They're the sweetest ever.
Saturday, 31 July 2021
Across countries
My dearest Taiwanese friends sent me this picture of our Sindhu battling against Taitzu from Taiwan in bandminton semi's. 
It’s a Saturday and I’m dead
Who me?
Just got back from Exploring the hood in a bus!
Yes! It was most trying.
I don't think I'm the person for this job.
Or maybe I should wait for better weather but my lord, it's not my fault. I didn't intend to do it today but people thought it would be 'fun' to ride a bus and I'm glad to report it was people who gave up on waiting for it on the way back and called for a cab instead.
Just goes on to show how aspirational some people can get. The 'fun' part never happened, or may have happened slightly when I came across a lovely import shop in the mall. Other than that the sea of humanity in the surrounding areas of the mall was excessive. There are huge compounds with high rises in such concentration that the market area was bubbling with humanity.
There were boxing rinks, gyms, pizza places, shopping plazas, parks and almost every utterable convenience a person didn't even think they'd need in their existence and such massive concentration of noise and souls did that area collect that I wondered at the mortality rate if every a bomb was to explode there.
Nope!
The place I'm currently living in is much greener and absolutely quiet. Returning back in the comforts of our silence and serenity I wondered if ever I'd wish to step back in that area, roughly 3 kms away from my residence on a weekend.
I don't think so.
The mall was nice but that's about it.
Tomorrow I'll explore the other side of the hood and see how much bus I can take.
Just got back from Exploring the hood in a bus!
Yes! It was most trying.
I don't think I'm the person for this job.
Or maybe I should wait for better weather but my lord, it's not my fault. I didn't intend to do it today but people thought it would be 'fun' to ride a bus and I'm glad to report it was people who gave up on waiting for it on the way back and called for a cab instead.
Just goes on to show how aspirational some people can get. The 'fun' part never happened, or may have happened slightly when I came across a lovely import shop in the mall. Other than that the sea of humanity in the surrounding areas of the mall was excessive. There are huge compounds with high rises in such concentration that the market area was bubbling with humanity.
There were boxing rinks, gyms, pizza places, shopping plazas, parks and almost every utterable convenience a person didn't even think they'd need in their existence and such massive concentration of noise and souls did that area collect that I wondered at the mortality rate if every a bomb was to explode there.
Nope!
The place I'm currently living in is much greener and absolutely quiet. Returning back in the comforts of our silence and serenity I wondered if ever I'd wish to step back in that area, roughly 3 kms away from my residence on a weekend.
I don't think so.
The mall was nice but that's about it.
Tomorrow I'll explore the other side of the hood and see how much bus I can take.
Ugh
I am wedged between a thick cloud of stagnant damp heat and look for solace inside a coffee shop, away from people on their computers.
Sat feels
Saturday and the housekeeper came at 7 in the AM, looking bright and enthusiastic. A striking contrast to my early Saturday morning existence which was semi zombie like.
I opened the door, donned some decent clothing and have been flitting about the house with the housekeeper because how does one go right back to sleep? I finished my end of the chores which were litter tray cleaning, laundry, refilling cat water bowls, feeding the cats, taking out trash and trying to keep out of the housekeeper's way.
Finally, I sit down with a mug of water and contemplate delicious tea.
The weather today feels like air has been vacuumed out of this planet.
There wasn't a sliver of breeze as I stepped out today. Overcast, muggy and warm. I could feel the heat rising from the ground and the evaporating water that has pooped in several places around.
Doesn't help that this compound is made to look like a tropical jungle.
Well then.
Towards this Saturday.
I opened the door, donned some decent clothing and have been flitting about the house with the housekeeper because how does one go right back to sleep? I finished my end of the chores which were litter tray cleaning, laundry, refilling cat water bowls, feeding the cats, taking out trash and trying to keep out of the housekeeper's way.
Finally, I sit down with a mug of water and contemplate delicious tea.
The weather today feels like air has been vacuumed out of this planet.
There wasn't a sliver of breeze as I stepped out today. Overcast, muggy and warm. I could feel the heat rising from the ground and the evaporating water that has pooped in several places around.
Doesn't help that this compound is made to look like a tropical jungle.
Well then.
Towards this Saturday.
Friday, 30 July 2021
Meh and bleh
That time when I actually want to upload pictures on my food blog my VPN decides to act up.
It won't connect, absolutely refuses to budge and to think everyday that I'd switch on my laptop it would stay connected throughout.
Moreover I am now looking for the third mistborn audiobook 'the hero of ages' and I can't find it.
It won't connect, absolutely refuses to budge and to think everyday that I'd switch on my laptop it would stay connected throughout.
Moreover I am now looking for the third mistborn audiobook 'the hero of ages' and I can't find it.
Friday sulk
Say one thing about this weather say you mustn't wear anything that's not cotton or linen because anything that won't absorb sweat or feels like sandpaper scraping around your skin can't be good.
I am wearing a cotton dress but with a lining that I think isn't cotton and seems to repels water and this moment in the morning after I have finished my chores and sit sweating profusely, I feel the grotesque character of the inline of my dress.
The idea perhaps was to keep it from looking too transparent, but since this is a dress now allocated to only house wear, it doesn't matter how much it shows.
I am beginning to regret this item of clothing and want nothing else but to peel it off my person.
Odd how such a flimsy material can feel more uncomfortable than the thicker material of denim shorts I'd been wearing.
I am wearing a cotton dress but with a lining that I think isn't cotton and seems to repels water and this moment in the morning after I have finished my chores and sit sweating profusely, I feel the grotesque character of the inline of my dress.
The idea perhaps was to keep it from looking too transparent, but since this is a dress now allocated to only house wear, it doesn't matter how much it shows.
I am beginning to regret this item of clothing and want nothing else but to peel it off my person.
Odd how such a flimsy material can feel more uncomfortable than the thicker material of denim shorts I'd been wearing.
Thursday, 29 July 2021
How?
Watching my favourite Yuka Kinoshita eat a kilo of butter and cheese in a mountain of rice drowned in eggs and bacon and staying Reed thin while I would probably turn into a manatee if I ate like her. How on earth does she do it?
Updates
Can't say if it's the weather, the mood or the new house but my cats have never been as sleepy.
They literally spend the entire day in a stupor and rouse only to eat.
The weather is as shoddy as it gets. Humid to the gods and wet with rains.
There was a thunderstorm and sudden flash of rainfall so livid and loud that my cats sought safety under beds and couch.
Well then, on chapter 78 of 'everything is agreed' and I must say I like the story progression along with the rest of the things. :)
They literally spend the entire day in a stupor and rouse only to eat.
The weather is as shoddy as it gets. Humid to the gods and wet with rains.
There was a thunderstorm and sudden flash of rainfall so livid and loud that my cats sought safety under beds and couch.
Well then, on chapter 78 of 'everything is agreed' and I must say I like the story progression along with the rest of the things. :)
Lunch pulse
Lunch which is a salami sandwich, yesterday's leftover rice from the kedgiree and some kimchi. Yes, it's a lot of this and that and it's delicious. 
Scented space
I have just ordered half a dozen essential oils and scented candles because I don't know!!
Ever since the typhoon I can't seem to get over the damp smell that seems to surround this area and the humid almost Hamam like stench that comes with all the excessive water around the compound evaporating.
It's makes me feel grimy, like something is wriggling around me and I need scents of this season to drive them away.
I Need light citrus scents of tangerines and lemons and sweet oranges. I need piney lively scents of cedar wood, white or green tea and eucalyptus to get rid of these cloying smells I feel are emanating around me.
Even now as we speak there are at least two candles burning around the house.
Both outside, and one green tea essential oil lamp burning in the lounge. This, while every room and corridor has its own Reed diffuser bottle.
All I want it to be able to walk into any corner of the house and inhale light scents wafting across every inch of this space!
That's not too much to ask.
Ever since the typhoon I can't seem to get over the damp smell that seems to surround this area and the humid almost Hamam like stench that comes with all the excessive water around the compound evaporating.
It's makes me feel grimy, like something is wriggling around me and I need scents of this season to drive them away.
I Need light citrus scents of tangerines and lemons and sweet oranges. I need piney lively scents of cedar wood, white or green tea and eucalyptus to get rid of these cloying smells I feel are emanating around me.
Even now as we speak there are at least two candles burning around the house.
Both outside, and one green tea essential oil lamp burning in the lounge. This, while every room and corridor has its own Reed diffuser bottle.
All I want it to be able to walk into any corner of the house and inhale light scents wafting across every inch of this space!
That's not too much to ask.
Summarising thoughts
Thursday and I woke up an hour late! Everything got pushed and even though I've made up for the lost timing somewhat, I say as I sip tea, I am not upset with myself for waking late because I was in no mood to fix lunch or make breakfast! Why? Because I ran out of ideas as to what I should cook and so I didn't wake up at all :)
An extra hour of sleep really did work wonders and in this weather when you turn off the air conditioning the room gets warm so quick I wonder if it has anything to do with my room being on the top floor?!
