Lemme do it

I'm too gorgeous for this lockdown!!

The world needs me in my glam avatar!

I need to slap some foundation, conceal non existent flaws, shellack a thin layer of glowing bronzer to liven up my face, a bit of rouge to pink up my cheeks and a dusting of incandescent highlighter for god like glow .
I need my lids bedecked in colours, blended and perfected to earthy tones of orange and terracotta, a thin strip of feline flick the colour of darkly pregnant clouds to look coquettish enough for the skies to peep through, with a final swath of kissable lipstick in muted tones to liven up the oomph and a sunny gloss to reflect and burn and blaze those who set their eyes upon me..finally a spritz of mist to seal the fabulousness before I go to town on eyelashes with lashings of thick mascara coats, elongating and hefting each lash so voluptuously that each time I bat my eyes a little tornado is birthed.

Yes I need that.

The foods we love

More than going out I miss eating my favourite foods .
Woke up with the intense need to eat some takoyaki and there is absolutely no way I can eat or even improvise to make some. Don't have the ingredients, don't have the moulds and most importantly where on earth am I to find some octopus?
Sure I can make some vegan version in the moulds my mum uses to make a South Indian dish called Appe but seriously? Will it even be the same, moreover would I want to eat it?

Watching the dog lick his balls and his simple acts of grooming make me jealous of being too aware.

And so it is

Say one thing about today, say I woke up to a sleepy stupor.
How does this happen? To wake up after almost 7 hours of deep sleep and want to sleep again because no matter how deep the sleep it wasn't nearly enough.
I'm told that I should go and sleep and only wake up when I want but seeing how this isn't my house and how parents have a tendency to wake up shortly after midnight it just doesn't feel right to sleep long hours not least because it will be the subject of many a table talks and I will be ridiculed for being a lazy bum which by all accounts I'm not, but tell that to my parents who think that not working or doing something that contributes to the household every waking minute qualifies one as a lazy idiot!!

Quarantine day it's about to end and begin again

And the heart feels viscous
dripping akin thick syrup
into my ovaries
tingling them to dissolute needs
telling me of my reprobate deeds
that should ideally make me blush
instead I'm resolute
to get worse

Solid lines

Another dreary afternoon. Temperature is 37°C, my room is an abstract chamber of daily decompression, inhaling my mood it sends out a hug of comfort telling me it's all going to be over one way or another, vaguely obfuscated in places some places lit aglow, I sprawl on the bed, wet hair in tow; listening to moody cosmic desert psychedelia contemplating a cup of hot chocolate or maybe something iced..I cannot decide but perhaps stay away from ice for a while.
I laugh at my fear and hope to not let it get to me anytime soon.

Quarantine day goddamit

And I hate these days but I like them just as they're too
It's a facet I didn't know before
I learn myself better
finding a capacity within
thay I wasn't aware of

Mulling

Nighttime and I begin to dim
under low lights
inside a room
they say is mine
it doesn't belong to me
nor I here
and yet this is how it is for now
it's how it's gonna be
for a while

Winds on roads

Today, and I waver from the usual just a little, seeing how it has been a day when I didn't roll the usual j, took a nap instead and did not read neither watch the usual content I've been consuming.

I've long been trying to understand this routine that I can't seem to shake off my system.
Of course routines are something we all adhere to, our bodies get typecast into following a certain timeline but living the exact same moment in progressions day after day as a reiteration of everyday photostatted perfectly into clones especially at a time when schedules aren't needed, they should perhaps in fact be discouraged seeing how we are dealing with a quarantine I find myself thinking why I'm unable to shake them off of me.

Not like anyone is going to point and hoot for not following a similarly treaded path each day, one that Is now marked with deep depressions from my incessant marathons. Nor am I expected to be a certain way. These are unusual times and nothing of the usual would fit in and yet I can't seem to waver from my trajectory.

Also the exact opposite also comes into effect, in that, why can't I have a routine? These are unusual times and who cares if I trace my path everyday? It's comforting to me and helps the same way a comfort meal works. I stay focused, fortified and strong. It emboldens me and gives me courage to know that even the gravest most unusual situations can't undo me.
And yet there's a part of me that tugs me into another direction urging me to let go and relax.
It's not a decision I should or can make. Or maybe it is.

Quarantine day it's not ending quick enough and I'm trying to find myself harder each day.

Ready or not

Breakfast at night
Lunch in evening
I'd want a life
to be somewhat haphazard
like that
and experience it
but it'll have to be with somebody else
cuz I'm not capable of living like that
I hate it
maybe

Another quarantine day and I can't believe I'm living through it

My mood is so psych stoner right now and I can't decide between laying here sprawled or getting up to get on with life.

What is life in this mood?
My mood so mellow
My pants so green
My shirt so red
My lips so dry