It's been a while since I saw the stars or the moon or even the blinking lights of an aeroplane passing by. It's been a while since I looked up, stared and stared at the sky. Partially because it's too cold to step out at night, maybe because the sky looks dull from all the blazing city lights, or perhaps the clouds are to blame. They stay frozen, in a state of tundra..hiding all that needs to be seen.
When I want to see the sky, I peer out my window and see a stream of unbearable skyline. A glitzy twinkle of neons and lasers, clouds above and fairy light cables, entwined around rooftops, terrace gardens and restaurant tables. My horizon soiled with concrete skyscrapers; I don't know where the clouds disappear and buildings start.
I stare out for five minutes, maybe ten and return into an echoless room to know it's been only two minutes. Start collecting pieces of the day, and stuff into a bottomless sack of emptiness. Plucking out pieces from a jigsaw puzzle, that's hardly a puzzle, just torn out pages mundane, rearranged to look baffling.
So into the bottomless sack I shove in my daily broodings, musings, stories and hobbies. Movies I've watched, youtube videos played, music heard, people stalked, and that's hardly the end of my day. I stuff the sack with more information..about food I ate, things I baked, art I made and some words of hate.
I stuff into this emptiness all the endless ways I've pretended to fend off voids, and make believe tricks to assume, I do not live inside a vacuum. I try to saturate this sack with all the knowledge I process everyday, news, articles and things people say. The wanton sack stays empty, no matter what I put, would it make a difference, if I didn't give it as much as a second look? But how can that be, I've something to prove to me..or perhaps it gives me a reason to be condescending.
My bottomless sack is better than yours..even though they're still empty.
Don't you see, how my ashes will be better, my rust bespeckled with stardust, my bones ivory and my hair a silken cloth.
I can blaze in the knowledge of my emptiness, enlightened with never a real smile. Always aware when I laugh and confused if I've a face or a facade.
When I want to see the sky, I peer out my window and see a stream of unbearable skyline. A glitzy twinkle of neons and lasers, clouds above and fairy light cables, entwined around rooftops, terrace gardens and restaurant tables. My horizon soiled with concrete skyscrapers; I don't know where the clouds disappear and buildings start.
I stare out for five minutes, maybe ten and return into an echoless room to know it's been only two minutes. Start collecting pieces of the day, and stuff into a bottomless sack of emptiness. Plucking out pieces from a jigsaw puzzle, that's hardly a puzzle, just torn out pages mundane, rearranged to look baffling.
So into the bottomless sack I shove in my daily broodings, musings, stories and hobbies. Movies I've watched, youtube videos played, music heard, people stalked, and that's hardly the end of my day. I stuff the sack with more information..about food I ate, things I baked, art I made and some words of hate.
I stuff into this emptiness all the endless ways I've pretended to fend off voids, and make believe tricks to assume, I do not live inside a vacuum. I try to saturate this sack with all the knowledge I process everyday, news, articles and things people say. The wanton sack stays empty, no matter what I put, would it make a difference, if I didn't give it as much as a second look? But how can that be, I've something to prove to me..or perhaps it gives me a reason to be condescending.
My bottomless sack is better than yours..even though they're still empty.
Don't you see, how my ashes will be better, my rust bespeckled with stardust, my bones ivory and my hair a silken cloth.
I can blaze in the knowledge of my emptiness, enlightened with never a real smile. Always aware when I laugh and confused if I've a face or a facade.
No comments:
Post a Comment