Dude you're India? Why haven't we met yet?
Cuz you live in Goa and I'm far too far.
Thursday, 31 October 2019
Din din
Leftover breakfast that was idli sambhar is also my dinner because I know and understand how shitty such leftovers feel and so I am here to the rescue, not least because dinner is gourd subzi and I just cooked it and I don't much like to eat it.
Like Antoinette
During moments of idleness in the kitchen I read my ongoing book about cities now coming to a finish or browse just haphazardly about with no intent nor purpose other than to refresh a blog and during one such haphazard surfing I was thrown an image which was a plain fruit and nut cake and now I want to eat cake.
Please help!
Please help!
The abomination
Dear diary,
Today I learnt that it is somebody else's responsibility to keep my house clean.
After a sudden unwanted rendezvous with the mysterious grime slick coating the back and underside of the kitchen tap I was forced to ask the lady of the house about the nature of that noxious presence. For all I know it could be a sentient pet and so I asked with curious eyes that didn't hide my absolute dread.
The housekeeper does a rubbish job of keeping everything clean she replied acidly. This grime is well, grime she said.
Thriving and building into a real estate of its own because the housekeeper doesn't clean well apparently.
I mean it's not our housekeeper's kitchen is it?
But okay, I roll with it and pause the conversation because for all you know she'll tell me to start cleaning it.
Today I learnt that it is somebody else's responsibility to keep my house clean.
After a sudden unwanted rendezvous with the mysterious grime slick coating the back and underside of the kitchen tap I was forced to ask the lady of the house about the nature of that noxious presence. For all I know it could be a sentient pet and so I asked with curious eyes that didn't hide my absolute dread.
The housekeeper does a rubbish job of keeping everything clean she replied acidly. This grime is well, grime she said.
Thriving and building into a real estate of its own because the housekeeper doesn't clean well apparently.
I mean it's not our housekeeper's kitchen is it?
But okay, I roll with it and pause the conversation because for all you know she'll tell me to start cleaning it.
^=^
My candle ocean driftwood
My music enigma
My mouth smoky
My music enigma
My mouth smoky
Sailing
Darling,
Did you know you're a drifter?
gliding through my everyday
in between my palms
under my fingers
Nestled inside
my eyes
Did you know you're a drifter?
gliding through my everyday
in between my palms
under my fingers
Nestled inside
my eyes
Irrevocable
Dear diary,
What is this irrecoverable honeyed hurt I feel attached to the base of my spine through my heart which sends shivers of undulating ecstasy through my every particle every now or so?
What is this irrecoverable honeyed hurt I feel attached to the base of my spine through my heart which sends shivers of undulating ecstasy through my every particle every now or so?
And this and that
The thing about this noon is that I can hear a rooster crow on one end of the room and tv sounds of repetitive brain cell death march on the other.
Something about this house that has me feeling like I'm living at the end of a tunnel and what am I if not claustrophobic?
Speaking of which I have negotiated myself out of the mosquito net situation because it was so out of my comfort zone that I might as well be inside a trench.
The mosquito net is since gone. I have now procured citronella essential oil that burns inside the room a few hour prior and there's nary a mosquito except pleasant residual mildly citric scent.
Something about this house that has me feeling like I'm living at the end of a tunnel and what am I if not claustrophobic?
Speaking of which I have negotiated myself out of the mosquito net situation because it was so out of my comfort zone that I might as well be inside a trench.
The mosquito net is since gone. I have now procured citronella essential oil that burns inside the room a few hour prior and there's nary a mosquito except pleasant residual mildly citric scent.
Miss kiss
Who me?
Listening to synth wave mix and wanting to fly down to you on a horse automaton.
Listening to synth wave mix and wanting to fly down to you on a horse automaton.
A new day
Morning and I find myself in a most annoyed state for no reason whatsoever except that I don't want to be here anymore.
The fan is a major source of mood swings because all night I slept under a super fast noise making machine which is the only option other than dead wind which is its second setting, because who needs grey areas and my ears can only hear that constant whirring now because probably tinnitus.
Air conditioning is out of question because it's not warm enough for that and so it's enduring a few more days in this weird shoddily put together menagerie of a household which after almost a decade I still cannot seem to love.
Could be some major road block from my end too, maybe I'm not being as receptive or maybe I just don't want to look around or beyond these small issues and so I have ensconced myself in my bedroom for the few moments to myself having tea and listening to Amjad Ali Khan's sarod, hoping to Botox my mood because once the day is in full swing I have a king list of chores to attend which honestly I don't much mind as king as they're not given to me when I'm fresh out of the shower.
Right then, to the daily pyre of monotony.
The fan is a major source of mood swings because all night I slept under a super fast noise making machine which is the only option other than dead wind which is its second setting, because who needs grey areas and my ears can only hear that constant whirring now because probably tinnitus.
Air conditioning is out of question because it's not warm enough for that and so it's enduring a few more days in this weird shoddily put together menagerie of a household which after almost a decade I still cannot seem to love.
Could be some major road block from my end too, maybe I'm not being as receptive or maybe I just don't want to look around or beyond these small issues and so I have ensconced myself in my bedroom for the few moments to myself having tea and listening to Amjad Ali Khan's sarod, hoping to Botox my mood because once the day is in full swing I have a king list of chores to attend which honestly I don't much mind as king as they're not given to me when I'm fresh out of the shower.
Right then, to the daily pyre of monotony.
In between the lines
Kiss me darling
I'm bored
as are you
aren't we two
the best out there?
hilariously ill equipped
to deal
with our realities
absconding from our beds
into each other's blogs
I'm bored
as are you
aren't we two
the best out there?
hilariously ill equipped
to deal
with our realities
absconding from our beds
into each other's blogs
-:|
Nighttime and the needs are in
to spread atop your needing skin
Come to me now darling
My pious charade grows thin
to spread atop your needing skin
Come to me now darling
My pious charade grows thin
Wednesday, 30 October 2019
Sniffs
There's no reason for me to be trolling the webs for a good frankincense and oudh essential oil but here I am, doing exactly that because why not?
