I might have made a huge mistake.
But it's cake and it's a toblerone cake and I caved and I know I won't eat it as much as I think I will but I had to buy it.
Friday, 30 September 2022
Thursday, 29 September 2022
Weep
Somehow, through my very heavy defences of anti mosquito gadgets placed all around my house, a mosquito has managed to enter my casa and it has mutilated my foot under the table.
Why do they call it a mosquito bite when it's clearly a suck?
Why do they call it a mosquito bite when it's clearly a suck?
Done and done
Here it is. A coleslaw salad with some salmon and a hummus sandwich made with homemade hummus and olive focaccia also made at home!!
Yeah this was a labour intensive lunch.
Also there was a long glass of freshly squeezed cold pressed pear and orange juice.
And now I'm exhausted .
Blues and pretty abyss
Morning and I get mailers from travel sites and updates from friends about their travels and where they will be holidaying, since a lot of tropical spots are in season.
I feel awful about everything. About not vacationing and not even feeling like it, about not knowing where the fuck my life is taking me, about hosting myself a pity party every couple days.
With the upcoming national holidays here in China that last up to a week I don't remember ever staying home but that has since changed.
Traveling in this environment at this time in this country is most dangerous because one never knows which tourist spot, which city, which province might simply shut down if there is as much as one covid positive case and I don't want to stay shut down, not anymore!
This holiday, I'm going to have to stay put, stay shut at home! Spend time with my cats, restrict movement because the dynamic covid policy is still very much in effect and people are going to travel manically in this holiday season. We all know where that leads us.
I'm going to buy groceries in bulk, cat food and litter and stay home.
I feel awful about everything. About not vacationing and not even feeling like it, about not knowing where the fuck my life is taking me, about hosting myself a pity party every couple days.
With the upcoming national holidays here in China that last up to a week I don't remember ever staying home but that has since changed.
Traveling in this environment at this time in this country is most dangerous because one never knows which tourist spot, which city, which province might simply shut down if there is as much as one covid positive case and I don't want to stay shut down, not anymore!
This holiday, I'm going to have to stay put, stay shut at home! Spend time with my cats, restrict movement because the dynamic covid policy is still very much in effect and people are going to travel manically in this holiday season. We all know where that leads us.
I'm going to buy groceries in bulk, cat food and litter and stay home.
Wednesday, 28 September 2022
Decisions
Who me?
In the mood for eating or rather baking and eating chocolate chip cookies 🍪 which I know with my present wrist is most detrimental :/
I am not happy that I can't..or should I?
All the stirring.. and my recipe doesn't need any electrical implement except a wooden spoon and maybe a bit of kneading by hand.
Hmm.
To make or not to make.
How about I make it tomorrow?
Or today?
In the mood for eating or rather baking and eating chocolate chip cookies 🍪 which I know with my present wrist is most detrimental :/
I am not happy that I can't..or should I?
All the stirring.. and my recipe doesn't need any electrical implement except a wooden spoon and maybe a bit of kneading by hand.
Hmm.
To make or not to make.
How about I make it tomorrow?
Or today?
Lunch specials
Lunch is seafood omelette and a side of salad because why not?
I didn't think adding shrimps into eggs and made into an omelette would be so good.
Also I followed a Jacque Pepin recipe for the omelette!!
Lame as it is
Say one thing about changing weather say it's the best season. Neither too hot nor too cold. Savour the moment before things get worse she says while staying undecided whether it's socks weather as yet!
My wrist is still bandaged still hurting and still not getting the rest it needs.
I mean I ask you how does one give their wrist a rest when I can take off the support bandage any time I want and need.
Should get a plaster instead.
My wrist is still bandaged still hurting and still not getting the rest it needs.
I mean I ask you how does one give their wrist a rest when I can take off the support bandage any time I want and need.
Should get a plaster instead.
Tuesday, 27 September 2022
Night double
Today was done to death and I am in bed feeling fresher than a newly opened daisy and I wonder what's wrong?!
At least my wrist still hurts.
I mean I could go out and party right now.
I need to wind down, like my health app tells me but I absolutely don't feel tired whatsoever!
On the last leg of 'jack Reacher' and I want to lick another book soon.
—/
Tell me nice things.
Feels like forever
At least my wrist still hurts.
