Out and about. And you?
Saturday, 30 November 2019
The day has it
I don't know why this morning I was under the impression that a nice languorous walk might be a good idea because something within me didn't stir to push me out and now it's raining.
Cold blustery day and rains to cap it all.
Isn't life just so beautiful.
Watching peaky blinders and I feel triggered. It makes me crave a nicotine fix even though I know I won't ever fall for that addiction ever again because I've crossed over to a point where the smell and taste of tobacco makes me feel almost nauseous, but when I watch the cast of this series sucking on their smokes, it makes me want to light up one too.
But no way am I going to smoke tobacco again.
Not in this life.
Cold blustery day and rains to cap it all.
Isn't life just so beautiful.
Watching peaky blinders and I feel triggered. It makes me crave a nicotine fix even though I know I won't ever fall for that addiction ever again because I've crossed over to a point where the smell and taste of tobacco makes me feel almost nauseous, but when I watch the cast of this series sucking on their smokes, it makes me want to light up one too.
But no way am I going to smoke tobacco again.
Not in this life.
So yes
Screw everything in this world.
I'm listening to some deep house on low volume while watching Peaky Blinder season 5 because that's is exactly what this Saturday demands .
I'm listening to some deep house on low volume while watching Peaky Blinder season 5 because that's is exactly what this Saturday demands .
Lunch love
Leftover pita with some chicken, olives and veg on a bed of yogurt and Tabasco sauce spruced with mint. Some days need sustenance in a way only carbs can provide. 
Morning things
I don't know how I should feel about receiving an email from my bank regarding my birthday, telling me to get set jet for it.
Okay jetting seems great, seeing how I dreamt I was sitting in a car going full speed around a mountain as I glimpsed at a very white and red looking Spain while being accompanied with an elderly person I'm merely acquainted with.
Today then. A Saturday which I'm going to be spending alone with my cats till lunchtime after which I don't know what I will do.
Maybe I'll go out for a walk and just spend some time outside after lunch, if I'm alone that is .
So, no workout and no badminton today and maybe I just want to laze around and spend some quality time doing nothing.
What about lunch?
I'm thinking I have a leftover pita bread, maybe I'll stir fry some chicken and add some veggies and make a sort of gyros.
What else then? Nothing really except I wake up feeling odd feels and needy and extremely hot in places and damn it I suffer through it all alone.
Okay jetting seems great, seeing how I dreamt I was sitting in a car going full speed around a mountain as I glimpsed at a very white and red looking Spain while being accompanied with an elderly person I'm merely acquainted with.
Today then. A Saturday which I'm going to be spending alone with my cats till lunchtime after which I don't know what I will do.
Maybe I'll go out for a walk and just spend some time outside after lunch, if I'm alone that is .
So, no workout and no badminton today and maybe I just want to laze around and spend some quality time doing nothing.
What about lunch?
I'm thinking I have a leftover pita bread, maybe I'll stir fry some chicken and add some veggies and make a sort of gyros.
What else then? Nothing really except I wake up feeling odd feels and needy and extremely hot in places and damn it I suffer through it all alone.
Friday, 29 November 2019
About ze dinner
Dinner tonight is full on middle eastern affair and I've been tied to the stove for a few hours now.
Let's see, there's homemade pita, falafel, avocado salad, roasted potatoes, tatziki, stir fried vegetables and a whole lot of patience.
Phew I say.
Let's see, there's homemade pita, falafel, avocado salad, roasted potatoes, tatziki, stir fried vegetables and a whole lot of patience.
Phew I say.
time tales and listens
Hello darling afternoon
are you here inflicting your horrible perseverance
is there anything I have fallen short of?
no chore left on the task list
and how is it that I have time
to pursue my small needs
of binge-watching and reading
while listening to heartbeats on a loudspeaker
are you here inflicting your horrible perseverance
is there anything I have fallen short of?
no chore left on the task list
and how is it that I have time
to pursue my small needs
of binge-watching and reading
while listening to heartbeats on a loudspeaker
Hush coffee
Sometimes I can be too lazy and not bother with even turning on the machine or the hob for mokapot or bringing out my cafellissimo and for such moments this is such a lifesaver. 
Lunch deal
Tom yum chicken soup with rice noodles for lunch, made most non authentically but tastes delicious still because it's spicy, it's citric with lemongrass, galangal and loads of umami. 
Just the winter cleanse I needed.
On snippets
What do I say about the hauntingly interesting excerpt except that it was so incredibly fun and so completely you.
So it's a city far flung in future with dystopian overtones and demonic villains.
I mean what else can one ask for?
I'd love to know more.
Do tell.
:)
So it's a city far flung in future with dystopian overtones and demonic villains.
I mean what else can one ask for?
I'd love to know more.
Do tell.
:)
Morning reflections
The elixir that is my daily dose of warm lemon water has me invigorated and almost forgetful of the fact that I woke a bit after 8 in the am.
Yes sir, I slept in and didn't wake up to fix lunch and make breakfast and this is the second time this week that it's happened.
I mean I kept telling myself that I will wake up but I just didn't and I know it's lazy, extremely lazy but sometimes I can be lazy and I don't have in me the will to throw my covers at six and proceed straight to the kitchen .
It's just..I'm trying to get there, to become a morning person, to get inspired by my hardworking neighbour who always leaves her house at 4:30 am to work out and then again an hour later to walk her dogs, and each time I resolve to be awake early the next day but somehow the passion for seeing mornings with such exuberance eludes me.
I mean I want to get better at this because it really stretches my day and gives me a lot of time to get done with a hundred other things but those few delicious moments of sweet serenity under volcanic covers of safety and warmth trump all such intelligent foresight.
Sighs.
Yes sir, I slept in and didn't wake up to fix lunch and make breakfast and this is the second time this week that it's happened.
I mean I kept telling myself that I will wake up but I just didn't and I know it's lazy, extremely lazy but sometimes I can be lazy and I don't have in me the will to throw my covers at six and proceed straight to the kitchen .
It's just..I'm trying to get there, to become a morning person, to get inspired by my hardworking neighbour who always leaves her house at 4:30 am to work out and then again an hour later to walk her dogs, and each time I resolve to be awake early the next day but somehow the passion for seeing mornings with such exuberance eludes me.
I mean I want to get better at this because it really stretches my day and gives me a lot of time to get done with a hundred other things but those few delicious moments of sweet serenity under volcanic covers of safety and warmth trump all such intelligent foresight.
Sighs.
Thursday, 28 November 2019
Nightmiss
Nighttime and I draw a blank
the day has me dead
the night has me cold
My bed is a repository of half hearted promises
I stay awake momentarily
before sleeping in the dent
I have made
on my bored mattress
that lets me sink
until I find myself scrambling towards you
in rainbow fields
of white screens scratched with words
which written in desolation spells love
the day has me dead
the night has me cold
My bed is a repository of half hearted promises
I stay awake momentarily
before sleeping in the dent
I have made
on my bored mattress
that lets me sink
until I find myself scrambling towards you
in rainbow fields
of white screens scratched with words
which written in desolation spells love
Movie viewing
Cold pursuit is such a good movie.
Probably I like it a lot more for my penchant for gravitating towards revenge movies but the simplicity of the movie along with the characters especially the evil villain has been done well and i like the no nonsense no fucks given approach.
Yes it's a good movie indeed.
Probably I like it a lot more for my penchant for gravitating towards revenge movies but the simplicity of the movie along with the characters especially the evil villain has been done well and i like the no nonsense no fucks given approach.
Yes it's a good movie indeed.
Everything and all
Looks like my earlier posts with the pictures didn't make it through.
Don't know what a girl has to do to post pics to her blog in this day and age of technology when we are fucking with planets I can't as much as write a goddamn blog!!
Okay.
So today was spent at a flower market.
It was a bit of a fantastic experience because it seems like Christmas is in full swing of things and it's not a festival as such here but I think because of its universal appeal Christmas is celebrated by many people.
I got a few wreaths made for a couple friends who I know would be happy to receive them seeing that they do celebrate Christmas.
It was a cold day, the kind that makes you question your choice of cotton trousers and converse shoes when boots and denims should have been the outfit of the day.
Well, what can you do? At least my jacket was a thick layers of five toasty warmth's and for that I'm glad cuz my heart kept ticking.
This quaint flower area was peculiar because it housed not just fifty foot tall Christmas trees and there were a couple dozen shops selling them but there were also some artisanal pottery and aroma shops that made niche handcrafted ceramics and earthenwares and dealt with absolutely amazing scents.
I was on the lookout for a salt pig but instead bought a few dresses for my cat and some candles for the winter month along with unique scents to fill my room with diffusers .
It was unbelievable the sorts of candles and scent infusions I saw .
They were absolutely bizarre and amazingly delicious.
From the scent of freshly drying clothes in the alps to freshly chopped winter wood by the river to oud and frankincense, they had some fabulous speciality candles and there was one which was called green tea and vanilla and can I just say it had the most luxuriously intoxicating breath of mellowed vanilla that had somehow made into the realms of green tea on a crystal chariot and I had to buy one, in fact I bought two along with a coconut lime diffuser which I didn't think could be anything special but by the heavens if special wore a bow tie and strutted on a catwalk wearing the most atrociously amazing designer clothes then that diffuser scent had to be it.
I mean it smelled like I was sitting in a warm quilt by a toasty fireplace, drinking pina colada from a diamond encrusted gold cup while a freshly squeezed lemon danced near my cheeks.
How does one resist that? I mean one might but I can't and couldn't.
That wasn't all, there was much more I bought and most were bakery and kitchen items which I could write at length about, but now it's dinner time and I gotta rush.
Don't know what a girl has to do to post pics to her blog in this day and age of technology when we are fucking with planets I can't as much as write a goddamn blog!!
Okay.
So today was spent at a flower market.
It was a bit of a fantastic experience because it seems like Christmas is in full swing of things and it's not a festival as such here but I think because of its universal appeal Christmas is celebrated by many people.
I got a few wreaths made for a couple friends who I know would be happy to receive them seeing that they do celebrate Christmas.
It was a cold day, the kind that makes you question your choice of cotton trousers and converse shoes when boots and denims should have been the outfit of the day.
Well, what can you do? At least my jacket was a thick layers of five toasty warmth's and for that I'm glad cuz my heart kept ticking.
This quaint flower area was peculiar because it housed not just fifty foot tall Christmas trees and there were a couple dozen shops selling them but there were also some artisanal pottery and aroma shops that made niche handcrafted ceramics and earthenwares and dealt with absolutely amazing scents.
I was on the lookout for a salt pig but instead bought a few dresses for my cat and some candles for the winter month along with unique scents to fill my room with diffusers .
It was unbelievable the sorts of candles and scent infusions I saw .
They were absolutely bizarre and amazingly delicious.
From the scent of freshly drying clothes in the alps to freshly chopped winter wood by the river to oud and frankincense, they had some fabulous speciality candles and there was one which was called green tea and vanilla and can I just say it had the most luxuriously intoxicating breath of mellowed vanilla that had somehow made into the realms of green tea on a crystal chariot and I had to buy one, in fact I bought two along with a coconut lime diffuser which I didn't think could be anything special but by the heavens if special wore a bow tie and strutted on a catwalk wearing the most atrociously amazing designer clothes then that diffuser scent had to be it.
I mean it smelled like I was sitting in a warm quilt by a toasty fireplace, drinking pina colada from a diamond encrusted gold cup while a freshly squeezed lemon danced near my cheeks.
How does one resist that? I mean one might but I can't and couldn't.
That wasn't all, there was much more I bought and most were bakery and kitchen items which I could write at length about, but now it's dinner time and I gotta rush.
Wednesday, 27 November 2019
Disproportionate
It's cold, of course and it's wet!!
Probably the worst god made weather combo which reeks of misery and heartbreak.
I mean it's like eating sugar with honey. Either would work alone on their own, but no!
There is no balance. It's a shabbily created mood which probably might stir the aches and pangs of skeletal poets but it does nothing to me, simply because it lacks a certain balance.
The greys and the wet are no good if it's cold as well. You gotta get one thing out of the equation.
How about a sepia toned afternoon with glowing skies muted in their form with a beige colored aura along with the cool of this weather?
Now that is a heartache .
Probably the worst god made weather combo which reeks of misery and heartbreak.
I mean it's like eating sugar with honey. Either would work alone on their own, but no!
There is no balance. It's a shabbily created mood which probably might stir the aches and pangs of skeletal poets but it does nothing to me, simply because it lacks a certain balance.
The greys and the wet are no good if it's cold as well. You gotta get one thing out of the equation.
How about a sepia toned afternoon with glowing skies muted in their form with a beige colored aura along with the cool of this weather?
Now that is a heartache .
Before it starts
Before anything let me just tell you that tomorrow will be one of its kind as well because most of the day I will be out of the house.
This week hasn't been in great in terms of locking myself up indoors, something I desperately need to do if I want to get back in the business of life and tomorrow shall pass similarly too because tomorrow is probably the last check up for my cat after which she is free of any hassles.