Meh
The entire family whirrs into animations and they plonk themselves in front of the tv to watch गुड़िया हमारी सभी पे भारी ।
It's a story about a relatively poor family where everyone despite the poverty and struggles in life is happy because they have a large hearted daughter and it's created to be funny.
Ok, I don't care.
Why is everyone here even watching it because pretty sure no one relates to not a single person on this show .
God!!!
Smite me!
It's a story about a relatively poor family where everyone despite the poverty and struggles in life is happy because they have a large hearted daughter and it's created to be funny.
Ok, I don't care.
Why is everyone here even watching it because pretty sure no one relates to not a single person on this show .
God!!!
Smite me!
Bytes
I welcome rolls and scrolls and walls of text to dive into and never surface.
—
One house two married couples, four strangers, two insipid men, two bored women sharing days, food, beds, boredom.
—
Walking in the garden feels like butting headlong into a field of mosquitoes for masochistic pleasure .
—
One house two married couples, four strangers, two insipid men, two bored women sharing days, food, beds, boredom.
—
Walking in the garden feels like butting headlong into a field of mosquitoes for masochistic pleasure .
Whirr it goes
Once again the blender grates on my nerves.
Why does every moment need to involve rotating around the kitchen or doing something related to breakfast or lunch all the time?
It's either tv or chores for the lady of the house and by the heavens there's a noticeable lack of hobbies here.
Why does every moment need to involve rotating around the kitchen or doing something related to breakfast or lunch all the time?
It's either tv or chores for the lady of the house and by the heavens there's a noticeable lack of hobbies here.
What did I walk into?
We all have a certain way of life and mine includes not sprawling on the couch with one leg hanging down while the other rests on the antimacassar on the head rest.
This is literally spread eagle style and looks uncouth to boot and why would someone want to watch tv in this ungainly manner is beyond me, perhaps it's comfortable or the sofa is too small for their enormous size?
Well, for one don't do it when you're aware that you're a man and there are guests in your house and that it looks pretty ugly and vulgar.
Being a senior citizen is no excuse.
I mean what the fuck!!!
This is literally spread eagle style and looks uncouth to boot and why would someone want to watch tv in this ungainly manner is beyond me, perhaps it's comfortable or the sofa is too small for their enormous size?
Well, for one don't do it when you're aware that you're a man and there are guests in your house and that it looks pretty ugly and vulgar.
Being a senior citizen is no excuse.
I mean what the fuck!!!
Aye doll
Who me?
Cooking lunch and you?
- -
Invincible cities it is. Hopefully I will like it. :)
Cooking lunch and you?
- -
Invincible cities it is. Hopefully I will like it. :)
Revulsion
Just seeing the underside of the kitchen tap
gave me a mini stroke something of a heart attack
what is that gunk assembled like an army of plague?
thick blob of black grime almost hanging on its tail
like destitute dreams of misery
It sits unmoving in thick sheet of pain
gave me a mini stroke something of a heart attack
what is that gunk assembled like an army of plague?
thick blob of black grime almost hanging on its tail
like destitute dreams of misery
It sits unmoving in thick sheet of pain
Mood: sappy
रफ्ता रफ्ता वो मेरे हस्ती का सामां हो गये
पहले जां, फिर जानेजां, फिर जानेजाना हो गये
प्यार जब हद से बढ़ा सारे तकल्लुफ मिट गए,
आप से, फिर तुम हुए, फिर तू का खुनवाँ हो गए
-तस्लीम फ़ाज़ली
To think
One could say I'm done with my showering and everything almost 45 minutes earlier and that is only because I woke up fifteen minutes earlier .
Can't imagine the difference that time can make when each day is an exact repetition of your daily activities because there just isn't anything to do here except chores and screen time.
Maybe I should read something, like an in the meanwhile kind of book here.
I'd reread wuthering heights last time maybe I could another book that needs thought.
Any suggestions?
Can't imagine the difference that time can make when each day is an exact repetition of your daily activities because there just isn't anything to do here except chores and screen time.
Maybe I should read something, like an in the meanwhile kind of book here.
I'd reread wuthering heights last time maybe I could another book that needs thought.
Any suggestions?
Music now
Music this morning is Mallikarjun Mansur's ragas to drive away the residual ennui that affects this household which holds me in its grip everyday, trying to drag me to the edges of jaded nimbus. The inimical silence broken by soft tones of gifted voice that works like a mantra to rid each corner in my bedroom of lethargy, like vibgyor lighting up monotone skies.
Morn song
Morning and the warmth from outside translates into a rusty hue that touches my bedroom through ochre curtains and I'm a monument of liquid brass staring at tawny toned walls that echo my sentiments.
Applauses
What did I do just now
Scroll through all you ever wrote
some poems called out
From pages of web I'd not visited
in a while
to keep them safe
for pauper days
and now I devour
your every verse
so superb, baby.
Scroll through all you ever wrote
some poems called out
From pages of web I'd not visited
in a while
to keep them safe
for pauper days
and now I devour
your every verse
so superb, baby.
Kiss:kiss
That time of the night
when my fantasies
take flight
and knock on your door
laying down a red carpet
a flying carpet for you my love
when my fantasies
take flight
and knock on your door
laying down a red carpet
a flying carpet for you my love
:/
What does a girl have to do to get laid around here?
Cheat, I guess.
Cheat, I guess.
Sniff
So what if I'm lying on the bed under high speed fan with white lights on my head?
Nothing except tears and sads my darling.
Nothing except tears and sads my darling.
Tuesday, 29 October 2019
SOS
तारक मेहता का उल्टा चश्मा is still on air and my last two grey cells are slowly perishing.