I mean I could go out and party right now.
I need to wind down, like my health app tells me but I absolutely don't feel tired whatsoever!
On the last leg of 'jack Reacher' and I want to lick another book soon.
—/
Tell me nice things.
Feels like forever
Futility and long post
Do you have those days when you're feeling a bit unwell but not enough to hold you back and this feeling of not doing too well has sort of put you behind on the list of daily tasks and so you feel like overcompensating by going out of your way?
Well, I have such days and I have not being doing well and no I'm not sick!
But my right hand wrist is kind of not having it .
And no it's not a sports injury from working out and over exercising which I might be guilty of sometimes.
It's this strange hurt bang in the middle of my wrist that has been making itself felt, which got aggravated while I was trying to slide a door yesterday and it got mental!
I mean it's exactly in the ball of the right wrist which is sending shockwaves of acute pain all around my arm and it almost feels like a vengeful burning sensation under my skin.
This is an issue that has flared up after more than two decades.
I was a child when I complained to my parents incessantly about my wrist and upon closer examination they noticed something strange, which was that the ball of the wrist was slightly enlarged.
I was taken to a family friend who was a doctor and within a week he had performed a minor surgery on the wrist in his house which involved shoving a syringe right inside the affected area and doing some stuff to it.
The pain was excruciating not when the injection, the size of a small country went inside my wrist but the following days after when my entire arm complained about the torture while recovering.
Ever since that day my right wrist keeps letting me know about its past but not in a way that causes me grief. It's always been a light tap on the shoulder, but yesterday out of the blue it shoved me into a volcano.
I kept ignoring it all evening because how random is it to have this issue jump at me after so many years of being dormant but last night as I tried to sleep, my entire right arm felt it was on fire. The strangely sharp pain crept into my heart and threw me out of the bed.
I put a pain relief patch on it and bandaged it and this was around midnight.
I straightened my arm and finally found sleep after writhing in agony for almost 2 hours.
The patch worked and bandaging it to keep it straight also worked but I couldn't wake up the usual time to do my usual chores.
Now I'm up and about, feeling guilty for letting something so ridiculous hold me back from my day.
My arm still hurting and the pain riding my hand in waves but not as bad as last night, but I know full well that it will get worse if I don't immediately put it back in a bandage and keep it straight.
But I have commitments to fulfil and things to do and photos to click and mails to write and I feel like I need to fix everything and finish everything and in fact do a lot more in advance!
So yes I'm overdoing it right now .
I might regret it later
Well, I have such days and I have not being doing well and no I'm not sick!
But my right hand wrist is kind of not having it .
And no it's not a sports injury from working out and over exercising which I might be guilty of sometimes.
It's this strange hurt bang in the middle of my wrist that has been making itself felt, which got aggravated while I was trying to slide a door yesterday and it got mental!
I mean it's exactly in the ball of the right wrist which is sending shockwaves of acute pain all around my arm and it almost feels like a vengeful burning sensation under my skin.
This is an issue that has flared up after more than two decades.
I was a child when I complained to my parents incessantly about my wrist and upon closer examination they noticed something strange, which was that the ball of the wrist was slightly enlarged.
I was taken to a family friend who was a doctor and within a week he had performed a minor surgery on the wrist in his house which involved shoving a syringe right inside the affected area and doing some stuff to it.
The pain was excruciating not when the injection, the size of a small country went inside my wrist but the following days after when my entire arm complained about the torture while recovering.
Ever since that day my right wrist keeps letting me know about its past but not in a way that causes me grief. It's always been a light tap on the shoulder, but yesterday out of the blue it shoved me into a volcano.
I kept ignoring it all evening because how random is it to have this issue jump at me after so many years of being dormant but last night as I tried to sleep, my entire right arm felt it was on fire. The strangely sharp pain crept into my heart and threw me out of the bed.
I put a pain relief patch on it and bandaged it and this was around midnight.
I straightened my arm and finally found sleep after writhing in agony for almost 2 hours.
The patch worked and bandaging it to keep it straight also worked but I couldn't wake up the usual time to do my usual chores.
Now I'm up and about, feeling guilty for letting something so ridiculous hold me back from my day.
My arm still hurting and the pain riding my hand in waves but not as bad as last night, but I know full well that it will get worse if I don't immediately put it back in a bandage and keep it straight.
