That I've a song stuck in my head called 'dance monkey' by Tones And I would be an understatement cuz I've been humming that one part of the song 'move for me, move for me, move for me eh eh eh' since morning And it just won't stop!
Why god why!
Only because in a fit of bad taste I played a random gym playlist on Amazon music, and continued to do so for a couple days and this song always played in it, and I sort of found myself listening to it more intently, specifically when I was strength training and now it's wormed itself right inside of my ear and I can't stop humming.
Sunday, 31 January 2021
Saturday, 30 January 2021
Ugh
Weekends are most painful not least because I have to spend time cooped up with another person who has the ability to get on my nerves like nobody else.
Sometimes I feel like I'm holding frayed ends of a week rope and how long am I expected to keep trying to strengthen it when the very fibre is rotten.
Sometimes I feel like I'm holding frayed ends of a week rope and how long am I expected to keep trying to strengthen it when the very fibre is rotten.
Friday, 29 January 2021
Hmm raise eyebrows
All fat people wear Fitbit and they keep getting fatter.
What's the point and why is it so?
if someone's wearing a Fitbit doesn't it mean they're trying or want to get fit, but despite the watch telling them all the important stuff they feel they need to know, they completely ignore it and keep on getting fatter.
I started noticing this trend only recently.
See a fat person and notice their watch. It's probably a Fitbit!!
What's the point and why is it so?
if someone's wearing a Fitbit doesn't it mean they're trying or want to get fit, but despite the watch telling them all the important stuff they feel they need to know, they completely ignore it and keep on getting fatter.
I started noticing this trend only recently.
See a fat person and notice their watch. It's probably a Fitbit!!
Inverted pic and death
I forgot to upload this pic and write about my workout today not least because it's been a busy day and I've had my hands full with a recuperating cat who insists on wanting to go outside and the usual house things.
I'm currently jotting down some recipes that I'm planning to work on next week or as soon as I find some free time and my legs feel like cement and jelly at the same time.
How could this be?
Today was a long workout. A really long one. Over an hour .
I did about 20 minutes of intense cardio that included a lot of jumps and their variations with lunges, kicks, climbers and what not. 10 exercises, each exercise (20seconds)X4 times times, 10 seconds off and then a 40 minute long comprehensive lower body that included, ten minutes of non stop cardio (again), twenty minutes of strength and ten minutes of no break Pilates as a final burn out round after which I had nothing left in me save die on the mat.
I might be smiling in this pic but I'm actually dead on the inside and out and also what's up with my eyebrows? They're looking extremely thick.
Lunch kiss
Lunch is a delicious bowl of leftover khichri with a side of scrambled eggs with spinach and sausage along with a tall glass of banana and strawberry shake. 
Morning heart
A couple days ago I had embarked on a homemade sandwich bread endeavour and put a final loaf pic as well. 
Here's what a slice looks like from the said loaf.
A bit lop sided I know but I can improve upon it.
Not bad, and it tastes delicious too.
Thursday, 28 January 2021
Fluff
To get him a more softly padded collar was for me a thing of the moment. 
He was positively sad, not that he's happier now but he's definitely feeling better, could be in part that he's fed now but even so.
Snip
If only the cat would stop feeling so damn restless and sleep for a while!
So today was the day when my littlest cat got neutered and it weighs heavy on my heart. Not as much as when I'd the female babe neutered but even so.
Twinkle is back home and he hates the collar around his neck. He doesn't understand why he can't lick himself as always or manoeuvre his body around however he needs. He can't see on the sides and he sure as hell can't understand why he is unable to crawl under the couch as he usually could.
I feel utterly helpless.
The doctor has advised to not let him eat or drink anything for the next 5 hours. He wasn't allowed to eat anything before the operation either and now this.
So much trouble for such a little life.
How easy for the bigger folks to simply have their pets neutered without even knowing if they want to.
It's kind of disgusting and each time I've had this done to my babies I've felt angry at myself and wondered at the normalcy and importance this surgery has acquired.
I mean sure I don't want to see more stray cats dead in the garbage space everyday.
It's equally disheartening to see a few weeks old kittens dead and I do not hope and wish for any such lives to be lost, seeing how I'd found my little 'hope' in a similar situation, half eaten by lice with eye infections and barely two weeks old, I can understand why doctors emphasise on these procedures, but even so to take away the main reason of their existence just so there aren't anymore miserable existences anymore is an example of our fucked up world.
I'm sorry twinkle. My heart sinks as I see you hobble around the house..hungry, thirsty and utterly confounded.
I hate to see you so restless and sad. Your confusion and irritation is valid and I hope to be forgiven some day.
Soon you will recuperate and be your normal self again. Climbing trees and running amuck with your stray feline friends and I'll have to live with the knowledge of what I did to you.
I'm so fucking sorry.
Wednesday, 27 January 2021
Cat feed
This is a mere one month worth of the many canned food that my cats love. These are 24 cans. This is one of the many varieties of foods that I haul every month. There is also a 10 kilo packet of dry food, another 24 cans of gourmet food that I use for special occasions, when they're bored of the regular or when I need to bribe them to not disturb me or if I've been away from them too long and then there are the snacks.
They're like little lordlings.
Speaking of cats, this littlest one has an appointment with the vet tomorrow to get neutered.
Tomorrow is the kind of a occasion when they'll be given their special gourmet food. :)
Audio
Is there a reason why YouTube suggested I listen to the 'republic of thieves' audiobook?
I mean I was just wondering what audiobook to murder next as sandman just finished and it took me a second of thought, a fleeting wonder and here I am refreshing YouTube with this suggestion.
What gives?
Is there some invisible sensory wire attached to me nerves via zuckerberg's algorithms?
Hmm. Maybe I could listen to this audiobook. The lies of Locke Lamora was pretty fun but then again I've already started listening to the new Dresden, but that's on my machine in my study room and not in the kitchen.
Whoop! This is getting pretty complicated.
I can't have so many audiobooks in my head at the same time. Or can I?
I mean I was just wondering what audiobook to murder next as sandman just finished and it took me a second of thought, a fleeting wonder and here I am refreshing YouTube with this suggestion.
What gives?
Is there some invisible sensory wire attached to me nerves via zuckerberg's algorithms?
Hmm. Maybe I could listen to this audiobook. The lies of Locke Lamora was pretty fun but then again I've already started listening to the new Dresden, but that's on my machine in my study room and not in the kitchen.
Whoop! This is getting pretty complicated.
I can't have so many audiobooks in my head at the same time. Or can I?
Etc and naps
2021 I give you my first nap.
Yes! It happened today!
One moment I was writing in my journal and the next moment my eyes were shutting down.
I don't know what it was about and how it came to be considering I'd slept well last night but I couldn't sit any longer.
Usually I pour myself some warm water and stave off such moods but I thought, well, why not?
I went to my bedroom and found myself under the covers and there I was, dead to the world for 45 minutes straight.
It wasn't a nap strictly speaking because usually that strikes me out for at least a couple hours and this time I was sort of awake but just resting and it came to a point where I didn't want to slide out from under my warm duvet.
The room was an icebox and I waited until I could wait no more and then I slipped out, made a toast from the bread I'd baked yesterday and had it with a slice of cheese along with a ravishing cup of tea.
Say one thing about it all, say that I was refreshed.
Dinner will be in a bit.
There are things that are soaking before cooking and what not and so I shall carouse around YouTube a bit before finally hitting the kitchen.
Yes! It happened today!
One moment I was writing in my journal and the next moment my eyes were shutting down.
I don't know what it was about and how it came to be considering I'd slept well last night but I couldn't sit any longer.
Usually I pour myself some warm water and stave off such moods but I thought, well, why not?
I went to my bedroom and found myself under the covers and there I was, dead to the world for 45 minutes straight.
It wasn't a nap strictly speaking because usually that strikes me out for at least a couple hours and this time I was sort of awake but just resting and it came to a point where I didn't want to slide out from under my warm duvet.