I think I'll go out for a bit of shopping day. Grocery shopping actually. The superstore is ten minute walk away and I am in the mood to go and look at aisles. Though this chain of Carrefour isn't as good as the one that was near my previous house but what can you do?
I say this because the previous one had an entire section of extremely fantastic breads and this one boasts a small section of only Chinese style breads which are spongy and sweet.
And yes I make my own breads but this is just my way of evaluating various stores.
Also I think once the weather is a little better I will use the public transportation system around to know exactly what is what because the vegetable market is a few bus stops away and it's not worth driving till there I'm told.
Moreover whenever I talk to anyone about things around they always mention according to stops on the bus system and I kind of feel embarrassed cuz I have no clue.
Next on the agenda like a good Shanghainese foreigner is travelling around in bus to know the hood a little better.
There's a certain mall here which is supposedly excellent and it's always recommended to travel there on a subway line because it opens directly into the mall and it makes life more convenient because weekend parking can be a bit of a headache.
I get it!
An extra hour of sleep really did work wonders and in this weather when you turn off the air conditioning the room gets warm so quick I wonder if it has anything to do with my room being on the top floor?!
I think I'll go out for a bit of shopping day. Grocery shopping actually. The superstore is ten minute walk away and I am in the mood to go and look at aisles. Though this chain of Carrefour isn't as good as the one that was near my previous house but what can you do?
I say this because the previous one had an entire section of extremely fantastic breads and this one boasts a small section of only Chinese style breads which are spongy and sweet.
And yes I make my own breads but this is just my way of evaluating various stores.
Also I think once the weather is a little better I will use the public transportation system around to know exactly what is what because the vegetable market is a few bus stops away and it's not worth driving till there I'm told.
Moreover whenever I talk to anyone about things around they always mention according to stops on the bus system and I kind of feel embarrassed cuz I have no clue.
Next on the agenda like a good Shanghainese foreigner is travelling around in bus to know the hood a little better.
There's a certain mall here which is supposedly excellent and it's always recommended to travel there on a subway line because it opens directly into the mall and it makes life more convenient because weekend parking can be a bit of a headache.
I get it!
Wednesday, 28 July 2021
Wee dates
Dinner tonight is a solo affair.
Kedgiree for one.
—
'Everything is agreed' is extremely addictive. How did I find time to finish typing a recipe today? With much difficulty because I needed to get back to the 40th chapter :)
Kedgiree for one.
—
'Everything is agreed' is extremely addictive. How did I find time to finish typing a recipe today? With much difficulty because I needed to get back to the 40th chapter :)
RIP
Joey Jordison has passed away and that life that was slipknot and juvenile angst suddenly seem to feel like a piece of personal history. Has it really been that long since we were screaming to Iowa and headbanging in unknown rage?
Largesse
It's a club sandwich! 
There's bacon, there's salami, mayonnaise, cheese and cucumbers sandwiched cozily in my homemade bread from yesterday.
Now the question is how does one eat it?
Wet paper Wednesday
Wednesday is here and the cats are up to some mischief upstairs but I have not the heart to stop them because it's been almost 4 days and they've not stepped out in the open because of the incessant rains that are a postscript of the rippling typhoon which threatened to unfurl this city.
Also I have just finished with my chores and this is my time to finally sit down with some water and look forward to tea.
Last night I had to go to bed earlier than usual because I picked up 'everything is agreed upon' and I think I blazed through the first 25 chapters before finally falling into luscious sleep that comes about with a satisfying ending to an amorous day. :)
Today promises to hit differently after yesterday's Tuesday which was a superb satin finish of smutty erogenous deets soaked in carnal conversations much in contrast to the serrated Wednesday full of pending work that begins to scratch its sandpaper like aura around my mood.
I'm not gonna grin and bear it but rather embrace its saw toothed necessity and let it wear me out into a mass of fatigued lump and carry on each day until there comes another day that will ecstatically embalm me if only momentarily to soothe and intoxicate.
Also I have just finished with my chores and this is my time to finally sit down with some water and look forward to tea.
Last night I had to go to bed earlier than usual because I picked up 'everything is agreed upon' and I think I blazed through the first 25 chapters before finally falling into luscious sleep that comes about with a satisfying ending to an amorous day. :)
Today promises to hit differently after yesterday's Tuesday which was a superb satin finish of smutty erogenous deets soaked in carnal conversations much in contrast to the serrated Wednesday full of pending work that begins to scratch its sandpaper like aura around my mood.
I'm not gonna grin and bear it but rather embrace its saw toothed necessity and let it wear me out into a mass of fatigued lump and carry on each day until there comes another day that will ecstatically embalm me if only momentarily to soothe and intoxicate.
Tuesday, 27 July 2021
इर्शाद
कुछ इश्क़ किया कुछ काम किया
वो लोग बहुत ख़ुश-क़िस्मत थे
जो इश्क़ को काम समझते थे
या काम से आशिक़ी करते थे
हम जीते-जी मसरूफ़ रहे
कुछ इश्क़ किया कुछ काम किया
काम इश्क़ के आड़े आता रहा
और इश्क़ से काम उलझता रहा
फिर आख़िर तंग आ कर हम ने
दोनों को अधूरा छोड़ दिया
फ़ैज़ अहमद फ़ैज़
Tuesday tittles
Tuesday, and the housekeeper came calling at 7 in the AM and I didn't wake up on time because the alarm that woke me up was duly shut down by moi and so it was much later that I woke up to a very somber looking housekeeper mopping my floors.
To thank her profusely was for me the thing of the moment, and I felt sad that I couldn't arrange a better welcome for her with a red carpet and all because it was quite difficult to find housekeepers that were willing to work a couple days a week, as opposed to everyday of the week and this lady was kind enough to bestow her willingness to work once a week.
Two hours later my house is visibly wet because she goes heavy with wet mops I fear and in this weather which is heavy rains I don't know when I'll be able to walk less cautiously on my tiled surface.
Nevertheless the house is clean and I am happy.
Now for a quick drink of warm water, some tea and rest of the day looks good because finally this home is free of spousal infestation.
To thank her profusely was for me the thing of the moment, and I felt sad that I couldn't arrange a better welcome for her with a red carpet and all because it was quite difficult to find housekeepers that were willing to work a couple days a week, as opposed to everyday of the week and this lady was kind enough to bestow her willingness to work once a week.
Two hours later my house is visibly wet because she goes heavy with wet mops I fear and in this weather which is heavy rains I don't know when I'll be able to walk less cautiously on my tiled surface.
Nevertheless the house is clean and I am happy.
Now for a quick drink of warm water, some tea and rest of the day looks good because finally this home is free of spousal infestation.
Monday, 26 July 2021
little windows are closing
If only everything in life was fucking plug and play!
I yearn for everything easy and doable within minutes. The instant gratification that could last a lifetime or at least until I need it to last without putting in much effort or even any at all.
What an escapist mindset! I'd like an easy escape too. None of that filing away at the bars with a letter opener. More like unlock the door with a motion of the little finger and done!
I say this after having spent hours assembling furniture, reading instructions and matching screws and nails.
I say this after sweating each morning after vacuuming and mopping the entire house and still being only half done with daily chores.
I say this after washing mountains of dishes after every meal and arranging them later in their respective slots time after time like a fucking Sisyphean rock that refuses to smoothen with time and stays jagged and annoyingly coarse around the edges.
I say this after staring at my would-be garden during this typhoon, watching the mud turn into thick sludge splattering dirty muddy water against my just cleaned glass doors.
I say this after pulling out clumps of leaves and branches from the drainpipes of my balcony while having steady rain and more leaves fall from the sky into my hair and make my endeavours useless.
I say this after the full knowledge that I will have to repeat all these motions, go through all these exact emotions tomorrow and then the day after and time after time until I fucking die.
I say this out of spite.
Beauty and beast
Who me?
Listening to the new 'Draconian' album 'under a godless veil' because no matter what century, bands like draconian, Tristania, theatre of tragedy will always be my favourite!
Dethklok being the absolute No.1 forever \m/
Listening to the new 'Draconian' album 'under a godless veil' because no matter what century, bands like draconian, Tristania, theatre of tragedy will always be my favourite!
Dethklok being the absolute No.1 forever \m/
monday mope
When was the last time I typed on this machine?
It's been a while and looks like I have forgotten how to use a keyboard. hah!
Okay then. I am finally getting some semblance of daily routines and it won't be long before I find a ritual I want to stick to.
can you believe that that the spaceship drawing I was doing before I started shifting is still unfinished?
Gods! This isn't right but there is no point rushing it either. I have finally got the study room the way I've wanted it and now things are going to get a bit more streamlined.
Shifting is quite the process and even though this is the fifth time I have moved houses it still doesn't get easy in fact this has been the most excruciating and difficult move. Partly because my possessions in the past decade have grown, including many cats and partly because my needs and understanding have either gotten more smooth around the edges or perhaps I've grown to become extremely fussy.
