The big hair the red lips

meh

There's a pile of clothes
I try to ignore
which refuses to ignore me
and so I sigh
I say goodbye
and get a folding. 

Behind scenes

Of all the places and all the windows and all the rooms and all the lights, this lounge, the most lived in place in my domus is the only area which gets the kind of light that makes photography possible.
I have tried and tried and tried yet harder almost every room and open space to click pictures but the way the light falls enabling humongous shadows, dark corners, high/low exposure, yellowed tint, darkened highlights, poor lowlights makes the final outcome rather disappointing that no amount of photoshop can correct which is why I've finally settled here.
It's not perfect by no means it's the best, in fact it leaves a lot to be desired, but when the light is decidedly ample outside I can create an affect by bringing down the blinds thus minimising shadows and creating a modestly clean atmosphere for quick photography.

Morning some

What is a morning person really?
Is it merely someone who wakes up in the morning or does it have anything to do with their enthusiasm for early mornings?

Say a person wakes up looking forward to a glorious pre-dawn morning with a merry yawn, would that be a consideration befitting a morning person as opposed to someone who begrudgingly tosses off the sheets and hates every second of its bleary blinks but still does it almost everyday, bearing in heart how this situation if averted would be the most gladsome thing to happen by all accounts.
Would we call the latter a morning person as well?
I wonder I wonder.

Vanilla

Who me?
Making vanilla extract even before I have lunch because I'm dangerously hovering towards the extinction of said concoction and I never wish to see the day when I extend an arm into my pantry and come out with an empty vanilla bottle.

Ooh

Al those books and stationary make me horny.

••¬¬

The day passes far too fast, leaving me lagging behind.
I play catch up, and just as I almost converge within grasping range, the rogue minutes run by the speed of a startled second increasing the gap, the distance now longer, my heart no more in the game. 

––

And so for my next trick, I shall exhaust myself into oblivion.

Agenda

What am I if not on a mission today, that of a total body burn workout with strength training that'll take me at least an hour to finish and i might have to scrape the remnants of me off the floor but sometimes one just has to do that.
Goodbye life.

Nights light

Nighttime and I try to still the beating heart
a clever conjurer and mimic
that reigns the mind
grappling it with a nerve twine
swinging it in that direction
of the empty two way street
visible only whence you float
nighttime and I rewind
to many a yesterday's
far too few
passed in facial correspondence
traveling in a straight line
words that belong to you
words that are also mine

Thee

Some nights you're a fulgent ember, still in a smouldering stance, warming the heart the hearth, a twinkling gem astrally sparkling under moonlight, catching sun rays and beaming gently.
Some nights you're a blazing fire, coruscating with red-hot flames, coflagrant in mood, igniting spirit and flesh, promising sweet incineration in scalding fireworks of afterglow.

Cheesy days

Sometimes I just want to get drunk and listen to wicked game.
I know too campy, but there are days that demand a bit of over the top kitsch.

Tip tea toe

My tea collection has gone a bit out of control.
Gotta find some more ways to finish this before I can buy new, but I don't know what's it about tea that allures me so.

Perennial hungers

Days you do not eat a lunch proper you end up grazing throughout the day.
Something to do with not being full enough and a psychological excuse that hey I've not eaten much I can eat this and that and that and all of all that.
I hate this feeling because it makes me crave tea.

click click

At a time in life, a thousand years ago there was a tally counter which at my workplace was called a clicker of an analogue make that I used for my events when I used to count the number of participants, guests, visitors, attendees, footfall and other similar such.
An omnipresent little lump in my bag that often transformed into a giant ring, at a time in life when work and I were lovers, devotees, popular fuckers.
Do I miss my faux fiance? Perhaps not. 

apparitions

I keep feeling someone is silently standing behind and I look back to find no one (thank god)
Something/someone suddenly moves, walks, stealthily stalks from the corner of my eye and there's no one. (small mercy) 

Law lunches

I know this is a meagre affair and that too for lunch but my lord in defence I got carried away with the death cleaning of my kitchen and it was only at 2:30 when my stomach complained with a low growl did I realise both my lunch and bath had been amiss and thusly, leaving my cleaning in its 3/4th state I rectified the issues, that is a quick splashing about of water and supplements to the stomach, and was there a point making a late elaborate meal at 3:00pm when I'd be hovering near the stove for dinner in another couple hours?
So an instant fix for now shall do.

This madness too shall pass

Kitschy calls

Today's cardio is kitchen clean up and arrangement.
Things have gotten messy down there and to think I'd arranged it all..well..uh..umm..last November.

:(

My meals have been a bit of carb and gluten fest.
I'm not proud, in fact I'm ashamed.

Lunch kisses

A rather full plate of a monstrously fat salami sandwich with all the fixings.
An omelette and a large heaping helping of greens with a simple vinaigrette for when you need to fuel and indulge carefully.

mmmusic

This just hits the spot. Demonic riffs, old school vocals, blood spiking tracks and maniacally melodious through and through.

Bounce bounce foods

Sometimes you crave sustenance and sometimes substance, and it was the latter I needed today.
Something about the fresh sprightly astringency of tom yum soups that fill you with vigour and vitality, upping the energy, unclogging fatigue and lethargy.
This here in picture is a chicken Tom yum soup with some rice noodles in all its zing and zip.

Razzle dazzle

Few movies have had the kind of cultural impact especially on events like marriages that the extraordinary awful movie 'Hum aapke hain Kaun' had.
It changed the entire aspect of marriages in India, making them a lot more frilly, uselessly extravagant and wasteful and revived the fossilised traditions that never once seemed important enough to be celebrated with such overindulgence like the thieving of shoes for a price and injected them as this mega event that each wedding should inculcate, not excluding mehendi, ladies sangeet and even a cocktail party.
I mean what on earth??
Not that there's a problem with having these events, but the splurge that comes with it which never seemed to be present before the movie is overkill, and don't even let me get started on the wedding trousseau of not just the bride and groom but all the close relations and their kith and Kin..and god help if they're a part of some dance sequence for the sangeet event.
I mean it's ghastly.
And I was apart of all this madness twice! I say with some guilt.

