Just wanted to isolate myself into nothingness into loneliness..I think I'd wanted it.
Perhaps, I thought I could mourn everything that was, all that could've been and all that can never be.
Wondering what it'd be like to let go of every little thing I've held dear, disappear stealthily into the dark of day, or the light of night and be gone into a space where I'd be forever unreachable.
To be alone, to be with me to be nowhere and perhaps reboot all that I've known and learnt and been. Perhaps just be something new.
A weird headspace where I wanted to dislike everything and be away from everyone. Where my memories would start fading and maybe never get replaced by new ones.
It's always depressing to come to an empty house with an emptier heart. It's so odd..you crave company and loathe it at the same time. Some paradox this of fickle human heart.
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