But I have commitments to fulfil and things to do and photos to click and mails to write and I feel like I need to fix everything and finish everything and in fact do a lot more in advance!
So yes I'm overdoing it right now .
I might regret it later
Monday, 26 September 2022
Let’s nap a bit
My darling hope had set the mood for the day. 
It's Monday she says.
Who works on a Monday?
Arghh
I am sitting with the MOST indecisive person for lunch!
I had already decided what I wanted to eat 15 minutes ago while she still peruses the menu and finds only small side dishes to eat because she isn't 'sure' and because she hasn't ever eaten at this restaurant before and so she feels uncomfortable to commit to a full lunch and
This has me a bit bothered.
This person who is a most exceedingly helpful person is also paranoid to the gills and has in her over 3 decades in Shanghai eaten at only a handful of restaurants and only ever eats there is a statement that doesn't surprise me.
Come on man. I'm hungry.
I had already decided what I wanted to eat 15 minutes ago while she still peruses the menu and finds only small side dishes to eat because she isn't 'sure' and because she hasn't ever eaten at this restaurant before and so she feels uncomfortable to commit to a full lunch and
This has me a bit bothered.
This person who is a most exceedingly helpful person is also paranoid to the gills and has in her over 3 decades in Shanghai eaten at only a handful of restaurants and only ever eats there is a statement that doesn't surprise me.
Come on man. I'm hungry.
Sunday, 25 September 2022
Saturday, 24 September 2022
The bigger picture
This universe has a way of finding you even if it doesn't give a rat's ass fuck about the existence of its dying denizens.
You're a part of a much bigger conspiracy even if you don't know it yet.
The wheels of this microcosm come together in motion and click at a point affecting you in a way you don't even realise!!
The incessant rains that you've been experiencing are caused by interactions between three different weather systems exaggerated further by La Niña phenomenon and a warming Arctic region.
The retreating monsoon winds, a low pressure area over northwest Madhya Pradesh and a western disturbance are acting together over northwest India to bring the torrential rains or so says the Met department!!
It might continue for a while more!
You see darling, the flood isn't incidental but rather an environmental conspiracy to drown you.
You're a part of a much bigger conspiracy even if you don't know it yet.
The wheels of this microcosm come together in motion and click at a point affecting you in a way you don't even realise!!
The incessant rains that you've been experiencing are caused by interactions between three different weather systems exaggerated further by La Niña phenomenon and a warming Arctic region.
The retreating monsoon winds, a low pressure area over northwest Madhya Pradesh and a western disturbance are acting together over northwest India to bring the torrential rains or so says the Met department!!
It might continue for a while more!
You see darling, the flood isn't incidental but rather an environmental conspiracy to drown you.
It happens sometimes
I woke up
Saw the time
It was 6:30
Went back to bed
Woke up again
When the unholy cramp
Of existential crisis
Kicked my stomach
Saw the time
It was 8:30
Panicked
Ran out of bed
And saw the world was alright
Nothing had changed
The house still intact
The cats lounging
No fire
No earthquakes
No emergency
Made tea
Sighed
Sipped
Saw the time
It was 6:30
Went back to bed
Woke up again
When the unholy cramp
Of existential crisis
Kicked my stomach
Saw the time
It was 8:30
Panicked
Ran out of bed
And saw the world was alright
Nothing had changed
The house still intact
The cats lounging
No fire
No earthquakes
No emergency
Made tea
Sighed
Sipped
Saturday mornings
My orange cat 'sheru' has the aura of a lion and insists on going out when I send other cats namely Gogi, Meera and twinkle outside to play.
Usually I don't let sheru out because of his tendency to pick fights with other outside cats that aren't his brothers but today I let him go knowing full well this orange lion's real tendencies that are of a house cat.
He walked out, brazen as a mighty king out to survey his prosperous kingdom, but five minutes later he stood outside the doorstep with a big 'nope' writ across his face as he first silently glared and later imploringly meowed for me to open the door.
'Well'? I asked him.
And he nudged his face towards the door to sheepishly request once again to let him in.
I opened the door, he brushed himself on my legs and ran inside the house.