The room was an icebox and I waited until I could wait no more and then I slipped out, made a toast from the bread I'd baked yesterday and had it with a slice of cheese along with a ravishing cup of tea.
Say one thing about it all, say that I was refreshed.
Dinner will be in a bit.
There are things that are soaking before cooking and what not and so I shall carouse around YouTube a bit before finally hitting the kitchen.
day deal
Who me?
Drinking a very watered down hot chocolate which feels like such an abomination after the delicious lunch I had.
Today was unexpected, in that I got urgent messages from my neighbour asking me if I could walk the dog this morning since she had to leave extremely early.
Of course, I can walk the dogs, just that I run an excruciatingly tight schedule and to be able to fit that walk meant I'd have to omit a couple chores to be able to begin my workout on time because then I'll be able to lunch on time and so I hurried through the morning and was able to come home in time for my morning tea.
It felt good, this walk at 8 in the morning. The cold wasn't as crisp and it was almost mildly sunny.
Everything today has been going according to plan. Functioning as it should. The workout I couldn't finish yesterday was done today and as toast, as I am, I'm glad the lunch made up for everything.
Right then. On towards some work and let's get on with our day.
This hot chocolate isn't happening.
Lunch serves
The kind of lunch I like to cook and I'd like to eat if someone wants to offer me lunch. 
Miso marinade salmon baked with skinny potato fries served with a crunchy salad dressed in sesame seed dressing.
This is delicious. I loved the marinade and I think I'd like to experiment some more.
Tuesday, 26 January 2021
oh ah
I didn't work out today but it was a fruitful day still.
I was able to update my food blog and I am glad for that and now that I feel a bit better after a small cup of tea I think I might immerse myself into some kitchen therapy.
I'm in the mood to make some sandwich bread, you know the kind we buy sliced instead of the usual sort of log-shaped bread that I always make.
Why?
No reason really except that I want to make something different.
What's for dinner then?
I don't know. Mushroom mutter maybe.
What a whiny day.
I hope to make up for it tomorrow.
I had absolutely forgotten about our Republic Day today.
How horrible.
I know today must be quite a feast in my home. My mom always makes a grand table on the two days that we often don't much think about.
More..soon.
Moody
Today is so annoyingly ugly I'm gonna eat my lunch in the balcony. 
This is kimchi fried rice with jumbo prawns and sausage with a platter of fruits.
So lame!!
I'm the person who abandoned their workout fifteen minutes in because I felt tired, fatigued and my legs didn't want to as much as budge from their place for a leg raise.
On the 10th squat I felt like why am I doing it?
My form was fucked, my mood was black and my heart was just not in it.
There's no excuse but a reason which is I didn't sleep at all last night.
In fact I slept exactly 3 hours, courtesy my cats (Meera and gogi) who insisted on waking me up to go out despite the fact that it was raining and this cycle went through most night.
Once awake I find it difficult to find sleep and it was around 5 in the morning that I gave up on it entirely and flung my covers aside, after which I went about with the usual chores, feeling dreadful, exhausted and morose.
My thighs were aching , a symptom of lack of sleep for me and as I trudged through the morning, zombie like, I craved for some sweet sleep but I was awake and not sleepy.
Now, as I started working out which was 30 minutes cardio and 30 minutes strength (back and biceps), I began feeling the exhaustion seeping in and somehow I couldn't find the zeal inside me to go on. Moreover my form suffered and that's not acceptable.
It was in the middle of flutter kicks that I said fuck it to myself and rolled my mat and began writing here.
My eyes feel ready to shut right now.
I think a shower will have to do for now and then some spicy lunch.
On the 10th squat I felt like why am I doing it?
My form was fucked, my mood was black and my heart was just not in it.
There's no excuse but a reason which is I didn't sleep at all last night.
In fact I slept exactly 3 hours, courtesy my cats (Meera and gogi) who insisted on waking me up to go out despite the fact that it was raining and this cycle went through most night.
Once awake I find it difficult to find sleep and it was around 5 in the morning that I gave up on it entirely and flung my covers aside, after which I went about with the usual chores, feeling dreadful, exhausted and morose.
My thighs were aching , a symptom of lack of sleep for me and as I trudged through the morning, zombie like, I craved for some sweet sleep but I was awake and not sleepy.
Now, as I started working out which was 30 minutes cardio and 30 minutes strength (back and biceps), I began feeling the exhaustion seeping in and somehow I couldn't find the zeal inside me to go on. Moreover my form suffered and that's not acceptable.
It was in the middle of flutter kicks that I said fuck it to myself and rolled my mat and began writing here.
My eyes feel ready to shut right now.
I think a shower will have to do for now and then some spicy lunch.
Yikes morn
The dark outside almost sinister in its dismal bearings, displaying an ability to get worse with the day.
Rainy, baleful and stodgy with sadness of a kind only those hurting might feel. Shrouding this Tuesday with dull desolation of lonesome slaty opacity that thickens as the rains get harsher.
Today I believe is not to be.
Rainy, baleful and stodgy with sadness of a kind only those hurting might feel. Shrouding this Tuesday with dull desolation of lonesome slaty opacity that thickens as the rains get harsher.
Today I believe is not to be.
Monday, 25 January 2021
Night house
Nighttime and the air is frozen which I cut through with melting sighs that come about when I think of you
Movie
Godzilla Vs Kong!
You know I'm gonna watch it.
In fact I could barely keep myself contained.
I'm with the reptile.
Obviously!!
Fuck!!
Seriously.
Hah.
You know I'm gonna watch it.
In fact I could barely keep myself contained.
I'm with the reptile.
Obviously!!
Fuck!!
Seriously.
Hah.
zorp
Right then!
I have edited over 40 photographs today and my eyes feel a bit more like jelly than usual but it's work done.
Tomorrow I post and now ladies and gentleman for my next trick, I will fold a hundred or so clothes or maybe about 40 odd clothes and pile them up and then go forth into the kitchen for dinner.
Say one thing about my days say they are tight. (that's what he said)
The cat hasn't come back yet and maybe I will have to go out and fetch the little fucker that literal fucker.
Ass I say.
on audio and other such
I know it's odd and it is, but currently, as I'm editing so many pictures I am listening to 'the blade itself' for no other reason except that it's fun.
Not sure if this is what I'm going to keep listening to because I had decided for Dresden and you must be wondering what about sandman?
Yeah well, I listen to it while cooking dinner and I want to keep it that way.
Today is all about editing pictures for the blog.
In another day or so I will click pictures for a new recipe for the book.
Just still deciding which recipe I need to create and click.
gah
Utter torture this, editing on Gimp!
I will have to do something about this.
Photoshop! Here I cometh.
Tittles
Lunch today was thin roti/ paranthas because they weren't layered with fat, some scrambled eggs and a heap of pan roasted veg with some bacon along with a strawberry and banana shake/smoothie. I'm tired of saying smoothie so I'm gonna say shake or even blend cuz that's exactly what it was. 
It was good lunch, not very inspired but delicious still.
-
The cat isn't back yet. Fucker is in heat and I'd booked an appointment for his neuter for upcoming Thursday. Apparently not soon enough. Had I known that he'd suddenly turn into this Don Juan I'd have hurried.
There better not be bastard kids about. I hope so.
Ugh
Yay Monday!
Damn it.
My littlest cat 'twinkle' was out the house yesterday as he often is but didn't come back the entire night which is a bit rare.
Finally he came to in the morning after much luring and what not, but immediately after having some food he was back out again.
This is making me a bit upset because each time he returns he is dirtier than the last time and by the heavens I ain't letting anyone as dirty as him sit on my couch and bed.
Today!
What does today entail. A whole lot of editing actually, and right now some workout.
I'm doing a no nonsense, no frill cardio workout today with lots of pulses and there might be a death wish in it somewhere.
