Nighttime and the words want to delete themselves
vary to be strewn about heedless
anxiously going awry
desperately wanting to die
to keep from getting typed
On white screen with black dye
digital abominations that wish to dissolve
in digital extinction under binary sky.
Wednesday, 28 February 2018
Foodstatic
Ever eaten so much you felt your rib cage was going to unfasten? Apparently I did, just now, and I didn't even eat all that much..just my standard fare and yet here I am, clutching my stomach to keep it from exploding.
Could be the fact that I felt greedy and ate three bowlfuls of curry, because it was goddamn delicious. Yeah, I think that's the reason.
Calling forth bulimia now.
Could be the fact that I felt greedy and ate three bowlfuls of curry, because it was goddamn delicious. Yeah, I think that's the reason.
Calling forth bulimia now.
In a beat
The internet decided to play dirty and I've thus abandoned my machine for the day.
The nightmares of having your videos switch to 144p, for posts to get saved to draft and never publish, to have a blank page stay displayed for the longest time only to have an error message at the end of fifteen minute long wait. Ah, the frustration is most real, and how long does one let the internet suck the pleasure out of fun. There's only so much one can take, and I have taken and called it quits for today.
Now I sit and trawl the pages of the web from another gadget. Hah! The needs to stay connected.
Neo wouldn't approve. He had to red pill himself to get rid of the hooks and here we are swallowing blue pill after another to get hard and stay grafted in artificially constructed worlds of our alternate realities.
The refresh button beckons, the hearts flutters and soul longs a kiss.
The nightmares of having your videos switch to 144p, for posts to get saved to draft and never publish, to have a blank page stay displayed for the longest time only to have an error message at the end of fifteen minute long wait. Ah, the frustration is most real, and how long does one let the internet suck the pleasure out of fun. There's only so much one can take, and I have taken and called it quits for today.
Now I sit and trawl the pages of the web from another gadget. Hah! The needs to stay connected.
Neo wouldn't approve. He had to red pill himself to get rid of the hooks and here we are swallowing blue pill after another to get hard and stay grafted in artificially constructed worlds of our alternate realities.
The refresh button beckons, the hearts flutters and soul longs a kiss.
morning then afternoon
So today began bright and early, except not nearly as early because it was almost 8:00 and not that bright because it rained all night and rains still..so anyways, today began and I was up and running from the moment wtf.
Had to go to the police station you see, because of some banal resident registration work that would enable me to renew my resident permit and these registrations are done by the police in the police station rather than the registrar's office as it's done back home, So yes, that done and now I sit in this morose weather in absolute gloom I tell you, in the middle of afternoon because it's nearly night like outside and windy and biting cold.
Looks like I jumped on the spring bandwagon much too soon and got smote by the weather gods for my smugness.
What does today hold? Absolutely nothing.
I feel lazy and tired to do any much pottering about the house and so sit watching new episodes of Southpark.
But there is work ahead and I'll get to it, I know I will.
Had to go to the police station you see, because of some banal resident registration work that would enable me to renew my resident permit and these registrations are done by the police in the police station rather than the registrar's office as it's done back home, So yes, that done and now I sit in this morose weather in absolute gloom I tell you, in the middle of afternoon because it's nearly night like outside and windy and biting cold.
Looks like I jumped on the spring bandwagon much too soon and got smote by the weather gods for my smugness.
What does today hold? Absolutely nothing.
I feel lazy and tired to do any much pottering about the house and so sit watching new episodes of Southpark.
But there is work ahead and I'll get to it, I know I will.
Tuesday, 27 February 2018
Noooo
Most of my plants did fine in my absence except for basil plants that died. All of them. Dead!💀
I'm sad.
I can't tell you how I nurtured them in this cold, keeping them under heat lamps and what not and two weeks in cold darkness was enough to kill them.
It's heartbreaking. Basil doesn't do well in cold, not at all. No sir, especially the kind of cold when the weather indoors is almost frigid.
Ugh. Now I want to cry.
Just seeing the entire plant droop and pay its ode to gravity is tearing me up, it's drying in front of my eyes but I'm not giving up.
Got the lamp on again all day, giving it some nourishment and hoping things look up. Literally.
Sobs.
I'm sad.
I can't tell you how I nurtured them in this cold, keeping them under heat lamps and what not and two weeks in cold darkness was enough to kill them.
It's heartbreaking. Basil doesn't do well in cold, not at all. No sir, especially the kind of cold when the weather indoors is almost frigid.