That concluded his eight minute foray into the world for the rest of this week. His grandiose adventures as the orange fluff about town hunting and sharpening his ancestral skills as a silent animal of prey, a destructive entity of claws and merciless angel of death upon little creatures of flight was cut short by his need to curl and sleep on his bed.
Usually I don't let sheru out because of his tendency to pick fights with other outside cats that aren't his brothers but today I let him go knowing full well this orange lion's real tendencies that are of a house cat.
He walked out, brazen as a mighty king out to survey his prosperous kingdom, but five minutes later he stood outside the doorstep with a big 'nope' writ across his face as he first silently glared and later imploringly meowed for me to open the door.
'Well'? I asked him.
And he nudged his face towards the door to sheepishly request once again to let him in.
I opened the door, he brushed himself on my legs and ran inside the house.
That concluded his eight minute foray into the world for the rest of this week. His grandiose adventures as the orange fluff about town hunting and sharpening his ancestral skills as a silent animal of prey, a destructive entity of claws and merciless angel of death upon little creatures of flight was cut short by his need to curl and sleep on his bed.
Friday, 23 September 2022
Listens
Listening to 'sharp ends' and at the part which feels like it kick started the events of the first law series.
All the stories in the book are so delicious and there are characters which didn't feature in any other books.
I wonder if they will pop up sometime later in some other books of his?
All the stories in the book are so delicious and there are characters which didn't feature in any other books.
I wonder if they will pop up sometime later in some other books of his?
Doing it right
I have a few spontaneous friends but I'm closest to those who plan out days of meetings much in advance with the time and place and how to reach there in much detail.
Gotta love my orderly bitches.
Gotta love my orderly bitches.
About it
Lunch was a döner kebab style sandwich. Not exactly but nearly there.
—
Went to the local coffee shop/bakery to get a coffee and got some complementary breads because I bought my own carry on mug for the coffee and this is apparently their way of rewarding it(?). Not sure but yeah got coffee and a couple free sweet breads.
Thursday, 22 September 2022
Heretic
'People' do not like my khichri! Only because it's how khichri is supposed to be. Not dry like pulao but with a wave. Lightly starchy, mellow and without anything fancy. I add nothing besides tomatoes and peas and a few spices that are most pertinent but that's about it!
Peoples khichri on the other hand is dry with the quality of steamed rice and has garlic, onions and what not!
I mean that's not khichri!!
And to top it all they make it in a rice cooker!! Dude, that's totes wrong. It should only ever be made in revalue pressure cooker!
Damn it!
Peoples khichri on the other hand is dry with the quality of steamed rice and has garlic, onions and what not!
I mean that's not khichri!!
And to top it all they make it in a rice cooker!! Dude, that's totes wrong. It should only ever be made in revalue pressure cooker!
Damn it!
Wednesday, 21 September 2022
Nope
Ugh!!!
I'm not going to do anything today that requires me to shift my body from point a to point B.
I shall not lift a muscle except when it's to twitch or fold over in pain from cramps.
I shall not even blink unless it's absolutely necessary.
If you need me I'll be here in the corner trying to decay in silence.
I'm not going to do anything today that requires me to shift my body from point a to point B.
I shall not lift a muscle except when it's to twitch or fold over in pain from cramps.
I shall not even blink unless it's absolutely necessary.
If you need me I'll be here in the corner trying to decay in silence.
Yawn another day
So the expat community after the recent remarks of Chinese healthcare advisor chief has come out with these t shirts!!
It's funny you know .
So what did China's Fauci actually say?
Well, he said that to prevent monkey pox the Chinese citizens should avoid direct skin to skin contact with 'foreigners' and this has got all the foreigners up in arms about this whole thing, so much so that they've got t shirts out!
Everything is getting progressively weak!
Tuesday, 20 September 2022
Ughs
The problems with Tuesday's are that they come hurtling towards you like a big truck to knock you off balance but are in fact a jagged knife that doesn't as much slice as saw you painfully into crumbing pieces of gore, before you finally break down into two, because there's nothing else you can do.
I hate it today.
My heart isn't in anything.
I hate it today.
My heart isn't in anything.
Monday, 19 September 2022
»
What am I if not totally exhausted and done with the day but then isn't that my story every day?
Why do I feel like drinking tea?
