anger rising

 I am

extremely annoyed because the new toilet paper is so damn scratchy that my intimate area will get rashes and to think this was a more deluxe version of the one I usually buy. 

Now why did I not buy the usual because the one time I asked others to buys something they botched it up.

I mean come on!

I am so angry I could have a meltdown.

ºººº

I'm so bored today!
Not something I often say.
I could go out for a walk but it's raining and I feel like breaking things.

murder mood

I haven't written a stitch and it bothers me that I busied myself in obligatory gifts, that were well-meaning no doubt, but as useless and unneeded as appendicitis, and an eyesore no less, and DIY with nuts and screws that took up hours and every second made me want to fling it out the window, for they were supposedly meant to serve some purpose except it was exactly the opposite and now I wish I could dismantle and throw it in a trash can because it's fucking garbage and I hate it.
Makes me want to look up different poisons in a medical book and delicious dishes in a cookbook, and think of ways of joining the two.
This day has turned into sewage that slid down the drainage pipe without me being productive and here I have a hundred things to do and yet this day slithers towards its end and oh there's a dog that needs walking in this torrential rain, food that needs cooking and football that needs watching.
I have issues, I have anger, my annoyance threshold dips down every day, my irritation button grows every place.

I'm pissed

Today I will snarl at everything
no matter how well-meaning or sweet it is, say
because it's precisely things that I don't want nor need
that tend to be dumped my way 

no yes ok maybe why

To say I slept well would be an exaggeration of the grossest kinds because I was acutely aware of the entire night passing by me.
My sleep was like a pothole-ridden road and I did not enjoy it much at all. Needling aches, discomfort and an overall need to do anything other than be in that position. I was cold yet hot and my contradictions didn't end there; waking up with a need to manically laugh while dismembering bodies and then weeping over them only to continue on with the mayhem was exactly how I felt and that is all I could do to keep myself from slashing people in the house who have a habit of hovering over me in the kitchen while I go about fixing lunch and packing it.
Work out was quite out of question and I felt strangely out of place with myself, not knowing how to spend the early hours of the morning when usually I'd be busier than a bee which is why I just sat silently, listening to Ustad Vilayat Khan and pondering over nothing in particular.
Empty..that's how it all felt and I had to literally haul myself for a bath.

The very thought of lunch irks me, even though plenty of delicious leftovers sit serenely for the picking, but I don't find myself in the frame of mind to shovel food in me, which is why a big bowl of one banana, one apple and ten strawberries with soy milk made its ways down the confused oesophagus and it made all the difference in the world. I felt like my cells absorbed every last drop of the manna and something inside of me is screaming for tea, tea and more tea. Non-stop!

I don't feel the energy in my limbs to begin flowing from my fingertips and maybe I'll suffer a hairline fracture if I as much as lift a pen today and goddamit I'm being overdramatic but I tell you I want to pull someone by their collar and scream in their face.