Trues

Even familiar disappointments can feel comforting at times, which is why I like to turn on the television.

Moviedome

Talking of movies I watched two Hindi movies today.
One was a boring mediocre movie and the other movie called Bhavesh Joshi superhero is an ace movie. Really wonderful I say.

Jaane bhi do yaron is the finest among finest. An unexplored dark comedy genre of our cinema at its best.

Princess

At the bar

Cocktail time!

Mew hearts

Ramen haunts

The usual haunt..on a rather long desk like table that belongs to solitary seaters.
I don't know why this particular restaurant, this totally fast moving restaurant that has clientele revellers, eaters, friends, office crowd, some families, large groups, lonely people running in and out in a surgical strike all the time.
You won't see the same face after twenty minutes, that same seat occupied by someone else.
It helps that the food is good and inexpensive.

Something Saturday

Say one thing about a rainy Saturday say I can't stand to be home which is exactly why I have ventured out, alone,today since no one would oblige me in partaking a bit of outside especially when there's work afoot for some people, but not me! No sir. I have craving I have needs and I can't be home anymore in this dark gloomy weather if I'm not alone that is.
Moreover since last night I have been craving something fried and crispy.
A tempura perhaps, some fried squid and a slurping bowl of ramen, and thusly here I am, in this idiotically dark watery weather, with zero will to be indoors.
What's more I intend on a bit of shopping too..another thing I love to do alone since there's no anxiety.
Ah..Saturday's and ah..the much needed solitary splurge and saunter.

Inked hearts

Now that is a handwriting amongst handwritings.
Gorgeously romantic, voluptuously quixotic.

Sad truth

That you hopefully stoke your embers each day to have them doused under a bucket of ice.

I scream

Tiny individual ice creams covered in chocolate when you don't want to overindulge

Evening now

Almost like elephants had been trampling over my floorboards, such was the menace of four kids, running, jumping, giggling and screaming add a dog and a cat to that equation and you have a loony bin.
I probably shouldn't have put all that sugar on those pancakes.
I mean how does one even?

The way I deal with these things is by keeping all rooms locked and off limits with a functioning bathroom for everyone to use and menacing them to keep it clean, restraining the madness in living room area, keeping all gadgets and remotes out of reach.
I mean it looked like a small bomb blast while everyone was here.

Right, Friday now and I need to wind down my disappointments of the day and what not and wash it all with some grain spirit.

-edit: I'd written this post a while back and then got busy with dinner and just got the time to post this.
Hearts.

Gngngng

The post is done but you can't post it.
It's mockery of a VPN I tell you.

New high score

Argh!

By that great a score but I can always get better seeing how often I get this %*^$@^ message

A Full house of hungry hordes and animals

ogre needs

Lock your refrigerator, there's an indulgence coming in all its juggernaut glory, unrelenting force of nature that advents every Friday and ebbs each Monday, cresting on Sunday, this is most grievous indeed.

Fizzle fizzle

That neither my mind nor my body prompted me to leave the bed was most satisfying mostly because I was hurting and aching all over.
It was like the mattress had decided to absorb me and I didn't want to budge from my stance.
Every little tendon, sinew and muscle hurt like I'd spent the night under a bulldozer.
What on earth happened?
A slight temperature and the usual fatigue that comes with it has plagued me ever since I woke up at seven because I've to be out and about for a while regarding some work and Gods I don't feel it.
The eyes feel like fires of hell and I think I felt chilly last night but ignored the pleadings of my sheet instead favouring to cuddle with the cat who was cold himself.

There's a sudden shift in season all of a sudden.
It's hot and all but the mornings when I'd step out of the cool bedroom into the lounge hating the humidity and stifling mugginess from almost a week ago has changed to that of mellowed pleasantness.. the mornings air has gotten cooler and the house doesn't feel as suffocating anymore.
I'd still feel deranged to walk out in the sun but the quality of the heat has changed.

It's like you know that time during October when the sun doesn't feel as harsh and the mornings feel cooler?

Uhh..by the dead I need a paracetamol.
Out now and will be back in a bit..
Ah..oh..ugh

Darks alive

Nighttime and the old dread
Of teetering on the verge of wakefulness
I am but a known tourist in town insomnia
a kaleidoscopic city of iridescent waking dreams
governed by imaginary truths
a triad of resident regrets running amuck
Chromatic confusions painted over ceilings
tosses and turns like tectonic shifts
in an all night waking scene without meaning

Happenings

As soon as I realized the evening had set in, the world grown darker inside, the neck nearing its demise, the day nearing its end that I walked out of the study, away from the ongoing drawing to see that it was almost seven in the evening without me even knowing.
What happened to today?
It went by most productive I must say.
Right then dinner?
Ah, the reigns are not in my hands anymore as the hob is commanded by people and I sit with a small glass of Campari with an aching neck and a crafty smile because I'm almost pleased with the outcome though not terribly excited but still over the course of next week I shall be able to do a good many few things before my folks arrive..yes my parents are coming this side of the globe for a week and that makes me happy too.

Before we begin

There's a process to everything and this here is before when I begin with watercolours.
Something of a mise en place with colours and all the paraphernalia.
Apart from watercolours, there's to be two separate containers for water, cotton cloth for wiping brushes, a palette for mixing colours, a sheet for testing colours, tissue for soaking excess water and brushes to paint.
Lemon water in the mug is a part of the process too, as a way of hydration during the long hours

vibes

What's the male equivalent of donning a beautiful dress complete with strappy heels, a full face of glam makeup with voluptuous red glossy lips and body and soul veiled under a thin aura of sexy perfume?
I feel like that right now.

no outside influences

god help the speed if if I ever go a notch above 480p.
the times we live in, or rather the restrictions I live with. youtube never seemed so daunting.