Why do I feel like drinking tea?
audiobook sads
I am sleepy
also quite angry
because the audiobookbay site is nowhere to be found not even its mirror site
I have since checked out may others and none seems to be as good as the audiobookbay one and I am angry, not least because I need several audiobooks to be in queue but also because I feel at a loss.
I am going to be editing a whole lot of pictures today and :(
Lunch then
Lunch was a salad as usual topped with a few pieces of leftover fried chicken that I had craved on the weekend. 
There's no way you can make something junk healthy but at least I can pair it with with something nutritious.
Also a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice with pulp and all and let me tell you if it looks sour then that's cuz it was.
Sunday, 18 September 2022
Sunday happened
I got electrocuted
No seriously!
I was getting a message and my masseuse has this weird new implement that she shoved under my butt, seriously! I mean she strips me down to my underwear and goes ballistic all over me.
Right, so she shoved these weird electric bars under my butt and switched on a machine that sent very mild electric currents under my ass, much like a physiotherapy machine, but then she put some lotion on her hands and everywhere she touched me on my body, the electric currents would shoot out of from her palms, her fingertips, and everywhere she applied pressure I could feel the vibrations!!
It was nuts.
Sometimes I would twitch like a dead body on a demented transformer and she would pause and resume again.
Ouch, what was that??
Sometimes I'd involuntary go into a sort of paralysed state for a mere second before my nerves settled down and I mean I could almost feel the pain moving around me.
She kept nodding and getting disappointed and applying pressure and pushing milliamperes of electric current through me via her hands!! I mean what even.
She told me how bad my neck was and how many knots I'd had all over my back and around my spine.
That I feel totally limber and actually find the little pools of tension and stiffness melt away would be a statement most accurate!
Also, I'm slick and shiny and oily and I've been told not to shower or wash my face for the next 4 hours at least!!Whoah!!
No seriously!
I was getting a message and my masseuse has this weird new implement that she shoved under my butt, seriously! I mean she strips me down to my underwear and goes ballistic all over me.
Right, so she shoved these weird electric bars under my butt and switched on a machine that sent very mild electric currents under my ass, much like a physiotherapy machine, but then she put some lotion on her hands and everywhere she touched me on my body, the electric currents would shoot out of from her palms, her fingertips, and everywhere she applied pressure I could feel the vibrations!!
It was nuts.
Sometimes I would twitch like a dead body on a demented transformer and she would pause and resume again.
Ouch, what was that??
Sometimes I'd involuntary go into a sort of paralysed state for a mere second before my nerves settled down and I mean I could almost feel the pain moving around me.
She kept nodding and getting disappointed and applying pressure and pushing milliamperes of electric current through me via her hands!! I mean what even.
She told me how bad my neck was and how many knots I'd had all over my back and around my spine.
That I feel totally limber and actually find the little pools of tension and stiffness melt away would be a statement most accurate!
Also, I'm slick and shiny and oily and I've been told not to shower or wash my face for the next 4 hours at least!!Whoah!!
Saturday, 17 September 2022
Friday, 16 September 2022
What even
Today has been extraordinarily hectic, but was it this hectic? Why am I not tired? Could it be cuz I'm hopped up on two mugs of coffee that I finished while clicking pictures? 
Granted one mug was a prop but I didn't want to throw away that coffee, it was made with such great care by moi.
Quick quick fast
Who me? 
Busy!
Trying to win a race against time.
The sun will set in a couple Hours. The cake is still on the last legs of getting baked and then it has to cook done a bit and then I have to click pics.
Can we make it?
I am on edge.
Also made two cakes. One for hole consumption and the second to give to my dear friend whose father has finally arrived in China after about 10 months.
And it’s the weekend
I spent the entire day thinking it's 'Thursday' today!!
What even dude!
—
I do not understand the thought behind going to a grocery store and buying 1 apple, 1 pepper 🫑 and nothing else.
What is this about? Why is it even? Like what purpose does single unit fruit and veg serve?
I wish I could just go and ask them.
I have wondered about it many a times and given it much thought.
Maybe it's for a very specific recipe .
Or maybe they're giving apple and pepper a shot at eating cuz they've been allergic to it all their life or maybe they have OCD and these items were in odd numbers and they couldn't stand to see it or maybe they're making a salad and a sandwich and they use these specific items only for that one purpose.