Feels like I've gained a new chapter in life, found a new milestone, and feels like maybe I have started lagging behind in a few aspects where I used to be a lot more frequent.
I don't want to and cannot let that happen. If giving my 100% isn't enough then I will give it my 200%. What else can one do?
Gah! Thumbs down Monday
At the tail end of this godforsaken typhoon and people are home. I could cry!
This is a Monday.
I can't have people over on weekdays and fuck my weekday vibes. Moreover I had grimly mischievous delicious plans and look how it rains of my parade figuratively and literally.
Woke up late, cleaned the house and finally sitting for a bit of tea while the entire house is brightly lit because 'someone' is working from home and instead of sitting in a separate room to make official conference calls they're loving it up in the living room area with all the lights full blown to provide maximum brightness and I don't like my mornings to be this lit!
This is a Monday.
I can't have people over on weekdays and fuck my weekday vibes. Moreover I had grimly mischievous delicious plans and look how it rains of my parade figuratively and literally.
Woke up late, cleaned the house and finally sitting for a bit of tea while the entire house is brightly lit because 'someone' is working from home and instead of sitting in a separate room to make official conference calls they're loving it up in the living room area with all the lights full blown to provide maximum brightness and I don't like my mornings to be this lit!
Sunday, 25 July 2021
Some and near dusted
Not even nine in the night yet and I have called it a day because I am exhausted, my body unsure how to carry me anymore and I need sleep.
Tomorrow is another day.
Hopefully the typhoon will be abated and offices will happen.
Today has been a lot of sitting inside and yet I hardly got to relax because my body needs sleep not unwinding.
Right then!
To bed. Some YouTube and shut eye.
Tomorrow is another day.
Hopefully the typhoon will be abated and offices will happen.
Today has been a lot of sitting inside and yet I hardly got to relax because my body needs sleep not unwinding.
Right then!
To bed. Some YouTube and shut eye.
Now that’s what I call Sunday (dear gods)
Who me?
Finally taking a breather after having been up and moving about..cooking, baking and tossing.
I had a friend and her husband over for lunch despite the raging typhoon.
They were house hunting nearby and I had invited them yesterday.
Seeing today's typhoon I thought they'd cancel but they didn't and I made a three course meal this morning.
It's been a long and tiring day since the typhoon hasn't let up and promises to only get worse by evening.
I could detail yesterday's experience of wet slippery mud squelching under my feet as I tried sheltering some pots and retracting the awning from incoming typhoon only to fall in the thick mud, getting coated in grime and fending of an assault of toads, but I won't.
The cats are petrified, I am house bound and after washing a mountain of dishes there's coffee in the offing and a new series that I've taken to watching called 'Capitani' .
Speaking of series I have binge watched season 2 of beastars and it's so deliciously excellent, madly convoluted in its intricate layers of moral high and low grounds that it takes an almost demented understanding to actually read between the lines and see through its furry layers of many faceted philosophical rambles.
Right then!
Capitani, coffee and did I mention I have been getting little to no sleep lately.
Every since hope was lost I began losing sleep and even now, any time I start falling asleep I have vivid dreams recounting the painful moments I suffered during her sudden absence and I wake up worrying that she is still not found.
Is this going to be my new appearing for an exam I didn't study for dream?
Finally taking a breather after having been up and moving about..cooking, baking and tossing.
I had a friend and her husband over for lunch despite the raging typhoon.
They were house hunting nearby and I had invited them yesterday.
Seeing today's typhoon I thought they'd cancel but they didn't and I made a three course meal this morning.
It's been a long and tiring day since the typhoon hasn't let up and promises to only get worse by evening.
I could detail yesterday's experience of wet slippery mud squelching under my feet as I tried sheltering some pots and retracting the awning from incoming typhoon only to fall in the thick mud, getting coated in grime and fending of an assault of toads, but I won't.
The cats are petrified, I am house bound and after washing a mountain of dishes there's coffee in the offing and a new series that I've taken to watching called 'Capitani' .
Speaking of series I have binge watched season 2 of beastars and it's so deliciously excellent, madly convoluted in its intricate layers of moral high and low grounds that it takes an almost demented understanding to actually read between the lines and see through its furry layers of many faceted philosophical rambles.
Right then!
Capitani, coffee and did I mention I have been getting little to no sleep lately.
Every since hope was lost I began losing sleep and even now, any time I start falling asleep I have vivid dreams recounting the painful moments I suffered during her sudden absence and I wake up worrying that she is still not found.
Is this going to be my new appearing for an exam I didn't study for dream?
Saturday, 24 July 2021
Seems like it
Hurricane warning and I am eating tapas because why not? Let the world fucking burn or drown. What do I care..as long as I'm not dying with/in it.
Friday, 23 July 2021
WTF is this shit?
Okay I don't know why this is on my recommendations but seriously can you believe the caption for this video.
I'm not going to click it and disturb the algorithm only to have similar junk flood my recommendations but by the heavens!!
What on earth is even going on back home?
'मोहब्बत काली लड़की की'
Zip zap zoom
Morning and I am bathed in sweat.
Talk about up and at 'em cuz I have been up and at it since the moment I woke up.
The entire house was given a gloss over as I cleaned furiously the key components while giving the rest of the house a clean glean.
A housekeeper will be coming in tomorrow and for that I count my stats.
The house is still getting settled.
Not everything is in its place yet.
I still don't know where to keep my exercise bench.
The thicker curtains for the lounge area are still not hooked in because someone will have to get on a ladder to do it and it's not a one person job.
The last few days I wasn't up to much but today I have done quite a bit in these early hours.
The litter trays have been washed, the backyard has been raked, the mirrors have been cleaned and my bedroom is vacuumed and mopped and I am satisfied.
Now for some water, some tea and a nice lunch and then some..
Talk about up and at 'em cuz I have been up and at it since the moment I woke up.
The entire house was given a gloss over as I cleaned furiously the key components while giving the rest of the house a clean glean.
A housekeeper will be coming in tomorrow and for that I count my stats.
The house is still getting settled.
Not everything is in its place yet.
I still don't know where to keep my exercise bench.
The thicker curtains for the lounge area are still not hooked in because someone will have to get on a ladder to do it and it's not a one person job.
The last few days I wasn't up to much but today I have done quite a bit in these early hours.
The litter trays have been washed, the backyard has been raked, the mirrors have been cleaned and my bedroom is vacuumed and mopped and I am satisfied.
Now for some water, some tea and a nice lunch and then some..
Deeya and tap
Today has been long not least because I woke up late.
Today also had me going shopping for gifts that were boxes of assorted biscuits etc to give out to the guardsman and the management employees of the compound who actually cooperated and helped me look for hope.
They let me go through hours of cctv footage which is actually pretty confidential and guided me through compounds, talking to owners of houses under construction to allow me to visit the insides and check for my cat.
It was most helpful, a lot better than the residents.
There were two residents who looked concerned and exchanged hope's pictures with other residents, going door to door showing her photo and asking for sighting. For them I baked my very special spiced chocolate banana cake and thanked them profusely for helping me out.
It has been a productive day and starting tomorrow I want to get my routine in order.
I haven't worked out for the most part of this month and I will start once I have recovered from the ughs.
I'm guessing next month would be when I actually start my workouts.
Right then.
To get some sleep.
Also my phone is just about to die.
Today also had me going shopping for gifts that were boxes of assorted biscuits etc to give out to the guardsman and the management employees of the compound who actually cooperated and helped me look for hope.
They let me go through hours of cctv footage which is actually pretty confidential and guided me through compounds, talking to owners of houses under construction to allow me to visit the insides and check for my cat.
It was most helpful, a lot better than the residents.
There were two residents who looked concerned and exchanged hope's pictures with other residents, going door to door showing her photo and asking for sighting. For them I baked my very special spiced chocolate banana cake and thanked them profusely for helping me out.
It has been a productive day and starting tomorrow I want to get my routine in order.
I haven't worked out for the most part of this month and I will start once I have recovered from the ughs.
I'm guessing next month would be when I actually start my workouts.
Right then.
To get some sleep.
Also my phone is just about to die.
Thursday, 22 July 2021
Shit some people said
'Your cat must be hiding in the toenail
Your cat is definitely hiding in the toenail and she doesn't want to come back'
No! My cat wasn't hiding in the 'tunnel'.
Your cat is definitely hiding in the toenail and she doesn't want to come back'
No! My cat wasn't hiding in the 'tunnel'.
Update now
Morning and I woke up at 10:30. My body stayed stuck to the bed and refused to get up.
I have never been this relieved.
Hope is still annoyed, though she slept on the bed next to me but she seemed distant. She's moody and annoyed but feels better.
I am exhaling deep sighs and now finally I can look forward to rest of my house and go ahead and do things I've been doing.
The curtains are here for the lounge and they're a beautiful matcha green.
I'm looking forward to buying a nice rug and seeing where I can fit the damned red chair.
Phew!
The last few days have been something.
I cannot imagine how I coped up with them. Actually I didn't cope up as much as I just lived through them in a nightmarish haze.