Ugh. Now I want to cry.
Just seeing the entire plant droop and pay its ode to gravity is tearing me up, it's drying in front of my eyes but I'm not giving up.
Got the lamp on again all day, giving it some nourishment and hoping things look up. Literally.
Sobs.
Woweather
The weather is improving. Spring is on its ways and I'm happy.
The feet are still cold, hands still chilly but the wind has lost its iciness, the sun has regained its virility and the temperature is often in double digits. Ah, so much better.
I love the weather that'll come in a month's time, one with strong gales and pleasant coolness. When you can venture out with little armour and come back with a heap of allergies.
Yes, pollen, I smell you.
The feet are still cold, hands still chilly but the wind has lost its iciness, the sun has regained its virility and the temperature is often in double digits. Ah, so much better.
I love the weather that'll come in a month's time, one with strong gales and pleasant coolness. When you can venture out with little armour and come back with a heap of allergies.
Yes, pollen, I smell you.
Lunch log
Delicious sausages sautéed with colourful veggies create a rainbow meal of heavenly oomph.
Post workout lunch for when you've grudgingly worked out only to realise it made you feel better.
No this won’t do
Today was an improvement seeing how I didn't wake up at at 11:00 but 10:00.
Yeah, but let me recount to you my night of awfulness..that I didn't fall asleep until it was almost 4:00am. Imagine staying up in bed waiting to fall asleep and then finally finding some early morning and then waking a couple hours later to fix breakfast and then dying again.
Ugh, this has to stop.
My system is still living in another time zone, one with a seven hour difference and it's difficult to adjust.
Usually what I'd do earlier was imbibe melatonin and set things right but I have stopped taking such medications for sometime now doing things the natural way is hard.
What's worse is that is affecting my workout times.
Normally by now I'd be torturing myself instead of sitting sullenly in a confused state of bewilderment, agonising over impediments.
A doctor told me to let this run its course and not rush into it because my system will resent me for it and I thank the doctor for making me feel right about this odd dullness that comes about in the mornings but I've yet to make myself feel okay about this change that's slow to change.
It's been almost three days now and ugh, I want to feel differently.
Yeah, but let me recount to you my night of awfulness..that I didn't fall asleep until it was almost 4:00am. Imagine staying up in bed waiting to fall asleep and then finally finding some early morning and then waking a couple hours later to fix breakfast and then dying again.
Ugh, this has to stop.
My system is still living in another time zone, one with a seven hour difference and it's difficult to adjust.
Usually what I'd do earlier was imbibe melatonin and set things right but I have stopped taking such medications for sometime now doing things the natural way is hard.
What's worse is that is affecting my workout times.
Normally by now I'd be torturing myself instead of sitting sullenly in a confused state of bewilderment, agonising over impediments.
A doctor told me to let this run its course and not rush into it because my system will resent me for it and I thank the doctor for making me feel right about this odd dullness that comes about in the mornings but I've yet to make myself feel okay about this change that's slow to change.
It's been almost three days now and ugh, I want to feel differently.
Monday, 26 February 2018
Some some
Today, as expected went by quicker than I'd have wanted.
Seeing how my day began at 11:00 it's no surprise that it's ending in a few short hours. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, but I don't count on it since it's a Tuesday and I don't do well with these demonic days.
Ah well, caught up with everything that I'd not been keeping up with the past few weeks..drenched myself in some words and they've left me exhilarated. Something akin to a chemical peel of the cerebral kind.
Ah..hearts.
Seeing how my day began at 11:00 it's no surprise that it's ending in a few short hours. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, but I don't count on it since it's a Tuesday and I don't do well with these demonic days.
Ah well, caught up with everything that I'd not been keeping up with the past few weeks..drenched myself in some words and they've left me exhilarated. Something akin to a chemical peel of the cerebral kind.
Ah..hearts.
Baklava'd
How absolutely beautiful 'Baklava' is when made the right way. Sure it's sweet, but the nuts and dried fruit filling with the crunchy filo pastry balance out the sweetness with added texture and delicious crunch.
When made just right, baklava is a dream. It's very Greek. Sure there is Turkish baklava too, but I somehow only like when it's Greek.
Perhaps a proper greek one in a Greek eatery?
When made just right, baklava is a dream. It's very Greek. Sure there is Turkish baklava too, but I somehow only like when it's Greek.
Perhaps a proper greek one in a Greek eatery?