Crave moods

You know that feeling when you wake up with a fixed idea of exactly what you'd like to eat for lunch.
I have a lot of those and this morning I needed, wanted, craved a tuna sandwich.
I know..a sandwich! But in my defence my lord this sandwich was probably what you'd refer to as the nun amongst harlots of sandwiches, what with copious amounts of veggies, zero dressing and only a couple knobs of butter and uh, some cheddar cheese for the ooze smudged between two slices of whole meal walnut bread.
So you see, not at all that bad and uh, I did do some extra workout this morning only so I could accommodate this meal.
I think of everything..as if but even so.

Pin up

Hello darling cat
do you see yourself reflection on the floor
looking oh so bored
tired of doing this and that
Right in the middle of thoroughfare
now now, there's no need to stare
I understand you've thing to do
like get a proper view
of house and other things few
and so you perch
where with you could easily lurch
and bound and scratch
to kill and catch

Some news

Say one thing about binge watching say I'm guilty of it each time I come across something worth watching that I like.
Case in point Peaky Blinders. The third season is out and there's only so much I can do to not keep myself glued to it.

There's an anime I've got my eyes on called Knights of Sidonia and I'm wondering if I should give it a whirl soon, only problem being that I get so hooked on anime's and series that it feels almost empty once they're over.
Speaking of which I really want to watch Upgrade and have been wanting to ever since I saw the trailer. The movie looks bloody as hell and what am I if not a sucker for good mano a mano action sequences.

Listening to red country and by the dead it is music to my ears so much so that I don't even feel like reading anything right now, and the court of knives is going fine but it's not as gripping, hopefully it'll get better soon also I'm not giving it the time I should which pains me..something I'll have to rectify soon.

Thee

Oh, the aridity of life especially when I want to feel sticky all over, not cuz of the weather, not cuz of humid dew..
but with your wet kisses, under a sweating you.

What the what

This fly is probably the Dwayne Johnson of flies.
Like if there were a WWf (world wrestling fly) then this fly would win the heck out of it.
I means it's got abs in its thorax.
President of pests and such.

Fly weight

Okay I've never watched the movie Makkhi and it's on television now and I swear I just saw this graphic fly doing push ups and strength training with bulb filaments.

I think it's funny in a way where your mind wants to grasp to whatever little slivers of rationality it can find.

Preps and demise

One hour and forty minutes. That's how long it takes me start to finish with the usual dinner that includes washing, boiling, chopping, cooking, roasting, tempering, garnishing, doughing(?), rolling, baking over hot pan, poofing on fire and finally setting.
And ten minutes to eat it all.
Such is life.

music now

The ferocious sounds of metal intertwined with a blue twang punctuated with a gloomy aura. Drums to die for, guitar riffs worth sitting down for and vocals reminiscent of all that was good in music. This album gets better with every listen; both old school and nostalgic with a modern edge.

Lunch hug

For when you want to dive head first in vigour and virtue.
It's an alarmingly large portion size but I have an alarmingly large appetite and it helps that this here is a mound of gluten free deliciousness.
Certainly a favourite of mine as a post work out meal and no stranger to this blog, though I keep tweaking and playing with its soul a bit here and there to revive its delight.
Cold Buckwheat noodle salad with tofu, eggs, raw vegetables in a sprightly sauce of sesame paste, soy, lemon and vinegar for moments when only righteousness will do.

Wednoday!

If you've seen something colossally jam packed with nary a breathing space then you've seen my Wednesday.
Today my darling is a day to be reckoned because I know that by the time I'm done with this day I'll be a mere shell of my former self..of course I joke. I shall be a shell of a shell ready to flake away.
There was some work to be taken care of and can you believe it I'm already home after having done it, and that after cooking and packing..
It helps that there wasn't a bit of shilly shallying, that I left at 7 and got finished by 9 and came back home just in time for a cuppa.
Phew! But not phew yet because apart from the work that is, well, work, I also have some personal agenda's of my own that needs be pushed and I'm in a good mood to shove things around.
Case in point some editing, some arting, some uploading, some photographing..not in order.
The arting will take up an entire day because I need to work on the header and apart from drawing there's a couple other options I'm contemplating, ones that need designing and this whole process will take a week if not more.
So now all I gotta do is arrange today in an efficient stacking so it doesn't begin crumbling down on me, weighing me under its lofty weight, which I know it eventually will but I do not wish to crib about it.

Bliss kiss

For when you wish to hear your skin say thanks.

Ack ack

I as much as pick up my phone to type something..
'What are you doing?'
'You're always in the phone'
'You never want to talk to me'

Even though a mindless movie is being watched while I read a book and I as much as pick a phone that a barrage of questions!

Chillies 2

Chillies

I've been thinking of a new header for the food blog and whaddya think?
Any suggestions, I mean this doesn't have to be the final one. I'll make a few more but these are a couple designs.

Aromatic wafts

Who me?
Oh just roasting some spices to make garam masala both for my home because I'm running low on reserves and the blog..squeezing in some time to myself and get a couple things done before the child army descends on the house like a swarm of locust and feeds on all my time.
I mean I'll shoo them off in an hours time but to be fair I did lose a lot of light time because the weather being all dark and all, and now that there's some brightness I need to give my camera some action.

Black skies white lies

For when clouds threaten to flood the bay with their darkening visage of angry grey but only ever manage a weak trickle before slumping into a corner gelded, humidifying what was already dying into a monstrously stifling day.