I have to now do a bit of self care.
My entire body has bruises and cuts, my hair needs conditioning, my face needs cleansing, nail paints needs fresh coat of paint and I have to get myself back on track.
I have never been this relieved.
Hope is still annoyed, though she slept on the bed next to me but she seemed distant. She's moody and annoyed but feels better.
I am exhaling deep sighs and now finally I can look forward to rest of my house and go ahead and do things I've been doing.
The curtains are here for the lounge and they're a beautiful matcha green.
I'm looking forward to buying a nice rug and seeing where I can fit the damned red chair.
Phew!
The last few days have been something.
I cannot imagine how I coped up with them. Actually I didn't cope up as much as I just lived through them in a nightmarish haze.
I have to now do a bit of self care.
My entire body has bruises and cuts, my hair needs conditioning, my face needs cleansing, nail paints needs fresh coat of paint and I have to get myself back on track.
Aaaah
I'm wounded in several places. 
I realised as I showered just now with an antiseptic body wash from crawling under decks and pulls and water tunnels and stomping in unknown foliage and other odd areas and I nurse myself with a cold beer in bed tonight.
Hope is found. Annoyed and traumatised. A little wounded but her spirits are still just as feisty.
Finally!
Cheers my darling.
Wednesday, 21 July 2021
-
My babes sense my helpless desperation. 
I returned home because people took over the search. I've been out since morning and maybe I need to sit and drink some water.
Hope is amiss in this picture.
How can I ever stop thinking of her?
How
This is literally how this entire compound is. I loved this fact at first and the reason to move here but now this is my biggest hurdle.
How do I find her?
There are houses that say 'fairies found here' cuz obviously fairies are the kind of idiots who want to live in a dense fucking jungle.
My hope is lost and no fairy is gonna help me find her.
Come to me hope. Please.
Ugh
I look at the apathy of some people who without even seeing hope's picture tell me they haven't seen her that I curse them that their grandchild goes missing one day and they receive the same treatment from their neighbours.
A large older woman in loud voices so that others could hear told me that there are too many cats around and they're all outside and they all look the same and that I shouldn't have let her go out and that she hasn't seen my cat.
I felt like kicking her teeth.
But I bowed, Thanked her and went on ahead calling hope's name into the bushes.
What else could I do?
A large older woman in loud voices so that others could hear told me that there are too many cats around and they're all outside and they all look the same and that I shouldn't have let her go out and that she hasn't seen my cat.
I felt like kicking her teeth.
But I bowed, Thanked her and went on ahead calling hope's name into the bushes.
What else could I do?
No
There is no update on the group chat about hope. I don't think anyone cares.
I've shown her image to hundreds by now. They just shake their hands. Some say they will inform me and some just nod from afar.
Today I spent an entire afternoon scanning the cctv camera closest to my house to see if she could have gone from a particular place and there is no trace of her.
Which means she is somewhere behind the house.
My only worry is that she might have jumped the fence and gone on the roads. Slim chance but you never know.
I have however the last few days everyday scanned the backside of the roads, screamed her name in bushes, walked through thick foliage around walkways, hurt myself, got allergies and to no avail.
I keep telling myself that hope would never jump the fence knowing how non adventurous she is in such matters.
I know she would never go on the roads but after 3 days I will believe anything.
There's not a peep from her. Not a single meow.
If she was nearby would she not have returned to eat?
At this stage I just want to know if she is doing okay. Maybe she doesn't want to return to the house. That's alright but at least be well baby girl.
I feel I have no longer any right to remain happy . I feel guilty for doing anything other than looking for her.
Food doesn't pass down my throat and I feel ready to throw up at the mere thought of food.
I don't know why and where she is.
I feel hopeless.
I've shown her image to hundreds by now. They just shake their hands. Some say they will inform me and some just nod from afar.
Today I spent an entire afternoon scanning the cctv camera closest to my house to see if she could have gone from a particular place and there is no trace of her.
Which means she is somewhere behind the house.
My only worry is that she might have jumped the fence and gone on the roads. Slim chance but you never know.
I have however the last few days everyday scanned the backside of the roads, screamed her name in bushes, walked through thick foliage around walkways, hurt myself, got allergies and to no avail.
I keep telling myself that hope would never jump the fence knowing how non adventurous she is in such matters.
I know she would never go on the roads but after 3 days I will believe anything.
There's not a peep from her. Not a single meow.
If she was nearby would she not have returned to eat?
At this stage I just want to know if she is doing okay. Maybe she doesn't want to return to the house. That's alright but at least be well baby girl.
I feel I have no longer any right to remain happy . I feel guilty for doing anything other than looking for her.
Food doesn't pass down my throat and I feel ready to throw up at the mere thought of food.
I don't know why and where she is.
I feel hopeless.
Please
Never have I felt this desperate, distraught and helpless.
Every second that I don't find her I feel she's slipping away from me even further.
Where do I go? Where else do I look?
Every second that I don't find her I feel she's slipping away from me even further.
Where do I go? Where else do I look?
:(
I can no longer crawl out of bed to face the hopeless inevitability of every day.
My hope is missing.
I have ominous feelings.
She is lost.
Where is she?
My hope is missing.
I have ominous feelings.
She is lost.
Where is she?
Tuesday, 20 July 2021
Sighs
I'm So stupid that I say her name aloud when I come Home always wishing that maybe in my absence she has returned home through the window I left open for her.
Where are you?
When I'm not searching for her I'm crying and five minutes later out again in this ludicrous weather looking for my precious princess.
At this time all I want to know is that she's okay.
That she's not injured or trapped somewhere.
If she doesn't want to come home that's fine. Just let me know that you're doing okay my little darling.
At this time all I want to know is that she's okay.
That she's not injured or trapped somewhere.
If she doesn't want to come home that's fine. Just let me know that you're doing okay my little darling.
Tearing up
I have lost my appetite, practically willing myself to eat a few morsels of food everyday just so I have the energy to go out in this heat and look for hope.
I can't find her.
She cannot find me I think.
I feel like she was out playing and has lost her way.
I have shouted and screamed her name in every shrub and tree of this compound but to no avail .
I doubt she will go on to the roads.
Where is she?
How do I go on with her?
What do I do without her?
I can't find her.
She cannot find me I think.
I feel like she was out playing and has lost her way.
I have shouted and screamed her name in every shrub and tree of this compound but to no avail .
I doubt she will go on to the roads.
Where is she?
How do I go on with her?
What do I do without her?
I hate this
Next day and still no hope.
At this point I'm convinced she's lost.
Somewhere in the compound she ran and played and now cannot find her way back.
At this point I'm convinced she's lost.
Somewhere in the compound she ran and played and now cannot find her way back.
Monday, 19 July 2021
Nope
Past 8 and no hope in sight.
I am this close to getting fucked up and having a meltdown.
Come home babydoll
I am this close to getting fucked up and having a meltdown.
Come home babydoll
No dice
Past 4:30 in the PM and hope is nowhere to be seen.
She's been out for more than 12 hours now and around 11 it will be 24 hours.
I can't find her.
It's killing me.
I want to sob.
She's been out for more than 12 hours now and around 11 it will be 24 hours.
I can't find her.
It's killing me.
I want to sob.
This close to tearing up
I am disheveled.
Exhausted from walking and screaming hope's name to no avail and I'm pretty sure my neighbours are going to report me to the police for always lurking in their backyard calling random names.
Ugh!
It's hot, it's uncomfortable and my little girl hasn't come back home yet since last night.
She never does this.
Where is she?
I am turning into a shadow.
These few weeks have been tough. They've been incomparably hectic and I've had little sleep from all the feline shenanigans.
All I want is for all the cats to just find peace here and now hope is the final instalment who has taken to running and not returning.
All the cats have done that only hope remained and lo!
However I am worried about my little darling because she is not the stray cats most are.
She is a pampered little fatty who hasn't come back home yet and I am this close to dropping dead.
I haven't had my usual morning mugs of water and tea.
It's been over 5 hours.
I've looked on the roads, looked all over the compound and got consolations from everyone, telling me that 'your cat will be back.'
Well, okay! But when?
I mean every second is weighing heavier and I'm visualising that moment when she'd come back and I'd feed her and finally hit the bed and get some sleep.
I just want to be sure and aware that everyone around me is safe and happy and right now I don't have that assurity.
Come back hope!
Eat your food.
Exhausted from walking and screaming hope's name to no avail and I'm pretty sure my neighbours are going to report me to the police for always lurking in their backyard calling random names.
Ugh!
It's hot, it's uncomfortable and my little girl hasn't come back home yet since last night.
She never does this.
Where is she?
I am turning into a shadow.
These few weeks have been tough. They've been incomparably hectic and I've had little sleep from all the feline shenanigans.
All I want is for all the cats to just find peace here and now hope is the final instalment who has taken to running and not returning.
All the cats have done that only hope remained and lo!
However I am worried about my little darling because she is not the stray cats most are.