The little girl has recuperated well and all her bandages are coming off tomorrow.
After this short stint at the vet, I have to be out and about regarding some work which isn't really work as such but important still.
I will come back home late and by then there will be nothing to do except sleep.
Sighs!
Alrighty then .
This week hasn't been in great in terms of locking myself up indoors, something I desperately need to do if I want to get back in the business of life and tomorrow shall pass similarly too because tomorrow is probably the last check up for my cat after which she is free of any hassles.
The little girl has recuperated well and all her bandages are coming off tomorrow.
After this short stint at the vet, I have to be out and about regarding some work which isn't really work as such but important still.
I will come back home late and by then there will be nothing to do except sleep.
Sighs!
Alrighty then .
Today is a day
Say one thing about today say that I'm almost done with exhaustion and dinner on the horizon doesn't look like it will be something conventional.
I'm thinking sandwich and some salad with a side of olives and such because goddamit I'm dead today .
No really, I have had a day and a half since morning and by the gods my study room is one cold zone, I think it's time to start firing up the air conditioner and warm up my place and what not.
Right then, onwards with some YouTube and content consumption.
I'm thinking sandwich and some salad with a side of olives and such because goddamit I'm dead today .
No really, I have had a day and a half since morning and by the gods my study room is one cold zone, I think it's time to start firing up the air conditioner and warm up my place and what not.
Right then, onwards with some YouTube and content consumption.
muzak
For when I want to tell you how I feel right now.
Maybe we have had enough transactions of this song but even so right from the unsettling sexy mood to the ridiculously hot opening theme and the name itself..this song is such a mood.
Meal now
Who me?
Making kimchi chicken fried rice, because I seem to have a shit load of both these ingredients in my fridge .
I might have gone a bit overboard on the meat this week. The buying not the eating because what am I if not patron saint of moderation?
Making kimchi chicken fried rice, because I seem to have a shit load of both these ingredients in my fridge .
I might have gone a bit overboard on the meat this week. The buying not the eating because what am I if not patron saint of moderation?
Tuesday, 26 November 2019
Nighthearts
Nights, for when the ceiling turns into a giant screen displaying your image as I close my eyes. Quietly broadcasting the coppery tones of your honeyed voice, conveyed stealthily in digital surround which resonates through my being, slowly traversing into the nerve endings to explode in indescribable phenomenon through a channel of veins, sloughing the underside of my body to render the redolence of your skin as it lay unclothed on top of mine.
Links
And then darling, I often think of the reality and how absolutely uncouth and in shambles it appears when I contrast it to our twin fantasy.
Intergalactic
The stars come calling tonight
to haul me from the bottom
of the microcosm
I stay tethered
dangling by a luminary rope
celestially boring in comparison
to the astronomical heartbeats I often feel
to haul me from the bottom
of the microcosm
I stay tethered
dangling by a luminary rope
celestially boring in comparison
to the astronomical heartbeats I often feel
susurrate
Sometimes in stillness, in silence, in secrecy
I try to replicate the sounds
we learnt to emit together
I try to replicate the sounds
we learnt to emit together
?
A mysterious package sits in the bedroom trying its best to stay hidden, but little does it know that this is my house and it's a large packet with a pink bow on top which makes me realize that it's my birthday gift that has been bought and stowed away at the back of an almirah.
That's a great strategy except now I know that there is something behind the stack of towels and now I can't stop wondering what it is.
I have held it, lifted it, sniffed it and wondered what it might be?
Is it a bag?
But it doesn't feel large enough.
Is it a watch?
But I've had enough watches this year.
Is it a perfume?
Can't be, cuz that just won't count as a gift.
Is it jewelry?
Out of question. I mean I hope.
Well what is it?
That's a great strategy except now I know that there is something behind the stack of towels and now I can't stop wondering what it is.
I have held it, lifted it, sniffed it and wondered what it might be?
Is it a bag?
But it doesn't feel large enough.
Is it a watch?
But I've had enough watches this year.
Is it a perfume?
Can't be, cuz that just won't count as a gift.
Is it jewelry?
Out of question. I mean I hope.
Well what is it?
Stupidity is mine
Today I bought a 1 kilo packet of kettle chips and I feel so damn awful and yet happy for having done it because of my silly addiction to potato chips and my guilt at eating them .
What on earth am I going to do with 1 kilo of sodium filled crispy kettle cooked chips apart from eating them?
God, I'm gonna eat it all this weekend and I don't want to and yet I want to.
I am so stupid for having bought it man!
What on earth am I going to do with 1 kilo of sodium filled crispy kettle cooked chips apart from eating them?
God, I'm gonna eat it all this weekend and I don't want to and yet I want to.
I am so stupid for having bought it man!
Door life baby
I have a tendency to look extremely interested in a conversation I have absolutely no interest in just so I don't offend the person talking because clearly they need someone to listen and I am usually the chosen one, not least because I usually have some inputs and I don't mind listening to someone talk about things they want to and so I listen in rapt attention but today, wow, today took the cake.
I heard a very long ramble from my friend about her beliefs that doors, especially ones that are pretty old and have been a part of a family for long have feelings and that they understand things.
Doors! Yeah doors. I mean okay.
But what?
She went on to elaborate and how there is some Japanese festival related to doors and such and how they know what a person feels.
So yes, doors.
And I listened to the whole thing, nodding every now and then, smiling and laughing and looking totally amazed when I was bewildered in the oddest of ways .
I mean doors!
Come on.
I heard a very long ramble from my friend about her beliefs that doors, especially ones that are pretty old and have been a part of a family for long have feelings and that they understand things.
Doors! Yeah doors. I mean okay.
But what?
She went on to elaborate and how there is some Japanese festival related to doors and such and how they know what a person feels.
So yes, doors.
And I listened to the whole thing, nodding every now and then, smiling and laughing and looking totally amazed when I was bewildered in the oddest of ways .
I mean doors!
Come on.
Tuesday tittle
Today!
Ah a perfect example of a typical Tuesday.
One moment I was making eggs after my workout, looking forward to spending some quality time with my machine and the other I was rushing out of the house with a friend for some urgent work from which I have just extricated myself and now I sit in the living room, drawing in a deep breath and planning for dinner which I'm in absolutely no mood to make, because I feel a bit disconnected from everything after this whirlwind day and need a moment to myself, which is exactly what I probably won't get.
Right!
Today!
Damn it today.
Ah a perfect example of a typical Tuesday.
One moment I was making eggs after my workout, looking forward to spending some quality time with my machine and the other I was rushing out of the house with a friend for some urgent work from which I have just extricated myself and now I sit in the living room, drawing in a deep breath and planning for dinner which I'm in absolutely no mood to make, because I feel a bit disconnected from everything after this whirlwind day and need a moment to myself, which is exactly what I probably won't get.
Right!
Today!
Damn it today.
Monday, 25 November 2019
What I saw
I saw a woman making tic toc video of her little dog at the vet
as he got anally probed to check his temperature
and then got a couple injections
which he didn't like and he yelped for help and assurance which the nurses immediately supplied
But the owner didn't let go
of her phone and soon uploaded a video
with twenty tearful emoji's
as he got anally probed to check his temperature
and then got a couple injections
which he didn't like and he yelped for help and assurance which the nurses immediately supplied
But the owner didn't let go
of her phone and soon uploaded a video
with twenty tearful emoji's
Nightlust
Hello darling
I make imaginary phone calls
to your number
And we talk about things
except we don't
because we are horny
I make imaginary phone calls
to your number
And we talk about things
except we don't
because we are horny
Catatonic
Nighttime and the cats are at it
they have slept all day
and now they must play
all over the house they jump
scramble and run,
their tiny feet thumping the floor
like soft rhythms of a small drum
and I try to pull up my covers
hoping to get some zzz's
come now darlings
let's all get some sleep
they have slept all day
and now they must play
all over the house they jump
scramble and run,
their tiny feet thumping the floor
like soft rhythms of a small drum
and I try to pull up my covers
hoping to get some zzz's
come now darlings
let's all get some sleep
¡
Unraveling in the middle of the night
coming undone on my bed
unglued like a picture on the wall
that won't stick back anymore
no matter the super glue
or the double sided tape
it keeps falling off
coming undone on my bed
unglued like a picture on the wall
that won't stick back anymore
no matter the super glue
or the double sided tape
it keeps falling off
What mine is yours
The thing about cultural exchange is that they're awesome when done with food .
A friend has just sent me a big pot of homemade kimchi and how is it that I was making some black eyed peas curry for her?
So here I am eating kimchi and she eats lobhiya chawal.
A friend has just sent me a big pot of homemade kimchi and how is it that I was making some black eyed peas curry for her?
So here I am eating kimchi and she eats lobhiya chawal.
Shit trend
Belts with saree's??
But why??
Why this new ghastly trend of putting something where it just doesn't belong?
It is absolutely idiotic!!
But why??
Why this new ghastly trend of putting something where it just doesn't belong?
It is absolutely idiotic!!
hisses
would you smite me
with a jolt of shock
that comes even though
I expect it fully
to make me gasp
with a jolt of shock
that comes even though
I expect it fully
to make me gasp
some more of nothing
The weather has suddenly dropped over 10º in one night and where I was roaming around in a tee last night I've had to don a sweater and fish out a couple of my winter friendly gears which though odd to look at are extremely cosy, and seeing how the weather is only going to get worse from now it's best to stay in control of the situation.
There is a foot warmer I have in my possession and it looks like a small furry cushion with a large pocket and what it really is, is exactly that. I can put my feet inside it while I work because in these winters it's always my feet and the tip of my nose that feel the maximum torture and I've been waiting to bust it out this season and perhaps in a couple days I will have to.
There are a couple shoes which I need to get dry cleaned and I keep procrastinating this small task.
A small mountain of clothes that have just gotten ironed and stacked in wardrobes and now I grope my way back to my workplace and get down to business, but before all of that, I need some music. Something depressing, something sexy, something that competes with today's bleak weather.
All the things I gotta do
Waking up late because who wants to crawl out from under the duvet to do chores and so I didn't follow up with the usual routine, not least because the weekend still clung to me and kept me from harnessing my innate self discipline, which can sometimes abandon me without a warning.
I woke up late and the usual time when I start my work out I was actually making tea and so today I'm not exercising, instead going straight to work after a shower.
Today includes making a list of things that need be done.
I'm going to get back to food blogging and clicking pictures of recipes and get it all back on track.
This week is when it all begins and stops only when it all ends.
I woke up late and the usual time when I start my work out I was actually making tea and so today I'm not exercising, instead going straight to work after a shower.
Today includes making a list of things that need be done.
I'm going to get back to food blogging and clicking pictures of recipes and get it all back on track.
This week is when it all begins and stops only when it all ends.
Recession
This morning, a disconsolate tapestry of dejected will and morose speculations which in its foreboding outlook clings like an oil slick, making it near impossible to stay determined to do anything this Monday.
Sunday, 24 November 2019
Something new
Each month is a time for a new phase and these days every morning with background sounds of santoor and sitar I have taken to listening Dr. BM Hegde and his alternate view points on almost every medicine science that we have grown up believing.
He is a Padma Bhushan cardiologist who talks about cholesterol being good for you and reversing diabetes without medication.
A lot of his theories, controversial as they are somehow resonate with me because I have personally experienced the positive effects that some non conventional medicines had on me during my time of an almost year long illness which modern medicine was unable to cure and so I'm just trying to get some answers to questions and it's interesting to know and learn some alternative to the usual beliefs, doesn't matter if they're right or wrong.
It's new and interesting and I'm all in.
He is a Padma Bhushan cardiologist who talks about cholesterol being good for you and reversing diabetes without medication.
A lot of his theories, controversial as they are somehow resonate with me because I have personally experienced the positive effects that some non conventional medicines had on me during my time of an almost year long illness which modern medicine was unable to cure and so I'm just trying to get some answers to questions and it's interesting to know and learn some alternative to the usual beliefs, doesn't matter if they're right or wrong.
It's new and interesting and I'm all in.
Saturday, 23 November 2019
Dear lord
I was just sent a photo of me inhaling laughing gas and I wonder about all the life decisions and my collection of friends who find such photos to send me .
But seriously why was I doing it?
Oh yeah, to get high.
Wtf even.
But seriously why was I doing it?
Oh yeah, to get high.
Wtf even.
Friday, 22 November 2019
walks and such and some fun
Hallo Friday!
If I seem to be in a good mood then it's only on account of extreme amounts of caffeine in my system.
Today was a typical day around town, something of an excursion which started with traditional Northern flavoured bowl of noodles followed by a languorous walk around the area which involved me popping into various shops and checking out things, which is always so much fun.
It's only during such adventures that one comes across various speciality stores.
Case in point a shop dedicated to only selling imported food items nearing their expiration dates being sold at fraction of a price. I mean hahaha. what on earth?