The weather seems a bit sepia, you know the kind when there's a smidgen of sun from in between grey clouds. I doubt it will stay this way too long though.
This week is overcast and rainy and it's no good .
Sighs!!
To the workouts then.
Damn it.
My littlest cat 'twinkle' was out the house yesterday as he often is but didn't come back the entire night which is a bit rare.
Finally he came to in the morning after much luring and what not, but immediately after having some food he was back out again.
This is making me a bit upset because each time he returns he is dirtier than the last time and by the heavens I ain't letting anyone as dirty as him sit on my couch and bed.
Today!
What does today entail. A whole lot of editing actually, and right now some workout.
I'm doing a no nonsense, no frill cardio workout today with lots of pulses and there might be a death wish in it somewhere.
The weather seems a bit sepia, you know the kind when there's a smidgen of sun from in between grey clouds. I doubt it will stay this way too long though.
This week is overcast and rainy and it's no good .
Sighs!!
To the workouts then.
Sunday, 24 January 2021
Saturday, 23 January 2021
Friday, 22 January 2021
Frenemy
When they're not fighting they insist on sleeping together. 
They are twinkle (white and grey) and Meera
Colours
I loved how beautifully rose chrome gold this building is, contrasting against the drab cold rainy backdrop. 
Slurp crunch
This coffee (which ain't mine cuz it's got milk) is served in a cookie cup as in a Cup made of cookie and it's so cute and Kitsch..innnit? 
Everybody sucks
The routine indeed does get too much and this morning I was of the same mood, seeing how I've to get ready and exit home at about 10:40 myself, the list of things that needed be done before was vast, because no matter how much I stick to the (let's do most stuff the night before) chores still pile up in the morning and it irked me into an a noxious ire that 'people' hadn't even bothered to wind up their charging cables etc and they were lying on the floor. This is small but it adds to what all I have to do, along with the cats wanting to be fed just as I was washing dishes that were a day old lunchbox that 'people' peeled out of their bag in the morning.
I mean I feel angry, exhausted and irritable that here I am still in deep with more dishes from the fixing of breakfast while a cat gnaws at my ankle to be fed, a charging cable lies on the floor, ignored since last night and there are night clothes strewn on dining table and sofa that also I have to keep out of eyesight cuz I fucking hate messy clothes about the house while 'people' are reading the fucking news on their phones and talking to me about stuff.
I lashed out and asked to keep quiet or at the very least not talk to me because my zen is fucked and I have no interest in hearing 'your' voice in the morning.
That did bring a lull for a short second because it was maddening ruckus again with another cat pawing at the bowl to tell me he needed food.
The cats were fed early morning but people give them cursory meals, more like a small snack so they don't bother for a while and when they do bother it's time to be busy in the morning.
Too many things at the same time and Sometimes I wade through that swamp and sometimes I find myself sinking.
It's like a mental clock.
Okay I got to give the cats food then I need to quickly spruce the house with a bit of brooming, then there's the bed to be made and clothes that need shoving into the washer and then I can finally sit and have tea and then a quick shower and scoot!
Oh but the charging cable is lying in the floor, and there are clothes strewn on the sofa and there's a lonely sock on the table. Okay!
I will kill someone
I mean I feel angry, exhausted and irritable that here I am still in deep with more dishes from the fixing of breakfast while a cat gnaws at my ankle to be fed, a charging cable lies on the floor, ignored since last night and there are night clothes strewn on dining table and sofa that also I have to keep out of eyesight cuz I fucking hate messy clothes about the house while 'people' are reading the fucking news on their phones and talking to me about stuff.
I lashed out and asked to keep quiet or at the very least not talk to me because my zen is fucked and I have no interest in hearing 'your' voice in the morning.
That did bring a lull for a short second because it was maddening ruckus again with another cat pawing at the bowl to tell me he needed food.
The cats were fed early morning but people give them cursory meals, more like a small snack so they don't bother for a while and when they do bother it's time to be busy in the morning.
Too many things at the same time and Sometimes I wade through that swamp and sometimes I find myself sinking.
It's like a mental clock.
Okay I got to give the cats food then I need to quickly spruce the house with a bit of brooming, then there's the bed to be made and clothes that need shoving into the washer and then I can finally sit and have tea and then a quick shower and scoot!
Oh but the charging cable is lying in the floor, and there are clothes strewn on the sofa and there's a lonely sock on the table. Okay!
I will kill someone
Thursday, 21 January 2021
Boom boom tomorrow
Some parts of Shanghai have gone on lockdown and I'm wondering how the hell does this virus get through such stringent measures that the Chinese have enforced?
Even one case if enough to put places in lockdown here.
Tomorrow is supposed to be something of a day for me because my friend who's food lover and a deal hunter has found a delightful Italian restaurant that serves an antipasto buffet every Friday and to make a buffet out of the first course of an Italian meal and to actually have it as lunch, will be quite something.
I mean imagine having a lunch made solely of Hors d'oeuvres. Most tempting.
The only thing off is that the reservations have been made for 11:30, which means we are supposed to leave at 10:45!
Now who the fuck leaves at this time for lunch?!
Even one case if enough to put places in lockdown here.
Tomorrow is supposed to be something of a day for me because my friend who's food lover and a deal hunter has found a delightful Italian restaurant that serves an antipasto buffet every Friday and to make a buffet out of the first course of an Italian meal and to actually have it as lunch, will be quite something.
I mean imagine having a lunch made solely of Hors d'oeuvres. Most tempting.
The only thing off is that the reservations have been made for 11:30, which means we are supposed to leave at 10:45!
Now who the fuck leaves at this time for lunch?!
Are we there yet?!
Can you believe that I just had lunch? Yeah!! At 3:00 in the afternoon.
But my lord, it's only because I'd thrown myself into the cleaning of the house and though it's not spring the histrionics associated with spring cleaning most certainly had taken over me like a haunting of moi and while one part of the house was being attended by the housekeeper the other part was taken by me and together we finished almost 60% of the house.
The rest, which means the wiping down of the walls and the cleaning of top of lights and such will happen next Thursday.
Also today was brutal in workout in that it was both 28 minutes of tabata style intense exercises followed by 30 minutes of lower body strength and man of man!! And all cleaning that followed after has left me wanting to do nothing save lie on the couch with my cats.
But my lord, it's only because I'd thrown myself into the cleaning of the house and though it's not spring the histrionics associated with spring cleaning most certainly had taken over me like a haunting of moi and while one part of the house was being attended by the housekeeper the other part was taken by me and together we finished almost 60% of the house.
The rest, which means the wiping down of the walls and the cleaning of top of lights and such will happen next Thursday.
Also today was brutal in workout in that it was both 28 minutes of tabata style intense exercises followed by 30 minutes of lower body strength and man of man!! And all cleaning that followed after has left me wanting to do nothing save lie on the couch with my cats.
Not what it seems
This image came out better than I expected also it's just to show that what a finished image clicked from certain angles can look as opposed to the broader imagery. 
Just to look at this image one wouldn't be able to guess that it was clicked in a sort of wet balcony with rains still drizzling on the outside and mud stains trickling along the walls.
Carpe diem
The rains kind of stopped for a minute but not before making my balcony look weirdly wet and disgusting. Anyway, I took the opportunity and clicked some pics. 
Morning mush
It's Thursday today!
You know what that means.
The housekeeper will be coming and so I've not gone about with the usual activities of the morning that was sprucing up the house etc, which gives me a breather but it also means I need to be done with my workouts soon and that my lunch will be something quick and mostly rushed.
Also, I've to click pictures.
Perhaps once everything is done I will click them.
No point right now because it's raining!!!
Ugh.
But maybe once the rains let up a bit.
Sure! Why not.
You know what that means.
The housekeeper will be coming and so I've not gone about with the usual activities of the morning that was sprucing up the house etc, which gives me a breather but it also means I need to be done with my workouts soon and that my lunch will be something quick and mostly rushed.
