All this new new

Okay so here goes!
Looks like all the post cremation ritual rules keep varying from people to people.
So what I'm doing correctly for one is abhorrent and wrong for another and by now I've already made so many mistakes that a lot of tasks that were laid out solely for me have been taken upon by MIL and her sisters because clearly I'm unable to understand and what needs to be done.

Honestly I'm glad for that.

Like who knew I can't make daal for people (the bereaved son), since their every meal has to prepared by me and nothing has to be anything but boiled. But I can't make daal! It's against the rules of the rite.
But someone told me I should only make daal.

Then I can't use a rolling pin to make roti's which is something I was doing every day. I'm instead supposed to use the palms of my hand to widen the dough to make fat roti which isn't something I know how to do.
I still did it and the outcome was very below average.
All this combined with my cooking daal sent others in a bit of a tizzy and the MIL took it upon herself to feed her poor son.
Alright! Good for me I say.

I am supposed to sweep and clean the area where FIL was laid and his last rites were performed in the house before being taken to cremation ground, after which I am supposed to bathe and plant flowers near his photo and light incense.

Okay! I didn't know I'm supposed to bathe for all this and I would sweep and mop the area and get fresh flowers and put them near his photo and light incense and all that came abruptly to a halt when someone noticed I haven't bathed.
I didn't know one has to compulsively bathe before doing any of this and of course this became bit of an issue as well and I have thus understood that I'm making nothing but mistakes.

Phew!
I'm trying but a lot of this is nonsense and has nothing to do with the spiritual aspect of anything. It's mostly 'कर्म कांड' which seems to be the backbone of our religion instead of the feelings and thought behind it which is what spirituality is about. It's all about the physical representation and doing the right thing instead of feeling what needs to be felt.

I'm just waiting for all this to get done so I can fuck off from here.