Help!
Help!
Google eyes
And this evening is brought to you by a television serial supposedly comedy but really it makes me want to cry tears of blood.
The lights are all on and the entire fam is plopped on assorted sofa's in front of tv, unanimously laughing at the witty vernacular puns which my ears are vehemently trying to shut out but the high volume makes it near impossible and so I smile when everyone laughs to let them know I care just nearly enough. :)
The lights are all on and the entire fam is plopped on assorted sofa's in front of tv, unanimously laughing at the witty vernacular puns which my ears are vehemently trying to shut out but the high volume makes it near impossible and so I smile when everyone laughs to let them know I care just nearly enough. :)
Scrubs
The maid didn't come as they are wont to and neither came a forewarning on their behalf as it usually happens mentioning their absence and so the skyscraper of dishes that had been left in the sink since breakfast was my opportunity to hate today even more and how could I let such a superb chance pass and so here I am, a goodly forty minutes later cribbing about the dishes I had to cleanse.
I found polythenes embedded between dishes and almost fainted but this is hardly the place to be so dramatic and so I persevered because what am I if not helpful. ;)
I found polythenes embedded between dishes and almost fainted but this is hardly the place to be so dramatic and so I persevered because what am I if not helpful. ;)
Quo vadis?
Maybe it's petty of me to say so but I do not like anyone else who has no business in my bedroom to enter it while I'm not there and this is something that often happens in this house.
It's not my house, sure, but for such time that I'm living in the room given to me I shall treat it as my personal space but personal space and privacy are not strong words here and often times I see the lady of the house unabashedly enter and leave my room irrespective of whether I'm in the room or not.
Most times a visit is paid to my living quarters while I'm not there just to check whether I haven't left the light, fan or geyser on and if something is left switched on because maybe I have stepped out of my bedroom to make some coffee for a minute it shall be turned off, and sometimes I forget to turn things off. It's no biggie, but I'm wrong and it is a biggie because the lady of the house has a habit of walking around all over the house turning off everything that's been left on.
I get it. It's a misplaced sense of not wasting anything but for heavens sake leave my room be.
It's not my house, sure, but for such time that I'm living in the room given to me I shall treat it as my personal space but personal space and privacy are not strong words here and often times I see the lady of the house unabashedly enter and leave my room irrespective of whether I'm in the room or not.
Most times a visit is paid to my living quarters while I'm not there just to check whether I haven't left the light, fan or geyser on and if something is left switched on because maybe I have stepped out of my bedroom to make some coffee for a minute it shall be turned off, and sometimes I forget to turn things off. It's no biggie, but I'm wrong and it is a biggie because the lady of the house has a habit of walking around all over the house turning off everything that's been left on.
I get it. It's a misplaced sense of not wasting anything but for heavens sake leave my room be.
Oh dear no.
Finding polythenes in the kitchen sink is my absolute worst nightmare .
This is a normal practise here apparently, wherein people sometimes toss plastic bags after emptying fruits and vegetables in the sink and it keeps lying there getting wet because it's not picked up and thrown out of the sink while dishes etc get deposited there because it will eventually get thrown out once the dishes get washed etc etc.
This scenario shaketh my very soul.
It's a whole new world out here baby!
This is a normal practise here apparently, wherein people sometimes toss plastic bags after emptying fruits and vegetables in the sink and it keeps lying there getting wet because it's not picked up and thrown out of the sink while dishes etc get deposited there because it will eventually get thrown out once the dishes get washed etc etc.
This scenario shaketh my very soul.
It's a whole new world out here baby!
Kira
Food grinder grating at my nerves
Fucking my zen
looting my compassion towards fellow beings drilling holes in my soul
Mutilating my ear drums
blending my brains into a massive slush
Fucking my zen
looting my compassion towards fellow beings drilling holes in my soul
Mutilating my ear drums
blending my brains into a massive slush
:\
The thing about supplements is that they only work if and when you're healthy.
But here itself
11 in the am and lunch is getting cooked not two hours after breakfast and in fact I'd gotten done with some part of cooking and gone into the shower and already as I'm out there's a list of things I must do.
All I want is to sit and listen to some nujabes while I air dry my hair and reflect on life.
All I want is to sit and listen to some nujabes while I air dry my hair and reflect on life.
Morning show
Dear Dairy
It's another morning already. I struggled to wake up as I waded through morning dreams of amorous nature that left me with a strange ache in the core of my heart.
The television is in full flow, news channels are screaming, comedy shows are screaming and everyone is watching.
The channels are languorously flipped from one pile of garbage show to another with the volume turned up so high that it slowly pulverises the zen I've been trying to grab onto.
I have now since turned up the volume of morning ragas I like listening to and I currently wallow with a cup of tea and a sea of memories in my solemn room.
It's another morning already. I struggled to wake up as I waded through morning dreams of amorous nature that left me with a strange ache in the core of my heart.
The television is in full flow, news channels are screaming, comedy shows are screaming and everyone is watching.
The channels are languorously flipped from one pile of garbage show to another with the volume turned up so high that it slowly pulverises the zen I've been trying to grab onto.
I have now since turned up the volume of morning ragas I like listening to and I currently wallow with a cup of tea and a sea of memories in my solemn room.
Misses
This stark night
I wish the universe would fold
and we could collide
I wish the universe would fold
and we could collide
Why should I not do something horrible?
Nobody! Exactly nobody in this house feels hot in their container like home with insufficient air ventilation .
I was out in the evening and the weather is extremely pleasant and were there any windows which operated like normal windows this room would have been a most comfortable abode but, as with everything in this house, nothing is as it should be and therefore this room is stifling, but the air conditioner is out of question because people who co habit with me immediately started complaining about the cool wind.
And not five minutes had passed and I had to switch it off.
I want to cry.