She is a pampered little fatty who hasn't come back home yet and I am this close to dropping dead.
I haven't had my usual morning mugs of water and tea.
It's been over 5 hours.
I've looked on the roads, looked all over the compound and got consolations from everyone, telling me that 'your cat will be back.'
Well, okay! But when?
I mean every second is weighing heavier and I'm visualising that moment when she'd come back and I'd feed her and finally hit the bed and get some sleep.
I just want to be sure and aware that everyone around me is safe and happy and right now I don't have that assurity.
Come back hope!
Eat your food.
Since last night
Hope has been out since last night and hasn't returned.
I have looked all over for her since early morning and not a peep.
I am distressed. I have anxiety and I'm on the verge of bawling.
Where is my baby?
She never stays out so late.
Is she not hungry?
Why won't she come back?
I have looked all over for her since early morning and not a peep.
I am distressed. I have anxiety and I'm on the verge of bawling.
Where is my baby?
She never stays out so late.
Is she not hungry?
Why won't she come back?
Sunday, 18 July 2021
Improv
I can't fucking stop sweating!
Also a housekeeper has come and she's one for the one time a week but I will take what I can get right now.
Also a housekeeper has come and she's one for the one time a week but I will take what I can get right now.
Ooh la la
Sunday and the heat has seeped into my house while the chores slowly get done in the background.
It's the uncomfortable sad heat which threatens to build beads of perspiration in between every fan pulse.
Today a lot is going to be done.
All the awnings will get fixed. The front and even my balcony and I look forward to sitting under the shade during better weather.
I still need to fix the backyard and I got a civil engineer's perspective along with design and notes on it (from my dad) and the plan suggested is what we will start working on.
I am going to elevate the slope with some brickwork and cementing and create small channels to divert the water thusly creating separate slopes.
The front yard has been cleaned and there are a lot of thought on how to jeuje it up without grass and I have thought scattering wood chips would be a great idea.
We will get to that phase soon even though it feel under phase 1, it's taken longer due to technical difficulties.
—
Edit: I had started this post a couple hours ago and never got around to posting it cuz I got busy in this and that cuz today has no chill.
It's the uncomfortable sad heat which threatens to build beads of perspiration in between every fan pulse.
Today a lot is going to be done.
All the awnings will get fixed. The front and even my balcony and I look forward to sitting under the shade during better weather.
I still need to fix the backyard and I got a civil engineer's perspective along with design and notes on it (from my dad) and the plan suggested is what we will start working on.
I am going to elevate the slope with some brickwork and cementing and create small channels to divert the water thusly creating separate slopes.
The front yard has been cleaned and there are a lot of thought on how to jeuje it up without grass and I have thought scattering wood chips would be a great idea.
We will get to that phase soon even though it feel under phase 1, it's taken longer due to technical difficulties.
—
Edit: I had started this post a couple hours ago and never got around to posting it cuz I got busy in this and that cuz today has no chill.
Saturday, 17 July 2021
Lots of etc
Who me?
Just finished making lunch at 15:27. Such an anomaly!
But my lord it's only because I have been digging, raking, shovelling and preparing my backyard and front to make a garden.
The contractor I had hired had actually told me that what I really needed was a JCB and a big compacting machine to flatten and level the land to go ahead with any gardening and the rates he mentioned for this purpose were enough that I could buy a house, so I let the man be and decided that what's needed can be done by the two people who need a garden or at least a backyard desperately.
Whatever little masonry work etc that will be needed I will get someone and also have someone help with the landscaping and perhaps going about in bits and pieces is better than the earlier proposition.
And so I have begun the initial phase of cleaning and tilling the shitty soil in the backyard that killed my rosemary and basil that I'd planted in it.
Yes that's a sad story for another time but I am going to get a better layer of soil to plant stuff, and also I've decided to scatter wood chips because making a lawn here is pointless since all the trees make far too much shadow to actually sustain any grass.
So!
The soil is turned, a lot of debris and filth is pulled out and now I wait for a gardener I'd called to suggest and help with whatever can be done.
The awning for backyard is now in place and actually it looks decent enough to put a couple chairs, but the issue with this place is that the house is on a slope and whenever it rains, the water drains down and collects on the porch area.
This is such a helpless issue that indeed the only option is to excavate the land on top and make it at the same level, creating a slope from the house towards backyard..but again, it ain't my fight to fight and so I shall diplomatically circumvent the issue with smaller, more simpler albeit less efficient solutions.
I will soon buy some concrete, some sand and bricks and begin the levelling procedure in places I am going to make my own.
—
Hope was found at 3 in the morning last night, playing with another cat in a completely different area of this compound.
I cannot imagine how she got there.
Just finished making lunch at 15:27. Such an anomaly!
But my lord it's only because I have been digging, raking, shovelling and preparing my backyard and front to make a garden.
The contractor I had hired had actually told me that what I really needed was a JCB and a big compacting machine to flatten and level the land to go ahead with any gardening and the rates he mentioned for this purpose were enough that I could buy a house, so I let the man be and decided that what's needed can be done by the two people who need a garden or at least a backyard desperately.
Whatever little masonry work etc that will be needed I will get someone and also have someone help with the landscaping and perhaps going about in bits and pieces is better than the earlier proposition.
And so I have begun the initial phase of cleaning and tilling the shitty soil in the backyard that killed my rosemary and basil that I'd planted in it.
Yes that's a sad story for another time but I am going to get a better layer of soil to plant stuff, and also I've decided to scatter wood chips because making a lawn here is pointless since all the trees make far too much shadow to actually sustain any grass.
So!
The soil is turned, a lot of debris and filth is pulled out and now I wait for a gardener I'd called to suggest and help with whatever can be done.
The awning for backyard is now in place and actually it looks decent enough to put a couple chairs, but the issue with this place is that the house is on a slope and whenever it rains, the water drains down and collects on the porch area.
This is such a helpless issue that indeed the only option is to excavate the land on top and make it at the same level, creating a slope from the house towards backyard..but again, it ain't my fight to fight and so I shall diplomatically circumvent the issue with smaller, more simpler albeit less efficient solutions.
I will soon buy some concrete, some sand and bricks and begin the levelling procedure in places I am going to make my own.
—
Hope was found at 3 in the morning last night, playing with another cat in a completely different area of this compound.
I cannot imagine how she got there.
Please
1 in the AM and hope has been missing for a few hours now .
She's not responding which is unlike like her and she isn't coming back home as she usually does after a few minutes of outside frolic these days.
I am worried sick.
What the fuck!
She's not responding which is unlike like her and she isn't coming back home as she usually does after a few minutes of outside frolic these days.
I am worried sick.
What the fuck!
Friday, 16 July 2021
Rant as usual
Friday finally and I sit bathed in sweat!
In a short while I will make me a cuppa and relax for ten minutes before getting into the world of chores that are never ending.
I still have no luck finding housekeepers and this is getting a bit distressing.
Ah well! Soon I will find one.
Last time also it took me a few months to get a good housekeeper and she was with me till the very last Sunday. Sounds like I'm dead or dying. Actually I'm dying indeed.
This weather isn't giving me a break.
Two minutes away from full ac or fan and my body leeches moisture like a bottle out of a refrigerator and can you believe it I have taken to sipping cold cold cold fridge water in the morning with my lemon.
I have finished swiping the house with a large dry mop and vacuumed and wet mopped just the two most frequently used floors.
I know this is a bit lazy but I can't do the whole cleaning mopping vacuuming dusting on every floor every day.
I will surely die or something, speaking of which I have to make a time table.
One day is for dusting +dining area and lounge hall
One day for cleaning the bedroom +dining area and lounge hall
One day for middle floor+dining area and lounge hall
One day for bathrooms +dining area and lounge hall.
Sounds so much fun!!!
I need a housekeeper asap!
In a short while I will make me a cuppa and relax for ten minutes before getting into the world of chores that are never ending.
I still have no luck finding housekeepers and this is getting a bit distressing.
Ah well! Soon I will find one.
Last time also it took me a few months to get a good housekeeper and she was with me till the very last Sunday. Sounds like I'm dead or dying. Actually I'm dying indeed.
This weather isn't giving me a break.
Two minutes away from full ac or fan and my body leeches moisture like a bottle out of a refrigerator and can you believe it I have taken to sipping cold cold cold fridge water in the morning with my lemon.
I have finished swiping the house with a large dry mop and vacuumed and wet mopped just the two most frequently used floors.
I know this is a bit lazy but I can't do the whole cleaning mopping vacuuming dusting on every floor every day.
I will surely die or something, speaking of which I have to make a time table.
One day is for dusting +dining area and lounge hall
One day for cleaning the bedroom +dining area and lounge hall
One day for middle floor+dining area and lounge hall
One day for bathrooms +dining area and lounge hall.
Sounds so much fun!!!
I need a housekeeper asap!
Thursday, 15 July 2021
Wee dates
Thursday morning and I'm sweating profusely already.
The basic chores are done with and I'm sipping some tea before embarking on some major work today.