What on earth
This just won't do.
I feel like my system along with my mind is going haywire.
I can't seem to pinpoint in one direction and feel open ended.
I mean I didn't feel like getting out of the bed today till..11:00am.
Can you believe it?
I couldn't find a reason neither muster up any will.
And now that I'm awake I'm loads guilty and without anything to do.
This might be a case of post vacation depression, because there were no chores or work to worry about there and suddenly I know there are pending few things which I don't even want to come close to lest it ensnare me and keep me busy.
Two days and I've still not ventured close to my study room, avoiding it like the plague, instead preferring to spend all my time in an ignorant state of mind.
I hate what's happening and I need to do something about it but there's no will within.
Ah, I don't know what's wrong.
Perhaps it's just temporary, hopefully so, because I know this isn't me.
I feel like my system along with my mind is going haywire.
I can't seem to pinpoint in one direction and feel open ended.
I mean I didn't feel like getting out of the bed today till..11:00am.
Can you believe it?
I couldn't find a reason neither muster up any will.
And now that I'm awake I'm loads guilty and without anything to do.
This might be a case of post vacation depression, because there were no chores or work to worry about there and suddenly I know there are pending few things which I don't even want to come close to lest it ensnare me and keep me busy.
Two days and I've still not ventured close to my study room, avoiding it like the plague, instead preferring to spend all my time in an ignorant state of mind.
I hate what's happening and I need to do something about it but there's no will within.
Ah, I don't know what's wrong.
Perhaps it's just temporary, hopefully so, because I know this isn't me.
Saturday, 24 February 2018
Wee winks
That feeling of having been hit by a thick frothy wave of sleep, whooshing with the speed of surprise to knock you out cold for a good hour, dismantling your body on the couch into a limp sack of coma.
Yes, that happened to me, just now. I mean a couple hours back, and I have recovered since and had a cup of light coffee.
Jet lagged and tired still and not at my brightest, with a hint of migraine and no energy or zeal to get up from the sofa and do anything constructive
I think I'll let the weekend pass in a stupor before I haul up my senses and make some changes and begin working out, because I have easily gained almost 3kgs of water weight with unrestricted eating and loading up on the carbs and meats and sweets.
But my oh my how could I stop from all the popular delicacies.
In fact I'll put up a post of all the wonderful foods that I once began eating and never stopped.
So yes. Let's deal with the day now.
Yes, that happened to me, just now. I mean a couple hours back, and I have recovered since and had a cup of light coffee.
Jet lagged and tired still and not at my brightest, with a hint of migraine and no energy or zeal to get up from the sofa and do anything constructive
I think I'll let the weekend pass in a stupor before I haul up my senses and make some changes and begin working out, because I have easily gained almost 3kgs of water weight with unrestricted eating and loading up on the carbs and meats and sweets.
But my oh my how could I stop from all the popular delicacies.
In fact I'll put up a post of all the wonderful foods that I once began eating and never stopped.
So yes. Let's deal with the day now.
Now this here
I could talk how the entire journey began from minor headaches and climaxed into a crescendo of reaching back at odd hours making sense to a taxi driver who couldn't have located his toe much less my address, but I shall refrain and say only what needs be said, that I'm home. Last night or rather this morning after a burst of short sleep because time zones have suddenly changed and I'll probably feel sleepy during late afternoon.
The cat is here, we are united and I'm happy.
Ah..life I tell you.
Yes I'm unslept, unkempt, even though I showered right after reaching back but gods tired. My skin feels rough, I'm parched, everything in my system is haywire but phew I'm back, and the best part is it's not as icy as I'd left it.
I mean I've had my fill of snow and winters and it's a cozy 10° right now.
Yes, ah, yes.
Thursday, 22 February 2018
Wednesday, 21 February 2018
Tuesday, 20 February 2018
Update
Right, so I'm the last leg of this vacation/travel and did I ever think I'd find myself in Slovakia? No!
So here I am, in the capital city of Bratislava which is sleepy and tiny.
I don't know but I now long to go back to the comforts and rituals of my domestic life, and my cat.
Just a few more days.
Ah, it's been long hasn't it?
Sent from my iPhone
So here I am, in the capital city of Bratislava which is sleepy and tiny.
I don't know but I now long to go back to the comforts and rituals of my domestic life, and my cat.
Just a few more days.
Ah, it's been long hasn't it?
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, 19 February 2018
Thursday, 15 February 2018
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