Imagine finding a very expensive box of speciality chocolates which apart from being costly are also rare and lo here they are at 1/5th the price and three months away from expiration!
What do you do? Of course, you buy them because they will be eaten within the next couple weeks, ditto for a very high-quality organic dishwashing liquid which I don't come across too often of which I now possess five bottles because who the hell really cares of dishwashing liquid's expiration date. Organic or not?
I found it for 10 RMB a bottle when one usually comes for about 60.
Another shop which smelled of extremely potent alcohol beckoned. It housed large earthen pots with taps and upon inquiry, I was informed that it is locally made wine and well I ended up with a small bottle of it. Absolutely delicious I tell you. So much better than the local wines sold in expensive bottles.
Alright, the walking excursion then had me needing some coffee, but I wasn't in the sort of area which housed coffee shops since I was traversing the more traditional area of this city and that included lots of small speciality shops and stores and soon there was a lovely Taiwanese tea store where I had the most insanely delicious Green tea with grass jelly and brown sugar and by the heavens, one wasn't enough so I had another.
On way back home I bought vegetables and met a friend who insisted I go to her house for coffee and well, I was already two tea's down but she wouldn't have no for an answer and then, well, then I had a cup of the strongest coffee in town which now has me twitching.
So, my day has been eventful, only because I didn't feel like staying home after a shower and wanted to go on a very long walk.
The walk was indeed too long but not without its share of a lot of fun.
If I seem to be in a good mood then it's only on account of extreme amounts of caffeine in my system.
Today was a typical day around town, something of an excursion which started with traditional Northern flavoured bowl of noodles followed by a languorous walk around the area which involved me popping into various shops and checking out things, which is always so much fun.
It's only during such adventures that one comes across various speciality stores.
Case in point a shop dedicated to only selling imported food items nearing their expiration dates being sold at fraction of a price. I mean hahaha. what on earth?
Imagine finding a very expensive box of speciality chocolates which apart from being costly are also rare and lo here they are at 1/5th the price and three months away from expiration!
What do you do? Of course, you buy them because they will be eaten within the next couple weeks, ditto for a very high-quality organic dishwashing liquid which I don't come across too often of which I now possess five bottles because who the hell really cares of dishwashing liquid's expiration date. Organic or not?
I found it for 10 RMB a bottle when one usually comes for about 60.
Another shop which smelled of extremely potent alcohol beckoned. It housed large earthen pots with taps and upon inquiry, I was informed that it is locally made wine and well I ended up with a small bottle of it. Absolutely delicious I tell you. So much better than the local wines sold in expensive bottles.
Alright, the walking excursion then had me needing some coffee, but I wasn't in the sort of area which housed coffee shops since I was traversing the more traditional area of this city and that included lots of small speciality shops and stores and soon there was a lovely Taiwanese tea store where I had the most insanely delicious Green tea with grass jelly and brown sugar and by the heavens, one wasn't enough so I had another.
On way back home I bought vegetables and met a friend who insisted I go to her house for coffee and well, I was already two tea's down but she wouldn't have no for an answer and then, well, then I had a cup of the strongest coffee in town which now has me twitching.
So, my day has been eventful, only because I didn't feel like staying home after a shower and wanted to go on a very long walk.
The walk was indeed too long but not without its share of a lot of fun.
Morning news
The moment I opened my eyes I knew there won't be any workout today because of how my arms smarted to the touch.
The entire length of my arms beginning from the shoulders to the tip of my fingers felt sore, and to think I had planned on kicking and punching a sandbag today! And neither am I exercising my lower body again, because my lord this was done yesterday, and so the only thing I shall indulge in is yoga and that means I have a deliciously languorous hour to myself in which I shall treat me to a large cup of tea and maybe even a biscuit because it's the weekend and a small coconut biscuit wouldn't hurt.
Now I'm wondering if I should I make some rusks?
—-
It's cold today and the courier company next to my house opened its doors somewhere around 7:30 in the am and they were surprised to see that I was standing out with a huge box of wares to send back.
That is one issue done with and I'm glad.
The only things I will stick to shopping online are the usual things I buy which is maybe a box of Ramune or a packet of chickpeas but no way in hell am I going in for clothes again!
Ever!
Okay then! To the kitchen for tea.
The entire length of my arms beginning from the shoulders to the tip of my fingers felt sore, and to think I had planned on kicking and punching a sandbag today! And neither am I exercising my lower body again, because my lord this was done yesterday, and so the only thing I shall indulge in is yoga and that means I have a deliciously languorous hour to myself in which I shall treat me to a large cup of tea and maybe even a biscuit because it's the weekend and a small coconut biscuit wouldn't hurt.
Now I'm wondering if I should I make some rusks?
—-
It's cold today and the courier company next to my house opened its doors somewhere around 7:30 in the am and they were surprised to see that I was standing out with a huge box of wares to send back.
That is one issue done with and I'm glad.
The only things I will stick to shopping online are the usual things I buy which is maybe a box of Ramune or a packet of chickpeas but no way in hell am I going in for clothes again!
Ever!
Okay then! To the kitchen for tea.
Love miss
This morning has me waking up
To the silhouette of us
in the mirror
our little ritual
to stare at the reflection
of our visage
together
each time before we part
To the silhouette of us
in the mirror
our little ritual
to stare at the reflection
of our visage
together
each time before we part
Cat a tat a tat
Hello darling cat
are you here to chit chat?
Funny though
because chat is French for cat
and so dear cat cat
won't you sit and meow to me?
are you here to chit chat?
Funny though
because chat is French for cat
and so dear cat cat
won't you sit and meow to me?
Thursday, 21 November 2019
Okay then
Who me?
Trawling the inter webs for jewellery. Not buying just checking some designs for some nice platinum stuff, because I'm such a mood right now.
Trawling the inter webs for jewellery. Not buying just checking some designs for some nice platinum stuff, because I'm such a mood right now.
unstyle
Who me?
Trying to figure out my way through a labyrinth of questions and procedures to send back the blanket that was meant to be a woollen coat and get a refund.
For this price, I can buy two well-fitting jackets and I'd better get a refund cuz there's no way in hell I am willing to exchange it in another size of that style which sucked donkey balls.
I mean it's ridiculous and I still can't get over how nice it looked on the model whose height and stats were almost nearly similar to mine but she weighed almost 6 kgs lesser than me, but then it should look so much more like a quilt on her and it didn't, whereas on me it looked like I was rolling around in an ocean of wool.
On checking closely I see that she is wearing it on a dress, and is posing with her arms open, in the other picture she is posing sideways and it is slightly baggy on her, but I wouldn't mind were it that easy, I mean it looked freakin' sloppy on me, and yes sometimes a little looser coats and jackets for winters are desirable because we tend to layer, but honestly I could wear another human being on me and still that coat would look like it was meant for someone plus-sized because it's a horrible style.
Trying to figure out my way through a labyrinth of questions and procedures to send back the blanket that was meant to be a woollen coat and get a refund.
For this price, I can buy two well-fitting jackets and I'd better get a refund cuz there's no way in hell I am willing to exchange it in another size of that style which sucked donkey balls.
I mean it's ridiculous and I still can't get over how nice it looked on the model whose height and stats were almost nearly similar to mine but she weighed almost 6 kgs lesser than me, but then it should look so much more like a quilt on her and it didn't, whereas on me it looked like I was rolling around in an ocean of wool.
On checking closely I see that she is wearing it on a dress, and is posing with her arms open, in the other picture she is posing sideways and it is slightly baggy on her, but I wouldn't mind were it that easy, I mean it looked freakin' sloppy on me, and yes sometimes a little looser coats and jackets for winters are desirable because we tend to layer, but honestly I could wear another human being on me and still that coat would look like it was meant for someone plus-sized because it's a horrible style.
on cleansing and scents
Adding a couple drops of frankincense to floor cleaning liquid was my idea of making the house smell exotic and fresh, however, the way it has got diluted and mixed with the cleaning fluid has changed its fragrance character and now my house smells like someone has been playing Holi in it. You know that particular gulal scent? the artificial cheap kinds, yeah that exactly.
Sobs. Now I gotta light something else to rid of this scent. It never ends, this struggle, this hustle, this madness.
My house gets cleaned as I speak and today was dedicated to wiping all the leaves of my house plant which are far too many.
Next week I wipe all the books on the shelf.
Sobs. Now I gotta light something else to rid of this scent. It never ends, this struggle, this hustle, this madness.
My house gets cleaned as I speak and today was dedicated to wiping all the leaves of my house plant which are far too many.
Next week I wipe all the books on the shelf.
I hate shopping online for clothes! Goddamit!
How do people shop online for clothes and shoes?
I mean how does it happen?
To this date, I have never had a very high success rate with buying clothes online.
Almost always the fitting just doesn't happen right even though I've ordered the exact fitting I know which works for me somehow with different designs of the clothes from jackets to coats to blazers and trousers, it's the size which always gets in the way.
Case in point a woollen jacket I had ordered from a brand of which I already own a duster and so seeing a pretty woollen jacket I thought, well, why not and now even though I have the right size in front the damn thing sits on me like a blanket.
How on earth did this happen?
The style of the said jacket is a very modern oversize collared jacket which when I saw the images of looked absolutely smashing and I could barely resist the urge of clicking buy and that was my biggest mistake.
I should have learnt from my past mistakes but no!
The thing that came in the large box wasn't just atrociously large for me despite being the right size due to its style but it also looked horrible on me.
How could I have made such a huge mistake?
This isn't some fast-fashion brand, but a proper semi-luxury one and yet here I am with something I can't even bear to look at.
I will have to return and exchange for another in at least three sizes smaller and if that fails then perhaps I will have to find someone else whom it would fit better.
I am so upset it's not even funny.
No, I am angry and aghast and hating myself for this stupidity.
I mean how does it happen?
To this date, I have never had a very high success rate with buying clothes online.
Almost always the fitting just doesn't happen right even though I've ordered the exact fitting I know which works for me somehow with different designs of the clothes from jackets to coats to blazers and trousers, it's the size which always gets in the way.
Case in point a woollen jacket I had ordered from a brand of which I already own a duster and so seeing a pretty woollen jacket I thought, well, why not and now even though I have the right size in front the damn thing sits on me like a blanket.
How on earth did this happen?
The style of the said jacket is a very modern oversize collared jacket which when I saw the images of looked absolutely smashing and I could barely resist the urge of clicking buy and that was my biggest mistake.
I should have learnt from my past mistakes but no!
The thing that came in the large box wasn't just atrociously large for me despite being the right size due to its style but it also looked horrible on me.
How could I have made such a huge mistake?
This isn't some fast-fashion brand, but a proper semi-luxury one and yet here I am with something I can't even bear to look at.
I will have to return and exchange for another in at least three sizes smaller and if that fails then perhaps I will have to find someone else whom it would fit better.
I am so upset it's not even funny.
No, I am angry and aghast and hating myself for this stupidity.
liquify
Come now darling afternoon
this is hardly the way to be
I look forward to being productive
but you pull me in your soft arms
cradling my head with thoughts
of cool beds and warm embraces
of quickening breaths
and wet caresses
this is hardly the time
for such wanton moods
let's now suppress our needs
stow away animalistic visions these
in a safe cupboard
for which darling
you alone have the keys.
this is hardly the way to be
I look forward to being productive
but you pull me in your soft arms
cradling my head with thoughts
of cool beds and warm embraces
of quickening breaths
and wet caresses
this is hardly the time
for such wanton moods
let's now suppress our needs
stow away animalistic visions these
in a safe cupboard
for which darling
you alone have the keys.
Podcast sugar
And scene!
It's a Thursday today and I sit listening to an anti sugar podcast wondering why would I do this to myself?
Sugar is a drug, it starts!
It's the reason why your brains cells get destroyed which results in making you fat, the doctor goes on to say.
Alright!
So no more sugar I think, but this a reasoning mostly for people who are hardcore into junk and super processed foods which are always choke full of sodium and lots of sugar to make it extremely delicious to our palettes.
Even salty stuff that we buy outside, like my favourite chips have a lot of sugar added to make it that much more delicious .
Every flavour is turned up to max and sugar is added to balance everything which means lots of sugar.
From burgers to pizzas to literally everything we eat out of packets are sugared, but what about the few teaspoons of sugar I like in my tea and coffee everyday?
Surely I shouldn't have to stop that, but according to this podcast, not only should I stop consuming the 15gms of added sugar I eat everyday but also restrict my fruit intake.
Now that is a bit much.
I shouldn't have the four bananas and couple apples or pears I eat everyday?
Nor should I eat the dried fruits which are dates and figs, and even if I do they shouldn't be any more that a couple .
What??
Okay, now I need to stop listening to this.
It's a Thursday today and I sit listening to an anti sugar podcast wondering why would I do this to myself?
Sugar is a drug, it starts!
It's the reason why your brains cells get destroyed which results in making you fat, the doctor goes on to say.
Alright!
So no more sugar I think, but this a reasoning mostly for people who are hardcore into junk and super processed foods which are always choke full of sodium and lots of sugar to make it extremely delicious to our palettes.