Tittle today

For when the body clock trumps the mind watch..case in point today!
What seemed to be a little after midnight was in fact early morning and you know how it is, the eye slowly opens to glimpse through the window to ensure it's morning what with the dawn breaking and all, my eye traversed through the gloom of the room, unsliced yet by small streaks of light and found the darkness outside the window most heartening because it meant there's still more time to sleep, however my body was ready to wake up and get about the daily duties, and I had the most difficult time telling it to go back to sleep seeing how it was still no more than 2am and that's when the soundless argument between my body and brain began.
It was unusually dark inside the room, pitch black nearly and that probably set off some alarms in my head, I mean not that dramatic but even so.
I fumbled for the phone to see the time and whaddya know, it was almost six.
The foreboding darkness out was on account of thick heavy rain clouds smeared across the sky, getting heavier by the moment, and the darkness getting bleaker each passing minute. I kept sitting on the bed feeling cold and confused.
To switch off the ac and run towards the window was a thing of the moment and indeed the day out was almost midnight black.
Windless and brutally silent, the quietness punctured only by morning noise of school buses and garbage trucks and hushed facelessness of Tuesday looming large along with voluptuous clouds of colour.

Lights were switched on and everything happened in a muted understanding of otherworldly gloom, one that has now assumed tingling rains and I sit still in the darkened dungeon, now with all lights off, contemplating brunch.

Little fucks

Kids fucking love me!
Goddamit!

Tuesday makes itself felt beginning right now.
I mean how does one turn down a couple kids at the door asking me if I'm free tomorrow to play?
Uh..play what?
Monopoly of course.
Alright, I relented, shaking my hands still wet from washing dishes.
But only an hour! Deal?
Yes!! They jumped with joy.
When will schools start?

Weighty issues

I didn't even know fatphobia was a word now widely used in the PC sphere until a few days ago.
I don't know what it really means except the literal meaning which is phobic to fat.
One should be phobic to fat for the sake of your body, but I think this word implies to people who make fun of fat people and not tolerant of their weight etc etc.

I've been giving it some thought and though I'm not the one to make fun of fat people nor does it occur to me to make fun except get a bit worried about morbidly obese people and wonder when their next angiography is scheduled, I do know better than to say something that might not sit well on them.
Having said that, and I was trying to remember, recollect if I had any fat friends ever, and come to think of it I didn't.
Not as a child at school ever, well, maybe a friend but she was not what you'd call fat, and I gave it some more thought wondering why.
I realized that I was an extremely active child. Both at school and as I grew up right until now even, though I'm no child, and I used to always play a lot of games back at school, my favourite one being ring which was physically taxing because it was about catching and throwing and aiming at different teams to kill someone with a rubber ring, but the point is that all my friends were those whom I always played a lot with and fat kids as a rule didn't much play and so I ended up not being too friendly with those who didn't join me during free periods to play and run and climb things.

So yes, I didn't have any fat friends but I have plenty fat cousins and though I'm often asked to talk to them about their burgeoning weight by their worrying parents I never bring up these topics with them because why should I?
I mean I'll give an opinion or advice only if I'm asked..so, shove your face in that cake a little more and hear me say nothing.

I don't know about fatphobia but one should be phobic to fat, and I mean the kind of fat that can push you towards the diabetic side of things and it's no good making fun of fat people either because that helps no one, having said that people have elevated this issue to the likes of racism and it's not.

Wreck it asshole

I have known people who throw phones around and then I've known people who straight up smash their laptops on the floor, all because they don't know how to vent out an emotion as alien as rage that comes to them far too rarely.
I ask you this, what's with releasing anger by wrecking machinery? How does it help? I don't know and sometimes I try to understand the thought process in a persons mind before flinging their laptops and phones.
Like what are they thinking?

Let me show the scale of my rage by destroying something useful and expensive?
Let me make them feel guilty about being the reason for it's decimation.
Let me keep myself from throttling a throat by demolishing a machine.

I don't understand, and for the most part such incidents are scary to witness. It makes you wonder if there's ain't a screw roaming about loose, and if there'd be a necessity for arranging a loony bin in the near future.
It makes you think twice before saying anything that could potentially trigger a person and elicit a shattering response.

It's horrendous and alarming.

Din din

Oh I don't hate Monday, no sir! Simply because I need all the reserved hatred for Tuesday and thusly there are few gripes with first day of the week, however Monday is when it begins.. the proper meal prep because it's first day of the week, you gotta start strong and finish however limp you want, though having said that there is never a day when meal times are ignored.
So today, ah, today is going to be a rather elaborate meal with all the fixings. Really..all the bloody fixings.

Edit: I wrote and didn't post because obviously, I was hovering at the hob.

Work and voices

Doing a bit of absolutely purpose driven artwork while Red Country plays in the background and the thing about listening to such interesting narration while working is that you end up working longer than you'd want and in fact it was a nostalgic crick in my neck that actually informed me that I'd been sitting at it longer than I was supposed to.
Right then!

Old new

To think I posted but didn't..
Lunch today was one well within my comfort zone of fried rice with different flavourings and lots of tofu.
Somehow I always end up with leftover rice and there are times when I could talk myself into making something spectacularly special but sometimes when the need is greater than greed you settle for old comforts of ease.

Bloated Monday’s

So you drink a bit on Sunday night, even a small bit and let yourself loose on some excessively sweet chocolate wafers even though you have no sweet tooth to speak of and wake up bloated the next day, feeling the excesses speak through plumped up face that sinks into the neck and a belly that looks like it's seen better days.
A bloat is fine and know this, that no amount of workout can fix it. You've to let time do it's things and eat well the next day like a normal person instead of an ogre and soon enough it'll subside, however if you're under the impression that training for an hour straight will let you feel better about the way you look, then no.
Sigh, I say this for myself because I didn't wake up looking like this, in fact I still don't look like this. It's just a rather kind mirror.

