Flowered

Is someone going to step up and just fucking say it?
That cauliflower rice isn't rice, nor does it taste anything like rice..

What has got everyone going mad nuts over cauliflower rice is beyond me, or actually not. It's keto friendly y'all.
It's like fad inception.
Fadception?

There are dishes, chefs, celebrity cooks, youtubers all coming out with their own cauliflower rice recipes, even cauliflower base pizza, and honestly I've tried them all.

I've tried making them in different ways and tried to like em too, but NO!

Cauliflower is a fabulous vegetable and it's exactly what it looks like. Kinda bland, with a blandness that works for it in a way.
It complements other vegetables really well, tastes fabulous in curries or when roasted. Tastes bleh when turned to a mush, tastes sex level god when made with potatoes in 'aloo gobhi' if prepared just right, but when it's riced and made to mimic a starch and called cauliflower rice and paired with other stews of the world, it does work, yea, tastes good, but nothing like rice.

And it's not that it always come out great, most of the times, if you're not eating it prepared by a seasoned cook who's aware of their way around veggies, it turns out horrible.

Also when it's made into a pizza base.
First thing, gah! It's so bloody fussy. If I had to make this every week, I'd be over pizzas. Cauliflower is the last thing that comes to mind when you think of a pizza base, and the base doesn't even taste all that good unless its flavor is masked with a hundred toppings and spices.

Yes, there might be people out there ready to argue that I what I speak is total rubbish and that cauliflower pizza tastes just like the real deal, to that I say..good for you. It probably tastes just as good as soy milk instead of real milk, and we all know the truth of that. At least I do.

I mean if I didn't have to drink soy milk, I really would only indulge in it as some health food regime, if at all that is.

Coming back to cauliflower.
The humble albino broccoli, that isn't anything like broccoli just as is nothing like rice nor pizza base.

Rant over.