Even salty stuff that we buy outside, like my favourite chips have a lot of sugar added to make it that much more delicious .
Every flavour is turned up to max and sugar is added to balance everything which means lots of sugar.
From burgers to pizzas to literally everything we eat out of packets are sugared, but what about the few teaspoons of sugar I like in my tea and coffee everyday?
Surely I shouldn't have to stop that, but according to this podcast, not only should I stop consuming the 15gms of added sugar I eat everyday but also restrict my fruit intake.
Now that is a bit much.
I shouldn't have the four bananas and couple apples or pears I eat everyday?
Nor should I eat the dried fruits which are dates and figs, and even if I do they shouldn't be any more that a couple .
What??
Okay, now I need to stop listening to this.
Wednesday, 20 November 2019
Nightlapse
This bed an orange dome
of cotton pharmacy
An island of sleep
surrounded by tiny dots
of necessities
the wants that have far exceeded
any needs I might have
for a few lifetimes
and I gawk at the stars
wanting more
perhaps a touch of molten moon
to fall in my lap
that I could then maybe
fashion into jewellery
And give it your name
of cotton pharmacy
An island of sleep
surrounded by tiny dots
of necessities
the wants that have far exceeded
any needs I might have
for a few lifetimes
and I gawk at the stars
wanting more
perhaps a touch of molten moon
to fall in my lap
that I could then maybe
fashion into jewellery
And give it your name
Nightzag
Tonight comes to me in bulbs of fairy lights ignited by the aura of a hundred suns, surrounded by tiny waves of foamy dust crinkling in the underside of sandy eyes that haven't seen days for nights.
Now looking at the moon
Listening to Alan Parson's project's 'eye in the sky' and now all I have are sighs littered all over my floor. Taking care to not trample in case they squeeze out a moan too hard..
food mood and sores
How is it that after an hour of strenuous upper body workout it's my legs and glutes that are sore?
These are the kind of odd situations I do not understand.
I mean there wasn't a single squat today but oh so many biceps curls, Arnold presses, pushups, halo's and hammer curls and yet it's not my biceps or triceps that are screaming but my thighs.
What on earth?
--
I feel like eating keema today. Mutter keema specifically and well, haha what a joke because dinners that are not by myself are vegetarian if no one is ordering out and how does one get keema into this equation?
Perhaps I can make some out of soy granules.
Sighs.
These are the kind of odd situations I do not understand.
I mean there wasn't a single squat today but oh so many biceps curls, Arnold presses, pushups, halo's and hammer curls and yet it's not my biceps or triceps that are screaming but my thighs.
What on earth?
--
I feel like eating keema today. Mutter keema specifically and well, haha what a joke because dinners that are not by myself are vegetarian if no one is ordering out and how does one get keema into this equation?
Perhaps I can make some out of soy granules.
Sighs.
muzak
It is in many ways near impossible for me to write with intention and purpose while there's music playing in the background unless it's almost inaudible and with no lyrics and has no vibe to it that makes me think back or distracts me. Preferably something like western classical, anything from Chopin to Bach playing in the distance or Indian classical.
I think these are the only two kinds that work for when I want to work and concentrate, however when I'm doing some non-important work which includes writing, say an update of my day or a general blog post here, I do love listening to some good music that adds to the mood and general aches or enthusiasm of the heart and so I have stumbled upon this fantastic synthwave mix which is just the right amount of sexy and moody.
I think these are the only two kinds that work for when I want to work and concentrate, however when I'm doing some non-important work which includes writing, say an update of my day or a general blog post here, I do love listening to some good music that adds to the mood and general aches or enthusiasm of the heart and so I have stumbled upon this fantastic synthwave mix which is just the right amount of sexy and moody.
some tings
Today has been one long gluten song and I ain't even mad.
I mean yeah yeah yeah but my lord, lunch today was almost entirely leftover subzi, dahl and 3 roti's worth atta and so I came I saw I made roti's.
The radiator is on full blow to keep my recuperating cat warm and I can't emphasize enough how deliciously warm the lounge currently feels.
It's good weather indoors whereas outside I regretted wearing moccasins when I should have ideally worn thick socks and shoes.
Alright then.
Aftermath of essence
Morning time and the air feels thick with perfume which I have faint recollections of.
A trail of residual Hermès lingers in the bedroom and that is sometimes an indicator someone else's time and mood for me.
A short moment of wakefulness in the morning in which I did the needful chores followed by a short burst of small nap and here I am sitting in the lounge, breathing in the leftover base notes of pepper and wondering about today.
Yellow and blue the weather is outside, but it changes in moments and the cold no matter how sunny it looks out, is here, to grip us by the lungs and wrench our hearts outs.
Tough luck cuz mine has been wrenched some time ago and fondled with much care and smashed to smithereens and the cycle repeats.
Wednesday and there is a list of things that needs accomplishing.
But first, some Lemon water, some tea, some exercise and then onwards and upwards with life.
A trail of residual Hermès lingers in the bedroom and that is sometimes an indicator someone else's time and mood for me.
A short moment of wakefulness in the morning in which I did the needful chores followed by a short burst of small nap and here I am sitting in the lounge, breathing in the leftover base notes of pepper and wondering about today.
Yellow and blue the weather is outside, but it changes in moments and the cold no matter how sunny it looks out, is here, to grip us by the lungs and wrench our hearts outs.
Tough luck cuz mine has been wrenched some time ago and fondled with much care and smashed to smithereens and the cycle repeats.
Wednesday and there is a list of things that needs accomplishing.
But first, some Lemon water, some tea, some exercise and then onwards and upwards with life.
Tuesday, 19 November 2019
Dreads
Post dinner pre night time makes me a bit anxious this season because of the looming prospect of washing my face and doing skincare or skipcare as it is on some days, but no matter what the care I wash my face each night before sleeping and in this weather, in this absolute cold weather, the cold washroom, the initial burst of cold water makes me not want to go through my nighttime routine at all.
Din din and no no
That time of evening when i'll soon enter the kitchen and leave after a long hour and a half and cook up a number of things for dinner and it feels like a long time since I've done a proper dinner and honestly I am in no mood to cook. It's cold and everything feels extremely cold to the touch and water is wet and bla bla.
Alright, music is some classic jazz because I need my mood to mellow.
Alright, music is some classic jazz because I need my mood to mellow.
Gotta do
Today includes lower body strength workout combined with Pilates burnout round ending with a yoga cool down, after which the kitty shall be taken to the vet, followed by a large lunch and then it's back to work.
I am going to get things done today! Yes I will.
I am going to get things done today! Yes I will.
Another day
To wake up needing and aching and unfulfilled.
to look out and know it's Tuesday
the sun and skies
take nothing away
from the grey winds
stirring within
aggrandised by the few moments
we had together
to look out and know it's Tuesday
the sun and skies
take nothing away
from the grey winds
stirring within
aggrandised by the few moments
we had together
Monday, 18 November 2019
Morning notes
Monday morning and my head slightly throbs, probably comes from waking up every twenty minutes through the night to keep your cat from jumping on sofa and such, because the little kitten is still recuperating after her spay but she's getting her spunk back on and anytime she feels like she's absolutely fine she wants to jump around and run like she doesn't have any stitches.
I have since taken to sleeping on the floor so that she doesn't keep trying to climb up and down the bed in bedroom, and the roll out mattress that I'm using is not exactly my idea of comfort because my bones feel the floor but at least it lessens the possibilities of my cat jumping on anywhere except me and right now she is keeping away from me, because she hates that I shove her inside a cage and take her to the vet to do things to her which she can't stand.
Of course!
Right then, workout isn't on the agenda because I feel like crap.
Maybe in the afternoon once I've taken my cat to her second day of antibiotic shot I will have a nap because this is day two of almost no sleep.
It's funny how I've to adjust everything according to my cat's requirements right now which I had not foreseen before her operation.
I've to keep away from my study room as well because it's my cat's favourite place to lounge around on the window sill next to my work table and it's a long jump, which means I'll have to get all my stuff out in the living room area and sit around the floor or coffee table to minimise her movements .
The last couple days I seem to have lost my appetite and it feels awful to not eat and not want to eat.
Things I hope and I know will get better, just that I've to be able to do my work and keep an eye on the kitty who is currently trying to pull at her body bandage.
I have since taken to sleeping on the floor so that she doesn't keep trying to climb up and down the bed in bedroom, and the roll out mattress that I'm using is not exactly my idea of comfort because my bones feel the floor but at least it lessens the possibilities of my cat jumping on anywhere except me and right now she is keeping away from me, because she hates that I shove her inside a cage and take her to the vet to do things to her which she can't stand.
Of course!
Right then, workout isn't on the agenda because I feel like crap.
Maybe in the afternoon once I've taken my cat to her second day of antibiotic shot I will have a nap because this is day two of almost no sleep.
It's funny how I've to adjust everything according to my cat's requirements right now which I had not foreseen before her operation.
I've to keep away from my study room as well because it's my cat's favourite place to lounge around on the window sill next to my work table and it's a long jump, which means I'll have to get all my stuff out in the living room area and sit around the floor or coffee table to minimise her movements .
The last couple days I seem to have lost my appetite and it feels awful to not eat and not want to eat.
Things I hope and I know will get better, just that I've to be able to do my work and keep an eye on the kitty who is currently trying to pull at her body bandage.
Saturday, 16 November 2019
Updates
It's been okay till now.
The kitty will have to get shots for the next four days and she has to keep from jumping and has a huge collar around her neck to keep herself from licking and she is already walking around and jumping and that's not something she is supposed to be doing but I'm trying to curb that.
Will be sleeping on the floor tonight so bringing out the mattress and quills for the needful so that she doesn't feel the need to jump on and off the bed.
Also, she has eaten well and the effects of anaesthesia are full throttle. She is drowsy and walks around like a drunk. If this situation hadn't been cuz of surgery I'd have laughed.
My baby has lost her most important organs and I feel so extremely guilty about it.
I think I'll have a good cry.
Rest I hope all goes fine.
The kitty will have to get shots for the next four days and she has to keep from jumping and has a huge collar around her neck to keep herself from licking and she is already walking around and jumping and that's not something she is supposed to be doing but I'm trying to curb that.
Will be sleeping on the floor tonight so bringing out the mattress and quills for the needful so that she doesn't feel the need to jump on and off the bed.
Also, she has eaten well and the effects of anaesthesia are full throttle. She is drowsy and walks around like a drunk. If this situation hadn't been cuz of surgery I'd have laughed.
My baby has lost her most important organs and I feel so extremely guilty about it.
I think I'll have a good cry.
Rest I hope all goes fine.
Updates
She is going through a pre operative examination after which the operation will happens after which I can take her home.
Now that I'm here it feels not as stressful as I've been feeling the past couple days, maybe because the presence of doctors and their skilful tackling and handling of the cat makes me feel at ease or could be that I'm in a habit to get stressed out.
Right now we sit inside the checkup room and await her results.
She's not been fed for the past ten hours and still she puts on a brave face.
If only I could have half the strength and will she possesses.
Friday, 15 November 2019
My little hope
Tomorrow will be a difficult day and until it's all over and done with I won't be able to think or talk of anything else, and so it's better I stay shut until such time.
Until soon then.
Until soon then.
Shouldn’t I?
I've a bunch of oranges and what keeps me from juicing them and adding vodka to make a screwdriver?
Well nothing really so maybe I should just go ahead and do that because there's pizza for dinner and what not .
Well nothing really so maybe I should just go ahead and do that because there's pizza for dinner and what not .
internet and cat
I mean it's almost 3 in the afternoon and my day hasn't even started yet.
I haven't got done with all that I'd planned because, well, I don't know. It's just been that kind of lazy day which starts out slow and ends slow and everything is the middle, though passing in fast forward stays at a pause in terms of all the important things one wants to get done with.
My internet is another bothersome part of today. The VPN that is, which is hardly loading any website and takes a long moment to refresh.
--
I look at my little cat sleeping calmly because it's getting colder and this is her first winter season and cats tend to get a lot lazier in this weather, hunting for warm spots all over the house and little does this babe know that tomorrow her insides will be violated in the most horrific manner.
If there was another option I'd go for it in a mo, I would. And I don't want to sound selfish and lazy but seeing how this one was rescued, almost near the end of her time with infected eyes and crawling with fleas I do not wish for more little babies such similar fate.
All I wish for her is a happier, healthier life and seeing her nature and her personality I know she is going to soon become an outdoor/indoor cat, much like my older cat.
She's run away from home almost five times this past week and I cannot and will not stop her from doing what she likes.
She's found a mentor in the older cat and soon she will start going out of the house and I will let her, under my strict supervision of course because she'll always be mine.
I haven't got done with all that I'd planned because, well, I don't know. It's just been that kind of lazy day which starts out slow and ends slow and everything is the middle, though passing in fast forward stays at a pause in terms of all the important things one wants to get done with.
