In a separate zone of never

That I want to be able to do everything and emerge victorious, a person who's changed the matrix of her life and perhaps nudged something about in the universe to create a vortex of awesome is my very dearest wish, would be an understatement. 

Not only am I unable to get the grains of sand in my life to fall in the right direction I seem to have no control over my headaches that stem from a sudden surge of problems in my neck and go on to create havoc at a time when I want to be sitting with my friend, listening to her moan about her husband blocking her on WeChat and ordering drinks so we can be on the same page of drunk.

Yesterday I met my friend for an early evening of late lunch and drinks. I had my lunch of course but she was in the mood for wings and whatnot and so we embarked on a mission to do the needful except my head was throbbing since morning and I kept pushing the thought away because I wanted to have a good time with my friend. 

Wishful thinking is exactly what it sounds like. It's a lie we tell our brains and our brains never buy those lies my head was beginning to fall out by the time we reached the venue.

We ordered drinks and I was able to surreptitiously order the non-alcoholic ones because I was quite sure that I'd need medication and one can't mix alcohol and drugs. 

Thankfully my drinks were made of oolong tea and they looked like a delicious alcoholic concoction, but by the heavens, my heart was nowhere to be found in the vividly chaotic conversation my friend was hell-bent on having. 

I could feel the nerves in my head beginning to pop out of my system and this hurt I went through and lived in and endured for the next 6 hours. I hated that my bag didn't have any medicine and that there was no pharmacy nearby and of course, I didn't mention to the friend in question about my internal slow agonising death. 

Finally, we got done..the evening was loaded with quite a few events about which I will write later as they deserve separate posts of their own and I arrived home to a cooked dinner that I didn't want to eat.

My face, now absolutely haggard and worn down from the immense pain I never thought could be possible on my non-migraine days spoke louder than words.

As I popped in a medicine tea got made and I lay silently on the couch without saying a word for an hour.

The ache had subsided and somehow I made my way to bed and slept, except this morning the ache was back on the left side, my neck and temple and left eye almost beginning to melt out of my skull.

This time I took a heavier medication dose and finally I am pain-free but the heaviness and weariness remain.

I have been working non-stop.

Lots of typing and talking and editing stuff.

Also been applying heat to my neck and now I'm gonna have tea and journal and try to figure out what went wrong. 

Also, yesterday I surfed on the crimson tides and that might have added to the long list of anguish.

Sigh.

I needed to read and tell and also want to read and know.. cuz misses.

Changing the font to feel better.

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