Also, I've to click pictures.
Perhaps once everything is done I will click them.
No point right now because it's raining!!!
Ugh.
But maybe once the rains let up a bit.
Sure! Why not.
Weather damn
It cold, clammy and wet. The kind of cold weather I detest.
Everything feels wet to the touch. Everything feels dirty and sickly and sticky and gross.
It feels like I'm sitting in a pool of slugs.
Ugh
Everything feels wet to the touch. Everything feels dirty and sickly and sticky and gross.
It feels like I'm sitting in a pool of slugs.
Ugh
Wednesday, 20 January 2021
Marvel
After avengers they've no more a dead horse to beat so they're coming out with Loki until they find more ways to make more spin-offs to add to the avengers ins one way or another.
Come on!
Come on!
:/
All dressed up and no place to go.
It's dark now. Not enough light to click pictures of this burnished baby.
Story of my life.
I'll have to take pictures tomorrow.
Uh huh!!
And just like that it's gotten overcast and it's not even 4:30 yet. The sun has disappeared.
This wasn't supposed to happen .
I've still got to click pics for the final version and here we are!!
Sans natural light.
I think I light have to shift the timings for this to an earlier time and maybe postpone my workouts to a later one! I don't know.
I'm angry and confused.
This wasn't supposed to happen .
I've still got to click pics for the final version and here we are!!
Sans natural light.
I think I light have to shift the timings for this to an earlier time and maybe postpone my workouts to a later one! I don't know.
I'm angry and confused.
Cake by any name
Isn't it pretty? 
And it's not even baked yet!!
It's a yogurt blueberry cake.
The easiest recipe there can ever be.
Made entirely in one pan and then baked. I call it blueberry yogurt cake cuz I anointed it with berries, but you can just as easily not put anything and call it a yogurt cake, or too it with cake slices or sliced almonds or any fruit of choice and call it (fruit) tougher cake.
Oh, and I out pistachios dor the crunch and the contrast.
And this
Lounge is where I get maximum light and that has most space for these shenanigans. 
I mean my bathroom actually gets the best lighting but one can't make do this in a bathtub..maybe someone can.. but I can't
Lunch hug
Lunch was a very simple avocado and scrambled eggs (whites only) sandwich with a heaping helping of coleslaw that I made extremely low cal, filling and unbearably delicious. I mean it was so good that I'm eating another piece of toast with it. 
I loved how easily delicious and put together this entire lunch felt and tasted and I think this coleslaw recipe is for keeps .
Morning morse
What the actual fuck!!
A mail that I was typing here has disappeared with no signs of it's existence.
I mean it was a post it I'd written a whole lot.
Wednesday!
I'm sipping water even before 9. Things did speed a bit today and I intend to make the most of it .
Me?
I'm still angry and feel violated for some reason.
My heart is low on fuel for love and the milk of human kindness is diminishing by the minute.
I think I'll bake a cake for the blog.
Not very smart of me seeing how it's overcast and blustery and cold and I have no apples to make a soup for which I shall promptly go shopping.
I hope to be able to put up these posts by next week.
Argh!
If today had a face it would be decapitated and tearing off.
A mail that I was typing here has disappeared with no signs of it's existence.
I mean it was a post it I'd written a whole lot.
Wednesday!
I'm sipping water even before 9. Things did speed a bit today and I intend to make the most of it .
Me?
I'm still angry and feel violated for some reason.
My heart is low on fuel for love and the milk of human kindness is diminishing by the minute.
I think I'll bake a cake for the blog.
Not very smart of me seeing how it's overcast and blustery and cold and I have no apples to make a soup for which I shall promptly go shopping.
I hope to be able to put up these posts by next week.
Argh!
If today had a face it would be decapitated and tearing off.
Tuesday, 19 January 2021
speedy boop
I am incensed!! at every fucking thing.
The only thing keeping me from lashing out is the fact that sandman has downloaded and I look forward to listening to it while cooking.
Yes! It's a new thing.
You know how it is. We go through different phases every now and then and currently, my phase of choice is lighting up candles around the house (I seem to be partial towards the woodsy aromatics. My favourite one is called the forest on mountains) and cooking dinner while listening to audiobooks. This is precisely how I was able to finish ancillary justice recently and before I start with the final one I look forward to listening sandman and maybe even a Dresden, though I hope to be drawing soon.
I might go flit between acid or classical jazz or slipknot every now and then because sometimes one just needs to, but as of now, it's audiobooks.
I mean not very different from that time I was obsessing over listening to Osho!
Perhaps a bit similar even, but there's something to be said about having the speaker close to you and listening to a book.
wtf tube!
So youtube threw this video at me which had lots of delicious food on the thumbnails and read 'TW' (trigger warning) and there was some more to it but I just clicked it without reading much and there was a person eating copious amounts of food, mostly lots of sweetbreads, pastries, cakes etc with subtitles since the video had no voiceover in a bathroom.
She was talking about how she is going to eat almost 3000 calories worth of snacks in the bathroom since it's easier for her to purge!
what on earth!!
Come on youtube.
I mean they'll strike down and demonetize channels that don't have words like 'pussy, ass, tits' etc bleeped out but they'll let these videos on eating disorders float along freely?!
This is most disturbing. I can't stop thinking about that person who went down this road, how absolutely awful.
muzak
This is absolutely delicious.
heavy fisted doom kissed with psychedelic tones with those long drawn sexy vocals that seem to swim along with the tenor of the music.
Such a mood this.
sigh and argh
I woke up feeling extra cranky and angry.
Annoyed, irritated and in tears for some reason. I don't know and I cannot say but it all felt so futile and I felt morbidly lonely.
Somehow I pushed through the day. Even my morning cup of tea couldn't cheer me up.
The workout was a good one though. An hour-long punishment which had HIIT for a few minutes and then endurance and some balance and finally yoga.
That was perhaps the only time when I wasn't thinking about how shite everything was and how disgruntled I felt.
Tuesday it is.
Lunch bites
I know! 
This plate of lunch scramble looks like dog food. I mean what is this even?
What I visualised in my head didn't quite turn out in appearances, the taste however exceeded my expectations.
It was delicious! Nay! It was fucking delicious.
Okay!
So I'd sliced potatoes, both sweet and regular using a mandolin into paper thin discs, thinking that they'd retain their shape and size after getting cooked, however in a pan, once I began flipping them, they started breaking.
So this part of the dish should be made in an oven! Noted.
Next was pieces of bacon, smoked salmon and other vegetables cooked together and I didn't chop them all the same size and we can see that.
This isn't a restaurant item but my lunch and so I let it pass, also I was in a hurry to eat.
But next time I will prep better.
Monday, 18 January 2021
Argh
Okay,
So the sandman audiobook is no longer available on YouTube!!
This is irritating. I'm two hours in.
Ima reach for audiobookbay now
So the sandman audiobook is no longer available on YouTube!!
This is irritating. I'm two hours in.
Ima reach for audiobookbay now
little things
It could be that I'm trying to make up for my morning slovenliness or the fact that there is no more bread in the house that I am going to launch myself full-tilt into the depths of domesticity today.
Once I'm finished with this cup of weak coffee and finished with transferring the last couple images into my hard drive I shall enter my kitchen and start heavily with the pottering about.
Not before 4 at the very least, because heavens I need a moment's breather.
Right, an update regarding my cat.
I need to get the little one neutered.
My conversation with a doctor went as follows.
Me: "I don't know if I should get him neutered, he's still very young"
Doctor: can you see his balls?
Me:"umm..uh..well, yes"
Doctor: he's old enough. get him neutered.
Me: "okay"
so yeah that went well.
Lunch hearts
Lunch was an atrociously superb salad of roasted vegetables, tofu and smoked salmon with of course a tall glass of fruit smoothie. 
I liked this salad which was really just put together with not much thought and I think I liked the miso dressing I added to it.
Maybe I'll tweak this recipe and try again.