I might have to go on Reddit for this.
Speaking of Reddit it's gotten too woke for my mood.
What even dude!
—
I do not understand the thought behind going to a grocery store and buying 1 apple, 1 pepper 🫑 and nothing else.
What is this about? Why is it even? Like what purpose does single unit fruit and veg serve?
I wish I could just go and ask them.
I have wondered about it many a times and given it much thought.
Maybe it's for a very specific recipe .
Or maybe they're giving apple and pepper a shot at eating cuz they've been allergic to it all their life or maybe they have OCD and these items were in odd numbers and they couldn't stand to see it or maybe they're making a salad and a sandwich and they use these specific items only for that one purpose.
I might have to go on Reddit for this.
Speaking of Reddit it's gotten too woke for my mood.
Thursday, 15 September 2022
Wednesday, 14 September 2022
The follies we commit
How the fuck did this happen??
So I'm typing a recipe and I flip the page of my diary to check the ingredients for typing and literally I've only written the name of the recipe and underneath is how I'm going to pair it with for the pics and that's it!!
How can I be this dense?
Like why didn't I write the ingredients for it??
Now am I just supposed to conjure them up from my memory and jot it down?
What???
Ugh! Arghh!
So I'm typing a recipe and I flip the page of my diary to check the ingredients for typing and literally I've only written the name of the recipe and underneath is how I'm going to pair it with for the pics and that's it!!
How can I be this dense?
Like why didn't I write the ingredients for it??
Now am I just supposed to conjure them up from my memory and jot it down?
What???
Ugh! Arghh!
Lunch yes
Lunch was a dosa cheela hybrid with a bowl of sambhar and coconut chutney along with a glass of beet root and carrot juice.
It was all quite splendid!
:/
I am on most days
Unable to find
A spark
Of joy
To keep me
Abreast of this sinking ship
That is my life
Which feels like
It broken its anchor
And found a seaweed
To help keep it
From wrecking
Unable to find
A spark
Of joy
To keep me
Abreast of this sinking ship
That is my life
Which feels like
It broken its anchor
And found a seaweed
To help keep it
From wrecking
Tuesday, 13 September 2022
So done
That I'm exhausted with today would be an understatement most severe!
I mean all I had to do was everything!
Sambar rice for dinner cuz I need something comforting.
I mean all I had to do was everything!
Sambar rice for dinner cuz I need something comforting.
Lunched
You know I'm gonna be chewing this for an hour.
Here is a big heap of salad with a few dumplings in the side and a large glass of blended up fruits!
Workings
Today is power pilates and I am taking a while to get back to my fitness level from March! I am in fact struggling.
Slowly I will get there. Just that it's taking a while.
Need a change of strategy.
Slowly I will get there. Just that it's taking a while.
Need a change of strategy.
Monday, 12 September 2022
Stuff happens
Today has been strange. Everything got done too early. It was a holiday for the moon festival and there was a lot of strolling around in light rain and coffee and other such.
On the way back a man and his child met with a scooter accident from skidding on the wet walk path (some people ride their scooters on the walk path) to avoid traffic and owing to the rains and tiny scooter wheels they skidded and there was a blood curdling screech from the scooter.
To run to rescue and get astonished at the massive amounts of blood leaking from a man and his child were something i could not dwell on while I pulled those people from the wreckage that was their scooter and it's only now that I'm home that I realise my shirt is stained with blood splotches.
The poor child of barely 5 was screaming and the man was shaking and his arm was utterly scratched and maybe broken and the damn place was deserted while people tried to steady the scooter I tried to wipe the little fountains of blood bursting from different places on the man and child!
I am never leaving my house without a helmet!
Somehow we managed to call his wife etc etc.
phew!
What a Monday!
On the way back a man and his child met with a scooter accident from skidding on the wet walk path (some people ride their scooters on the walk path) to avoid traffic and owing to the rains and tiny scooter wheels they skidded and there was a blood curdling screech from the scooter.
To run to rescue and get astonished at the massive amounts of blood leaking from a man and his child were something i could not dwell on while I pulled those people from the wreckage that was their scooter and it's only now that I'm home that I realise my shirt is stained with blood splotches.
