Morning and things are emotional in another tide as more people have poured in and finally today is the last farewell or the return back to earth as it should have happened a day ago.
People are distant as usual and devastated and as much as I understand and wish for things to be better I'm also exhausted being that support who will take every jolt that comes from this incident since I've been taking it for over a year now and I'm worn down.
I've let things be and not extending much from myself except the occasional ear and a bit of tender attention which is usually swatted away despite being needed.
I feel like an outsider in this entire mess.
Strangely enough I've not shed a single tear not hugged and held anyone to cry.
I think I've cried and depressed and killed myself about it for more than a year now and now I just want to be resilient and provide back end support around the house. Which is what I'm doing which is physically draining but at least my mind is now at peace.
Only problem is that I've once again lost me sleep.
I can't find it despite being so exhausted.
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