I was out in the evening and the weather is extremely pleasant and were there any windows which operated like normal windows this room would have been a most comfortable abode but, as with everything in this house, nothing is as it should be and therefore this room is stifling, but the air conditioner is out of question because people who co habit with me immediately started complaining about the cool wind.
And not five minutes had passed and I had to switch it off.
I want to cry.
Monday, 28 October 2019
I’ve been told
So bored that Instagram tell me that I'm all caught up. That I've seen all the posts in last 3 days .
Oh well.
Oh well.
The roof over our heads
The fans of this house don't have any grey areas.
It's either all or nothing!
I keep looking around at the odd architecture of the house and its mediocre layout with badly managed everything, its poor infrastructure and lousily put together decor and I realize that not much thought was ever put into anything .
The end goal was conceived which was to make a large house and executed in a way that didn't matter to anybody.
No detailing, no finesse, no creativity, no accountability.
Now it's being lived in by people of the same strain of reasoning and thinking.
When they thought to begin living here it was pretty much their end goal. How they did it was not so important.
What should have been thrown or donated to a museum still decorates coffee tables and walls. Some of it so dilapidated that it might as well have been scrap, in fact there is so much scrap one could fill a shop but the residents of this house hold it to their hearts.
It's messy, filthy, cringe inducing and even unsanitary and yet saying anything to that effect might result in a barrage of verbal volleys so petty and to the point that one simply ignores.
And so, this situation is beyond improvement but sometimes during moments of idleness I think how I'd like to refurbish and refurnish this house and I'm often times quite pleased with the end results.
I could write at length on this topic.
It's either all or nothing!
I keep looking around at the odd architecture of the house and its mediocre layout with badly managed everything, its poor infrastructure and lousily put together decor and I realize that not much thought was ever put into anything .
The end goal was conceived which was to make a large house and executed in a way that didn't matter to anybody.
No detailing, no finesse, no creativity, no accountability.
Now it's being lived in by people of the same strain of reasoning and thinking.
When they thought to begin living here it was pretty much their end goal. How they did it was not so important.
What should have been thrown or donated to a museum still decorates coffee tables and walls. Some of it so dilapidated that it might as well have been scrap, in fact there is so much scrap one could fill a shop but the residents of this house hold it to their hearts.
It's messy, filthy, cringe inducing and even unsanitary and yet saying anything to that effect might result in a barrage of verbal volleys so petty and to the point that one simply ignores.
And so, this situation is beyond improvement but sometimes during moments of idleness I think how I'd like to refurbish and refurnish this house and I'm often times quite pleased with the end results.
I could write at length on this topic.
Questions about demise
I discovered a dead lizard. More like its dried out carcass and casually mentioned it in the earshot of the lady of the house and she near interrogated me regarding its death.
How did it die ?
Was it stuck on the window ledge?
Is it large?
You think it died because it couldn't escape?
Well, I don't know. I've not prepared my thesis on it yet and I didn't dare ask her if she needed a paper written on the lizard's death because for all you know she'd have said 'yes'!
How did it die ?
Was it stuck on the window ledge?
Is it large?
You think it died because it couldn't escape?
Well, I don't know. I've not prepared my thesis on it yet and I didn't dare ask her if she needed a paper written on the lizard's death because for all you know she'd have said 'yes'!
Argh
'The washing machine must be done now. Hang the clothes up to dry', she says and quickly adds 'once you're done with your lunch'.
I slowly chew my food trying to realize any flavour and slowly nod.
I slowly chew my food trying to realize any flavour and slowly nod.
Stench of it all
I do not understand whether it's the patriarchy or the long sedimented indifference in having their needs catered to that plagues the generation that birthed us.
I see my mother in law serving food to her husband who only pops out of his room to either watch tv or eat his meals.
She asks every couple minutes what else he'd like and he tells her what needs be served.
Bring me water he'll say as a matter of fact and the slow walking woman behind thick goggles as a result of cataract surgery hearkens.
She drags her feet unhurriedly and brings back a glass of water, a bowl of curry, casserole of rice because food hasn't been set and served on table seeing how it's not yet lunch time but her husband wanted to eat and so he did.
What bothers me most is that he takes it for granted that the moment he will set himself on the dining chair it will become his wife's or his daughter in law's duty to immediately begin asking him if he's hungry and start serving him food and that is exactly what happens because that's just how it is and it's not his job to venture into the kitchen and serve himself. No, not at all. It's everyone else's job to see that he is fed!
And once lunch is done he pushes back his chair and walks back into his room or in front of the tv.
The dishes will be cleared by whomsoever wants to clear them because keeping dishes in the sink is so next century.
I see my mother in law serving food to her husband who only pops out of his room to either watch tv or eat his meals.
She asks every couple minutes what else he'd like and he tells her what needs be served.
Bring me water he'll say as a matter of fact and the slow walking woman behind thick goggles as a result of cataract surgery hearkens.
She drags her feet unhurriedly and brings back a glass of water, a bowl of curry, casserole of rice because food hasn't been set and served on table seeing how it's not yet lunch time but her husband wanted to eat and so he did.
What bothers me most is that he takes it for granted that the moment he will set himself on the dining chair it will become his wife's or his daughter in law's duty to immediately begin asking him if he's hungry and start serving him food and that is exactly what happens because that's just how it is and it's not his job to venture into the kitchen and serve himself. No, not at all. It's everyone else's job to see that he is fed!
And once lunch is done he pushes back his chair and walks back into his room or in front of the tv.
The dishes will be cleared by whomsoever wants to clear them because keeping dishes in the sink is so next century.
Lenses goggle
I am just sitting
On the couch
In the living room
in a house full of people
who slowly crawl
Through life
content and bored
Dissipated in their enthusiasm
their lifelessness a utility tool
celebrating their obeisance
on particular dates and days
On the couch
In the living room
in a house full of people
who slowly crawl
Through life
content and bored
Dissipated in their enthusiasm
their lifelessness a utility tool
celebrating their obeisance
on particular dates and days
No vibe
Telling me to do the same thing five times in two minutes isn't going to make me do it any faster.