Huh

Deadpool can heal, regenerate and literally grow out new body parts but his face doesn't heal nor grow new skin no matter what and keeps looking like his old scarred self regeneration after regeneration.

Nonday

Who me?
Grocery shopping.
Sunday's are relegated to outside domestic chores that take not long, whence a bit of supermarket visitation is in order to refill on the house supplies and see a bit of people doing the same, wallow in the noise and chaos of domestic necessities made to look shinier by the supermarket lights.

Anime cosplay event

Ah natural/ not really but yes

Shoo shoe

What do we think?
Do we like it?

sounds to today

To accentuate, festoon and augment the voluptuously dingy provocativeness of today with the apt music of a fittingly opaque stygian aura.

You can't really go wrong with a name like 'sex on the grave' 

¿ë

This dimness smells like four collective orgasms, a stolen afternoon, soft tongues and persevering mouths. 

eclipse in da haus

Pleasantly dungeonesque is how it feels today like you are spelunking without the rigours of the physical aspect of that hobby.
Roaming about the house feels like a bit of an adventure because this afternoon is darker than my bottle of ink and the inside is overcome with an exhilarating obscurity.
 Something rather calming about the doomed ambience punctuated with steady rainfalls that haven't let up in almost 24 hours. 
I mean yes, this kind of cataclysmic darkness tends to be depressive, but somehow it gives me that alone on an island with all the amenities feel and for some reason, the thought alone uplifts me no end.
The lights are rarely ever turned on during the afternoon and I wouldn't be surprised were I to bump into a confused pharaoh going about his business in a tomb, because the brightness is buried, leaving smoky, almost faded shadows in charge.

Pangs o hunger

A little late in the day but my lord in my defence I did a longer version of usual workout, one that spanned over an hour which included a traumatic cardio and a torturous upper body strength routine.

Though I had the wherewithal for a regular chicken fried rice my cravings for a different flavour pushed me to make something far simpler if not a more delicious quick version of bhuna chicken which didn't need an orchestra of vegetables.
It was the southern spicage of curry leaves and black pepper I craved today and that is exactly what I gave myself.
Behold the majesty of this simple yet madly delicious dish, served with some leftover white rice and a tall glass of banana smoothie.

Rains hard

This morning is redolent of wet raincoats, cherry coloured gum boots and a short walk to bus stand in the morning; of Goan monsoons, pictorial tropical greenery and conscientious childhood.

Drama in the night

If mean girls was directed by Guillermo del Toro then that would be my dream.
It was a total teen drama of panoramic proportions in the widest canvas possible, complete with gothic enchantments of a town that looked surreal with its glowing monstrous green trees that snapped at people, eight limbed monsters that was someone's costume for a drama, heroic boyfriends who'd stop at nothing to prevent the thieving anti heroine from stealing his girlfriend's thunder, the entire mood of the background flitting from somber Matt whites of the school to lurking vivid greens and luminescent blues of the town square where everything seemed to glow, and looked to be embellished to an inconceivable gleam.
Whoever said dreams were black and white was talking through his hat because there was nothing B&W about it.

It all started with a girl saving a little child and introducing herself to the mother who turned out to be a mayor or something and wrote her name on a book and sent it through her people to get the young lady commemorated at an event in her school, except she got the name wrong with the surname a bit different and another girl at the school intercepted the book and changed the name because apparently she had the very surname that the mayor got wrong in the book.
All this while I was about the school as some character who was suffering from a lip allergy which made my lips swollen and my tongue numb but I was looking gorgeous and I spent the entire dream looking for the school sick bay.
Right, finally when the changed name in the book is glanced upon by the mayor she rectifies her mistake and hands it over to the girl's boyfriend who's a monster in a play on the day of the event and he's dressed like a twenty foot Thanos on steroids and that's when you get a glimpse of the town which is ludicrously gorgeous and scary with alive trees with odd heads for branches and the boyfriend running on eight limbs to prevent the wrongdoing girl from reaching the event.

All this while the other girl who's the real hero has been a part of a background orchestra for their annual event day and the musical instrument is a straw with ball bearing protruding from one end that you have to tap on wooden benches to produce a certain sound and then tilt the straw in the opposite direction for the ball bearings to slide back that produce another effect and this was the main sound of the medieval play they were doing and the practise sessions for this orchestra happened everyday for hours cuz it's not easy to master the art of straw and ball bearings.
How the dream ended I could not say but I woke up so refreshed, even happy, simply because I got to watch something worthwhile and this dream as most dreams do occurred in the early hours of morning.

This looks to be a good day..

Of pink and yellow

Weather deals

91% humidity! Are you killing me?

Mood eats

I don't know anything about emotional eating because the only time I can actually eat is when the only emotion I'm feeling is towards my hunger and food.
If I'm tipping the scales with an extremely exuberant or deathly sallow mood the first thing I do is stop eating, not because I want to but because emotions put me off my feed.

Redungeon

Okay, I can't beat my high score.

blank petitions

It's only just Thursday and I'm all ready to call it a week and celebrate with some doom metal and a glass of cognac, sitting in cold darkness with a head blanker than a lobotomized brain and vacant immediate prospects.
The fact that the now and the next is always teeming with activities, blurring steadfastness and brisk exactitude there are times when your moments need to be absolutely uninhabited, untenanted, vagrant and loitering..those moods I aim for, yearn and even demand from life if not expect.

