Today, and I waver from the usual just a little, seeing how it has been a day when I didn't roll the usual j, took a nap instead and did not read neither watch the usual content I've been consuming.
I've long been trying to understand this routine that I can't seem to shake off my system.
Of course routines are something we all adhere to, our bodies get typecast into following a certain timeline but living the exact same moment in progressions day after day as a reiteration of everyday photostatted perfectly into clones especially at a time when schedules aren't needed, they should perhaps in fact be discouraged seeing how we are dealing with a quarantine I find myself thinking why I'm unable to shake them off of me.
Not like anyone is going to point and hoot for not following a similarly treaded path each day, one that Is now marked with deep depressions from my incessant marathons. Nor am I expected to be a certain way. These are unusual times and nothing of the usual would fit in and yet I can't seem to waver from my trajectory.
Also the exact opposite also comes into effect, in that, why can't I have a routine? These are unusual times and who cares if I trace my path everyday? It's comforting to me and helps the same way a comfort meal works. I stay focused, fortified and strong. It emboldens me and gives me courage to know that even the gravest most unusual situations can't undo me.
And yet there's a part of me that tugs me into another direction urging me to let go and relax.
It's not a decision I should or can make. Or maybe it is.
Quarantine day it's not ending quick enough and I'm trying to find myself harder each day.
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