You’re my rocket
I want to go to space but all I got is a helium balloon.
Longings and music
Who me?
Purifying my mornings with Pandit Jasraj's vocals to the background of Amjad Ali Khan's sarod to my swiftly vanishing jaded hues this morning.
The flood gates are open, the missing is in flow, heart awash with acknowledgement of absence and eyes beguiling their sore need to see a smile.
Purifying my mornings with Pandit Jasraj's vocals to the background of Amjad Ali Khan's sarod to my swiftly vanishing jaded hues this morning.
The flood gates are open, the missing is in flow, heart awash with acknowledgement of absence and eyes beguiling their sore need to see a smile.
_\|
That time of the night
when I can fuck you up just right
when I can fuck you up just right
This lit day
Diwali for me has always been a very depressing day since as far back as I can remember and I don't know the root cause of it but it's sure something psychological.
I've disliked Diwali and always felt off, low and lonely and this feeling grew a lot more during my last year in school and ever since I've just not been able to celebrate Diwali with much heart at all.
It somehow always makes me feel very disconnected, angry and stupidly annoyed and though I wasn't hating it as much this time around it did nothing to abate the hollow forlorn disassociation I always feel on this day.
This too shall pass as they say and so it will.
I've disliked Diwali and always felt off, low and lonely and this feeling grew a lot more during my last year in school and ever since I've just not been able to celebrate Diwali with much heart at all.
It somehow always makes me feel very disconnected, angry and stupidly annoyed and though I wasn't hating it as much this time around it did nothing to abate the hollow forlorn disassociation I always feel on this day.
This too shall pass as they say and so it will.
Sunday, 27 October 2019
What what?
I zoomed into one of the Diwali pics my parents put up and what on earth is a gun doing here?
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Mend yer ways
Who me?
Trying to revive the lost art of housekeeping in a house which probably has no knowledge that something such actually exists.
Trying to revive the lost art of housekeeping in a house which probably has no knowledge that something such actually exists.
Bleurgh
Who puts their feet up on the coffee table? Denizens of this house is who.
It's so ridiculous . Sometimes these people eat on the said table while watching television and when they're not it's feet up!
It's so ridiculous . Sometimes these people eat on the said table while watching television and when they're not it's feet up!
:/
The repeater I have put in me room has caused DNS poisoning.
Today
Dear diary,
Today I repaired the rotating top of the round dining table which has been disabled for the last two years because of decades of neglect which resulted in poor hygiene on the table's part.
Thick piles of sticky grime clung under which I had to scrape off with a blunt knife and literally bleach washed fossils that had begun collecting and stayed embedded beneath the rotating mechanism. This table has seen the worst of it all that has been oil, sweet syrup, pickles, ghee, paint, rotten fruit stains and had I dared to look upon it under the microscope I might have gotten something of a stroke and so I refrained .
All this table got in return for rendering its services was snide remarks on its make and durability and neglect all along with zero maintenance and yet after a decade it serves this family well.
Had it been maintained there wouldn't be any complaints but that's how it is with people .
No work only rewards.
I am now done with the task and look forward to dinner on a very shiny table with a well oiled and easy spin rotating top.
Today I repaired the rotating top of the round dining table which has been disabled for the last two years because of decades of neglect which resulted in poor hygiene on the table's part.
Thick piles of sticky grime clung under which I had to scrape off with a blunt knife and literally bleach washed fossils that had begun collecting and stayed embedded beneath the rotating mechanism. This table has seen the worst of it all that has been oil, sweet syrup, pickles, ghee, paint, rotten fruit stains and had I dared to look upon it under the microscope I might have gotten something of a stroke and so I refrained .
All this table got in return for rendering its services was snide remarks on its make and durability and neglect all along with zero maintenance and yet after a decade it serves this family well.
Had it been maintained there wouldn't be any complaints but that's how it is with people .
No work only rewards.
I am now done with the task and look forward to dinner on a very shiny table with a well oiled and easy spin rotating top.
Under the radar
Who me?
Sitting zoned out and answering questions with utmost interest and such avid inputs that it's almost suspicious for someone who knows me. Thankfully everyone here is only just mildly aware of my existence.
Sitting zoned out and answering questions with utmost interest and such avid inputs that it's almost suspicious for someone who knows me. Thankfully everyone here is only just mildly aware of my existence.
Tock tock
Gong gong gong says the clock as it strikes three.
Thrice to let everyone know the time which is three.
Shut up clock!
You're gonna wake up everyone and I'll have to make small talks.
Thrice to let everyone know the time which is three.
Shut up clock!
You're gonna wake up everyone and I'll have to make small talks.
Nap nod
That time of afternoon when everyone except me is asleep.
What is so special about noon that makes one want to take a nap.. I wouldn't know me but I'd sure like to find out.
Is it cuz half the day has now ended or is to recoup the energy for rest of the day lies ahead? But aren't they lucky those who are visited twice by sleep every day .
What is so special about noon that makes one want to take a nap.. I wouldn't know me but I'd sure like to find out.
Is it cuz half the day has now ended or is to recoup the energy for rest of the day lies ahead? But aren't they lucky those who are visited twice by sleep every day .
As things are
The internet is at it again and I am in a murderous mood I say as I type with a singular 4G bar.
Yesterday things had gone on so spectacularly splendid that I was YouTubing on a 1080 p with nary a glitch and right now I can't as much as refresh a website.
I kind of feel relate with volcanoes at this point.
Yesterday things had gone on so spectacularly splendid that I was YouTubing on a 1080 p with nary a glitch and right now I can't as much as refresh a website.