Updates
So it didn't happen.
The workout didn't happen but vegetable shopping did and am I guilty about it? Not a bit.
It's such a mental game, this whole workout bit and sometimes you're caught on the back foot.
I could have exercised but I knew it wouldn't feel the same because I was totally not into it, not least because I'm just a day away from feeling totally fine from the usual annoyance but also because I don't want to exercise over that mood which tells me to not to.
Of course I don't always listen to it but today I did. I mean sometimes I do.
What does that mean?
Well, tomorrow I am going to go full throttle and that'll be how my everyday will be for the rest of the month until it's another cycle.
And now? I think I'll prepare some lunch.
There's smoked salmon in the fridge and I have an abundance of veg. Why not some roast veg and salmon then?
To the kitchen.
The workout didn't happen but vegetable shopping did and am I guilty about it? Not a bit.
It's such a mental game, this whole workout bit and sometimes you're caught on the back foot.
I could have exercised but I knew it wouldn't feel the same because I was totally not into it, not least because I'm just a day away from feeling totally fine from the usual annoyance but also because I don't want to exercise over that mood which tells me to not to.
Of course I don't always listen to it but today I did. I mean sometimes I do.
What does that mean?
Well, tomorrow I am going to go full throttle and that'll be how my everyday will be for the rest of the month until it's another cycle.
And now? I think I'll prepare some lunch.
There's smoked salmon in the fridge and I have an abundance of veg. Why not some roast veg and salmon then?
To the kitchen.
What shall it be
My crisper drawer is empty and it's a shame seeing how Monday is the start of the week and I have no vegetables. I mean I do but they're not enough for anything.
I woke up late today. A bit after 8 and I'm glad for it because I was not in the mood nor in that frame of mind to actually do anything this morning. No reason except that I have lingering aches and I'm using that as an excuse.
Right, so I decided to step out and buy some veg except it's cold out and again I'm in no mood. It's like Monday hasn't started for me yet. I'm slow to accelerate full throttle into weekdays and still languorous paced, I stand back yawning and wondering what to make of it all.
This isn't good I know.
I should I be more proactive but somehow my weekends are so busy that I do not feel like I need to do anything other than what I am currently doing.
Lame excuse I know.
Okay! Let me take a deep breath and figure out if I want to go out and buy veg or do some intense cardio and maybe then go out and buy veg.
Decisions!
I woke up late today. A bit after 8 and I'm glad for it because I was not in the mood nor in that frame of mind to actually do anything this morning. No reason except that I have lingering aches and I'm using that as an excuse.
Right, so I decided to step out and buy some veg except it's cold out and again I'm in no mood. It's like Monday hasn't started for me yet. I'm slow to accelerate full throttle into weekdays and still languorous paced, I stand back yawning and wondering what to make of it all.
This isn't good I know.
I should I be more proactive but somehow my weekends are so busy that I do not feel like I need to do anything other than what I am currently doing.
Lame excuse I know.
Okay! Let me take a deep breath and figure out if I want to go out and buy veg or do some intense cardio and maybe then go out and buy veg.
Decisions!
Gum theory
At a massive gathering of people on a mountain where chairs for seating were aligned in a row on descending steps. People dressed in their finery collected for an evening amidst gorgeously pleasant weather with plenty of fun activities.
I walked around, waiting for you but my mouth was full of so much chewing gum.
There was so much gum in my mouth I could barely speak and so I found a spot in a corner where no one could see me pull it out and I wasn't surprised to realise that it was stuck at the back of my molars, and I had to keep tugging at it.
It was most annoying because I knew this feeling somehow and it was a déjà vu this chewing gum debacle and why I'd let myself get into this situation and that too just moments before you were about to arrive was something I kept hating myself for.
How naive and ridiculously shortsighted of me.
At the back of my head I was planning to indulge in this activity wherein one could climb up the air to the clouds where the sky had been painted pastel blue and pink and slowly climb down. I was so looking forward to do it with you, but for this chewing gum which was slowly becoming something of a serious issue because i couldn't pry the damn thing out of my mouth.
It aggravated me so that I woke up.
I felt my teeth with my tongue and sure enough there was gum stuck behind all my teeth.
I quietly sat at my desk and started pulling out that blasted chewing gum I kept dreaming about.
It came out in small, very sticky patches and I had difficulty trying to get rid of it from my fingers that I used for pulling out the gum.
It was most annoying and then I woke up.
I walked around, waiting for you but my mouth was full of so much chewing gum.
There was so much gum in my mouth I could barely speak and so I found a spot in a corner where no one could see me pull it out and I wasn't surprised to realise that it was stuck at the back of my molars, and I had to keep tugging at it.
It was most annoying because I knew this feeling somehow and it was a déjà vu this chewing gum debacle and why I'd let myself get into this situation and that too just moments before you were about to arrive was something I kept hating myself for.
How naive and ridiculously shortsighted of me.
At the back of my head I was planning to indulge in this activity wherein one could climb up the air to the clouds where the sky had been painted pastel blue and pink and slowly climb down. I was so looking forward to do it with you, but for this chewing gum which was slowly becoming something of a serious issue because i couldn't pry the damn thing out of my mouth.
It aggravated me so that I woke up.
I felt my teeth with my tongue and sure enough there was gum stuck behind all my teeth.
I quietly sat at my desk and started pulling out that blasted chewing gum I kept dreaming about.
It came out in small, very sticky patches and I had difficulty trying to get rid of it from my fingers that I used for pulling out the gum.
It was most annoying and then I woke up.
Sunday, 17 January 2021
Warm and cozy
I know I know. Another bed? 
Well yes, because maybe just maybe another cat might want to sit in it. It's just an experiment really and a way of convenience.
It's cold today and my cats are feeling sprawled near the heater all day long and I wish they'd use this bed now.
I shall report.
Saturday, 16 January 2021
Evening
So very typically izakaya. 
This suntory lady called Haruka Igawa is everywhere in every izakaya ever.
This was indeed fascinating.
What a Saturday!!
It’s cold meow
A friend sent me a pic of all her cats lounging in front of a heater like the planets around a solar system and more than anything I applaud the bravura that she is for keeping so many cats. 
Is cold
It all looks so cold tonight as a bunch of us step out to an izakaya I've never traversed before which promises to be one of the best out there. 
Clean ups
Look who got cleaned today. 
It was a drill and a half to bathe these felines but it had to be done because yikes they were dirty.
Today was a cleanup sort of a day wherein it's not the house as much as the corners and crannies that got vacuumed, linens were aired, litter trays were washed and litter got changed.
I also have this things about the bottom part of all the furniture and walls that I feel get sometimes neglected and even dirty while cleaning the house and so every now and then I douse a cloth with disinfectant and water and rub/clean the bottom 6 inches of all my furniture and walls and even my furniture covers because with so many cats in the house and their shedding and their size I realise there are parts of the house one doesn't realise get dirty, and because they're not at eye level the usually go unnoticed.
Friday, 15 January 2021
Moods
Listening to Rammstein's 'mutter' because that song is stuck in my head ever since I woke up and I need to get this itch out of my head more so because I woke up feeling icky as fuck and for a reason.
The next few days I'm going to be annoyed, irritable and upset and I've been this way since morning.
Right then!
A bit more of mutter on loop and then onwards and outward.
I hope a bit of superstore therapy will help.
The next few days I'm going to be annoyed, irritable and upset and I've been this way since morning.
Right then!
A bit more of mutter on loop and then onwards and outward.
I hope a bit of superstore therapy will help.
Thursday, 14 January 2021
More snippets
Today was massive!!!
I was able to accomplish a whole lot because I didn't do any chores today, not simply out of sheer laziness but also because the housekeeper was coming and I thought maybe taking it easier is better.
It was a long workout session.
An hour of intense cardio that included abs and obliques and the exercises were total 12 in numbers. Each one for 20 seconds but done 8 times over with a 10 second rest.
