Good stuff

Sunday and I sit alone drinking tea. Seething as it is.

This birthday weekend has been a bust and a flop.
Problem started last morning at 9 when my suggestion of going out for a nice celebratory lunch on Sunday was squashed with some pitiful remarks about his tragedy in family that didn't permit celebration.
Fine I understand but there's a way to discuss it and not least because how is this going out any different than other times that we've gone out to eat and how is buying bottles of champagnes and drinking them back to back never made him feel like the tragedy doesn't permit!

It's become a cycle to thwart everything I say which has happier tones in terms of doing something fun while anything he wants to do is permitted.
I mean of course it's permitted and I've never stopped him but to be so acidic in replies when I say something that too for his sake as a way of celebration for him!!

The cake I'd made didn't get cut, he just ate a slice of it for dessert and when I'd mentioned about cutting it on 13th he was unbothered.
When I wanted to make a table full of delicacies he asked me to make him soup and I relented if that's what he wanted.
He mostly stuck to his phone and didn't much talk solving sudoku puzzles.

This is quite strange but suddenly his fathers reflection is becoming stronger in him.

On many an occasions his father would get irritable on days when something good or different was planned, like a Pooja or road trip or anything.
He'd get annoyed and expect everyone to pander to him and ask him repeatedly as to what's wrong with him and ply him with compliments and good words .

Is what people did something similar?

Because it resulted in a miserable weekend wherein I kept to myself.
I didn't cook anything or eat anything.
I slept well cuz 'happy pills' and I woke up sullen and made tea.
I will go out and buy some groceries and grab a bite to eat just by myself and that's how I'm going to treat myself cuz I don't understand this strange shift in people behaviour in the past year.
Oh, and I was told quite a few things about my sullen mood as to how I need to see a psychiatrist :). Cuz I got so offended with his (simple) reply.

And also how my forever support to him is actually just me pretending to be nice. Lol.

I don't know who needs a psychiatrist but by the heavens something is breaking inside of me and I might soon come to a point where I won't be able to repair it.