I kind of feel relate with volcanoes at this point.
Boiling point
But but how is it?
I have just stepped out of the shower and I'm already asked what I want to make for lunch!! Hah! I want to make nothing save cooked air and warm water dear mother but I get you and damn it if I don't hate the idea of going into the kitchen just freshly showered and recently stoned.
What I want to make for lunch just what feels like barely an hour after making breakfast is some nice coffee.
And that is what I shall do.
Coffee first and your whims later.
I have just stepped out of the shower and I'm already asked what I want to make for lunch!! Hah! I want to make nothing save cooked air and warm water dear mother but I get you and damn it if I don't hate the idea of going into the kitchen just freshly showered and recently stoned.
What I want to make for lunch just what feels like barely an hour after making breakfast is some nice coffee.
And that is what I shall do.
Coffee first and your whims later.
Lights on
It's Diwali today, and to think I'd celebrated this a month ago when I felt every molecule within me lit up and on fire with desirous bursts of orgasmic crackers.
A very happy Diwali my love.
A very happy Diwali my love.
Soul pathos
The idiotic clock will strike every hour to tell the time and I wonder what makes it so enthusiastic?
Apart from the batteries that is and its mechanism which is useless without the batteries and so now I wonder what are our batteries? Our brains? or do we also have some metaphysical batteries that keep us ticking like a soul which somehow is an idea I'd love subscribing to because of the romance adhered to it but then once our brain is dead the soul does not do much to revive us, which makes it an utterly useless metaphysical organ to have.
Apart from the batteries that is and its mechanism which is useless without the batteries and so now I wonder what are our batteries? Our brains? or do we also have some metaphysical batteries that keep us ticking like a soul which somehow is an idea I'd love subscribing to because of the romance adhered to it but then once our brain is dead the soul does not do much to revive us, which makes it an utterly useless metaphysical organ to have.
See me baby
I stare out of the window
into a house
full of windows
silhouette of a human being
made out of shadows
from a hanging sheet
stares back at me
through those windows
into a house
full of windows
silhouette of a human being
made out of shadows
from a hanging sheet
stares back at me
through those windows
Saturday, 26 October 2019
Utterly condemnable
Who on earth puts potatoes in rajmah? I'll tell you who! People who don't know anything about favours that's who!
I was greeted with vegetables and a vat full of cooked rajmah with surreptitious islands bobbing about its surface and on closer inspection they turned out to be fat pieces of potato.
As I proceeded to pick them out I was sternly asked not to meddle with them.
I protested saying that it wasn't right to cook potatoes with rajmah that it was an insult to the lovely legumes that legumes and starches don't go well cooked together but I was silenced with statistical factoids about how many people love cooking potatoes with all sorts of dried beans and chickpeas and that was all my ears could hear because at that moment my insides gagged.
Right ho then!!
I have now partaken in cooking of this blasphemy and I will regret it for a very long time.
I was greeted with vegetables and a vat full of cooked rajmah with surreptitious islands bobbing about its surface and on closer inspection they turned out to be fat pieces of potato.
As I proceeded to pick them out I was sternly asked not to meddle with them.
I protested saying that it wasn't right to cook potatoes with rajmah that it was an insult to the lovely legumes that legumes and starches don't go well cooked together but I was silenced with statistical factoids about how many people love cooking potatoes with all sorts of dried beans and chickpeas and that was all my ears could hear because at that moment my insides gagged.
Right ho then!!
I have now partaken in cooking of this blasphemy and I will regret it for a very long time.
Like clockwork
It's getting late. Cook dinner I was just informed while I sat contemplating which music to listen to.
The kitchen is going to hear some cannibal corpse.
The kitchen is going to hear some cannibal corpse.
And so
Coffee was good but the sandwich was extremely so so.
So now I'll have another coffee and then back home where there's dinner to cook, lights to light, hopes to crush, desires to die .
So now I'll have another coffee and then back home where there's dinner to cook, lights to light, hopes to crush, desires to die .
Surreptitious
Who me?
Sitting at Indian coffee house and waiting for coffee and a chicken grilled sandwich to arrive because what am I if not alone?
Sitting at Indian coffee house and waiting for coffee and a chicken grilled sandwich to arrive because what am I if not alone?
Box shill
The dog of this house has acquired every characteristic and personality trait of its denizens and so it just won't do anything remotely interesting .
He doesn't like to play and fetch. He doesn't much like getting petted and that's a big one for dogs who literally want to exist for pets alone and yet this dog only comes to life when he sees flies and rodents, which is when he gets supercharged and begins a tirade of growls, jumps and madness. But that's as far as he'd go.
What's the point of this post?
The point is that unlike my mom's dog with whom I spent a month, this one isn't interested in getting wrestled and I'm so used to mock fighting with my mom's extremely affectionate and playful dog who always left me bruised that I find my aggression building and now I think I'm going to get into a fist fight with someone and man do I have someone.
He doesn't like to play and fetch. He doesn't much like getting petted and that's a big one for dogs who literally want to exist for pets alone and yet this dog only comes to life when he sees flies and rodents, which is when he gets supercharged and begins a tirade of growls, jumps and madness. But that's as far as he'd go.
What's the point of this post?
The point is that unlike my mom's dog with whom I spent a month, this one isn't interested in getting wrestled and I'm so used to mock fighting with my mom's extremely affectionate and playful dog who always left me bruised that I find my aggression building and now I think I'm going to get into a fist fight with someone and man do I have someone.
Fun fun fun
Cuz it's so much fun to wake up 5 in the morning and then sleep the entire day through.
Tasks
Had your lunch?
Yes
Cleared the table?
Yes
Have you hung the clothes out for drying?
No.
Get on it then.
Ok.
Yes
Cleared the table?
Yes
Have you hung the clothes out for drying?
No.
Get on it then.
Ok.