The poor child of barely 5 was screaming and the man was shaking and his arm was utterly scratched and maybe broken and the damn place was deserted while people tried to steady the scooter I tried to wipe the little fountains of blood bursting from different places on the man and child!
I am never leaving my house without a helmet!
Somehow we managed to call his wife etc etc.
phew!
What a Monday!
Sunday, 11 September 2022
Saturday, 10 September 2022
Sadurday
By the dead I'm feeling hot!!
Ugh!
The weather felt like it's changed but right now I'm sweating in my bedroom with just the fan!
I need cold frigid air to freeze me .
I can't take this humid whatever the fuck this weather is.
Also mid autumn festival!
Moon Cakes and festive moods, dampened by the looming danger of covid spreading in this season what with people moving about and a long weekend at that!
Ugh!
Ugh!
The weather felt like it's changed but right now I'm sweating in my bedroom with just the fan!
I need cold frigid air to freeze me .
I can't take this humid whatever the fuck this weather is.
Also mid autumn festival!
Moon Cakes and festive moods, dampened by the looming danger of covid spreading in this season what with people moving about and a long weekend at that!
Ugh!
All I did
I Took a massive project today that was to wash the living room carpet and phew!
It took me all of 3 hours and I'm exhausted.
The damn thing weighted over a 100 kilo since it got wet!
Argh!!!
But okay, now it's drying.
It took me all of 3 hours and I'm exhausted.
The damn thing weighted over a 100 kilo since it got wet!
Argh!!!
But okay, now it's drying.
Friday, 9 September 2022
No t no shade
Today is just not my day to make the perfect 'tea'. I am currently drinking another cup of tea and I'm horrified that this too has turned out less than mediocre.
I'm not happy about that.
I'm not happy about that.
Usuals
So the new season of the Icelandic series 'trapped' is out and it's called 'entrapped' and what am I if not thoroughly intrigued and definitively watching it.
Fri
I woke up far too early today because anxiety!
How can it be that I open my eyes and start feeling anxious from the moment I wake up?
This is ridiculous and a serious shortcoming on my part which I don't know how to deal with currently!
Listening to some lofi, drinking second cup of tea, looking at my gorgeously sparkling home which I cleaned up quite early because I woke up a few moments before the clock hit 6.
I need to start doing things that bring me comfort.
Friday means pizza, and perhaps tomorrow I will go to the nearest izakaya and check that place out.
I've to start doing things that I used to do.
My brain feels like an egg scramble.
How can it be that I open my eyes and start feeling anxious from the moment I wake up?
This is ridiculous and a serious shortcoming on my part which I don't know how to deal with currently!
Listening to some lofi, drinking second cup of tea, looking at my gorgeously sparkling home which I cleaned up quite early because I woke up a few moments before the clock hit 6.
I need to start doing things that bring me comfort.
Friday means pizza, and perhaps tomorrow I will go to the nearest izakaya and check that place out.
I've to start doing things that I used to do.
My brain feels like an egg scramble.
Thursday, 8 September 2022
Lost and found
Now feeling like Alice fallen in some dungeon, groping her way around and thankful for the Cheshire Cat always hanging around. 
Wednesday, 7 September 2022
my questions that time will answer
Something about today compelled me to think about 'Caine' and remember what an extraordinary man (human) he was. While going trough that thought I was also reminded that 'acts of Caine' were perhaps the most extraordinary pieces of writing I'd encountered. I am still trying to and not quite able to accept the many layers those books embraced. calling them 'portal fantasy' is like calling the sun 'a ball of fire', accurate but hardly.
So, Caine, the man who endured and fought and loved and stayed rational. There's something to be learnt from him and I am trying to still my mind and heart and trying to rationalize and accept my situation while wanting the best out of it.
I want a lot more and that cannot happen without being too greedy and overly ambitious, two character traits that I fear are a massive part of my being. I never much thought about how life could drastically change and what all I would be willing to sacrifice to help someone who would need nothing but support and help from me; I lie to myself saying that I am supportive but too afraid to admit that I am utterly unwilling to sacrifice anything from my end.
I FEEL ANGRY AND HURT THAT THINGS ARE BEING TAKEN FROM ME.
I am not a silly child who doesn't understand what's going on. I have complete grasp of the situation but I am unwilling to hear it out. This is most immature and even disturbing and I don't want to feel this way.