I've taken to wearing ankle support because my heel is back to being painful what with the constant up and down and hurting that same area a few times by way of bumping into things and walking on pebbles that dug into the tender spot in my heel.
I thought that perhaps I need to take matters into my own hands and then came in ankle support which surprisingly has really helped lessen the hurt.
Let's see how it goes from here.
Right!
The heat is beating down and my cats are hating how hot it is but they've been chasing a bunch of magpies in my garden.
I'll feel horrible if they kill anyone.
The basic chores are done with and I'm sipping some tea before embarking on some major work today.
I've taken to wearing ankle support because my heel is back to being painful what with the constant up and down and hurting that same area a few times by way of bumping into things and walking on pebbles that dug into the tender spot in my heel.
I thought that perhaps I need to take matters into my own hands and then came in ankle support which surprisingly has really helped lessen the hurt.
Let's see how it goes from here.
Right!
The heat is beating down and my cats are hating how hot it is but they've been chasing a bunch of magpies in my garden.
I'll feel horrible if they kill anyone.
Wednesday, 14 July 2021
Time and time
My house is still in pieces. 
There's a red chair, a blue plastic stool and packed awnings with Gogi asleep on them still in the middle of my lounge.
I cannot imagine how and when will I ever get done with it all?
Have patience they say.
You've been here just a short while.
Setting up a house takes time.
Yes, I believe it
In another timezone
My mom had helped a group of kinnars during lockdown this year. 
They came to meet her after getting vaccinated.
Somebody stop me
I have to physically make myself stop from shopping online.
I keep finding things from small shops, hand made and beautiful that I cannot stop from clicking into and buying.
My online shopping cart is full and I'm glad that it's infinite because I am having far too much fun going giddy with all the new amazing finds.
Have I found the most gorgeous runner or what?!!
And the most modish avant garde vases or what?
I cannot wait to start going nuts.
I keep finding things from small shops, hand made and beautiful that I cannot stop from clicking into and buying.
My online shopping cart is full and I'm glad that it's infinite because I am having far too much fun going giddy with all the new amazing finds.
Have I found the most gorgeous runner or what?!!
And the most modish avant garde vases or what?
I cannot wait to start going nuts.
Zip line damn
Such is life right now
I just barely got done with heating some water for coffee, much needed and strongly advised by moi to myself that one of the cats returned looking like they'd been rolling about in hell.
I could barely recognise the little baby because he was besmirched in wet dirt, trailing behind him a map of filthy paws and flakes of mud that accentuated my beautifully cleaned tiles with filth chic.
I had just bathed and lunched after a gruelling day of house and garden, hoping and looking forward to a much needed respite with a cup of coffee before going back into the drill that is my new house, except that respite would have to wait cuz I needed to clean him and later feed him.
The dirt had caked and dried and washing was the only option except it was out of question and so i scrubbed him with a kitchen towel instead.
Right!
Cleaning and feeding done!
To the coffee then I stupidly thought and another cat came in demanding food.
Right! so then again I had to feed all the cats and only after that was done could I finally embark on my coffee which was now beginning to feel like a mission.
And now?
I type and drink.
(Kisses)
I just barely got done with heating some water for coffee, much needed and strongly advised by moi to myself that one of the cats returned looking like they'd been rolling about in hell.
I could barely recognise the little baby because he was besmirched in wet dirt, trailing behind him a map of filthy paws and flakes of mud that accentuated my beautifully cleaned tiles with filth chic.
I had just bathed and lunched after a gruelling day of house and garden, hoping and looking forward to a much needed respite with a cup of coffee before going back into the drill that is my new house, except that respite would have to wait cuz I needed to clean him and later feed him.
The dirt had caked and dried and washing was the only option except it was out of question and so i scrubbed him with a kitchen towel instead.
Right!
Cleaning and feeding done!
To the coffee then I stupidly thought and another cat came in demanding food.
Right! so then again I had to feed all the cats and only after that was done could I finally embark on my coffee which was now beginning to feel like a mission.
And now?
I type and drink.
(Kisses)
Disappointment
Wednesday morning and I have no luck with finding a housekeeper who is willing to work twice a week.
Everyone wants to come everyday for two hours and that's too much for me.
I can't have the constant noise and an extra person flitting about the house everyday for two hours.
I just need someone to come and spruce up the house twice a week and that's that.
Why is it so difficult?
Everyone wants to come everyday for two hours and that's too much for me.
I can't have the constant noise and an extra person flitting about the house everyday for two hours.
I just need someone to come and spruce up the house twice a week and that's that.
Why is it so difficult?
Tuesday, 13 July 2021
Ugh
My parents got vaxed yesterday and they're so out of it it's almost worrisome.
It took them a day and a half to start feeling back to normal which is still better than my brother and his wife cuz it took them all of week to get back to normal.
Take it easy darling.
Workouts are not important right now. Be well.
It took them a day and a half to start feeling back to normal which is still better than my brother and his wife cuz it took them all of week to get back to normal.
Take it easy darling.
Workouts are not important right now. Be well.
Bits about
This weather is melting me.
I am Forever slicked with sweat. I'm flaunting my unfuckable best. Always wiping my forehead, baring a sweat ridden visage that soaks my clothes and beads of perspiration trickling down my cleavage and waist makes me feel uncomfortable extreme.
The only solution is to sit in air conditioning but how does one work about the house this way?
Ugh!
The new rug has come in and it's bluer than the grey i'd expected.
Hand woven and what not but not entirely as appealing as I'd liked.
Just goes on to show how unreliable online stuff can be even though it was made to order.
The feel under my feet however is soft and magnificent.
I almost feel bad for not liking this design as much as I thought I would.
It's nicely simple and the geometric pattern has the somber aura of seriousness one would expect from an adult house but do I love it?
Nope!
But that's okay.
I can change it once the weather turns cold.
I am Forever slicked with sweat. I'm flaunting my unfuckable best. Always wiping my forehead, baring a sweat ridden visage that soaks my clothes and beads of perspiration trickling down my cleavage and waist makes me feel uncomfortable extreme.
The only solution is to sit in air conditioning but how does one work about the house this way?
Ugh!
The new rug has come in and it's bluer than the grey i'd expected.
Hand woven and what not but not entirely as appealing as I'd liked.
Just goes on to show how unreliable online stuff can be even though it was made to order.
The feel under my feet however is soft and magnificent.
I almost feel bad for not liking this design as much as I thought I would.
It's nicely simple and the geometric pattern has the somber aura of seriousness one would expect from an adult house but do I love it?
Nope!
But that's okay.
I can change it once the weather turns cold.
Tuesday ugh
Tuesday morning and I am bathed in swat after cleaning 1/4 of the house.
Everyday I clean the dining area and the ground floor and the stairs in between.
The rest of the house happens when it happens since it's a bit devoid of too many human and cat proclivities but even so.
Sometimes in the evening when I feel like it needs sprucing I do it, etc etc.
drinking a spot of cool water with a spritz of lemon and contemplating today.
Yesterday was a bit of success since I found quite a few things including storage units and today I am going to do the study room since the big bed got dismantled yesterday.
However it has no place to go so it's stacked up against the wall of that room until such time as I figure out what and where of it. Even so, that room has got ample space and I have also bought curtains to go but they're too long and now I'll have to get them customised.
It never ends.
Right then!
A lot of tea to get me going this Tuesday.
Onwards!
Everyday I clean the dining area and the ground floor and the stairs in between.
The rest of the house happens when it happens since it's a bit devoid of too many human and cat proclivities but even so.
Sometimes in the evening when I feel like it needs sprucing I do it, etc etc.
drinking a spot of cool water with a spritz of lemon and contemplating today.
Yesterday was a bit of success since I found quite a few things including storage units and today I am going to do the study room since the big bed got dismantled yesterday.
However it has no place to go so it's stacked up against the wall of that room until such time as I figure out what and where of it. Even so, that room has got ample space and I have also bought curtains to go but they're too long and now I'll have to get them customised.
It never ends.
Right then!
A lot of tea to get me going this Tuesday.
Onwards!
Monday, 12 July 2021
Yikes
I am not used to such white bedroom walls.
Still trying to adjust to a very bright and white bedroom.
Sighs. But okay!
Still trying to adjust to a very bright and white bedroom.
Sighs. But okay!
Okay a chair
I have never not been in love with all that's rattan and this chair is an example of my heart. 
I'm gonna put a neat cushion and sit the fuck outta this chair
Sunday, 11 July 2021
Is it death already?
Okay okay phew!
I've had some days the past couple days and they've been rough. Factor in the extreme heat and humidity and we have a certain death of moi because I cannot seem to cope with this weather.
It rains, it's hot, it rains, it's hot and today the heatwave is so damp that it had me melting most obnoxiously.
My face streamed down my cheeks.
My sunscreen cascaded down my décolletage and into my dress while I walked outside to enter a mall to go to a particular superstore that houses a few things I need.
It was chaotic .
I lost my zeal to live and my understanding of life as it is because my brain lost its footing and my circuits started sizzling their wires snapping and fraying.