—-:
I've already been told to get prepping for lunch but here I lie on the bed, zoning out, listening to sovietwave and generally chilling as I know I must.
I hear
I have a small solution to my previous nights problem.
There exists a cheap led lamp which on my previous excursion here I'd bought from a local gift shop and it's an ugly little white thing but so much better than the pure tubes of white incandescence hanging overhead and so I have now lit the said led lamp, faced it to a wall and it's enough to brighten the entire room.
It literally looks like overcast afternoon now which is the weather outside.
Cool, breezy and cloudy all over much in contrast to this badly aerated zero ventilated container like house where the windows are near boarded shut and all the light is extracted by white tubes.
There exists a cheap led lamp which on my previous excursion here I'd bought from a local gift shop and it's an ugly little white thing but so much better than the pure tubes of white incandescence hanging overhead and so I have now lit the said led lamp, faced it to a wall and it's enough to brighten the entire room.
It literally looks like overcast afternoon now which is the weather outside.
Cool, breezy and cloudy all over much in contrast to this badly aerated zero ventilated container like house where the windows are near boarded shut and all the light is extracted by white tubes.
Trues
Why are you so mean to me I'm asked.
How the hell can one not? I wonder.
How the hell can one not? I wonder.
Now you see me
Spray the dog she said in a matter of factly tone to me who'd sprung fresh out of a shower in high spirits.
In some time she added looking at my annoyed face.
'Some time' in this house means two minutes.
In some time she added looking at my annoyed face.
'Some time' in this house means two minutes.
It’s ze morning
'Give the dog a bath' I was told this morning.
Me specifically cuz I'm the only able bodied person in this house who hasn't recently had a heart attack or a cataract operation or a back muscle spasm.
Any heavy duty work which needs pushing, pulling or lifting is immediately awarded to me.
This house literally feels like a hospital.
Heating bags on my bed, pouches of medication on dining table, back support belts, heating pads and other paraphernalia I thankfully do not even know the need for.
Can I be thankful enough for my ocean scented candle and a Bluetooth speaker which currently plays vocal mastery of Pt. Bhimsen Joshi while the room smells of something light and fluffy much like a wave luxuriously dressed for an appointment at sea shore? I think not but add to it the mounting hurt of crushing pining that seems to have laminated itself upon me.
Morning then.
Have a stellar day.
Me specifically cuz I'm the only able bodied person in this house who hasn't recently had a heart attack or a cataract operation or a back muscle spasm.
Any heavy duty work which needs pushing, pulling or lifting is immediately awarded to me.
This house literally feels like a hospital.
Heating bags on my bed, pouches of medication on dining table, back support belts, heating pads and other paraphernalia I thankfully do not even know the need for.
Can I be thankful enough for my ocean scented candle and a Bluetooth speaker which currently plays vocal mastery of Pt. Bhimsen Joshi while the room smells of something light and fluffy much like a wave luxuriously dressed for an appointment at sea shore? I think not but add to it the mounting hurt of crushing pining that seems to have laminated itself upon me.
Morning then.
Have a stellar day.
My friend
Pretty sure this fan is talking to me
it says kill everyone.
It orders me to get a knife and slit everyone's throats in their sleep.
I think I'll go find an apron.
it says kill everyone.
It orders me to get a knife and slit everyone's throats in their sleep.
I think I'll go find an apron.
Tonight isn’t happening
I'm a monkey in a cage baby.
I'm just roving mad inside a gauze cage scratching at these walls wondering why I can't see the sky .
Get me out of here
I want to run away
This isn't a place for me
This isn't where I want to stay .
I'm just roving mad inside a gauze cage scratching at these walls wondering why I can't see the sky .
Get me out of here
I want to run away
This isn't a place for me
This isn't where I want to stay .
Snap and I’ll wake up
I'm inside a wall of net.
I can't sleep. I shall most certainly die tonight because I can't I think, I can't centre.
All I know is that I'm in bed with white lights above my head that if I switch off I'll be in utter and complete darkness so much that I won't know where to land my feet.
It's all or nothing here and I'm a person of needs and rituals .
It's claustrophobic. Everything I need is outside the net and I can't in the middle of night just stretch out my hand and pick my bottle of water cuz I'm inside a net house with the fan on full speed which is my most extreme pet peeve. Fans need to be just fast enough to circulate air without being disturbing with a side of air conditioning if it's too hot and currently it isn't but because this room is a container, the whirring of the fan is a must for the anorexic tendrils of air passing through the window mesh which is in two layers, so imagine the abundance of microscopic holes sprawled around the window that can reduce the most potent wind to a feeble trail of paused air, add to that the breathlessness which comes from claustrophobia and this is a great sacrifice of freedom because I can't just walk out of the bed cuz guess what I'll walk right into the net.
My freedom of movement is unbearably restricted and I can't sleep like this.
I think I might cry.
I can't sleep. I shall most certainly die tonight because I can't I think, I can't centre.
All I know is that I'm in bed with white lights above my head that if I switch off I'll be in utter and complete darkness so much that I won't know where to land my feet.
It's all or nothing here and I'm a person of needs and rituals .
It's claustrophobic. Everything I need is outside the net and I can't in the middle of night just stretch out my hand and pick my bottle of water cuz I'm inside a net house with the fan on full speed which is my most extreme pet peeve. Fans need to be just fast enough to circulate air without being disturbing with a side of air conditioning if it's too hot and currently it isn't but because this room is a container, the whirring of the fan is a must for the anorexic tendrils of air passing through the window mesh which is in two layers, so imagine the abundance of microscopic holes sprawled around the window that can reduce the most potent wind to a feeble trail of paused air, add to that the breathlessness which comes from claustrophobia and this is a great sacrifice of freedom because I can't just walk out of the bed cuz guess what I'll walk right into the net.
My freedom of movement is unbearably restricted and I can't sleep like this.
I think I might cry.