So it was one cardio, one abs so on and so forth X8 times.
Exhausting.
But it didn't end there since I continued with a half an hour long balancing workout which I finally eased into Vinayasa.
I was sweaty, exhausted, my heart rate a whopping 170, dripping and flopping on the mat by the end of it.
I am a very different sort of dead today.
Tomorrow is recovery and supermarket with a friend and I am glad for that.
-
Lunch was delicious but a little rushed because the housekeeper had started with the vacuuming and the cats were scattered and it gets a bit confusing by this time.
It's like I feel the need to immediately get done with things and make way and space for her to clean.
But it was a recipe for a sandwich that I'd been thinking of adding to the book.
Basically roasted vegetables with some bacon (though I'll make it plant based) over toasted bread. It came out nice but not pretty enough to get photographed because I literally plonked everything over the bread and the veg pieces were a bit large and didn't fall as well as I'd have wanted. But it was quite good!!
I'll tweak and make some more variations before finalising it.
Also had an apple and yogurt smoothie with cinnamon and I am satiated and full.
I was able to accomplish a whole lot because I didn't do any chores today, not simply out of sheer laziness but also because the housekeeper was coming and I thought maybe taking it easier is better.
It was a long workout session.
An hour of intense cardio that included abs and obliques and the exercises were total 12 in numbers. Each one for 20 seconds but done 8 times over with a 10 second rest.
So it was one cardio, one abs so on and so forth X8 times.
Exhausting.
But it didn't end there since I continued with a half an hour long balancing workout which I finally eased into Vinayasa.
I was sweaty, exhausted, my heart rate a whopping 170, dripping and flopping on the mat by the end of it.
I am a very different sort of dead today.
Tomorrow is recovery and supermarket with a friend and I am glad for that.
-
Lunch was delicious but a little rushed because the housekeeper had started with the vacuuming and the cats were scattered and it gets a bit confusing by this time.
It's like I feel the need to immediately get done with things and make way and space for her to clean.
But it was a recipe for a sandwich that I'd been thinking of adding to the book.
Basically roasted vegetables with some bacon (though I'll make it plant based) over toasted bread. It came out nice but not pretty enough to get photographed because I literally plonked everything over the bread and the veg pieces were a bit large and didn't fall as well as I'd have wanted. But it was quite good!!
I'll tweak and make some more variations before finalising it.
Also had an apple and yogurt smoothie with cinnamon and I am satiated and full.
tiny tranquil totems
Doesn't have to be either all or nothing. 
As I mentioned in the last post I needed a large cup of tea and that's something I've tried to reserve only for weekends and so as I needed something more than the usual small morning cup of tea, this glass was decidedly a Better option.
Larger than the small cup but a lot smaller than the mug.
Win win I say.
The night that was. Come at me Thursday
Say one thing about last night say I couldn't sleep.
The most dignified among my cats, Mr. Gogi was in a mood and it was around 1 at night that he began meowing because he was hungry.
No sir!! No one is getting fed at this hour. And so I ignored, except he didn't let me.
He jumped near my face, made his pleading purrs, walked around the room making himself audible to wake me because he's a smart cat and he was well aware that I was awake.
I threw aside the covers and opened the main gates because sometimes he likes to go out at night but that wasn't his mood.
No! He kicked at one of the empty food bowls to indicate it was food he wanted.
Nope I nodded sleepily and went back shivering into my warm bed.
It's impossible for me to find my sleep after having been awake for a few minutes and so I started trying to lull myself back into Deep sleep.
He meowed against after a while just as I was almost near the edges of my sleep and this time he wanted to go out.
I waited for a while and then relented.
Fine! I got it again, shivering and opened the main gates.
It was 2:20.
Five minutes later there are tiny feet running amuck in the house.
What on earth?!! I thought.
Mr. Gogi was back from the open balcony and was running around the house making that typical noise he does when he wants to create a din to wake up someone.
It was at this time that 'people' got up, annoyed and banged the bedroom door shut.
I pretend to stay asleep as I tried to inconsequentially find my sleep yet again that seemed to be straying further away from me at this moment.
A few minutes later I heard scratching on the bedroom room without.
It was Gogi wanting in.
I threw back the covers again and opened the door to let him in.
The time was about 3:00.
I told myself to sleep. And started trying to meditate in the head to find it but now it was already 3 and it was time for another cat's rousing. And this time Meera got active wanting to go out, he started walking all over my sleeping person trying to rouse me.
All this activity of me waking up and and coming back to bed had probably woken him up as Meera sleeps on my bed near my feet.
He wanted out.
Again I flung the covers, shivering! Opened the main door and let him out.
The watch said it was around 4:02.
I had to be awake just 3 hours later if not less. I tried to make myself sleep again, and didn't realise when I was asleep.
Around 6:50 I woke up, groggy and ready to die.
One look at me and people asked me to go back to bed and leave the morning rituals be.
I'd have protested on any other day but not today and so back I went with 2 cats in tow who immediately found themselves a snug spot on my duvet and we all slept.
I woke up around 9:20, feeling relatively refreshed and one of the cats it still asleep on the bed. I think I'll wait a while to make the bed and get on with some tea because I need it! In fact I need a big cup.
The most dignified among my cats, Mr. Gogi was in a mood and it was around 1 at night that he began meowing because he was hungry.
No sir!! No one is getting fed at this hour. And so I ignored, except he didn't let me.
He jumped near my face, made his pleading purrs, walked around the room making himself audible to wake me because he's a smart cat and he was well aware that I was awake.
I threw aside the covers and opened the main gates because sometimes he likes to go out at night but that wasn't his mood.
No! He kicked at one of the empty food bowls to indicate it was food he wanted.
Nope I nodded sleepily and went back shivering into my warm bed.
It's impossible for me to find my sleep after having been awake for a few minutes and so I started trying to lull myself back into Deep sleep.
He meowed against after a while just as I was almost near the edges of my sleep and this time he wanted to go out.
I waited for a while and then relented.
Fine! I got it again, shivering and opened the main gates.
It was 2:20.
Five minutes later there are tiny feet running amuck in the house.
What on earth?!! I thought.
Mr. Gogi was back from the open balcony and was running around the house making that typical noise he does when he wants to create a din to wake up someone.
It was at this time that 'people' got up, annoyed and banged the bedroom door shut.
I pretend to stay asleep as I tried to inconsequentially find my sleep yet again that seemed to be straying further away from me at this moment.
A few minutes later I heard scratching on the bedroom room without.
It was Gogi wanting in.
I threw back the covers again and opened the door to let him in.
The time was about 3:00.
I told myself to sleep. And started trying to meditate in the head to find it but now it was already 3 and it was time for another cat's rousing. And this time Meera got active wanting to go out, he started walking all over my sleeping person trying to rouse me.
All this activity of me waking up and and coming back to bed had probably woken him up as Meera sleeps on my bed near my feet.
He wanted out.
Again I flung the covers, shivering! Opened the main door and let him out.
The watch said it was around 4:02.
I had to be awake just 3 hours later if not less. I tried to make myself sleep again, and didn't realise when I was asleep.
Around 6:50 I woke up, groggy and ready to die.
One look at me and people asked me to go back to bed and leave the morning rituals be.
I'd have protested on any other day but not today and so back I went with 2 cats in tow who immediately found themselves a snug spot on my duvet and we all slept.
I woke up around 9:20, feeling relatively refreshed and one of the cats it still asleep on the bed. I think I'll wait a while to make the bed and get on with some tea because I need it! In fact I need a big cup.
Wednesday, 13 January 2021
Nights light
Pirate of the high seas with enough cats to keep off the plague and abundant lemons to stave off scurvy, now plotting holes in aqueous shores of nightly delights, one eyed, Har Har I say, stomping single legged on wooden boards as one limb sleeps and the left eye weeps from a stray hair.
My hat begs apologies made of satin yarn to ward off frizz me hearty, a bedside bottle of water like rum to help me walk the plank onward certain zzz's.
