person pushing me into a space of high wow which I never wish to descend.
Lockdown day 14
The dead bodies aren't people anymore.
They're statistics and I find my hurt atrophying like dead corals strewn about a shore .
Night lie
Who me?
Flitting about and you?
Lockdown day fuckall
And I am bored but in a fun way. I find myself being more than relaxed and free to do anything I like and want.
No restrictions , nothing here.
All I now need is a swimming pool.
Flitting about and you?
Lockdown day fuckall
And I am bored but in a fun way. I find myself being more than relaxed and free to do anything I like and want.
No restrictions , nothing here.
All I now need is a swimming pool.
Tuesday, 7 April 2020
Trend March
What's it about this quarantine that has made Dalgona coffee so popular?
Wasn't everyone already doing it for years before?
Like what now? Why is my Instagram feed filled with its useless foamy photos?
Day 13 of lockdown
Like people beat it into a thick foam and pour copious quantities of milk in it and lo, it's milk with useless foam!!
It's instant coffee goddamit!
However I recommend beating it with a milk foamier which is a teeny tiny hand blender meant to foam up milk in a small espresso cup. It gives me joy to foam things with it.
Okay then.
Drawing!
Wasn't everyone already doing it for years before?
Like what now? Why is my Instagram feed filled with its useless foamy photos?
Day 13 of lockdown
Like people beat it into a thick foam and pour copious quantities of milk in it and lo, it's milk with useless foam!!
It's instant coffee goddamit!
However I recommend beating it with a milk foamier which is a teeny tiny hand blender meant to foam up milk in a small espresso cup. It gives me joy to foam things with it.
Okay then.
Drawing!
Hyui
Who me?
Wondering what at the what the fuck of everything and contemplating coffee!!
Does this room still smell of the repellent spray?
My exhaust, windows, and doors are open.
I hate this stench.
Right!
Time to draw someplace else
But the problem is that nowhere else feels as comfortable as your own private room where you know exactly how to live and nothing feels awkward .
Wondering what at the what the fuck of everything and contemplating coffee!!
Does this room still smell of the repellent spray?
My exhaust, windows, and doors are open.
I hate this stench.
Right!
Time to draw someplace else
But the problem is that nowhere else feels as comfortable as your own private room where you know exactly how to live and nothing feels awkward .
This now
Who me?
Wondering at the fucked up situation we are in and then letting it go to fuck cuz what the hell can I do except do whatever I can at the moment from where I am in this current disposition.
I am all hearts for a charging extension in my room that lives in my bed.
It charges everything.
I love it.
My current best friend.
Wondering at the fucked up situation we are in and then letting it go to fuck cuz what the hell can I do except do whatever I can at the moment from where I am in this current disposition.
I am all hearts for a charging extension in my room that lives in my bed.
It charges everything.
I love it.
My current best friend.
Monday, 6 April 2020
Righteous ass
Instagram is recommending me baby videos!!
For what?
Is it trying to change my mind or it trying to shame me?
We shall never know but I have asked for fewer posts like this.
More cat videos please.
They're my manna.
I fucking thrive on them.
For what?
Is it trying to change my mind or it trying to shame me?
We shall never know but I have asked for fewer posts like this.
More cat videos please.
They're my manna.
I fucking thrive on them.
Cheese
When everything is all okay,
The first thing I wanna do is visit my favourite Izakaya.
How fun it would be.
I miss things.
The first thing I wanna do is visit my favourite Izakaya.
How fun it would be.
I miss things.
Why knife
Little hurts dotted on my soul
find new friends each day .
I'm inconsiderate
to your shortcomings
and for that I could apologise
but I don't want to
find new friends each day .
I'm inconsiderate
to your shortcomings
and for that I could apologise
but I don't want to
Some what some not
Day 12 or is it 13 of lockdown and I'm so very confused about the days now.
The lockdown is over when it's over but what isn't over inside of me is the sheer hatred for the current fascist government and the people who blindly support it.
I can't in good sense be friends or feel close to such people.
Why does my husband have to be such a dick about this I shall never know but how can I hate that ass when I'm married to him and we share a lovely little fur family together??
Can't I just switch his brains while keeping the intelligence part of it and only replacing the intellectual part of it?!!?
My music deafens me and I love it.
Sure my basic Bluetooth speaker which looks cute by the way isn't as good as the one I have back home but it works well enough for me to love the small window of 'me' time I have in this house.
The lockdown is over when it's over but what isn't over inside of me is the sheer hatred for the current fascist government and the people who blindly support it.
I can't in good sense be friends or feel close to such people.
Why does my husband have to be such a dick about this I shall never know but how can I hate that ass when I'm married to him and we share a lovely little fur family together??
Can't I just switch his brains while keeping the intelligence part of it and only replacing the intellectual part of it?!!?
My music deafens me and I love it.
Sure my basic Bluetooth speaker which looks cute by the way isn't as good as the one I have back home but it works well enough for me to love the small window of 'me' time I have in this house.