Teetotaller

I can keep wishing but that won't change the fact that this is Ceylon tea not beer.
The powers of mental persuasion come into handy and I miserably fail at the attempt to get myself drunk on chai.

snack love

I gave a kid some cat snacks so that he could offer them to my cat and make friends, except, and I say this with max bewilderment at my disposal the kid popped them in his mouth and proceeded to chew on them and swallow before I could say what the goddamit!

tell

The heat and chaos rose up to meet him like an angry ex's embrace. ..

and then what goddamit?
I mean there are things I need to know.

To do and do it all over

A sultry afternoon, worsened by a smidgen of rain, stifling outdoors and the inability to adapt to this weather; to sweat like a frozen water bottle left in hamam, to have the condensation pool around ankles, to not care a whit about wiping away at your face like a bedraggled mess as the sweat drips down the forehead while others watch on and suddenly realizing the surroundings to backpedal and regain the usual poise and tactfully retrieve a soft tissue from a bag to gently tap on the forehead and mouth when in reality you really just want to raise the hem of your delightfully soft cotton skirt and rub at your existence until all the sweat is absorbed.

Let’s do it!

I've been up and about ever since the clock nearly struck 5:30, and here almost finishing my tea, ready to tackle the day and grab it by its little finger ever so gently without tugging at it lest it snap back and tear my head off while feasting on my blood and ripping my bones to shreds.

Diner colours

Night lights are the worst, but when the food is such a trifecta of colours it doesn't really matter does it?

Not wanted

Things I need but I don't want.

1) A larger fridge.
Seeing how the freezer is twice the size of the regular frigidarium area, yes I need a fridge but couldn't care to get one cuz I don't want it!

2) a smaller pressure cooker
Cuz small children might fall and disappear into the current one that I have.

3) ice cube trays.
I have only two ice cube trays and I don't use the silicone ones because my nose refuses to agree with the silicone stench and I up cycle plastic containers to make ice and I clearly need trays but I don't want 'em.

4) blendtec /vitamix
My need for mixing apparatus far surpasses those in any other household of that I'm sure and yet I have net invested in a blendtec/vitamix though I know I dearly need it, not sure if I want it though.

5) kitchen aid stand mixer
See above.

6) a large wok
I have a decently functioning medium sized wok that I literally use to cook almost everything and often times I feel a bit handicapped because some dishes need a larger more efficient wok, seeing how mine is ancient (nicked from my mom) and not very good at keeping things unstuck since it heats up a bit quicker than it should and I know I need a larger cast iron or aluminium wok but I don't because I like this one more than I should.

7) new carpet
I know sounds extravagant but it's a need seeing how the ends of my carpet are frayed due to cat attack. The feline fiend has a habit of clawing, chewing and scratching the ends of this carpet resulting in giving it a rather antique and used look, which might not look that bad but that's only because I do away with the pulled out fibers and trim them. Yes I desperately need a new carpet but do I want it? Not particularly.

8) spice keeper
You know the round stainless steel ones with retro authenticity but instead I have clunky square ones with huge containers that aren't enough to store day to day spice needs which is why I have two. They take up space and I don't think them pretty. Yes I need a spice box but I don't want one.

Indeed there are needs and there are wants but sometimes you just don't want the needs.

Coasters

It's something of a thing I like to do, that is collect coasters from different places that are breweries and pubs from all the fun places I've visited all over the world. There's a sizeable collection on my hands and it's really just a habit I think but so much fun.

;:

Playboys rarely care for leaves, it's the lovers who do and darling you do look like one. 

help but no, help!

The thing with never having hired any help for domestic chores is that you often forget actually having hired one recently.
I've always spoken about it with a bit of smugness as to how all the housework including absolutely everything is done by moi no matter what the circumstances and how I actually go about sprucing my Domus, from scrubbing bathroom porcelain to polishing mirrors, to vacuuming, mopping, dusting, washing balcony et al, and I would have without fail continued on had it not been the past few months when I found myself extremely busy and uninclined to go pottering about the house, and that too in this weather.

Though winters here are extreme and long and severe I find myself far more productive in that weather, never shying away from cleaning and what not but ever since humidity set in I find it near impossible to do the same tasks without hating it, and cleaning is definitely my top favourite things to do and yet I found myself incapable of the task and it was when each morning I found myself bathed in sweat after the morning cleanup that I decided to hire someone to take the load off me at least once or twice a week, which is when a couple ayi's came into the equation. 
One who comes every Wednesday and another every Sunday.

Yes, not every day, because I don't need one every day, seeing the basic cleanup etc I still do myself every morning. It's the lengthy sprucing up that I need help with, which includes dusting, glass polishing and the works.
I mean it's not exactly arduous work that I can't undertake or would not undertake, just that it makes life bit easier and currently anything that makes it easy is most welcome.

Right, so I didn't remember that someone was supposed to show up this morning for the cleanup and when someone did I found myself feeling a bit perplexed and even guilty, which is odd.
I mean all these years and no help, and suddenly someone at the door ready to make my own home livable for me.
I don't know how I feel about that, except when I see the house twinkling it makes me a happier person but then I wonder to myself as to why am I not doing it when all these years I had been, and that I should at least remember what days and time I have actually alotted.

The good thing is I haven't hired anyone on a salary basis but hourly which makes it far convenient and more logical, the bad thing is that one day I might get used to it all and remember who is coming when and feel miserable if either is on a holiday.
I don't want to be that person when all my life I've made fun of such people who can't do their own housework.

isn't this all rather confusing? 
Is it that time to finally see a therapist?

Lunched spice

This is spicier than gossip, this plate of rice noodles and tofu, spiked with three different chilies, what with green chillies, red pepper powder and dried red chillies it's a sure shot way to hell that goes through heaven of a taste.

