What I feared

Seppuku
Is what I should commit because I was dumb enough to not lock the back door after cleaning the garden and somehow some cat managed to push and open it because the damn door knob isn't very effective and now I have three cats (Gogi, Meera and Twinkle) missing.
Twinkle isn't as much missing as not wanting to come back since I have seen him around the house but Gogi and Meera are MIA.

I sound like it's funny to me but in fact I've been looking for them since 5 in the morning and crying my eyes out searching for them.
I didn't find them and they refuse to been and aren't responding to my calls either.
Normally I wouldn't have much worried but this is a completely new place and they've been here barely 48 hours and decided escaping is the best way out.
I mean I know they were traumatised but I knew they'd be fine soon but I was not responsible enough to be able to give them a safe environment.
To think last night as I was drawing the curtains I saw the back door safely shut and didn't think to turn the knob to check and lock it for good .
How could I have been so careless.
Now my stupidity has resulted in my three cats running off and I can't find them.
I'm crying and hurting and wondering if I shouldn't even have moved in the first place.
None of this would have ever happened.

What was I thinking?
I figured once the garden was clean and a little fixed I'd let them out and then what? They'd not have still run away?
Ugh!!!
I don't know what to do .
I've given myself a migraine.
My neighbours have seen me crying and what else could go wrong?
What a fucking Monday.