My internet is another bothersome part of today. The VPN that is, which is hardly loading any website and takes a long moment to refresh.
--
I look at my little cat sleeping calmly because it's getting colder and this is her first winter season and cats tend to get a lot lazier in this weather, hunting for warm spots all over the house and little does this babe know that tomorrow her insides will be violated in the most horrific manner.
If there was another option I'd go for it in a mo, I would. And I don't want to sound selfish and lazy but seeing how this one was rescued, almost near the end of her time with infected eyes and crawling with fleas I do not wish for more little babies such similar fate.
All I wish for her is a happier, healthier life and seeing her nature and her personality I know she is going to soon become an outdoor/indoor cat, much like my older cat.
She's run away from home almost five times this past week and I cannot and will not stop her from doing what she likes.
She's found a mentor in the older cat and soon she will start going out of the house and I will let her, under my strict supervision of course because she'll always be mine.
birthday issues
As birthdays go I seem to be the only one who gets extremely agitated as mine approaches because I know I'm going to get saddled with gifts I do not like or want.
It's always like this and the mere thought of a surprise gift of any kind gives me anxiety because it usually ends in an argument or severe disappointment on my end; there are times when showing disapproval for something that is a gift is a bit unkind but I don't mind being unkind if it keeps me from getting rubbish in the future, and can I say this cycle just doesn't stop.
On some occasions when a piece of jewellery that I do not like is gifted, I take it to the jewellers and get it changed/sold or broken apart to make something new without really mentioning it to the other party but what does one do when it's a bag or shoes or a watch?
As if there aren't enough things for me to worry about that I've my birthday to add to the list which is why it's time for a reverse surprise and so I'm making reservations at an exquisite Japanese restaurant because it's my birthday and I shall do what I like. so there!
It's always like this and the mere thought of a surprise gift of any kind gives me anxiety because it usually ends in an argument or severe disappointment on my end; there are times when showing disapproval for something that is a gift is a bit unkind but I don't mind being unkind if it keeps me from getting rubbish in the future, and can I say this cycle just doesn't stop.
On some occasions when a piece of jewellery that I do not like is gifted, I take it to the jewellers and get it changed/sold or broken apart to make something new without really mentioning it to the other party but what does one do when it's a bag or shoes or a watch?
As if there aren't enough things for me to worry about that I've my birthday to add to the list which is why it's time for a reverse surprise and so I'm making reservations at an exquisite Japanese restaurant because it's my birthday and I shall do what I like. so there!
old timey stuff
I'm getting neanderthal vibes seeing how everyone without an iPhone is operating on 5G whereas I still am chugging along on a good old fashioned 4G.
I mean even Samsung has 5G phones and yet apple which is always tardy to the party is stuck in the dark ages still. I'm lucky if it doesn't bring back the plague..but honestly, I am only ever going to buy an Apple phone when they bring 5G or else I'm outta this game.
I'll buy me a blackberry cuz what am I if not in love with fruits of all kinds?
I mean even Samsung has 5G phones and yet apple which is always tardy to the party is stuck in the dark ages still. I'm lucky if it doesn't bring back the plague..but honestly, I am only ever going to buy an Apple phone when they bring 5G or else I'm outta this game.
I'll buy me a blackberry cuz what am I if not in love with fruits of all kinds?
faucet rocket
Youtube just threw up an ad for a voice sensing kitchen faucet in my face and now that's all I can think of.
You've to literally just tell it the measured amount of water you want and that's exactly how much the faucet will pour.
Now the faucet shall do as I command cuz Alexa is so 2018.
Should I start knocking on Kohler's door or was the ad made out to be too dramatic in a way that most such products are exaggerated to be?
I kinda want it now.
You've to literally just tell it the measured amount of water you want and that's exactly how much the faucet will pour.
Now the faucet shall do as I command cuz Alexa is so 2018.
Should I start knocking on Kohler's door or was the ad made out to be too dramatic in a way that most such products are exaggerated to be?
I kinda want it now.
Fri day day
Friday and I woke up feeling heavy headed, in pain, aching legs, cramps all over, with a roaring backache, gross and extremely icky and generally hateful of the world.
So I guess it's just that time when I'm going to be this way for a bit, and work out is usually thrown out of the window for a couple days but I'm fine with that because I've been trying to get back into my exercise game now and though I'm not completely there yet I will however start lifting next week because it just doesn't feel right without weights, also it makes me feel a lot more confident and strong just to know that I can lift heavy.
Righty then, today.
Ugh, I feel like I could just start throwing things at the wall today and I'm a bit nervous because tomorrow is close by, and my darling baby gets operated on and I'm a bit worried because her post op care is extremely necessary and it's important to keep her quiet and that's absolutely against her character.
Hope is a feisty little cat and very naughty, and she loves playing with my other cat and I'll have to isolate the two for at least a week and I'll have to be strict about it.
Okay, righty then.
I gotta get back to clawing and cursing and generally being a horrible person until my cramps abate.
So I guess it's just that time when I'm going to be this way for a bit, and work out is usually thrown out of the window for a couple days but I'm fine with that because I've been trying to get back into my exercise game now and though I'm not completely there yet I will however start lifting next week because it just doesn't feel right without weights, also it makes me feel a lot more confident and strong just to know that I can lift heavy.
Righty then, today.
Ugh, I feel like I could just start throwing things at the wall today and I'm a bit nervous because tomorrow is close by, and my darling baby gets operated on and I'm a bit worried because her post op care is extremely necessary and it's important to keep her quiet and that's absolutely against her character.
Hope is a feisty little cat and very naughty, and she loves playing with my other cat and I'll have to isolate the two for at least a week and I'll have to be strict about it.
Okay, righty then.
I gotta get back to clawing and cursing and generally being a horrible person until my cramps abate.
Thursday, 14 November 2019
Nightslit
the stars seek me out
wanting to pull me apart
to shred me into microcosms
to blink
like undying pixels
all over your screen
wanting to pull me apart
to shred me into microcosms
to blink
like undying pixels
all over your screen
audio stuff
Who me?
currently downloading 'a little hatred' audiobook because there are drawings to be made and I am dying to hear this book. Of course, I am. :)
currently downloading 'a little hatred' audiobook because there are drawings to be made and I am dying to hear this book. Of course, I am. :)
lip tastic
There's a new lip balm I'm using these days, just one of those things I picked up from an 'organic' boutique shop mostly because of the cute packaging and I didn't just pick one, I picked a dozen and gave some away to friends and the rest are kept in drawers and places I usually infest around the house and this particular lip balm that I'm currently using is a tangerine shea butter flavoured one and by the heavens it smells like a hotel lobby.
coffee and abs
It is afternoon and my house is finally silent apart from the clacking of keys and whirring of my brain that probably thinks now is a good time for coffee and maybe it is but the question is what kind of coffee?
Should I make it in a Moka pot or how about an espresso from my lovely machine?
I have come across a really lovely bag of coffee beans and they're Columbian and roasted just to the right darkness which imparts a soft smokiness with a subtle tang and the resulting coffee isn't nearly as strong and bitter which maybe some people like but I personally cannot appreciate them.
So yes, coffee then and maybe I will make an espresso and dilute with some hot water to make my version of Americano with the crema still intact and sweetened just enough because it's afternoon and I feel indulgent.
--
My upper abs are sore and each time that I lean on my table to lay emphasis and conviction on my writing they hurt and now maybe I won't be doing any strenuous ab workouts anymore, not least because of how ineffective crunches really are and yet I still do them because, well, if I'm doing a whole body toning then by the heavens even my hair will get a workout.
Right, to the coffee machine then.
Should I make it in a Moka pot or how about an espresso from my lovely machine?
I have come across a really lovely bag of coffee beans and they're Columbian and roasted just to the right darkness which imparts a soft smokiness with a subtle tang and the resulting coffee isn't nearly as strong and bitter which maybe some people like but I personally cannot appreciate them.
So yes, coffee then and maybe I will make an espresso and dilute with some hot water to make my version of Americano with the crema still intact and sweetened just enough because it's afternoon and I feel indulgent.
--
My upper abs are sore and each time that I lean on my table to lay emphasis and conviction on my writing they hurt and now maybe I won't be doing any strenuous ab workouts anymore, not least because of how ineffective crunches really are and yet I still do them because, well, if I'm doing a whole body toning then by the heavens even my hair will get a workout.
Right, to the coffee machine then.
A few deets
But how is it almost 10 and I haven't even had my tea yet seeing how I've been awake for four hours now?
Oh yes, chores.
How could I forget about it?
The day starts and so does life which is a bit of a drag because in this extremely cold weather when the insides of the house feel like ice slabs I still haven't started my heaters and maybe in a few days I will, waking up seems to be the most excruciating exercise in practising will power.
How am I just expected to toss away my toasty duvet and spring to life?
How am I supposed to feel calm walking out of the bedroom into a new world of drudgeries waiting for me in a list like manner that begins from cleaning the kitty litter to arranging last nights utensils to fixing food and grooming the house after which I begin with my life which at this point I'm unable to exactly point out what it actually is.
All I need is a moment to myself and now that it's Thursday and I see not much on the horizon in a way of doing things outside so today m, I shall sit on my machine and get twerking with my fingers.
There's a story that needs finishing and I hate that I couldn't finish it before I left and now it's stuck and it's been two months so I am going to write it now and get on along with things that have to be done.
Also, next week I'm going to start with clicking pictures for my book and getting on with the recipes, and for that I need to get some things in order and pick up some ingredients.
There's just so much left in the middle and when you're gone it doesn't simply disappear, it stays waiting for you to come back and by the heavens I am going to set up a deadline for myself and get things done!
I hope, but then I will.
Also, the cat's operation is day after and I am verging a bit on panic attack mode and so once that is totally cleared up and I am left with nothing to worry about, my heart will be in a much better place to get working.
To tea then.
Oh yes, chores.
How could I forget about it?
The day starts and so does life which is a bit of a drag because in this extremely cold weather when the insides of the house feel like ice slabs I still haven't started my heaters and maybe in a few days I will, waking up seems to be the most excruciating exercise in practising will power.
How am I just expected to toss away my toasty duvet and spring to life?
How am I supposed to feel calm walking out of the bedroom into a new world of drudgeries waiting for me in a list like manner that begins from cleaning the kitty litter to arranging last nights utensils to fixing food and grooming the house after which I begin with my life which at this point I'm unable to exactly point out what it actually is.
All I need is a moment to myself and now that it's Thursday and I see not much on the horizon in a way of doing things outside so today m, I shall sit on my machine and get twerking with my fingers.
There's a story that needs finishing and I hate that I couldn't finish it before I left and now it's stuck and it's been two months so I am going to write it now and get on along with things that have to be done.
Also, next week I'm going to start with clicking pictures for my book and getting on with the recipes, and for that I need to get some things in order and pick up some ingredients.
There's just so much left in the middle and when you're gone it doesn't simply disappear, it stays waiting for you to come back and by the heavens I am going to set up a deadline for myself and get things done!
I hope, but then I will.
Also, the cat's operation is day after and I am verging a bit on panic attack mode and so once that is totally cleared up and I am left with nothing to worry about, my heart will be in a much better place to get working.
To tea then.
Wednesday, 13 November 2019
Animal things
Phew!
Today has been something of a long day what with visit to hospitals and finally taking a decision and Saturday at 9:10 the cat gets operated upon.
One hospital almost made me feel like I was in a supermarket where I could tailor the cats operation by selecting the things I wanted with their price tags attached.
Operation was one cost but the anaesthesia was another and the kind I wanted whether IV or through mouth was another, post op medication was another cost to chose from, the stitches were another one because if I wanted ones that could be dissolved had a different price, then pre op examination of the animal was another price and it was literally up to me to pick and see what I could add on or subtract to the whole operative procedure .
Kind of sick and weird.
That wasn't the place I selected and went to one that according to my friend had a set menu .
More like one price tag that included everything and I'm glad that they'd keep the animal under observation for a few hours after operation as opposed to the tailor selection of the other hospital that would have me pick up the animal as soon as she regained consciousness.
So that's what I did!
A bit depressing because it would take at least 10 days for the kitty to completely recover and it kind of breaks my heart.
Today has been something of a long day what with visit to hospitals and finally taking a decision and Saturday at 9:10 the cat gets operated upon.
One hospital almost made me feel like I was in a supermarket where I could tailor the cats operation by selecting the things I wanted with their price tags attached.
Operation was one cost but the anaesthesia was another and the kind I wanted whether IV or through mouth was another, post op medication was another cost to chose from, the stitches were another one because if I wanted ones that could be dissolved had a different price, then pre op examination of the animal was another price and it was literally up to me to pick and see what I could add on or subtract to the whole operative procedure .
Kind of sick and weird.
That wasn't the place I selected and went to one that according to my friend had a set menu .
More like one price tag that included everything and I'm glad that they'd keep the animal under observation for a few hours after operation as opposed to the tailor selection of the other hospital that would have me pick up the animal as soon as she regained consciousness.