Eat my thoughts

Something about today, this unbearable claustrophobic heat, the bright white sun and grey asphalt sizzling under that makes me want to hurl myself in a restaurant and eat a languorous solo lunch with nary a worry and follow up with some coffee in a nearby shop.
I could do that technically speaking had I not some work afoot that demands my immediate attention.
There was a roster of dishes rifling through my head, much like an old fashioned Rolodex with the visuals, taste, flavours and recipes schematically arranged with their blue prints laid out and I mentally swiping at them to see next after next, nominating which dishes could be cooked on the basis of ease, plausibility, ingredient availability and desires to eat.
I'm unhappy to report that everything that I really am in the mood to eat is going to be a bit of a bother to prepare and not easily available.
Also my taste buds are tingling to eat something that would burn the roof of my mouth, that would make me weep with the excessive spicyness that would make me regret my decisions but that is exactly what I wish to eat, and so I have come upon making something stir fried with a lot of spice.
Somehow the thought of eating cold salad or anything Asian right now doesn't appeal to me unless it's served in a restaurant where I wish I could go and I can't right now.

This shall be remedied soon.
Well, to the kitchen then!

And scene

Nighttime and I pretend the green lights of the air conditioning are twin stars descended upon my walls.
The cat is near the foot, the fur is on my toe, the sheet is on my person, the sleep is exiting the building.
Nighttime and I let my heart wander with my soul, let them stay delirious, illusions aplenty, their full body immersion in visions amongst lucid veins of alternate realities, a drop of ink in clear water that begins a strange dance of chimerical arrangements before dispersing, disappearing..

Seconds of Relaxation.

I find myself slobbering on the sofa, smugly content that dinner is done not only on time but before time and not a trifling one pot meal either, but a full fledged blow out dinner with the Dahl and the subzi and the rice and the roti and the salad and the poppadum and me gladdened.
How did this come to be?
I couldn't say but sometimes things just happen faster than usual. It takes anywhere between 1:15-1:30 mins to cook dinner and another fifteen minutes for the dishes and sprucing the kitchen, which includes wiping the tiles in front of the hob, cleaning the platform, scrubbing the sink and stacking the dishes to dry and when the dinner is done and tonight it will be done earlier than usual which means I will be done with all my chores with an extra bit of free time tonight.

Cream contour

Vanilla with chocolate bits and sea salt ice cream coming right up.
A pity I can't eat it though I might have had a small bite here and there from a cook's perspective of course, to check if the flavourings and sweetness are alright.
I'm happy to say that this is most promising.

creamy needs

Why do I feel like making a bit of delicious vanilla and salted chocolate ice cream right now?
Not like I'm going to be able to eat any of it. Something about summers and not having good ice cream stashed in my freezer.
I think I'm going to remedy this situation.
heavy machinery, here I come. 

the thing is..

I guess it's a trust thing. These kids have been coming over to my house since just a few weeks after I moved in, and in fact, I share a rather good rapport with their entire clan, sending gifts back and forth, swapping recipes, and perhaps they're just glad to have someone play with them or let them be especially during these summer holidays.
Yeah I do sometimes think about them intruding on my time and how the parents let them but I think the parents feel that if I were busy I'd not let them in, because often when I am indeed busy with chores and things that need a bit more than my attention I do often let them know of my inability to have them over and the children sweetly understand waiting to ring my bell a few days after to ask the same question and I can't and don't keep refusing them.
Like right now they're doing their own thing, playing monopoly and jenga while mauling the cat as I sit with a watchful eye and working on the side.

The struggles and what nots

Who me?
Saddled with work and without sounding mean stuck with kids.
The first instalment of demonic seed just got done with and now there are three more coming in only because one of them had her birthday yesterday and I couldn't say no.
But they've agreed to let me work in peace while they play monopoly.
Anytime now the doorbell will ring.
Ah, I don't resent it. It's just that I'd rather be alone when I've work, moreover it's difficult to concentrate because I've to be constantly aware of their activities and well being, not that my house has a sinkhole they'll proper themselves into but because children tend to knock things over and almost everything in this house has a tendency to crack into shards if knocked over.

Right, the weather is a clement 32° with 70% humidity, which almost makes me feel like it's about to rain inside the house and though this kind of weather in drier conditions is easily endured under a fan or cooler, humidity makes it unbearable not least because the skin feels icky and sweaty to the touch. There's always some perspiration setting on the scalp, it's stifling and recently washed long hair don't dry nearly quick enough and tend to stick to the nape of neck, on the arms, cheeks, wherever they tend to reach that is and it's annoying to the point of meltdown which is why I remedied this situation by turning on the air conditioning in all the rooms that I will frequent during this time. That is to say the living room and the study so that there's not a moment of suffering involved, and I do have pretension of being a dj with the ac remote, tuning it to suit situational needs.

I shall now tread over to the coffee machine and make myself a strong yet light espresso.

Lunch munch

This right here is a six egg frittata with two whole eggs and rest egg whites with all imaginable vegetables thrown into the mix to elevate mundane lunch into something of a vibgyor eat.

on a sable carpet would you tread

Hello dear sleep
It's me..again.
I beckon, even beg thee
I had contrived a situation where you'd register, recognise and visit me each night, to tire myself out of breath and lay fatigued, but as wrecked as I am in miserable need to see a dream you seem to have overlooked my plight, yet again, and so without the usual orgulous air for which you openly host disdain I come with an insomniac awareness to beseech.
In this universe large I am but a small being, but in my universe you see dearest sleep I am complete and the sole sun of a small solar system which indeed twirls on its own axis for 24 hours each day, and it's of the utmost importance that you visit it each night, in the dark when all is quiet, and I shall stay silent about your nightly rituals that involve brewing a bit of sleep with dreams thrown in or even nightmares if you prefer.

Quiet quivers

Nighttime and the cubist heart begins melting floors to form them into ceilings of a numbed soul, bottomless in its endeavours to pull down curtains instead; empty sheets that I drape myself in, needing instead to swaddle among the pulsating warmth of hulking weight that near lived within my core for a momentary moan, which exudes still, silently during invisible seconds of obscured twinkles flashing in momentous fluctuations palpitating from nerves to cell.