My hat begs apologies made of satin yarn to ward off frizz me hearty, a bedside bottle of water like rum to help me walk the plank onward certain zzz's.
Night visions
My nightly virtues are near ambiguous in their flitting desires to think either the most unprintable thoughts or get romantically inclined to a mush of hearts and soul.
eye peel
It's been a while since I made any updates regarding everything that I've been watching these days.
The last series I had binge-watched was 'the break' while in quarantine after which I have personally that is to say on my own, alone not watched much except a few episodes of 'the wolverine' which is an anime which was good but couldn't hold my attention for too long.
I'm waiting for beastars.
Then I watched /am watching 'Longmire' a crime series set in the West with cowboy hats and all based on novels written by 'Craig Johnson' and though I haven't read any of his novels the series is definitely interesting.
It's a single episode sort of investigation, cop drama mystery with a few characters, a small-town sheriff, his deputies, friends and family. Everything keeps getting knocked between these few characters and every investigation is one episode long.
It is fun and not very intense but surely interesting.
I'm thinking the novels will be far better than the series in that they will be a really addictive read.
The main character 'Longmire' I really came to enjoy at first but after a bit, he felt like such a dinosaur dad, but nevertheless, it's pretty good and definitely worth giving a try.
Then I watched Criminal Justice, the Indian version and since I've watched all the other ones this one didn't waver much except it was too intense in a way that I don't much like and I might have been browsing the webs while it played in the background..
Not to take anything away from it, the acting and direction were definitely meticulous and some people might even love it. It was okay for me.
Then I watched 'Asur', with Arshad Warsi et al. and it was masala and watchable in a slightly captivating way but if you've watched and read death Note then you know how intense some mysteries of the 'good for the world' can get skewed in a way that can go horribly and nothing comes close to that. It's not bad but I've seen better similar tropes.
I finally caved in after seeing the 98% suggestion rating that Netflix flashed for a series which kept popping on my screen called 'Alice in Borderland' and now I don't know how to stop.
It's Japanese, based on a graphic novel of the same name, which I haven't read and can I just say that it's fantastic.
It has that gaming survival trope which I absolutely adore and two episodes in I am hooked.
This is one of those series I will binge-watch.
Right then, I shall now get to some editing work and curse this world some more.
Lunch edit
Now where I'm earth is my lunch post that I'd posted?
Where did it go?
Why did it not make it to the blog??
Here it goes again then.
A whole platter of deliciousness.
Baked beans from this morning. It's from my recipe book with a piece of toast, 2 rashers of bacon. potato, mushroom and 1 whole egg and 2 egg whites on the side with a tall glass of blueberry and strawberry smoothie.
This right here is about 600 calories worth of a meal.
But not bad I say. It's high volume low calorie and will keep my full until it's about evening and then I'll have dinner.
Gah
Just got invited to go out shopping and then coffee and cake with a friend and I turned it down cuz man, I have no time.
I have a workout to finish and I know as much fun as it's gonna be I need to be a bit more strict about my days.
There's editing that needs be done and I'm not going to break my schedule of meals that I've decided upon etc for a weekday indulgence. I mean I want to stay on track for a month or so before I am a bit more flexible.
Last month when I was fresh out of the quarantine and self imposed year long exile from the world of have hopped on to the opportunity but as the mating as it all sounds I really can't break the flow right now.
I need more time.
Having said that I am already booked next Friday for an anti pasto buffet with a friend and this Friday I am going to a new superstore opening.
Life I tell you; fun things are restricted to weekends.
I have a workout to finish and I know as much fun as it's gonna be I need to be a bit more strict about my days.
There's editing that needs be done and I'm not going to break my schedule of meals that I've decided upon etc for a weekday indulgence. I mean I want to stay on track for a month or so before I am a bit more flexible.
Last month when I was fresh out of the quarantine and self imposed year long exile from the world of have hopped on to the opportunity but as the mating as it all sounds I really can't break the flow right now.
I need more time.
Having said that I am already booked next Friday for an anti pasto buffet with a friend and this Friday I am going to a new superstore opening.
Life I tell you; fun things are restricted to weekends.
Bot like
Dear diary,
I abhor most wholeheartedly that I have to wake up early these days in the winter and fix things around the house.
I loathe not having a moment of repose after waking and getting accelerated full throttle into the machinations of the day.
I dislike this morning time of bustling busyness.
What I really want is the languorous momentum that I have grown to love.
To slowly wake up and not care.
Maybe have some water, a cup of tea before diving straight ahead into the deeps..this however is such a contradiction to what usually happens.
More like I wake up and immediately Wade into the deepest, murkiest end of the ocean and start sinking.
There's a small window during this time that I write in after torpedoing through the house with numerous chores that seem to write off like a list in my head which I keep striking off one after another that somewhat irk me because I'd like to go about mornings with the speed of a sleepy snail and not an over caffeinated bullet.
Well then!! To tea.
I abhor most wholeheartedly that I have to wake up early these days in the winter and fix things around the house.
I loathe not having a moment of repose after waking and getting accelerated full throttle into the machinations of the day.
I dislike this morning time of bustling busyness.
What I really want is the languorous momentum that I have grown to love.
To slowly wake up and not care.
Maybe have some water, a cup of tea before diving straight ahead into the deeps..this however is such a contradiction to what usually happens.
More like I wake up and immediately Wade into the deepest, murkiest end of the ocean and start sinking.
There's a small window during this time that I write in after torpedoing through the house with numerous chores that seem to write off like a list in my head which I keep striking off one after another that somewhat irk me because I'd like to go about mornings with the speed of a sleepy snail and not an over caffeinated bullet.
Well then!! To tea.
-
Morning comes and day begins. One after another. Sometimes it almost feels like I can't take another morning anymore.
Affirmations
For I intend to scribble tonight with dreams of my own making; ones that make more sense when I wake up, that leave a residual high of effervescent happiness and glad smiles.
I tell myself that tomorrow morning I shan't feel sullen, that I will fling aside these warm trappings of blue cozy confines and stride on towards the incoming Wednesday with a shameless guile, an underhanded smile, smirking in the face of tomorrow to come, striking down its smug frigidness with my crafty confidence and ride on through with a battle like fervour.
I will subjugate my everyday morning coerced rituals with a willingness unwitnessed, unparalleled, unassuming even and vanquish the crankiness of waking up early, a mood that lingers on me like a clingy shadow.
Tomorrow I shall smile, I shall blow soft kisses and maybe poison someone's coffee.
Tomorrow!!
I tell myself that tomorrow morning I shan't feel sullen, that I will fling aside these warm trappings of blue cozy confines and stride on towards the incoming Wednesday with a shameless guile, an underhanded smile, smirking in the face of tomorrow to come, striking down its smug frigidness with my crafty confidence and ride on through with a battle like fervour.
I will subjugate my everyday morning coerced rituals with a willingness unwitnessed, unparalleled, unassuming even and vanquish the crankiness of waking up early, a mood that lingers on me like a clingy shadow.
Tomorrow I shall smile, I shall blow soft kisses and maybe poison someone's coffee.
Tomorrow!!
Tuesday, 12 January 2021
Reality checks
I'm a 26% body fat not 28% as I'd previously mentioned.
This is something that got confirmed to me by a physiotherapist/trainer friend at the gym and I don't know how I feel about this. A lot stupider and unhappier.
I'm still on the same path. Not changing my stance and definitely not switching up just because I do not have the extra 2% I'd imagined.
Today's workouts was a very comprehensive lower body with intense cardio and perhaps I will only stick to upper body strength because my legs are a bit sort of dead today.
Today's format was three cardio exercises mostly a lot of jumps, pop squats, lunges, single leg hops with 2 lower body strength exercises and a final burnout Pilates round. And I think I will have to asses my situation for any more intense cardio session tomorrow because I feel like I might be quite sore.