So that's what I did!
A bit depressing because it would take at least 10 days for the kitty to completely recover and it kind of breaks my heart.
A few things
Why did I wake up in the middle of the night? Why did my alarm go off so early?
Well, it wasn't the middle of the night and my alarm didn't go off early either because it was 6 in the morning but the darkness outside was astounding.
It feels like evening, the skies are grey, the green of the trees are chalky and I feel moody.
Today is going to be tough.
My kitty cat has reached the age where she needs to get neutered and for a female animal this process is a bit more painful because they literally open up the stomach and remove their ovaries and uterus :(
I wish there was another option but there isn't. It's important to neuter your pet and today I will go and check a few hospitals.
Seeing how it's an extremely common and safe operation this shouldn't be an issue but I am a high strung parent and fussy to boot and very very scared.
I can't imagine seeing my baby in pain and all stitched up and it hurts me to think that perhaps by this weekend she will have the operation.
I'm scared about everything.
Right from not feeding her for a day before the operation to the post op care and worrying crazy that she will be in lots of pain for a few days has been driving me a bit mad for a couple days now and today I will be checking a few hospitals apart from the regular one that she goes to and have a talk with doctors etc.
maybe there is a better and safer option. Almost every cat parent I've spoken to has been trying to convince me that it's not a big deal and that it will be fine before I even know it but I look at my cat and it almost makes me cry to think that for a few days she will be suffering.
Upper body workout today and perhaps that will help me feel better.
Well, it wasn't the middle of the night and my alarm didn't go off early either because it was 6 in the morning but the darkness outside was astounding.
It feels like evening, the skies are grey, the green of the trees are chalky and I feel moody.
Today is going to be tough.
My kitty cat has reached the age where she needs to get neutered and for a female animal this process is a bit more painful because they literally open up the stomach and remove their ovaries and uterus :(
I wish there was another option but there isn't. It's important to neuter your pet and today I will go and check a few hospitals.
Seeing how it's an extremely common and safe operation this shouldn't be an issue but I am a high strung parent and fussy to boot and very very scared.
I can't imagine seeing my baby in pain and all stitched up and it hurts me to think that perhaps by this weekend she will have the operation.
I'm scared about everything.
Right from not feeding her for a day before the operation to the post op care and worrying crazy that she will be in lots of pain for a few days has been driving me a bit mad for a couple days now and today I will be checking a few hospitals apart from the regular one that she goes to and have a talk with doctors etc.
maybe there is a better and safer option. Almost every cat parent I've spoken to has been trying to convince me that it's not a big deal and that it will be fine before I even know it but I look at my cat and it almost makes me cry to think that for a few days she will be suffering.
Upper body workout today and perhaps that will help me feel better.
Tuesday, 12 November 2019
Thee
A thousand images of you in my head
and yet I picture you differently each time
In my memory
you live in fragments of a million variations
some are just smiles
a thousand images of laughter
The simple curve of your lips in a hundred different aspects
a simple nod entrusted to an omnibus
they all implode into a fluctuating face
that never crystallises into completion
and yet I picture you differently each time
In my memory
you live in fragments of a million variations
some are just smiles
a thousand images of laughter
The simple curve of your lips in a hundred different aspects
a simple nod entrusted to an omnibus
they all implode into a fluctuating face
that never crystallises into completion
Deconstruct
That you destroyed
and rebuilt me
over and over
in a span of a few hours
some architect you
my darling
won't you rebuild me again
into something spectacular
and rebuilt me
over and over
in a span of a few hours
some architect you
my darling
won't you rebuild me again
into something spectacular
Aches
Night descends and so do longings
shattering the very bone
Of this Tuesday
vibrating through its disregard
for my aching heart
that needs to be held tight
in a vice like grip
and squeezed into a mulch
to feel the sweet hurt that can really hurt
shattering the very bone
Of this Tuesday
vibrating through its disregard
for my aching heart
that needs to be held tight
in a vice like grip
and squeezed into a mulch
to feel the sweet hurt that can really hurt
Binge eating and slipknot
Not the one for having eating disorders or having an unhealthy relationship with food whatsoever, I am able to restrict and keep my diet and food wholesome and clean usually eating a lot of vegan meals and what not but there are some days when I feel like stuffing my face with horrid sodium laced, deep-fried, crunchy foods and it's on those days that I feel like I could have my own moments of weakness.
It's not a good feeling knowing that I could be tempted and if that is what makes us humans then by the dead I'm too much of a human.
----
Listening to the new slipknot album and after repeated hearings, I think the song Nero Forte has made a house inside of me because of how old school and totally slipknot it sounds with a bit of their evolution peeking through. It's not nearly as bloody and raw as Iowa but it's pretty good!
How is it that Corey Taylor's vocals sound so good in Slipknot and totally gay in Stone sour?
It's not a good feeling knowing that I could be tempted and if that is what makes us humans then by the dead I'm too much of a human.
----
Listening to the new slipknot album and after repeated hearings, I think the song Nero Forte has made a house inside of me because of how old school and totally slipknot it sounds with a bit of their evolution peeking through. It's not nearly as bloody and raw as Iowa but it's pretty good!
How is it that Corey Taylor's vocals sound so good in Slipknot and totally gay in Stone sour?
cats a bing
Hot clothes fresh out of the dried piled into a small mountain to be soon folded and ironed but what do I see a minute after?
two cats lounging on the warm clothes that have just been cleaned and proceeding to sleep like it ain't a big deal which it isn't because there can be nothing more serene than sleeping pets seeing how its a moment of repose and calm for me to get on with my life.
two cats lounging on the warm clothes that have just been cleaned and proceeding to sleep like it ain't a big deal which it isn't because there can be nothing more serene than sleeping pets seeing how its a moment of repose and calm for me to get on with my life.
Moment of truth
I have retained most of the definition but there is more roundness and softness to my body which working out on a regular basis had turned into more angular lines.
My stomach looks a lot more natural as opposed to how it did a couple months back and the shoulders seem differently too.
My arms and thighs haven't changed much except they've lost a bit of their definition which I hope to bring back.
Tuesday bla bla
Ola Tuesday!
Come to bite us in the ass have we now?
Of course. Horrid day, wretched weather and a small zit happening on my left eyebrow and a cat who keeps crying to run out of the house.
What couldn't be better?
Oh yes of course, today is a strenuous workout circuit that includes some cardio and lots of lower body exercises and Pilates because let's just do it.
This weather is a trigger for some people who like to run but had stopped in summer weather and now the sidewalks are teeming with runners dressed in the latest running gear which seems to have evolved in the past few months.
Of course I woke up far too early to fix breakfast and lunch and something clicked in me and I ended up cooking extra lunch that was a spicy millet khichri and now lunch is one less thing to worry about.
Ok then, what is this water fasting? Like people just stop eating food and only drink water for days and not just a couple days but upto a week and more .
How on earth does one not eat and drink only water for a week?
Why the hell do they call it a cleanse when it's really just stupidity?
There are people who go on a water fast for 25 days!!! Doesn't that stuff kill you????
Why am I even talking about this?
Btw I was on a caffeine purge and on day fifth I totally spaced out and made tea for me and now I'll have to begin the purge all over again or maybe do it again next week or even next month.
Right then.
Let's do it Tuesday.
Come to bite us in the ass have we now?
Of course. Horrid day, wretched weather and a small zit happening on my left eyebrow and a cat who keeps crying to run out of the house.
What couldn't be better?
Oh yes of course, today is a strenuous workout circuit that includes some cardio and lots of lower body exercises and Pilates because let's just do it.
This weather is a trigger for some people who like to run but had stopped in summer weather and now the sidewalks are teeming with runners dressed in the latest running gear which seems to have evolved in the past few months.
Of course I woke up far too early to fix breakfast and lunch and something clicked in me and I ended up cooking extra lunch that was a spicy millet khichri and now lunch is one less thing to worry about.
Ok then, what is this water fasting? Like people just stop eating food and only drink water for days and not just a couple days but upto a week and more .
How on earth does one not eat and drink only water for a week?
Why the hell do they call it a cleanse when it's really just stupidity?
There are people who go on a water fast for 25 days!!! Doesn't that stuff kill you????
Why am I even talking about this?
Btw I was on a caffeine purge and on day fifth I totally spaced out and made tea for me and now I'll have to begin the purge all over again or maybe do it again next week or even next month.
Right then.
Let's do it Tuesday.
Bittersweet Tuesday
What are mornings if not meant for waking up to dreams that were a momentary certainty, an occurrence of the most delicious reality, and you wallowed in them like an eager fish finding new waters.
To wake up with not a drop of sunlight, the grey skies marred by aching clouds merging into the gloom to make them one of their own so as not to feel upset over the dullness of their lives again, letting pass a scathing wind of bizarre chilliness with sharp points making for tender warms places on your neck that were left burning with paints of hot longing, scrawled with erogenous scriptures of a new world that was discovered through finger tips and tongues in muted darkness that combusted with broken breaths.
Mornings in their foul humour in cahoots with dreams with their twisted sense of comic bringing forth to mind every detail that had stayed in recesses of creased sheets, bubbling into the iris to mock and play.
Dreams that stayed stranded amidst eyelashes as the new day let itself be known and the head struggled to become one with mundane bitterness of reality, jagged by sweetness that is another realm still clasped under a strand of lash.
To wake up with not a drop of sunlight, the grey skies marred by aching clouds merging into the gloom to make them one of their own so as not to feel upset over the dullness of their lives again, letting pass a scathing wind of bizarre chilliness with sharp points making for tender warms places on your neck that were left burning with paints of hot longing, scrawled with erogenous scriptures of a new world that was discovered through finger tips and tongues in muted darkness that combusted with broken breaths.
Mornings in their foul humour in cahoots with dreams with their twisted sense of comic bringing forth to mind every detail that had stayed in recesses of creased sheets, bubbling into the iris to mock and play.
Dreams that stayed stranded amidst eyelashes as the new day let itself be known and the head struggled to become one with mundane bitterness of reality, jagged by sweetness that is another realm still clasped under a strand of lash.
Monday, 11 November 2019
Hallucinate
I breathe in and feels like there's motes of dust playing on my every inhale .
What is this?
My face suddenly feels dry and there's dust all around me but only I can see it and feel it.
It's like I'm in some other world while living in this one because how is it that no one else realizes the dry fine particles that seems to underline every breath.
But then again how is it possible?
The windows are shut and there isn't dust as such around here either .
Then what?
What is this?
My face suddenly feels dry and there's dust all around me but only I can see it and feel it.
It's like I'm in some other world while living in this one because how is it that no one else realizes the dry fine particles that seems to underline every breath.
But then again how is it possible?
The windows are shut and there isn't dust as such around here either .
Then what?
Date
11/11 and Stuart weitzman beckons but I look for tofu litter for my cat because what am I if not all about bi degradable stuff and boring to boot.
Speaking of boots..
Speaking of boots..
Shopping quest
What shopping hast thou indulged in?
Do tell.
A shopping haul is definitely the need of the hour.
Do tell.
A shopping haul is definitely the need of the hour.
Starred
As I look upwards above my cat this afternoon where no stars are visible I am informed that the constellation Sagittarius along with Saturn and Jupiter are diagonally above me .
Courtesy- sky view lite. Now I wait for our stars to align and show me a sign.
Deets
Who me?
Out and about.
Agenda includes buying a couple toys for the kitten who's since broken most of them and also get her some snacks and I'm hoping to get this done in one swift movement.
Also,
I want to buy a couple vegetables .
I know, I've only just bought them but it's funny how quickly this house goes through carrots and potatoes.
Onwards and upwards then.
—
It's a beautiful sunny day and when this equation of gets mixed with cold it makes for lovely weather.
Out and about.
Agenda includes buying a couple toys for the kitten who's since broken most of them and also get her some snacks and I'm hoping to get this done in one swift movement.
Also,
I want to buy a couple vegetables .
I know, I've only just bought them but it's funny how quickly this house goes through carrots and potatoes.
Onwards and upwards then.
—
It's a beautiful sunny day and when this equation of gets mixed with cold it makes for lovely weather.
Morning decisions
Today imma start my workout.
I know, It's been a week since I've come home and I haven't worked out and no I haven't and today I shall start and not stop until my muscles spring back from their hibernation.
A new winter shred program and continuing with my wish to put on more muscles I will tailor my workouts accordingly but today isn't going to be anything strenuous, more like lots of body weight exercises and lots of yoga and by next week Monday I will come to a point where I can start my strength training.
A small lunch and then I head out to do this and that and mostly that because what the hell.
Right then!
To the exercise mat!
I know, It's been a week since I've come home and I haven't worked out and no I haven't and today I shall start and not stop until my muscles spring back from their hibernation.
A new winter shred program and continuing with my wish to put on more muscles I will tailor my workouts accordingly but today isn't going to be anything strenuous, more like lots of body weight exercises and lots of yoga and by next week Monday I will come to a point where I can start my strength training.