Not better but who cares
Who me?
I'm fangs out and on a troll mode cuz how do I care? We're in quarantine and apparently I care too much to not care.
I'm fangs out and on a troll mode cuz how do I care? We're in quarantine and apparently I care too much to not care.
Sunday, 5 April 2020
What is it
PM cares more like MP don't give a fuck!
Lockdown day....I can't remember. Maybe day 11.
Looking out of the window and all I see is the glimmering hot path that looks about to melt under the sun and it's not even full fledged summers yet .
The weather begins to mellow sometime after 4 which it is now but it won't be until after 5 when I start feeling the full effects of the mellowness.
What is it about today that makes me want to stab it?
Lockdown day....I can't remember. Maybe day 11.
Looking out of the window and all I see is the glimmering hot path that looks about to melt under the sun and it's not even full fledged summers yet .
The weather begins to mellow sometime after 4 which it is now but it won't be until after 5 when I start feeling the full effects of the mellowness.
What is it about today that makes me want to stab it?
Saturday, 4 April 2020
Mental tether
If I wanted to fly right now I probably wouldn't because the sun is getting harsher by the day.
It's burning out there and the only respite from everything out including the virus is my room.
Cool and golden toned, tinted with faint redolence of dried roses and tea from a reed diffuser, resonating with music that is guttural vocals infused in stoner metal, it embalms me in cozy comforts.
It's my room, it's my space, it's where I feel safest and real.
It's burning out there and the only respite from everything out including the virus is my room.
Cool and golden toned, tinted with faint redolence of dried roses and tea from a reed diffuser, resonating with music that is guttural vocals infused in stoner metal, it embalms me in cozy comforts.
It's my room, it's my space, it's where I feel safest and real.
The blahs
Who me?
Gold medalist in flicking a finished joint outta the window in perfect trajectory.
And you?
Lockdown day 10 or is it 11
It can be both I guess and I've not started to lose my mind whatsoever .
There is entertainment to be had and people like mushrooms have grown out of logs forgotten.
I could pluck those pretty little buttons but who knows what harm they're capable of?
I could get high, I could get poisoned or I could eat to my fill.
The question is should I risk it?!
Gold medalist in flicking a finished joint outta the window in perfect trajectory.
And you?
Lockdown day 10 or is it 11
It can be both I guess and I've not started to lose my mind whatsoever .
There is entertainment to be had and people like mushrooms have grown out of logs forgotten.
I could pluck those pretty little buttons but who knows what harm they're capable of?
I could get high, I could get poisoned or I could eat to my fill.
The question is should I risk it?!
Friday, 3 April 2020
On and on
And my Bluetooth speaker ran out of juice just when I started drawing.
No audio no draw and so it gets postponed until such time as the speaker gets charged and it's not like I'm going anywhere.
I need to focus and only a person speaking in the background can do that. Moreover I have a neck to worry about.
I make excuses but in reality I don't wish this drawing to finish anytime soon cuz then what?
Well, then another drawing I guess.
For now?
Netflix and chill.
No audio no draw and so it gets postponed until such time as the speaker gets charged and it's not like I'm going anywhere.
I need to focus and only a person speaking in the background can do that. Moreover I have a neck to worry about.
I make excuses but in reality I don't wish this drawing to finish anytime soon cuz then what?
Well, then another drawing I guess.
For now?
Netflix and chill.
Too much Netflix
Pretty sure Vegan vampires drink orange juice.
I think I'd love to be on. I'd Just stick my fangs in oranges and suck them and go totally batshit crazy on seeing a ripe orange beginning to drip.
Pretty sure people would find me eccentric but no one would be creeped out as they usually would on watching someone drink blood .
Lockdown day 9
I never liked Elon Musk but I must say he is most entertaining during this quarantine .
I look forward to more of his statements and tweets.
I think I'd love to be on. I'd Just stick my fangs in oranges and suck them and go totally batshit crazy on seeing a ripe orange beginning to drip.
Pretty sure people would find me eccentric but no one would be creeped out as they usually would on watching someone drink blood .
Lockdown day 9
I never liked Elon Musk but I must say he is most entertaining during this quarantine .
I look forward to more of his statements and tweets.
Gimme fuel gimme fire
In this time of alcohol delivery to doorsteps to aid those with severe withdrawals during lockdown I wish there could be a weed delivery service too.
Like 1.5 times the regular price + delivery would also work and I'm desperately trying to look for some when I know there are none!
I'd watched a movie about a witch flying over a town delivering things 'kiki's delivery service' it was called and I'm hoping, needing, wanting some junkie occultist to flip and draw a pentagon over some graves or pyres, I don't know how this shit works, and summon the dark powers to let her hear the echoes of those pining for some drugs and deliver them to those in dire need.
I need you now the power of darkness, the bile of gods to come forth and send me a bearer of narcotics.