I'm kinda upset that I do not have the extra 2%. I was so sure. How could I be so wrong?
This is something that got confirmed to me by a physiotherapist/trainer friend at the gym and I don't know how I feel about this. A lot stupider and unhappier.
I'm still on the same path. Not changing my stance and definitely not switching up just because I do not have the extra 2% I'd imagined.
Today's workouts was a very comprehensive lower body with intense cardio and perhaps I will only stick to upper body strength because my legs are a bit sort of dead today.
Today's format was three cardio exercises mostly a lot of jumps, pop squats, lunges, single leg hops with 2 lower body strength exercises and a final burnout Pilates round. And I think I will have to asses my situation for any more intense cardio session tomorrow because I feel like I might be quite sore.
I'm kinda upset that I do not have the extra 2%. I was so sure. How could I be so wrong?
Phew!!
I have accomplished something of a feat today, viz., copying all the pictures of recipes for the book into my hard drive and this was the easy part.
I cannot begin to imagine what the editing process will be like, but there are almost 2 dozen recipes that need a do-over because looks like I've written the recipe in my diary but not made it and clicked it, Yes, it happens because of some reasoning I might have given myself which I cannot remember anymore.
I think next week I will start with the recipes that need that do-over.
I think I need some tea.
--
I mean all this work and now I gotta cook dinner. Seriously!! This isn't right.
Visuals
At the supermarket looking for a particular rice noodle and wondering what's with all the duck hangings .
This is no place for vegetarians.
few tings
A gorgeous day to wake and not give a fuck!
Today deserves absolutely no attention and I am not going to give it any.
No reason except that it's Tuesday and I'm being hateful for the simple reason that I find myself pining.
What does today have for me?
Lots of work.
I'm still copying pictures from the camera and there's a whole lot of editing work.
I think next week I will start with clicking pictures at least for the blog.
Let's see what we shall make.
This is the longest I've gone with no posts on the blog and on the writing blog. I feel horrible about it.
I have to start compartmentalizing my time better and stop procrastinating..a vice I sometimes find myself in cahoots with.
there will be more. soon.
Monday, 11 January 2021
Stuff
According to my watch I have walked 10 kms which isn't a possibility since I've not stepped out of the house, unless it's counting all the steps I took during workout because it was an intense hour long sweaty cardio with lots of jumps, kicks, steps to one side and then another and what not.
Could this be?
Tomorrow I'm doing a cardio + lower body and let's see if it accounts for those steps then.
I shall update
—
also, Thai curry plan was canned because 'smabhar' had not been had for a while and so I made it because what am I if not in love with that soupy deliciousness.
—
Right! So I didn't post this post and now that I've dined I'm posting it.
Could this be?
Tomorrow I'm doing a cardio + lower body and let's see if it accounts for those steps then.
I shall update
—
also, Thai curry plan was canned because 'smabhar' had not been had for a while and so I made it because what am I if not in love with that soupy deliciousness.
—
Right! So I didn't post this post and now that I've dined I'm posting it.
Oh yum!
Lunch is leftover southern spiced fried rice which I have mixed with some sausages and eggs with a side of blueberry, red dragon fruit and oranges with some yogurt in a smoothie.
Ode
My torrid blue duvet cave, burning to a blister this frigid hearted Monday pretended to be a womb where I stayed enclasped under its searing cotton walls scented lightly with lime fabric softener cradling my wanton thoughts like a firewall, letting me searingly cremate in my everyday lewd morning memories under thick reassurance of safe warmth.
Dream Catchers
Oh darling! Have I dream to tell you.
We've met at a hotel, a somewhat golden yellow ochre toned hotel for our tryst, smiling and bubbling with lusty energy, barely able to hold each other back, leaning in for the first kiss before I smoke the usual 'j' when a loud noise breaks our reverie. Someone is banging on our door.
It's a hysterical foreigner, almost tears in her eyes, telling us that it's a sham, this hotel. That the online payments that have been made are not to this hotel management but some conman and now the hotel management wants to throw us out.
We are left in utter confusion, because everything seemed fine as we walked in. How could this be?
The lady, teary eyed and upset is packing to leave.
We spot another couple in their bathing suits. Probably out of the pool with a pool noodle in tow and we ask them about this situation.
The couple is as unbothered as humanly possible and tell us that even though it's true they are not going to stop with their fun unless the hotel actually ousts them and they shut the door on our faces.
We march back to our room. Still confused.
You're looking at a handbag on the couch which clearly isn't mine.
It's a military fatigue sort of a thing with an umbrella inside and we look at each other questioningly, wondering if this was left behind by a previous tenant.
Of course this entire situation has rained on our mood and we are still contemplating as to whether or not we should continue our kiss and get on with our delicious plan the door is brushed open and room service trolley is pushed inwards.
There are about half a dozen people ready to start cleaning the room and they tell us most rudely to get out of the room.
This of course doesn't go down well with either of us and there are raised voices, arguments, shouts and angry complaints, whereupon you produce the receipt which is a print out of the online transaction and the room service people ignore it laughingly saying it means nothing.
We are visibly aggravated but decide to continue our day in another hotel and seething as we are we leave.
On the way looking for another place we come upon a sweet lady whose charity we'd made a donation to earlier that day and she gives us a card for another hotel which is a few minutes away.
We reach the hotel and it has spiralling stairs leading to the reception.
Funnily the stairs go through an open zoo and there are pigs and goats running amuck as we wade through them to the make it to the reception desk and the stairs just won't end.
A small dog has started following us as we continually kept descending.
We can see the reception desk but there's no end of stairs..
I don't know whether we make it to the end but the dream had me so spooked that I opened my eyes to realise al was fine.. that I was still in bed surrounded by my cats and toasty warm.
Phew!!
We've met at a hotel, a somewhat golden yellow ochre toned hotel for our tryst, smiling and bubbling with lusty energy, barely able to hold each other back, leaning in for the first kiss before I smoke the usual 'j' when a loud noise breaks our reverie. Someone is banging on our door.
It's a hysterical foreigner, almost tears in her eyes, telling us that it's a sham, this hotel. That the online payments that have been made are not to this hotel management but some conman and now the hotel management wants to throw us out.
We are left in utter confusion, because everything seemed fine as we walked in. How could this be?
The lady, teary eyed and upset is packing to leave.
We spot another couple in their bathing suits. Probably out of the pool with a pool noodle in tow and we ask them about this situation.
The couple is as unbothered as humanly possible and tell us that even though it's true they are not going to stop with their fun unless the hotel actually ousts them and they shut the door on our faces.
We march back to our room. Still confused.
You're looking at a handbag on the couch which clearly isn't mine.
It's a military fatigue sort of a thing with an umbrella inside and we look at each other questioningly, wondering if this was left behind by a previous tenant.
Of course this entire situation has rained on our mood and we are still contemplating as to whether or not we should continue our kiss and get on with our delicious plan the door is brushed open and room service trolley is pushed inwards.
There are about half a dozen people ready to start cleaning the room and they tell us most rudely to get out of the room.
This of course doesn't go down well with either of us and there are raised voices, arguments, shouts and angry complaints, whereupon you produce the receipt which is a print out of the online transaction and the room service people ignore it laughingly saying it means nothing.
We are visibly aggravated but decide to continue our day in another hotel and seething as we are we leave.
On the way looking for another place we come upon a sweet lady whose charity we'd made a donation to earlier that day and she gives us a card for another hotel which is a few minutes away.
We reach the hotel and it has spiralling stairs leading to the reception.
Funnily the stairs go through an open zoo and there are pigs and goats running amuck as we wade through them to the make it to the reception desk and the stairs just won't end.
A small dog has started following us as we continually kept descending.
We can see the reception desk but there's no end of stairs..
I don't know whether we make it to the end but the dream had me so spooked that I opened my eyes to realise al was fine.. that I was still in bed surrounded by my cats and toasty warm.
Phew!!