Say one thing about me say I cannot understand not tolerate this heat.
Yesterday was busy as usual and today I have only just got back into the house sweating to not leave my casa until the weather fixes itself. I don't mind heat, but I do mind this damp, hamam like steam room heat. Gimme dry weather anytime. Yes I'll complain about my lips chapping and what not but I won't be dying.
Now I sit in front of the ac, the fan on full blast while drinking iced water.
I cannot drink anything other than iced water these days.
—
I'd ordered a very beautiful picture that I intended to stick on my bathroom tiles because one of the tiles seems mangled and I didn't like the look of it.
Looks like the picture I ordered in cms turned out in inches and now I have a huge thing on my hands and I don't know what to do about it. :/
I've had some days the past couple days and they've been rough. Factor in the extreme heat and humidity and we have a certain death of moi because I cannot seem to cope with this weather.
It rains, it's hot, it rains, it's hot and today the heatwave is so damp that it had me melting most obnoxiously.
My face streamed down my cheeks.
My sunscreen cascaded down my décolletage and into my dress while I walked outside to enter a mall to go to a particular superstore that houses a few things I need.
It was chaotic .
I lost my zeal to live and my understanding of life as it is because my brain lost its footing and my circuits started sizzling their wires snapping and fraying.
Say one thing about me say I cannot understand not tolerate this heat.
Yesterday was busy as usual and today I have only just got back into the house sweating to not leave my casa until the weather fixes itself. I don't mind heat, but I do mind this damp, hamam like steam room heat. Gimme dry weather anytime. Yes I'll complain about my lips chapping and what not but I won't be dying.
Now I sit in front of the ac, the fan on full blast while drinking iced water.
I cannot drink anything other than iced water these days.
—
I'd ordered a very beautiful picture that I intended to stick on my bathroom tiles because one of the tiles seems mangled and I didn't like the look of it.
Looks like the picture I ordered in cms turned out in inches and now I have a huge thing on my hands and I don't know what to do about it. :/
Friday, 9 July 2021
Thursday, 8 July 2021
List by bit
Say one thing about today say it happened too quick.
The kind of of furniture I wanted I couldn't find, however I did find some nifty useful kitchen things which I was quick to buy after which we lunched and then went for a bit of retail therapy.
I didn't much really buy anything except a camisole but my friend found some place that had a 'sale' going and she didn't hold back.
I wonder how does one justify this whole sale business when they end up spending more than what they would usually.
Anyway home, cats, dinner, audiobook, a piece of chocolate and a bit of YouTube is in order now.
The kind of of furniture I wanted I couldn't find, however I did find some nifty useful kitchen things which I was quick to buy after which we lunched and then went for a bit of retail therapy.
I didn't much really buy anything except a camisole but my friend found some place that had a 'sale' going and she didn't hold back.
I wonder how does one justify this whole sale business when they end up spending more than what they would usually.
Anyway home, cats, dinner, audiobook, a piece of chocolate and a bit of YouTube is in order now.
Lots of it
Thursday is here with a renewed surge of humidity that threatens to cut off the oxygen supply to your brain with its stifling nature.
I have slowly got back the old routine of waking up and doing a few chores such as they are cuz I can't possible get on with the same cleaning and sprucing up the house as old times cuz this place is large and with too many floors, so I take care of the main space which is the kitchen and dining and the downstairs lounge area, leaving the rest of the house for later in the day and so far it's working for me.
Okay, today I go out to a furniture store and do a spot of shopping, mostly smaller things that I need on the immediate and perhaps place order for some large stuff as well, if I like it that is.
I don't believe in shopping for your every furniture from that one store, instead I like to mix it up with different places and it's much helpful and better to buy from lesser known or independent places because the furniture etc will be unique with little to no chance of others having the same.
I have to also plan a trip to an antique market, not because I'm hugely big on vintage stuff but because it's going to be a lot of things which are not made anymore and that makes it conveniently unique.
Also I have to meet a friend who wants to explore this side of the city, as do I, and we have decided to hit a Thai joint for some hot pot before actually embarking on our urban galavanting moment.
Right then!
To a bit of tea and also why is this weather so hard on my bananas? I mean they start wilting a couple days after I've bought them in their almost raw avatar? I have had to freeze them today because they got too weepy and as delicious as soft bananas are in a smoothie, they're quite disgusting when eaten normally.
Okay!
Onwards and upwards and kisses galore darling.
I have slowly got back the old routine of waking up and doing a few chores such as they are cuz I can't possible get on with the same cleaning and sprucing up the house as old times cuz this place is large and with too many floors, so I take care of the main space which is the kitchen and dining and the downstairs lounge area, leaving the rest of the house for later in the day and so far it's working for me.
Okay, today I go out to a furniture store and do a spot of shopping, mostly smaller things that I need on the immediate and perhaps place order for some large stuff as well, if I like it that is.
I don't believe in shopping for your every furniture from that one store, instead I like to mix it up with different places and it's much helpful and better to buy from lesser known or independent places because the furniture etc will be unique with little to no chance of others having the same.
I have to also plan a trip to an antique market, not because I'm hugely big on vintage stuff but because it's going to be a lot of things which are not made anymore and that makes it conveniently unique.
Also I have to meet a friend who wants to explore this side of the city, as do I, and we have decided to hit a Thai joint for some hot pot before actually embarking on our urban galavanting moment.
Right then!
To a bit of tea and also why is this weather so hard on my bananas? I mean they start wilting a couple days after I've bought them in their almost raw avatar? I have had to freeze them today because they got too weepy and as delicious as soft bananas are in a smoothie, they're quite disgusting when eaten normally.
Okay!
Onwards and upwards and kisses galore darling.
Wednesday, 7 July 2021
Ins and outs
Correction!
I have finished the 4th audiobook in death before dragons and not 5th as I thought.
But I shall begin the 5th one soon. Once I start cooking dinner that is.
Today has been only slightly exhausting and I sit sipping tea after having finished cleaning the entrance and adding a couple mats to the entrance and the foyer.
I am looking at beautiful things online to add to my house. Random silly things like a brass vase, beautiful ceramic pots for plants and tiny tables to add to my garden. Some kitsch, Some elegant and some even distressed.
I have finished the 4th audiobook in death before dragons and not 5th as I thought.
But I shall begin the 5th one soon. Once I start cooking dinner that is.
Today has been only slightly exhausting and I sit sipping tea after having finished cleaning the entrance and adding a couple mats to the entrance and the foyer.
I am looking at beautiful things online to add to my house. Random silly things like a brass vase, beautiful ceramic pots for plants and tiny tables to add to my garden. Some kitsch, Some elegant and some even distressed.
Today a Wednesday
Wednesday morning and I sit here with my morning cup of tea slowly trying to figure out a routine wherein I can get in with my morning habits as I'm used to instead of running about the entire day and taking out a few moments to myself.
This morning repose is most essential for me which was absent the last few weeks and that made made coping with rest of the day more difficult.
Slowly I'll start fitting in around the setting of everyday or perhaps the settings will mould around me to better fix me in a space which makes it more convenient to habituate myself in the new groove.
I am a creature of habit and it's most essential for me to find a routine and stick to it in order to feel normal or make sense of everyday. I hate floating! I'd rather fly.
Finally the sound system is set up and I have the music on and I'm wondering if I can rig my whole house with speakers so that I can listen to music that's playing in the lounge literally everywhere I go.
It's hot!
It's humid.
It's not good.
There's rain forecast in the afternoon and I wonder what it's going to feel like in this weather because the sun is heating up overhead and there will be rains in this absolutely blazing disaster of a weather.
God the dampness is going to be overwhelming. But what of it?
Agenda today includes a bit more cleaning about and what not.
Other than that I'm not taxed because I will be doing some bit of garden work and dying in the process.
This morning repose is most essential for me which was absent the last few weeks and that made made coping with rest of the day more difficult.
Slowly I'll start fitting in around the setting of everyday or perhaps the settings will mould around me to better fix me in a space which makes it more convenient to habituate myself in the new groove.
I am a creature of habit and it's most essential for me to find a routine and stick to it in order to feel normal or make sense of everyday. I hate floating! I'd rather fly.
Finally the sound system is set up and I have the music on and I'm wondering if I can rig my whole house with speakers so that I can listen to music that's playing in the lounge literally everywhere I go.
It's hot!
It's humid.
It's not good.
There's rain forecast in the afternoon and I wonder what it's going to feel like in this weather because the sun is heating up overhead and there will be rains in this absolutely blazing disaster of a weather.
God the dampness is going to be overwhelming. But what of it?
Agenda today includes a bit more cleaning about and what not.
Other than that I'm not taxed because I will be doing some bit of garden work and dying in the process.
Tuesday, 6 July 2021
Phew! Cat updates
Meera returned last night. Soaked to the bones and crying.
He has injured himself.
Gogi returned this morning acting like it was the most normal thing to randomly escape in a strange place and show up 24 hours later.