Like 1.5 times the regular price + delivery would also work and I'm desperately trying to look for some when I know there are none!
I'd watched a movie about a witch flying over a town delivering things 'kiki's delivery service' it was called and I'm hoping, needing, wanting some junkie occultist to flip and draw a pentagon over some graves or pyres, I don't know how this shit works, and summon the dark powers to let her hear the echoes of those pining for some drugs and deliver them to those in dire need.
I need you now the power of darkness, the bile of gods to come forth and send me a bearer of narcotics.
Gimme fuel gimme fire
In this time of alcohol delivery to doorsteps to aid those with severe withdrawals during lockdown I wish there could be a weed delivery service too.
Like 1.5 times the regular price + delivery would also work and I'm desperately trying to look for some when I know there are none!
I'd watched a movie about a witch flying over a town delivering things 'kiki's delivery service' it was called and I'm hoping, needing, wanting some junkie occultist to flip and draw a pentagon over some graves or pyres, I don't know how this shit works, and summon the dark powers to let her hear the echoes of those pining for some drugs and deliver them to those in dire need.
I need you now the power of darkness, the bile of gods to come forth and send me a bearer of narcotics.
Like 1.5 times the regular price + delivery would also work and I'm desperately trying to look for some when I know there are none!
I'd watched a movie about a witch flying over a town delivering things 'kiki's delivery service' it was called and I'm hoping, needing, wanting some junkie occultist to flip and draw a pentagon over some graves or pyres, I don't know how this shit works, and summon the dark powers to let her hear the echoes of those pining for some drugs and deliver them to those in dire need.
I need you now the power of darkness, the bile of gods to come forth and send me a bearer of narcotics.
Sneer
That time of night
When I've waited long enough and sleep begins to sink, my darling asks me to wait a bit more .
When I've waited long enough and sleep begins to sink, my darling asks me to wait a bit more .
Eyes don’t like
Okay so people have now taken to dancing on insta and posting it.
This period might just be the worst in terms of content on Instagram and YouTube .
But I do like the workout videos they're posting. It's fun to see what people are doing and can do outside of their gyms at home.
I've been practising my head stands and bakasana a lot.
Usually after workout it's about ten minutes of easing into a head stand or a bakasana with the complete flow .
It lowers my heart rate and increases rejuvenation and focus after which I cool down with a traditional form of yoga and the the day just feels so accomplished .
But yes Instagram has nosedived into quarantine quagmire .
This period might just be the worst in terms of content on Instagram and YouTube .
But I do like the workout videos they're posting. It's fun to see what people are doing and can do outside of their gyms at home.
I've been practising my head stands and bakasana a lot.
Usually after workout it's about ten minutes of easing into a head stand or a bakasana with the complete flow .
It lowers my heart rate and increases rejuvenation and focus after which I cool down with a traditional form of yoga and the the day just feels so accomplished .
But yes Instagram has nosedived into quarantine quagmire .
Thursday, 2 April 2020
Needs
I wish I had tiny acid stamps which were just strong enough to give a dewy mellow high, I'm not talking about the 'fry your brains' stuff! No! I want the very mild sing song awakening which I could pop into my mouth every day after a cool shower and spend my entire day being high and happy!
Lockdown day 9
Lockdown day 9
Saviour
My dried feet look like a Komodo dragon's claw which is why it's most essential that I exfoliate and moisturise them on the regular and nothing but the most densely moisturising cold creams can help them!
Thankfully such creams are abundantly and cheaply available in any pharmacy or store.
Most people would find them too oily for the usual combination skin type because it's choke full of occlusives but my dried skin and forever flaking dried feet welcome them on a red carpet with open arms.
A big fat goop of that thing scooped and vigorously applied to my cleaned post shower feet after which they need a few moments of absorbing and soaking and lo! It's like I waded into Lazarus pit!
Thankfully such creams are abundantly and cheaply available in any pharmacy or store.
Most people would find them too oily for the usual combination skin type because it's choke full of occlusives but my dried skin and forever flaking dried feet welcome them on a red carpet with open arms.
A big fat goop of that thing scooped and vigorously applied to my cleaned post shower feet after which they need a few moments of absorbing and soaking and lo! It's like I waded into Lazarus pit!
Bam bam
That time of the night when I wish there would be none of this night nevermore.
I live here only as my echo.
I live here in spirit alone
my soul swells elsewhere
I live here only as my echo.
I live here in spirit alone
my soul swells elsewhere
Wednesday, 1 April 2020
No support
Lockdown day 8 and I'm regretting spending it at my parents because I cannot for obvious reasons be braless at all times because parents .
In another time in another quarantine which I was spending back home it was cold and there were no parents.
All I had to do was wear a sweatshirt and call it a day.
Oh the freedom!
In another time in another quarantine which I was spending back home it was cold and there were no parents.
All I had to do was wear a sweatshirt and call it a day.
Oh the freedom!
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