A small lunch and then I head out to do this and that and mostly that because what the hell.
Right then!
To the exercise mat!
Sunday, 10 November 2019
Above and below
On my ceiling is the constellation Pisces and the moon under my bed is the constellation Sagittarius and the planets Saturn and Jupiter.
Am I gratified to live in this universe or what?
Courtesy sky view lite, an app that will make you look up and search for our stars to align.
Conversations
Hey you
I speak in my head
As you look up
from between my legs
I love you, I say
you smack your lips
I know, you reply
I speak in my head
As you look up
from between my legs
I love you, I say
you smack your lips
I know, you reply
Heart a flutter
nighttime and the soul congeals
into a blob
of icicle hearts
glutinous in their sticky adherence
to the one singular thought
of when can I touch you again?
into a blob
of icicle hearts
glutinous in their sticky adherence
to the one singular thought
of when can I touch you again?
Alarmed
It's been a week
Since I woke up
Each morning
To fix breakfast,
cook lunch
An now I'm in conversation
with my phone
asking Siri
to do the needful
Since I woke up
Each morning
To fix breakfast,
cook lunch
An now I'm in conversation
with my phone
asking Siri
to do the needful
Nose does it
One of those days when the universe points you in a certain direction and shows you the same thing over and over again .
I saw almost five different people with bandages over their post op noses strolling about the city and all of a sudden it's like a veil has been lifted and I can see what I didn't earlier, or maybe because they were just so blatantly bandaged that I couldn't help, but even so.
I saw almost five different people with bandages over their post op noses strolling about the city and all of a sudden it's like a veil has been lifted and I can see what I didn't earlier, or maybe because they were just so blatantly bandaged that I couldn't help, but even so.
Attractions
Why did I let myself get sucked into this?
Grocery shopping sometimes appeals me on a whole new level and on days when I'm in no mood to look at produce and cans I find myself wanting to run away from it all and that is exactly what happened today when I instead strolled in the audio products section and found myself ogling at the most spectacular marantz amplifier and wanting it idiotically for no reason other than that it was compact, had a CD/DVD tray along with all the other fixings and it beckoned me on a similar level as jewellery and the only thing that could pry my attention from that lovely amplifier was a new rustic red coloured blendtec total classic.
I bought neither because what am I if not the queen of restraint?
Grocery shopping sometimes appeals me on a whole new level and on days when I'm in no mood to look at produce and cans I find myself wanting to run away from it all and that is exactly what happened today when I instead strolled in the audio products section and found myself ogling at the most spectacular marantz amplifier and wanting it idiotically for no reason other than that it was compact, had a CD/DVD tray along with all the other fixings and it beckoned me on a similar level as jewellery and the only thing that could pry my attention from that lovely amplifier was a new rustic red coloured blendtec total classic.
I bought neither because what am I if not the queen of restraint?
About this and that
Who me?
Sitting at an organic vegan restaurant because that's just how some days are.
Tofu and seitan for brunch then.
And after this?
There are some groceries that need shopping and I've been avoiding it because I have little interest in going to supermarkets on some days and well, I'm trying to steer the conversation towards my favourite Japanese super market but that never happens when I'm not alone.
:(
To the brunch then.
Sitting at an organic vegan restaurant because that's just how some days are.
Tofu and seitan for brunch then.
And after this?
There are some groceries that need shopping and I've been avoiding it because I have little interest in going to supermarkets on some days and well, I'm trying to steer the conversation towards my favourite Japanese super market but that never happens when I'm not alone.
:(
To the brunch then.
Saturday, 9 November 2019
Wow!!
Saw a mukbanger having a fantastical meltdown on camera while eating food, the kind of meltdown I can only ever dream of having.
It's an old video I think but the guy in question shaved his hair off while eating food and it turned his eggs hairy after which he proceeded to wipe his tears with the fried eggs.
I mean that is just fabulous!!
It's an old video I think but the guy in question shaved his hair off while eating food and it turned his eggs hairy after which he proceeded to wipe his tears with the fried eggs.
I mean that is just fabulous!!
Decisions
How does the decision of Ram Mandir play havoc on my plans?
Like who cares? But here we are sitting in front of tv like it's the most important news in this world and my plans for going to the work stay suspended in misery .
I'm totally against this idiotic temple building.
Can't they just make a hospital named Ram Mandir.
Like who cares? But here we are sitting in front of tv like it's the most important news in this world and my plans for going to the work stay suspended in misery .
I'm totally against this idiotic temple building.
Can't they just make a hospital named Ram Mandir.
Sat er day
Hello Saturday!
What have we got here then?
A bright sunny day?
Breezy with blue skies.
Working vpn
Breakfast on the horizon
park beckoning
why yes of course I shall fully commit.
What have we got here then?
A bright sunny day?
Breezy with blue skies.
Working vpn
Breakfast on the horizon
park beckoning
why yes of course I shall fully commit.
Friday, 8 November 2019
No hair
Veet hair removing cream for men!! What on earth! How is it different for the one for women?
And I mean what the heck even!
But wait.
Why am I smiling?
And I mean what the heck even!
But wait.
Why am I smiling?
Dinner deets
Dinner today is pao bhaji, because I read it in one of your posts and have been craving it since. 
Of course the Pao and bhaji in question have to be all made at home which kind of takes away from the leisure of eating it all but what can you do?
Edit: the dish turned out well and I shared it with my dear friends who have since sent me messages asking for the recipe which bodes well in its favour I'd say.
Long post which is an angry rant
I have a friend.
Not a dear friend but certainly a friend and we share a common passion for food, grocery shopping, animals as well as massage and so based on common interests we get along rather well and keep our lives restricted to just that, taking care not to cross over into another realm of closeness because neither of us expects that from each other .
She comes over often for tea and talks and from what I have gathered is quite the social bee and bit of a gossip which I don't mind at all because it's always fun to stay updated about things and social agenda's and stuff happening around you.
Why this post?
Well, I have noticed in the last two years of our budding friendship that she hardly ever invites me to her house which is exactly 100 meters away from mine and in fact on occasions that I have taken some homemade cakes and breads to share with her she always intercepts and receives me outside not once letting me inside, except that one time she wanted to learn to make 'curry'.
Her house is well, her house I guess .
Messy and what not but how do I care and is that the only reason she won't invite me inside?
Not like I'm a vampire.
So here's the thing.
Yesterday I was out and thought of delivering to her house a few things I'd brought for her from home land. Like dried apricots, sweets and snacks which I know she loves and so I sent her a message mentioning that I'd be popping over.
A prompt reply told me not to because of a very vague reason that she hadn't slept well .
Alright.
I sent her a message today asking her if she was free to which she didn't reply for the longest time and a moment ago sent me a message saying that she'd come to visit me and have tea.
Alright!
So the reason I think she didn't reply was because she was afraid that I might come over, which I wouldn't because I'm hardly the one to intrude but she on numerous occasions pops over for hours an end and ends up spending most of her lunch time with me, talking about banal stuff and what not and I wonder if she doesn't have to go home and cook because there I am standing in my workout clothes, sweating, about to go for a shower and there she is asking for tea and making conversations.
She's almost 2 decades over me and so I respect her in a way as to not offend her and let small things like this pass, even though I do think of why she never lets me come inside her house .
And in fact I've realized that it's her always paying others a visit and never ever inviting anyone over .
This is most curious .
Why this long post?
While I was back home and my cats were alone being taken care by some extraordinary people who are actually some of my closest friends here there was a day when said friends informed me that they would get a couple hours Kate to visit my cats and feed them.
Fine, I told them. Not an issue, I can ask someone else to check in my cats.
A couple hours won't be a higher but cats get used to a particular time and adjust their body clocks and my little kitten would surely get hassled and so I asked this friend regarding whom this ousts gets typed to check on my cat.
I told her specifically because she had on numerous occasions volunteered to care for my cat in my absence and so keeping that in mind I asked her if she could pop over to my house and feed the cats and just generally spend five minutes with them because they also need company.
She replied with a prompt 'sure' and an hour later with a 'sorry' because she was afraid that she might open the door and the cats might run outside and thusly she wrote she won't be able to check on the felines because she was afraid they might run away .
What on earth?
She has two cats herself and knows enough about them to know that they won't be boarding a plane and flying off .
The most they would do is run out and it's easy to bring them back, that is if they ever run out and one is an outdoor cat, so no problem if he runs out and the other is a kitten who is too scared to step out on the road, so why the apprehension??
Moreover the building has an entrance door which can be shut ensuring no one goes outside.
I didn't understand the logic or the excuse and so replied with a 'no problem' and a smiley because a while later my friends who were running late that day came over and spent the entire day with my cats, feeding, playing and cleaning them.
This was a small incident but enough to tell me to not trust that person within a breath of oxygen, her insincerity and lack of concern didn't go unnoticed and today I am sure to talk of it and distance myself restricting our friendship to acquaintanceship because I didn't like what she did.
I mean I'd often help her rescue animals and take them to the vet and what not and almost always when she needed my help my presence was immediate but once!! Once I asked her for a small favour which I'm sure pales in comparison to giving a roadside mutt a medicinal bath on her request, and she made an idiotic excuse.
Unforgivable!
I just wanted to talk to someone about it.
Not a dear friend but certainly a friend and we share a common passion for food, grocery shopping, animals as well as massage and so based on common interests we get along rather well and keep our lives restricted to just that, taking care not to cross over into another realm of closeness because neither of us expects that from each other .
She comes over often for tea and talks and from what I have gathered is quite the social bee and bit of a gossip which I don't mind at all because it's always fun to stay updated about things and social agenda's and stuff happening around you.
Why this post?
Well, I have noticed in the last two years of our budding friendship that she hardly ever invites me to her house which is exactly 100 meters away from mine and in fact on occasions that I have taken some homemade cakes and breads to share with her she always intercepts and receives me outside not once letting me inside, except that one time she wanted to learn to make 'curry'.
Her house is well, her house I guess .
Messy and what not but how do I care and is that the only reason she won't invite me inside?
Not like I'm a vampire.
So here's the thing.
Yesterday I was out and thought of delivering to her house a few things I'd brought for her from home land. Like dried apricots, sweets and snacks which I know she loves and so I sent her a message mentioning that I'd be popping over.
A prompt reply told me not to because of a very vague reason that she hadn't slept well .
Alright.
I sent her a message today asking her if she was free to which she didn't reply for the longest time and a moment ago sent me a message saying that she'd come to visit me and have tea.
Alright!
So the reason I think she didn't reply was because she was afraid that I might come over, which I wouldn't because I'm hardly the one to intrude but she on numerous occasions pops over for hours an end and ends up spending most of her lunch time with me, talking about banal stuff and what not and I wonder if she doesn't have to go home and cook because there I am standing in my workout clothes, sweating, about to go for a shower and there she is asking for tea and making conversations.
She's almost 2 decades over me and so I respect her in a way as to not offend her and let small things like this pass, even though I do think of why she never lets me come inside her house .
And in fact I've realized that it's her always paying others a visit and never ever inviting anyone over .
This is most curious .
Why this long post?
While I was back home and my cats were alone being taken care by some extraordinary people who are actually some of my closest friends here there was a day when said friends informed me that they would get a couple hours Kate to visit my cats and feed them.
Fine, I told them. Not an issue, I can ask someone else to check in my cats.
A couple hours won't be a higher but cats get used to a particular time and adjust their body clocks and my little kitten would surely get hassled and so I asked this friend regarding whom this ousts gets typed to check on my cat.
I told her specifically because she had on numerous occasions volunteered to care for my cat in my absence and so keeping that in mind I asked her if she could pop over to my house and feed the cats and just generally spend five minutes with them because they also need company.
She replied with a prompt 'sure' and an hour later with a 'sorry' because she was afraid that she might open the door and the cats might run outside and thusly she wrote she won't be able to check on the felines because she was afraid they might run away .
What on earth?
She has two cats herself and knows enough about them to know that they won't be boarding a plane and flying off .
The most they would do is run out and it's easy to bring them back, that is if they ever run out and one is an outdoor cat, so no problem if he runs out and the other is a kitten who is too scared to step out on the road, so why the apprehension??
Moreover the building has an entrance door which can be shut ensuring no one goes outside.
I didn't understand the logic or the excuse and so replied with a 'no problem' and a smiley because a while later my friends who were running late that day came over and spent the entire day with my cats, feeding, playing and cleaning them.
This was a small incident but enough to tell me to not trust that person within a breath of oxygen, her insincerity and lack of concern didn't go unnoticed and today I am sure to talk of it and distance myself restricting our friendship to acquaintanceship because I didn't like what she did.
I mean I'd often help her rescue animals and take them to the vet and what not and almost always when she needed my help my presence was immediate but once!! Once I asked her for a small favour which I'm sure pales in comparison to giving a roadside mutt a medicinal bath on her request, and she made an idiotic excuse.
Unforgivable!
I just wanted to talk to someone about it.