Thee

I'd do you right
in this dim light
straddling you
with..
all my might
from morn, my darling
to the last of tonight
each night

The more you know..

Say one thing about a day just not willing to work with you say Monday, because after all that I had to do today the prospect of editing photos wasn't all that appealing but I persevered until my eyes glazed over and the bell rang and there were children again, this time the much disciplined ones, the kinds that make an appointment before darkening my doors instead of barging in and now I have a bunch to entertain tomorrow afternoon because, well, I don't know.
Is this the universe's way of telling me that I need kids in my life?
I mean I have no aversion but one doesn't fight biology in such cases, right?
Right, so tomorrow I shall be saddled with some kids post lunch and I have informed them that I'll be busy with my stuff so they're pretty much going to be on their own and it works for them, as long as I'm around they're happy.
Silly this, I tell you.

Silly even more is that I miss the little dog I babysat for over a month and she misses me more because I hear her at the door, crying, and it hurts me.
I was informed that she doesn't like it anymore in her present and real house ever since she had a taste of casa Salama because damn it she was pampered and fed like a creature not a cretin.
There was more organic fresh food in her bowl, more petting and longer walks and in fact I usually spent the entire day playing with her, throwing things around for her to fetch and we had fun and not that I mean to be mean but I know what the present routine for her is like.
There is little interaction between dogs and humans in that house and the food is just a scoop of dried dog food from the packet, tumbled into her bowl. If that isn't lame I don't know what is.

Right, update is that I'm listening to red country while editing photographs and that I haven't finished with today's allotted work. I mean there's work and there's work and it's the latter I'm still not quite done with.

Ah, almost 6 and that means I've to start preparing dinner.
Ah well.. ugh

argh!!

If there ever were a sloth in digital form, vying to compete with a dead snail then my internet would be it!

Go to hell kid

Thank good for my moment of zen today or else I'd have killed a kid.
Ok look at the premises.
I'm quietly working out, doing my bit of Pilates and working up a good sweat when the bell begins ringing and I've only just started my workout and whaddya know it's the neighbours kid who has come back and is still in the middle of his summer holidays.
He immediately wants to come into my house and wonders why I'm dressed like I'm doing yoga.
I'm working out I tell him.
Okay he says and still wants to come in.
Come later I tell him and I see his child minder standing behind looking a bit embarrassed about her wards behaviour.
Okay he says and I get back to my Pilates and I'm another ten minutes in when the bell rings again like someone's leaning on it and well, it's the seed of satan himself now barging in and before I can say a word he's picking my iPad with his child minder in tow who silently mouths a sorry and follows him into the the house.
What the actual fuck.
I need to work out, my exercise mat is on the floor, my body is sweaty, hair in a bun and I've a kid and babysitter adorning my living room.
By this time I'm too pissed to work out obviously I don't want to exercise in front of an audience and I roll up my mat and repair to the bathroom to cool down my anger.
It irks me when my workouts are incomplete and that too on account of somebody else's selfish behaviour.

The child is prattling away by the time I'm done with the shower about some game and I feel the itch in my fingers wishing to do him some bodily harm but I refrain and quietly get on with cooking lunch.
I have since told both the kid and the childminder to only ever foul my doors after lunchtime, for I am a busy person before that in return for an understanding nod which hell knows how law abiding it actually is.

If today's act is replicated tomorrow I shall have to firmly ask the child to stop bothering me because goddamit I can't tolerate anyone coming in between me and my daily torture.

The seas might part

The kind of Monday that should have been a Sunday, because some weekdays begin their advent with an acceleration of the most prosaic order and it almost feels punctilious without the vexing eye roll that often comes about in surplus often aided and abetted by a murderous rage upon the dawning of the knowledge that numerous chores are attached at the hip on a Monday morning, which felt strangely absent today.

To say that I had a small jump in my step would be a bit of an exaggeration, because mornings miserably fail at any attempts to make me jovial, not that they care to, but I didn't exactly wish the path to this Monday be littered with bones of human kindness and drip blood of my enemies, in fact it was with almost benevolent eye that I looked upon the fallacies that humanity has to offer and ignored the blisters of life that have a habit of mounting into a suppurating wound when left unchecked.

It was with an even-keeled heart in unison with a judicious brain that I set about fixing breakfast and lunch and now after spending a couple hours with the cleaning and the washing and the what nots I sit here, feeling just as unneurotic.
As much as I'd like to take credit for this sudden jaunt in the coherence morning garden, it would be a lie were I not to attribute this feeling of early lucidity to the weather that feels just about right.
The weather that has been a bit of an upper ever since it rained all day yesterday and though it was a festering miasma of stifling humidity yesterday, today is all about being bright and windy without much of the musky fuss.
In fact my clearheadedness is a near echo of the weather, that is to say it's not fantastical, but it is comforting.

Tonight

Who me?
Drunk in some fucking pub!

&%#%**@

Weekends=domestic turbulence.
My hate for these two blighted days ever soaring.
The contradictions are infinite.
Let's go out as opposed to let's stay indoors and eat and lounge and do nothing and by the heavens I can't take that anymore.

Woof bye

There ain't a wagging tail
or a pair of doe eyes
to quietly reprimand me
nor a furry excited head
Resting in my lap
urging me to go out
for a walk.
because last night
the neighbours came back
thanked me profusely
couldn't believe their eyes
at her glossy coat
and a bit of a weight gain
and thanked me again
for babysitting their darling
who in the past 42 days
had become my darling too.

Hell baby

Talking of comics, I've been binge reading these gems much to the chagrin of people. But the fuck I care..