I held him and scolded him and he listened to my every complaint understanding. In return he licked my face and assured me that he won't ever get lost.
I am at peace.
I am happy and maybe now I can finally eat food like a normal person.
The three aforementioned cats have once again left my premises and this time with my permission.
Now that I'm aware that they know their way around I can let them go.
I'm still a bit skeptical about Meera because he has hurt himself and yet refuses to stay indoors. He's a default stray.
My plan to let them out happened almost three weeks too early. I was hoping for my
Garden to happen and fences to get constructed but they decided otherwise.
Of course I'm not letting out hope anytime soon because she will really get lost.
The horror stories I hear about cats getting lost in new places and the ensuing problems that happen like dying on roads or getting mauled by strange dogs or getting lost and never coming back thankfully didn't happen to my babies, perhaps because they stayed close but my only contention is that why didn't they respond with a small meow as they usually do when I call out their names.
This would have assured me and I wouldn't have exerted myself in a a way that had me shattered and in tears all day.
Cats are assholes.
He has injured himself.
Gogi returned this morning acting like it was the most normal thing to randomly escape in a strange place and show up 24 hours later.
I held him and scolded him and he listened to my every complaint understanding. In return he licked my face and assured me that he won't ever get lost.
I am at peace.
I am happy and maybe now I can finally eat food like a normal person.
The three aforementioned cats have once again left my premises and this time with my permission.
Now that I'm aware that they know their way around I can let them go.
I'm still a bit skeptical about Meera because he has hurt himself and yet refuses to stay indoors. He's a default stray.
My plan to let them out happened almost three weeks too early. I was hoping for my
Garden to happen and fences to get constructed but they decided otherwise.
Of course I'm not letting out hope anytime soon because she will really get lost.
The horror stories I hear about cats getting lost in new places and the ensuing problems that happen like dying on roads or getting mauled by strange dogs or getting lost and never coming back thankfully didn't happen to my babies, perhaps because they stayed close but my only contention is that why didn't they respond with a small meow as they usually do when I call out their names.
This would have assured me and I wouldn't have exerted myself in a a way that had me shattered and in tears all day.
Cats are assholes.
Monday, 5 July 2021
Updates
Twinkle has returned! In thag he didn't enter the house but came and ate the food I'd left in the garden. Showed his face and ran off!
That I more than enough really at this juncture.
All I want is to know they're fine.
But where is are Gogi and Meera?
My throat is hoarse calling for them all day.
My eyes have lost all moisture and I've barely eaten all day.
Ugh!
That I more than enough really at this juncture.
All I want is to know they're fine.
But where is are Gogi and Meera?
My throat is hoarse calling for them all day.
My eyes have lost all moisture and I've barely eaten all day.
Ugh!
Nope
Every 10 minutes I feel that this might be the right time to go and look for my babies and every time I return home disappointed and in a worse shape than ever.
I am so upset with myself and worried about the little ones.
They're not responding to my pleas if they're listening and they're mostly certainly too elusive for my eyes.
I am kicking myself for overlooking this slight on our home security preparation for cats and still can't come to terms with the fact that just last night I was pampering them on my lap and suddenly today they're not home.
I keep being told 'don't worry they'll return' and I wish this sentence did enough to uplift me.
It's not working and I am overwhelmed.
As it is I've been stressed and exhausted with the new house and it's not even set up yet and I can't do it all on my own and yet I'm overworking myself to a point where I get so fatigued and mentally extinguished that I make mistakes like not locking the back door and thinking it okay just because it was shut.
I mean come on!!
I am so angry I could break.
Just took a medicine for my headache and now I need to eat something cuz I've not eaten a bite nor even had my morning tea .
Running on a half glass of water and fear for my babies.
I have cried more than I've sweated today.
I am so upset with myself and worried about the little ones.
They're not responding to my pleas if they're listening and they're mostly certainly too elusive for my eyes.
I am kicking myself for overlooking this slight on our home security preparation for cats and still can't come to terms with the fact that just last night I was pampering them on my lap and suddenly today they're not home.
I keep being told 'don't worry they'll return' and I wish this sentence did enough to uplift me.
It's not working and I am overwhelmed.
As it is I've been stressed and exhausted with the new house and it's not even set up yet and I can't do it all on my own and yet I'm overworking myself to a point where I get so fatigued and mentally extinguished that I make mistakes like not locking the back door and thinking it okay just because it was shut.
I mean come on!!
I am so angry I could break.
Just took a medicine for my headache and now I need to eat something cuz I've not eaten a bite nor even had my morning tea .
Running on a half glass of water and fear for my babies.
I have cried more than I've sweated today.
What I feared
Seppuku
Is what I should commit because I was dumb enough to not lock the back door after cleaning the garden and somehow some cat managed to push and open it because the damn door knob isn't very effective and now I have three cats (Gogi, Meera and Twinkle) missing.
Twinkle isn't as much missing as not wanting to come back since I have seen him around the house but Gogi and Meera are MIA.
I sound like it's funny to me but in fact I've been looking for them since 5 in the morning and crying my eyes out searching for them.
I didn't find them and they refuse to been and aren't responding to my calls either.
Normally I wouldn't have much worried but this is a completely new place and they've been here barely 48 hours and decided escaping is the best way out.
I mean I know they were traumatised but I knew they'd be fine soon but I was not responsible enough to be able to give them a safe environment.
To think last night as I was drawing the curtains I saw the back door safely shut and didn't think to turn the knob to check and lock it for good .
How could I have been so careless.
Now my stupidity has resulted in my three cats running off and I can't find them.
I'm crying and hurting and wondering if I shouldn't even have moved in the first place.
None of this would have ever happened.
What was I thinking?
I figured once the garden was clean and a little fixed I'd let them out and then what? They'd not have still run away?
Ugh!!!
I don't know what to do .
I've given myself a migraine.
My neighbours have seen me crying and what else could go wrong?
What a fucking Monday.
Is what I should commit because I was dumb enough to not lock the back door after cleaning the garden and somehow some cat managed to push and open it because the damn door knob isn't very effective and now I have three cats (Gogi, Meera and Twinkle) missing.
Twinkle isn't as much missing as not wanting to come back since I have seen him around the house but Gogi and Meera are MIA.
I sound like it's funny to me but in fact I've been looking for them since 5 in the morning and crying my eyes out searching for them.
I didn't find them and they refuse to been and aren't responding to my calls either.
Normally I wouldn't have much worried but this is a completely new place and they've been here barely 48 hours and decided escaping is the best way out.
I mean I know they were traumatised but I knew they'd be fine soon but I was not responsible enough to be able to give them a safe environment.
To think last night as I was drawing the curtains I saw the back door safely shut and didn't think to turn the knob to check and lock it for good .
How could I have been so careless.
Now my stupidity has resulted in my three cats running off and I can't find them.
I'm crying and hurting and wondering if I shouldn't even have moved in the first place.
None of this would have ever happened.
What was I thinking?
I figured once the garden was clean and a little fixed I'd let them out and then what? They'd not have still run away?
Ugh!!!
I don't know what to do .
I've given myself a migraine.
My neighbours have seen me crying and what else could go wrong?
What a fucking Monday.
Sunday, 4 July 2021
In other news
My neighbour has 11 cats!
She doesn't live in that house either. It's for the cats.
She lives across the street.
Whoah!!
She doesn't live in that house either. It's for the cats.
She lives across the street.
Whoah!!
Saturday, 3 July 2021
T I R E D
And my day isn't even over yet! 
Every day I come to this point of exhaustion when I'm just mechanically working, lifting each foot to take a step even though I'm just about ready to drop down.
It's all almost done.
The cats have been brought and they're traumatised. Al of them camped under the sofa which I've temporarily covered with a cover to keep from anxious cats from ruining.
This is gonna take a While.
Friday, 2 July 2021
Happiness death
Who me? 
Just washing my windows in the rain and flashing a smile even though I'm exhausted and my every limb is screaming.
Thursday, 1 July 2021
Updates
9:20 AM and I'm sitting in my new home, about to sweat, working still because heavens help me!
Everyday without fail this week since Tuesday I've been hauling thing up and down, opening packages, stuffing their contents into cabinets and drawers as best as I can to get this house prepared by the end of this week so we can move in.
The fine tuning etc can keep happening after but for now this place has to get stuffed with my stuff which is stowed away into nooks and crannies, cleaned, washed and disinfected and complete so that I can bring the rest of my fur family.
It's been exhausting yes!
Everyday I end up burning more calories than when I exercise or so my watch tells me and I am bone tired by the end of the day, so much so that all I can manage after a shower is deep sleep and the next day is the same.
I reach this place early morning and start working.
Around 9 I stroll out of the compound to the nearest coffee shop and get some coffee and a Chinese crepe from the street stall next to it and I don't know how I should feel about the fact that I had only to walk into the coffee shop today for the barista to immediately start making my order without me even ordering it.
He handed it to me as I gaped and paid.
Ditto for the crepe stall lady!
Am I such a creature of habit?
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