To be a person who is rife with an open mind and not tangled with the materials of life is someone I am not. how canI find that path? how do I keep myself from feeling bitter? I am not owed happiness by anyone other than me and here I am trying to make myself miserable by blaming others. Is it all because I think of nothing more other than me in this situation? but then how do I not do that considering this is my life to live?
I have to learn how to make peace. But how? seeing how it's my trait of not being able to make peace that has got me to this point?
What's wrong with me?
Coming back to Caine and how he fought everything for someone that had stopped belonging to him and made peace with the reality of his situation and fought on regardless.
How can I become the selfless person I was never meant to be?
eye lit
I am annoyingly sleepy but not in a way that I will drop dead on a bed. It's more like my eyes are tired and my brain feels like it needs rest but my body isn't in cahoots with it.
I can't physically nap. It just doesn't happen to me, but the way I feel right now, it's like maybe if I straighten my spine, I will feel better.
Not sure though.
I've been waking up a lot early these days, despite not bing a morning person at all and maybe that's why I feel so?
Grazing
Well look who's here eating salad as usual!!
It's a large bowl and takes a while to finish because there's so much of it and you've got to keep eating and eating and eat some more. An entire 28 minute episode worth of chewing.
Ugh
Monkey pox has reach HK!!
So?
It's not like it's going to spread like covid.
Why aren't more people taking about how this is an STD and spreading mostly amongst sexually active gay men?
Also there was a case in US of a child and dog getting it who were living with gay parents!
I'm hoping and guessing that kid and dog was taken in protective custody cuz those people were harming their child and pet in more ways than one!
You know what I'm saying.
So?
It's not like it's going to spread like covid.
Why aren't more people taking about how this is an STD and spreading mostly amongst sexually active gay men?
Also there was a case in US of a child and dog getting it who were living with gay parents!
I'm hoping and guessing that kid and dog was taken in protective custody cuz those people were harming their child and pet in more ways than one!
You know what I'm saying.
Tuesday, 6 September 2022
No show
So I can't find jujutsu kasien in this region. Will try connecting through other locations to find it.
However I have found an anime that I think I'm gonna enjoy cuz it's already so fun. it's called 'Sirius the jaeger'
However I have found an anime that I think I'm gonna enjoy cuz it's already so fun. it's called 'Sirius the jaeger'
Monday, 5 September 2022
And weekdays
Do you sometimes wonder why the fuck are you even living in this shitty world and sharing oxygen with those who deserve to have been aborted the moment their hearts started beating?
-
Monday and I started off with a depressed mood.
It came out of nowhere! I mean know where it came from, this entire disruption I'm dealing with and the uncertainty of life is only so much I can take.
I'm trying to get by each day one at a time but sometimes things tend to get piled.
it's been raining steadily for two days now.
Where yesterday the humidity and steam had gotten to a point where my hair were like strands of wet threads, today has gotten much cooler thanks to the continuous rain for over 48 hours and no sun.
Brings to mind the weather from where my parents live during monsoons.
Of course this extremely wet weather has also contributed to sticky and constant damp floors.
I am of a mind to clean the house today since the housekeeper didn't come on Saturday and I wonder why exactly have I even hired her in the first place?
I'm setting up the study as well today and I'm gonna get back to things as they were (sorta)
I need cheering up!
Maybe a shiny house will do the trick.
-
Monday and I started off with a depressed mood.
It came out of nowhere! I mean know where it came from, this entire disruption I'm dealing with and the uncertainty of life is only so much I can take.
I'm trying to get by each day one at a time but sometimes things tend to get piled.
it's been raining steadily for two days now.
Where yesterday the humidity and steam had gotten to a point where my hair were like strands of wet threads, today has gotten much cooler thanks to the continuous rain for over 48 hours and no sun.
Brings to mind the weather from where my parents live during monsoons.
Of course this extremely wet weather has also contributed to sticky and constant damp floors.
I am of a mind to clean the house today since the housekeeper didn't come on Saturday and I wonder why exactly have I even hired her in the first place?
I'm setting up the study as well today and I'm gonna get back to things as they were (sorta)
I need cheering up!
Maybe a shiny house will do the trick.
Sunday, 4 September 2022
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