Friday, 25 October 2019
Mind blown
It's amazing how well Fridge cold custard apples go with an aching heart.
:/
Life, such as it is.
The biscuits in question are out of stock but I shall wait and maybe they will get restocked.
The biscuits in question are out of stock but I shall wait and maybe they will get restocked.
Deafening
TV so loud I can hear my thoughts scream to be heard.
:|
What would you like to eat?
anything you like.
How about pumpkin?
Pumpkin is fine.
Okay, cook pumpkin for dinner tonight.
Alright.
anything you like.
How about pumpkin?
Pumpkin is fine.
Okay, cook pumpkin for dinner tonight.
Alright.
Muah
Darling darling darling you'd say
I'd blush and get wet
I'd blush and get wet
Sighs babe
My afternoon dim
My coffee tepid
My heart heavy
My coffee tepid
My heart heavy
No nap
Who me?
The only denizen awake in this house cuz I'm neither ailing nor jet lagged.
The only denizen awake in this house cuz I'm neither ailing nor jet lagged.
Tinnitus
Last time I checked there was no one hard of hearing residing in this house but apparently they're invisible or else who'd turn the volume of their television up to cinema hall level???
I'm in a room far far away and yet my ears feel like a drilling machine has been set upon their drums.
I'm in a room far far away and yet my ears feel like a drilling machine has been set upon their drums.
Blech
'Let's prepare dinner'
my mother in law five minutes after lunch.
my mother in law five minutes after lunch.
Who dat?
It's not me staring at the door waiting for it to fling open and for you to come striding in. Not me fazing out the endless jejune harangue playing in background reduced now to gibberish. Not me as I part my lips and get scooped in strong arms to get a soul kiss.
Sad joys
The miraculous joining of correct password to wifi followed by a seemingly innocuous eruption of tiny triangle of a tower on the upper right side of the screen suddenly feels so overwhelming I could cry.
Thursday, 24 October 2019
Wednesday, 23 October 2019
Nsfw
If someone did ever hack my eyes they'd be scandalised at they stuff they'd get to see.
Dry places
I hear the sucking sound of my skin as it drinks all the occlusives I've besmeared on my body.
Bleh
Each virginity guarded by generations of guardians waiting for the most suitable trespasser.
Slurps
Who me?
Looking to hate you in sizzling moulds of desire.
Looking to hate you in sizzling moulds of desire.
Nightbalm
Nighttime and the bed is a shrine.
Get off you filthy charging wires, into the hole you go little pot of lip balm and you too my skin cream.
This is my kingdom and I am its emperor.
You shall stay phone and you too iPad but the rest of you..wait, yes what is it?
Oh alright you can stay here too bottle of water.
But everything else is gone .
Shoo!!
Get off you filthy charging wires, into the hole you go little pot of lip balm and you too my skin cream.
This is my kingdom and I am its emperor.
You shall stay phone and you too iPad but the rest of you..wait, yes what is it?
Oh alright you can stay here too bottle of water.
But everything else is gone .
Shoo!!
Tuesday, 22 October 2019
Friday, 18 October 2019
Rap song
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Gimme more
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Gimme more
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Gimme more
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Gimme more
Content content
Content content
Content content
Content content
Thursday, 17 October 2019
Skin I’m in
I need emollients
I need occlusives
I'm driest of the dry
And wet as a rainforest
I need occlusives
I'm driest of the dry
And wet as a rainforest
Wednesday, 16 October 2019
I I I
Watching an ad for versa2 and godammit I won't ever want to talk to my watch.
Wtf!
Wtf!
Monday, 14 October 2019
<>
I do absolutely adore the new 13.1.2 iOS update that I'd been neglecting for so long.
Saturday, 12 October 2019
Gnah
This afternoon
I traverse the skies
looking for a moon
I traverse the skies
looking for a moon
Tuesday, 8 October 2019
~<~
If only Ayurveda could cure my genes cuz damn it skin problems!!!
Some truths
I hate that movies only ever portray drug dens as utterly disgusting filthy little holes with scabbed leprosy kissed people when in fact they can also be sun drenched, the kind that is infused with copper hued glaze filtering sweetly through a primrose fabric laying sepia over clean floors in a room tainted with the fading scent of cherry blossoms and mild floating redolence of osmanthum radiating among beautiful people listening to music.
*^*
Who me?
Listening to Atomonaut inner space volume one while flying high on my bed.
Listening to Atomonaut inner space volume one while flying high on my bed.
Monday, 7 October 2019
Sunday, 6 October 2019
Gasp knowledge
I'm so fucking done with wires for this one life .
Literally yank at gadgets to find a slight pull followed by a devastating crash pouring out of a switch rolling the extension chord into another dimension.
Everything on the floor, tugging an empty water bottle in hot pursuit.
Crash bam thud.
A bundle of screams and curses sunk traceless tethered to an anchor, I sip on water and tediously collect the splatter of a galaxy on my floor.
Literally yank at gadgets to find a slight pull followed by a devastating crash pouring out of a switch rolling the extension chord into another dimension.
Everything on the floor, tugging an empty water bottle in hot pursuit.
Crash bam thud.
A bundle of screams and curses sunk traceless tethered to an anchor, I sip on water and tediously collect the splatter of a galaxy on my floor.
Thursday, 3 October 2019
Wednesday, 2 October 2019
Low blow
Imma live blog my consternation and kill everyone's buzz the way mine sits dying a slow death.
Misses
That time of noon
which is nothing like that time, that noon.
which is nothing like that time, that noon.
Tuesday, 1 October 2019
Watching now
Gods must be Crazy 2, my all time ultimate favourite movie.
Exaggerate
Why did they even make X-Men Apocalypse because it's hardly even a light tremor!
?
Why do we have to attend Gandhi Ji's birthday in such utter sadness, with no alcohol and bad television.
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