Noisebox
The cat lounges in sunlight
hearing the birds trill
She lets her head droop
in sunlit serenity
and suddenly looks around
with attentive eyes
moving her ears
to the sound of chirps
I fiddle with my laptop
ignoring completely
the chatter of silence
punctuated by breeze
because there are bigger things
this universe has divined for me
So I stare at my screen
that is about to restart
after an important update
hearing the birds trill
She lets her head droop
in sunlit serenity
and suddenly looks around
with attentive eyes
moving her ears
to the sound of chirps
I fiddle with my laptop
ignoring completely
the chatter of silence
punctuated by breeze
because there are bigger things
this universe has divined for me
So I stare at my screen
that is about to restart
after an important update
Music for cats
One thing I've noticed which is a mere observation with no scientific support at least not that I know of is that each time I put on some Indian classical music, specifically flute and tabla my cats calm down quite a bit.
It's not instantaneous, in that it takes a few minutes but I have noticed each time such music comes on specifically flute that both my cats suddenly cease their cyclonic games around the house and slowly begin calming down, they begin grooming themselves and in a few minutes initiate their ascent into wordless placidity.
It's not instantaneous, in that it takes a few minutes but I have noticed each time such music comes on specifically flute that both my cats suddenly cease their cyclonic games around the house and slowly begin calming down, they begin grooming themselves and in a few minutes initiate their ascent into wordless placidity.
Morning deets
Ho hum.
Another day and no Vpn yet.
It is frustrating yes.
There are things I gotta do, stuff I hafta read and Netflix series that needs watching.
I can't be stuck here with nothing. This is cheating .
I'm guessing and sort of hoping that sometime today noon it should I begin working or maybe I should give myself some more space and hope that I connect by evening.
In other news, the cold gets well colder and all the windows are open to just let out all the stale air after which I will begin to cozy up in closed room and hope for the better.
Another day and no Vpn yet.
It is frustrating yes.
There are things I gotta do, stuff I hafta read and Netflix series that needs watching.
I can't be stuck here with nothing. This is cheating .
I'm guessing and sort of hoping that sometime today noon it should I begin working or maybe I should give myself some more space and hope that I connect by evening.
In other news, the cold gets well colder and all the windows are open to just let out all the stale air after which I will begin to cozy up in closed room and hope for the better.
Thursday, 7 November 2019
Sad baby
The thing with Internet today is that it's slow and the Vpn is blocked because there's an international expo happening in Shanghai and it's a quite a big deal because the entire world seems to have reached here including some of the most important people on this side of the globe and for reasons unknown they've thought it necessary to block the VPN.
:(
:(
SOS
Should I feel guilty for jumping with joy on seeing my ayi today?
My lord, as life would have it I do every household chore myself but on some occasions, roughly twice a week I don't mind getting helped by my very meticulous and neat Ayi's who sort of double up on the cleaning that is to say everything I do they do it all over and my house is one shiny diamond and for that I can never thank them enough .
My week is divided into five facets of cleaning .
One day is dusting
second day is toilets and mirrors
third day is vacuuming and mopping
fourth day is windows
and fifth day is misc
And every day includes grooming and cleaning, laundry, litter etc each morning and on the two days that my precious Ayi's come they do all of the above in two hours and I am left with a bunch of sparkles that is my house.
Today I scrubbed the kitchen tiles and wooden panels because it's been near two months since they received any love and also I will be reglossing my wooden floors by cleaning them with a vinegar and oil mixture after which I will rub the floor with a special microfibre cloth to get a gleaming shine since my floors look a bit dull but of course I have some help and for that I'm glad, so very glad.
My lord, as life would have it I do every household chore myself but on some occasions, roughly twice a week I don't mind getting helped by my very meticulous and neat Ayi's who sort of double up on the cleaning that is to say everything I do they do it all over and my house is one shiny diamond and for that I can never thank them enough .
My week is divided into five facets of cleaning .
One day is dusting
second day is toilets and mirrors
third day is vacuuming and mopping
fourth day is windows
and fifth day is misc
And every day includes grooming and cleaning, laundry, litter etc each morning and on the two days that my precious Ayi's come they do all of the above in two hours and I am left with a bunch of sparkles that is my house.
Today I scrubbed the kitchen tiles and wooden panels because it's been near two months since they received any love and also I will be reglossing my wooden floors by cleaning them with a vinegar and oil mixture after which I will rub the floor with a special microfibre cloth to get a gleaming shine since my floors look a bit dull but of course I have some help and for that I'm glad, so very glad.
The cold is getting to me
Why am I so cold I've been wondering.
Why are my legs cold, my feet and arms and nose so cold? Why?
And then I glanced around because in my spell of temporary amnesia I forgot that I'd opened all the windows and balcony doors this morning and they're open still and I'm complaining of cold!
Way to go!
In other news I've been trying to dry a bunch of chrysanthemums that I've just plucked from my kitchen garden and there's not a drop of sunlight and there I was ambitiously thinking of drinking fresh chrysanthemum tea.
The cold has frozen my brains indeed.
Why are my legs cold, my feet and arms and nose so cold? Why?
And then I glanced around because in my spell of temporary amnesia I forgot that I'd opened all the windows and balcony doors this morning and they're open still and I'm complaining of cold!
Way to go!
In other news I've been trying to dry a bunch of chrysanthemums that I've just plucked from my kitchen garden and there's not a drop of sunlight and there I was ambitiously thinking of drinking fresh chrysanthemum tea.
The cold has frozen my brains indeed.
The pains of it
Aching shoulder blades need rest.
Workout is a great way to optimise one's body and strengthen it but the onset usually has the body in stages of aches and discomfort that can last for a couple months until such time as the body fully adjusts and sometimes we tend to go a bit overboard with our workouts and distress muscles, in which case it's best to take rest, at least in areas where the aches are happening.
Let the pain completely subside before starting or continuing with workouts.
Cold compressions work best to alleviate pain and in this cold weather it can feel annoying to do it but a few minutes every day in intervals is helpful.
Right, having said that I definitely recommend doing yoga along with exercises, maybe every alternative day and I know that yoga is so off brand but what it does is really help in stretching and galvanising our muscles to keep them from getting hurt with more strenuous workouts .
Sometimes one can experience random muscles spasms and it could drive one to think as to why is it happening especially when you've been working out, but for something like that to not happen one has to be working out for a prolonged period and look towards continuously strengthening your spine, which yoga really helps with.
If the shoulder blades are extremely painful then most definitely avoid anything related to upper body.
If however you still feel guilty about not getting any workout done then perhaps relegate your exercises to only lower body, like variations of lunges and squats which need absolutely no upper body movement, however it's best to take rest and let the area heal completely before moving on.
Another alternative is physiotherapy if the pain absolutely refuses to subside. But give it time and in a few days it will be but all gone after which start with some lower body routine before going to extreme upper body exercises and definitely add yoga routines because it helps in reducing our body's wear and tear.
Workout is a great way to optimise one's body and strengthen it but the onset usually has the body in stages of aches and discomfort that can last for a couple months until such time as the body fully adjusts and sometimes we tend to go a bit overboard with our workouts and distress muscles, in which case it's best to take rest, at least in areas where the aches are happening.
Let the pain completely subside before starting or continuing with workouts.
Cold compressions work best to alleviate pain and in this cold weather it can feel annoying to do it but a few minutes every day in intervals is helpful.
Right, having said that I definitely recommend doing yoga along with exercises, maybe every alternative day and I know that yoga is so off brand but what it does is really help in stretching and galvanising our muscles to keep them from getting hurt with more strenuous workouts .
Sometimes one can experience random muscles spasms and it could drive one to think as to why is it happening especially when you've been working out, but for something like that to not happen one has to be working out for a prolonged period and look towards continuously strengthening your spine, which yoga really helps with.
If the shoulder blades are extremely painful then most definitely avoid anything related to upper body.
If however you still feel guilty about not getting any workout done then perhaps relegate your exercises to only lower body, like variations of lunges and squats which need absolutely no upper body movement, however it's best to take rest and let the area heal completely before moving on.
Another alternative is physiotherapy if the pain absolutely refuses to subside. But give it time and in a few days it will be but all gone after which start with some lower body routine before going to extreme upper body exercises and definitely add yoga routines because it helps in reducing our body's wear and tear.
Wednesday, 6 November 2019
Night shroud
If only the night were as nefarious
as my innate desires
to do the unthinkable
with you
as my innate desires
to do the unthinkable
with you
Shop drop
11/11 will soon be upon us. What are you buying? I'm asked.
Uh. Well. I..uh.. nothing.
Shopping isn't something that just happens to me anytime.
It takes calculated needs and interest and I've done enough shopping this time while I was back home.
Maybe I'll buy some useless things to declutter next year but we know it won't happen because what's the point of buying useless things anyway? I don't have the sudden urge that sometimes compels one to trawl through shopping sites and I think I have almost everything I need. I mean of course not. Need isn't the right word since it's always propelled by our greed to keep wanting and I can be swayed but right now nothing comes to mind at all.
Uh. Well. I..uh.. nothing.
Shopping isn't something that just happens to me anytime.
It takes calculated needs and interest and I've done enough shopping this time while I was back home.
Maybe I'll buy some useless things to declutter next year but we know it won't happen because what's the point of buying useless things anyway? I don't have the sudden urge that sometimes compels one to trawl through shopping sites and I think I have almost everything I need. I mean of course not. Need isn't the right word since it's always propelled by our greed to keep wanting and I can be swayed but right now nothing comes to mind at all.
Evening times
There are things I gotta do and no reason for not doing them and yet I will conjure something and look forward to procrastinating because why should I not spend my days on a couch?
Evening time, which means some incense for outside the house, some essential oils for brightening the inside and seeing how the weather has become colder the scents are always difficult to decide.
Anything citric just doesn't do it anymore as it did during summer months .
I want something thicker, sweeter and deep. Like frankincense, rose, sandalwood or Oudh.
Decisions, decisions.
Evening time, which means some incense for outside the house, some essential oils for brightening the inside and seeing how the weather has become colder the scents are always difficult to decide.
Anything citric just doesn't do it anymore as it did during summer months .
I want something thicker, sweeter and deep. Like frankincense, rose, sandalwood or Oudh.
Decisions, decisions.
Eating to death
Why the fuck?? Just why on earth does YouTube recommend asmr mukbangs to me?
Well, probably cuz I sometimes end up watching them and cringe and stay lost in wonderment and nausea .
It's very confusing.
I can't figure it out myself .
Well, probably cuz I sometimes end up watching them and cringe and stay lost in wonderment and nausea .
It's very confusing.
I can't figure it out myself .
What if
Sometimes I wonder at what? Like what if I'm ever stranded on an island with two fatties? Like a couple of my really fat cousins. What would I do?
I'd probably run away very far from them at the very first sign of hunger cuz dude I'm the only protein packed meal they'd find.
But then I wonder if I'd need their help to get away too? Like using them as buoyant boats or something.
Horrible right? But who's to know?
Wink wink
I'd probably run away very far from them at the very first sign of hunger cuz dude I'm the only protein packed meal they'd find.
But then I wonder if I'd need their help to get away too? Like using them as buoyant boats or something.
Horrible right? But who's to know?
Wink wink
And so it is
What am I if not someone to overcome my hurdles no matter how small, in fact I'd prefer if they were almost minuscule to non existent.
Right then, I have a crisper drawer full of vegetables, I have eggs and milk and fruits and next week I shall stock up on some meat as well which means that dinner tonight can be a full fledged affair.
Have to get back on life track and begin doing everything that I'm supposed to.
Vacation is officially over but my head doesn't think so yet.
Right then, I have a crisper drawer full of vegetables, I have eggs and milk and fruits and next week I shall stock up on some meat as well which means that dinner tonight can be a full fledged affair.
Have to get back on life track and begin doing everything that I'm supposed to.
Vacation is officially over but my head doesn't think so yet.
Updates
Who me?
Still not bought any veggies yet.
And you?
—
I shall be going out to buy some because it's horrible to keep procrastinating like this .
But first some hot chocolate because caffeine purge week is here.
Still not bought any veggies yet.
And you?
—
I shall be going out to buy some because it's horrible to keep procrastinating like this .
But first some hot chocolate because caffeine purge week is here.
Tuesday, 5 November 2019
***
Time heals all they say.
The hurts are only put in cold storage until such time as they begin smarting again.
How does one stop pining for that one moment all their life?
The hurts are only put in cold storage until such time as they begin smarting again.
How does one stop pining for that one moment all their life?
Sleep times
Barely ten and yet I feel sleepy .
These are the after affects of suddenly laying off the herbs as I have often noticed during times of going cold turkey, however they last only a couple days after which it's same old sleepless issues again. I go through horrible periods of insomnia and though I try to find solutions there isn't a permanent one.
These are the after affects of suddenly laying off the herbs as I have often noticed during times of going cold turkey, however they last only a couple days after which it's same old sleepless issues again. I go through horrible periods of insomnia and though I try to find solutions there isn't a permanent one.